Am I a total bastard for only giving two weeks notice?

[black_rabbit]

@The_Second_Stone

I’m interested in the update of what the CEO/boss response is to the departure. I hope we are let in.

Guilt trip, no counter. [del]We’re[/del] They’re doing the dance for some funding right now, so I got the “Well, there could be options after the investment comes in…” spiel, but nothing in writing. He thinks I’m making a Big Mistake, I think I have a bird in the hand, yadda yadda yadda.

I’ve already handed in a pretty solid transition plan, so it’s likely that I’ll spend Week 1 implementing it, and Week 2 on vacation. I have plans to get drunk with my one Genuine Buddy at the company this weekend, and I’ll tell the team on Monday.

C’est la vie.

[The_Second_Stone]

Best wishes. You are not making a mistake.

[Defensive_Indifference]

Good for you, and best of luck in your new endeavor!

[Nava]

@Bayard

True. Especially if he thinks you’re ticked, he doesn’t want you around sabotaging the network. That wouldn’t be unusual.

Somehow, though, I’ve never got the “Thanks for your notice, you can leave now” routine. I’ve always hoped an employer would so I could have extra time off, but no such luck. Maybe next time!

I got something like that once. I got sick (caused in part by the boss making my junior and me stay way late for no other purpose than to clang his balls) and, as I was asking the receptionist to call me a taxi, Mr. Cocainestache forbade it and yelled “if you leave don’t come back”.

I went back to the office, typed in my two-weeks notice and sent it. Thank you, Compañía de María, for those three years of typing lessons: I can type a resignation email without typos when I’m so tired I can’t read the letters.

Then I went out and as I was starting to call a cab, got a call about a job. Called the cab and left.

Mr. Cokestache wanted me to stay; his boss traveled over from Central so they could both try to guilt-trip me; “you can’t do this to meeeeeeeee!” Oh, OK: so you can assault a coworker who had been taken to the ER and spent two days in the hospital for gastrenteritis, you can call the men cowards and weaklings and the women whores, you can come to work at 11ish but require that we be in at 8, you can tell me “if you leave don’t come back” when I’m so dizzy I can’t effing read and I can’t “do this to you”. For some reason, I didn’t stay. Totally illogical of me, I know… I’m so terrrribly selfish!

I’ve had three, no, they’re four now, bosses use the expression “you can’t do this to me!” I’ll give you a guess as to which of my ex-bosses are my four worst.

Best wishes in your new job, black rabbit.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Good luck! You can always come and drink with us, you know.

[Snarky_Kong]

@black_rabbit

Guilt trip, no counter.

Fuck that dude.

[leftfield6]

@black_rabbit

Guilt trip, no counter. [del]We’re[/del] They’re doing the dance for some funding right now, so I got the “Well, there could be options after the investment comes in…” spiel, but nothing in writing.

If they come back with an offer, don’t even consider it. You will never be trusted again there, and your old boss will have it out for you. There is no “win” in accepting a counter-offer from your current employer.

You’ve made the right call, now just stay the course. Congrats!

[The_Second_Stone]

@leftfield6

If they come back with an offer, don’t even consider it. You will never be trusted again there, and your old boss will have it out for you. There is no “win” in accepting a counter-offer from your current employer.

You’ve made the right call, now just stay the course. Congrats!

I’d agree with this. Especially with what was said about this particular employer.

[muldoonthief]

@black_rabbit

Guilt trip, no counter. [del]We’re[/del] They’re doing the dance for some funding right now, so I got the “Well, there could be options after the investment comes in…” spiel, but nothing in writing. He thinks I’m making a Big Mistake, I think I have a bird in the hand, yadda yadda yadda.

I’ve already handed in a pretty solid transition plan, so it’s likely that I’ll spend Week 1 implementing it, and Week 2 on vacation. I have plans to get drunk with my one Genuine Buddy at the company this weekend, and I’ll tell the team on Monday.

C’est la vie.

The guy’s an asshole. You probably want to consider treating every day as your possible last - as in immediately bring home any personal possessions.

[Orwell]

@TroutMan

At my company, we aren’t concerned as much with sabotage as with the negative impact on other employees. Someone who is leaving is more likely to bitch about the company, discuss all their reasons for leaving, and talk about how much better it will be at their next job. If you don’t need the person for transition, it’s easier on everyone to just let them go now and avoid another two weeks of them bringing down morale.

At my second job out of college (not IT), I went to work for a small-medium size company. Unbeknownst to me, the head of the department I started in had just given his two-week notice to leave. I didn’t know that yet, and he didn’t explicitly say anything bad about the company, but he definitely gave off a bad vibe, and there were several off-the-cuff comments that I figured out later. He assigned me to a hands-on trainer, who quickly filled me in that the department head was leaving due to disagreements with the company owner. It created a bad impression right off the bat, for sure, and he was a downer to everyone in the department for those two weeks.

[Enright3]

@Lasciel

The worst I’d heard happened to a friend. He was engaged, just bought a new house in the burbs, and was off on his honeymoon, which he’d cleared with his workplace about 6 months earlier.

Comes back the first day after the vacation to his boss telling him to clear out his things and leave immediately - he had been downsized during his honeymoon, but his direct boss fought like a trooper to keep him on salary until he returned so he wouldn’t get the bad news while he was ON HIS HONEYMOON.

That was a freaked-out dude for about two months while he frantically job-searched. Wedding payments, new house, new mortgage, new bride, and no warning for being out of a job? Holy shit.

Ugh, that sucks. I once signed papers on a new house, went into work later that day… and was laid off. Fortunately we were able to cancel everything; but it meant living with my in-laws for a few months until we found a place to live. Not a fun time.

[JustinC]

Two weeks seems appropriate, especially as you’ve already been coaching someone as a replacement. The last time I quit a job I gave 5 weeks notice, and helped the useless management try to source for a replacement (pointed out good websites and helped with the advertisements). A couple of days after I left they called me, asking if I’d come back. I had another role to go to and their commitment to me was absolutely zero, so I’d have been a mug to go back.

I’d received absolutely zero help from them when I needed it - they provided a terrible apartment infested with cockroaches, was treated with disdain when I asked where I could find an exterminator; “We don’t have them in this country”, and I only gave so much notice for my colleagues’ sake. I left without looking back for a second, did as much as I could for them and left with my head held high.

Now I’m in a role where I also have to give 3 months notice, and can be fired on the spot for gross negligence. Apart from that my colleagues and management are fantastic. Also the apartment is lovely and uplift in salary is big. I’m so glad I left.

[edwardcoast]

@black_rabbit

I’m the IT infrastructure manager at a small services company. I manage a team of six. I’ve been here for close to ten years, and have been here longer than anyone else on the senior management team. My photo is on the web site.

The CEO/owner and I are cordial, but not close. I’ve been told in no uncertain terms that my desire for equity is never gonna happen. A few years ago, he reneged on a verbal deal we had concerning tuition reimbursement, where he walked back on a promise to pick up the full tab for my MBA, instead kicking in the normal IRS yearly limit, which cost me about $60k.

Lately, after a few retirements and replacements on the management team, the chemistry has changed. I’ve been generally happy, but have lately been suffering from more than a little ennui. I’ve done everything there is to do within my role, and the next few years look like more of the same.

I’ve recently had a really, really great opportunity fall in to my lap. Less responsibility, fewer hours, nicer clients, more pay (+25%), and better advancement potential. The duties are right in my wheelhouse, and I can see myself having a big positive impact.

Everyone I’ve interviewed with at the new place has been effusive about me, and I’ve been told by their internal headhunter to expect a written offer this afternoon.

The sticking point: They want me to start in two weeks. The team I’d be stepping in to manage is currently leaderless, and suffered from poor leadership for a time before that, to the point that it’s affecting revenue They need somebody to parachute in and stop the bleeding ASAP.

Given that they’re the ones who asked me out, I negotiated strenuously. I got more salary, a better title, and more time off, but the one thing they refused to move on was the start date. I tried get it a month out, but they’re not having it.

My team will eventually be fine. There’s no obvious replacement for me; the guy with the best technical chops and most business knowledge is severely lacking in the managerial soft skills. I recently hired someone who has the background and temperament to eventually fill my shoes, but it’ll take some time for him to learn the business. My original plan was to get him fully up to speed before I started looking elsewhere, but there’s no time for that now.

On the one hand, I don’t want to make loyalty to my soon-to-be old job a dealbreaker with the new one.

On the other hand, my Roman Codependent upbringing is making me feel like a total asshole.

For what it’s worth, I’m already working on a transition plan, and I don’t see anything on the list of things I do or projects I’m running that can’t be handled by someone else. Not that there won’t be stumbles and missteps and a little bit of chaos, but my supposed irreplaceability extends only as far as others’ desire not to have to deal with the shit I deal with.

So… am I a jerk for giving two weeks - well 12 business days - notice in this situation?

$60K, WTF!!!

Anyway, I’m a very experienced IT person myself with similar experience to yours. And as much as I regard what I do to be extremely important and no one can easily step into my shoes to take over, that’s all a fantasy. I say this because, I’ve seen people leave that everyone thought were irreplaceable, but the shock of them leaving only lasts a day and plans to take over their responsibilities is quickly put into place. By the time your two weeks are up, the last few days there you won’t be doing much work except saying goodbye to people and giving away stuff in your office to others.

2 weeks is very standard and no reasonable person would think otherwise. But if they are upset you are leaving because it’s going to cost them more money to replace you, that’s really their problem, and not yours. If you were a key person involved in cancer research, something truly important, 2 weeks notice would be enough and you might feel bad or wrong about leaving if you were very near a break-thru in your research.

But IT infrastructure manager, by it’s title implies there was planning in place and after being there so long it’s likely a maintenance role. This is not like you bailing on a MASH unit going AWL before a replacement doctor arrives.

Enjoy your new job, and the nice pay bump. As for the previous employer, they didn’t seem to be too concerned to treat you properly and costing you $60K that they promised to take care of originally.

[edwardcoast]

@black_rabbit

Good points all around.

I need to shitcan my bourgeois anxiety and start thinking of myself as a replaceable cog, and I mean that sincerely.

Seriously, from my experience, once you realize that you aren’t all that important to begin with, it frees you up to start actually thinking more creatively about your role.

[edwardcoast]

@black_rabbit

Funny story:

Sales were up last year, but off target. The VP of Sales, who had been here almost as long as me and had pretty decent success over the years, was demoted to a line sales guy and we were all informed that the boss was looking for a replacement.

The former VP resigned (with notice, natch) after he had another position lined up a month later. The boss has since acted sincerely pained that Demoted Guy had the temerity to actually quit. Like this place is so great that somebody who had just been publicly humiliated would want to continue to work here.

Maybe I’ve been in management too long. I need to lay off the Kool Aid.

Oh, that’s exactly what is going on. In the companies and even departments they talk amongst themselves and start to believe their own self importance and entirely over look their faults which badly need to be improved. It is easy to get caught up in their BS. But on the weekend, sit in a quiet place and imagine how you would run the place if you were CEO with entirely tossing out the past of the company and the personalities involved. What would you want in the role of each person that reported to you, what would you want them to feel at the end of the day. You will quickly realize just how screwed up some places are.

I’m happy for you, you are getting out of that place.

[edwardcoast]

@black_rabbit

Guilt trip, no counter. [del]We’re[/del] They’re doing the dance for some funding right now, so I got the “Well, there could be options after the investment comes in…” spiel, but nothing in writing. He thinks I’m making a Big Mistake, I think I have a bird in the hand, yadda yadda yadda.

I’ve already handed in a pretty solid transition plan, so it’s likely that I’ll spend Week 1 implementing it, and Week 2 on vacation. I have plans to get drunk with my one Genuine Buddy at the company this weekend, and I’ll tell the team on Monday.

C’est la vie.

The CEO is a self-serving asshole, no question. Telling you, that you are making a big mistake. This is how it should have been.

You: Hi. Do you have a minute? Mind if I close the door.
CEO: Sure, come on it, have a seat.
You: I want to let you know I have an offer for another job, and discussed it with my family and they are in agreement. My last day will be (2 weeks from today). [You hand over your letter that you resigned.]
CEO: OK. Well, I am sorry to see you leave and I wish you the best of luck.
You: Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. I have enjoyed being here. I have a plan in place to turn things over to some people in my group and here is a copy of it for you. [hand him the document].
CEO: Thanks, this will be helpful. Can you tell me where you are going?
You: Yes, it’s XYZ.
CEO: Sounds like a good place for you. [Stands up to shake your hand]. Congratulation on your new position. Would you be interested in us taking you out for lunch with some of the team before you leave?
You: That would be nice, I’d enjoy that.
CEO: OK, I will get it set up.

That’s how it should be. I resigned from jobs in IT and it was pretty much like the above. Shitty bosses say you are making a mistake, which is pure BS and it’s just their ego and jealously talking.

[CaptainAmerica_1987]

Oh who cares take the new job and don’t look back!

[Dangerosa]

@black_rabbit

Good points all around.

I need to shitcan my bourgeois anxiety and start thinking of myself as a replaceable cog, and I mean that sincerely.

You have to admit that the CEO thinks of you as a replacement cog, then it will be easy. You know better. But that isn’t your problem. He’ll find out…or maybe he’ll be right. But either way, you don’t have equity, it isn’t your problem.

[Mama_Zappa]

@OldGuy

I assume you mean obligation rather than “right”, but I’d think if you gave two weeks notice and they replied you’re out now with no pay, then you’ve been fired rather than resigned, and they might be liable for unemployment.

:smack:
Yeah, I meant “obligation”. I’m reasonably sure the employer has the “right” to pay the employee 2 weeks or anything else they like in that situation