# Am I allowed to use the word "\*\*\*\*"? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [July 5, 2019, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588 "2019-07-05T20:22:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/41 "2019-07-06T13:55:50Z")
“ **" is one thing, but if we allow it, "\*\*_", "_-** -_ **" and "** _\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*” will become common usage, and the Dope will be plunged into the dark night of spiritual degradation and decay. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/42 "2019-07-06T13:57:49Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > “ **" is one thing, but if we allow it, "\*\*_", "_-** -_ **" and "** _\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*” will become common usage, and the Dope will be plunged into the dark night of spiritual degradation and decay. I disagree in the strongest possible terms, sir. It’s \*\*\*\*s like you who keep \*\*\*\*ing up the **ing world, you mother** er! > [@Chronos](#): > > Huh. I did type more; I must have accidentally deleted it before posting. What I had there was something like: > > And while I recognize that slang is different in different parts of the world, and that there are some parts of the world where “cunt” is relatively mild, the US is not one of those parts, and this board and the majority of our users are based in the US, and so we must keep US sensibilities in mind. Don’t project your own sensibilities unto an entire country. The sensibilities of someone raised in a Fundamenalist household with a mentally ill father\* may not represent US sensibilities as a whole. Bottom line: If I use the word “ **" in GQ again, am I getting a warning? Would other people get a warning? If "** ” is unacceptable in GQ, that should go to a sticky thread and apply to everyone rather than just me. \*According to what you said which I may be misremembering. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/43 "2019-07-06T14:21:33Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > I thought we had agreed to use it, within the guidelines for insults. I’ve held up to my part of the agreement, despite some protestations at work. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/44 "2019-07-06T14:43:29Z")
My dad was a mentally ill fundamentalist, but I wasn’t raised by him, but by my sane, tolerant mother. And anyway, I didn’t say that I was offended by the word; I said that most Americans are. Which is true. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/45 "2019-07-06T14:47:47Z")
It sort of makes sense for GQ. Answers are meant to be factual and that doesn’t leave much room for off-color language. The OP was being a bit lazy when he used ‘cunt’ to describe said nodules. What is the factual term? Calling something a cunt that isn’t a cunt is counterfactual. If the topic is actual vaginas, then calling a gynecologist a ‘cunt doctor’ (for instance) would be unspeakably rude. If you’re a GQ mod, you better make a list. Or impose a blanket policy. Otherwise, enjoy spending the rest of your life litigating this stuff right here in ATMB. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/46 "2019-07-06T14:57:06Z")
American woman here. I hate the word. To me it has the same level of viciousness as faggot and it doesn’t compare at all to dick. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/47 "2019-07-06T15:10:08Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > American woman here. I hate the word. To me it has the same level of viciousness as faggot and it doesn’t compare at all to dick. I agree but the rules allow it so we should change the rules. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/48 "2019-07-06T15:16:26Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Don’t project your own sensibilities unto an entire country. The sensibilities of someone raised in a Fundamenalist household with a mentally ill father\* may not represent US sensibilities as a whole. > . I was not raised in a Fundamentalist household or a religious household of any sort. I can’t speak for the use in Australia but it is a genuinely nasty word in most contexts anywhere I’ve been in the USA. Most of the people who use “fuck” with abandon (and for a while in my life I was one of those people) don’t use “cunt.” Again, I can’t speak for the rest of the world; but “dick” here is much milder – possibly in part because Dick is actually a man’s name in common use, but also, I suspect, because in the overall culture people who have dicks have generally been expected to be proud of having them, but people who have cunts have all too often been expected to be ashamed of them. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/49 "2019-07-06T15:49:58Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I was not raised in a Fundamentalist household or a religious household of any sort. I can’t speak for the use in Australia but it is a genuinely nasty word in most contexts anywhere I’ve been in the USA. Most of the people who use “fuck” with abandon (and for a while in my life I was one of those people) don’t use “cunt.” > > Again, I can’t speak for the rest of the world; but “dick” here is much milder – possibly in part because Dick is actually a man’s name in common use, but also, I suspect, because in the overall culture people who have dicks have generally been expected to be proud of having them, but people who have cunts have all too often been expected to be ashamed of them. The main reason “cunt” has such impact in the US is because it’s considered taboo. You take that power away by dragging “cunt” all over the face of social propriety. It’s counter-intuitive but the more you try to cunter its influence by treating it as the modern Tetragrammaton, the worse it’ll get. Do you think it was always taken in lightness in Australia and the UK in the past? It must have been seen as just as grave as it is now in the US. How did it change? Just like the word “fuck”, that transformation occurred by cunting about with it. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/50 "2019-07-06T15:56:52Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > The main reason “cunt” has such impact in the US is because it’s considered taboo. You take that power away by dragging “cunt” all over the face of social propriety. > > It’s counter-intuitive but the more you try to cunter its influence by treating it as the modern Tetragrammaton, the worse it’ll get. Do you think it was always taken in lightness in Australia and the UK in the past? It must have been seen as just as grave as it is now in the US. How did it change? Just like the word “fuck”, it was by cunting about with it. Taboo? It’s used all the time. You know, to degrade and humiliate women. And I’m pretty sure it’s the targeted group that gets to reclaim nasty terms (like queer). So in this case, not a bunch of guys on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/51 "2019-07-06T16:08:35Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Taboo? It’s used all the time. “Taboo” doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Check out the term as it’s used in anthropology. > [@Emiliana](#): > > And I’m pretty sure it’s the targeted group that gets to reclaim nasty terms (like queer). So in this case, not a bunch of guys on the internet. Did you just assume my gender? :eek: > [@Emiliana](#): > > It’s used all the time. You know, to degrade and humiliate women. I didn’t use it to degrade and humiliate women\*. I used it to degrade and humiliate muscle knots. Fuck those guys. Now, if a poster used the word “cunt” to degrade and humiliate women in GQ, a warning would definitely be warranted. What kinda cunt does that? \*I’ll only do that if boundaries and a safeword have been agreed upon. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/52 "2019-07-06T16:15:50Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Did you just assume my gender? :eek: I did indeed. Partly because of your user name and partly because you feel free to use the word cunt. ETA: I get that you didn’t use the word with reference to a woman. Is it okay to refer to some object as nigger? ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/53 "2019-07-06T16:44:01Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > I did indeed. Partly because of your user name and partly because you feel free to use the word cunt. That mainly comes from not having been raised in English or in the US. There’s a lot of non-sense that didn’t seep into my mind as a result. For example, I never really got the insistence on coming up with “Ms” when other languages like German or French (speakers of other languages can chime in) simply defaulted to the more formal form of address. That’s the kind of uptight prissiness only Americans seem capable of insisting on. And I love to tickle uptight prissy people (my favorite target is American white Evangelicals). I can get such a great reaction for so little effort, it’s like taking a match to a drum of gasoline that really, really wants to blow up. > [@Emiliana](#): > > ETA: I get that you didn’t use the word with reference to a woman. Is it okay to refer to some object as nigger? I wouldn’t think so given that “nigger” refers to a person who is said to be inferior whereas “cunt” refers to a bodypart like “asshole”. I guess that’s the difference between you and I. You conceive of “cunt” as referring to a person, I conceive of it as referring to a bodypart. Basic anatomy is with me. If it upsets you that I use it that way, it’s not the reason I use it but it’s a nice little extra cherry on top so thank you for providing me with cherries. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/54 "2019-07-06T16:59:37Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > That mainly comes from not having been raised in English or in the US. There’s a lot of non-sense that didn’t seep into my mind as a result. For example, I never really got the insistence on coming up with “Ms” when other languages like German or French (speakers of other languages can chime in) simply defaulted to the more formal form of address. That’s the kind of uptight prissiness only Americans seem capable of insisting on. And I love to tickle uptight prissy people (my favorite target is American white Evangelicals). I can get such a great reaction for so little effort, it’s like taking a match to a drum of gasoline that really, really wants to blow up. > > I wouldn’t think so given that “nigger” refers to a person who is said to be inferior whereas “cunt” refers to a bodypart like “asshole”. I guess that’s the difference between you and I. You conceive of “cunt” as referring to a person, I conceive of it as referring to a bodypart. Basic anatomy is with me. If it upsets you that I use it that way, it’s not the reason I use it but it’s a nice little extra cherry on top so thank you for providing me with cherries. Yeah, I get that you think you’re tweaking uptight prissy Americans. Calling a woman a cunt is reducing her personhood to a body part. That’s the whole point of the insult. Like if I call you an asshole, I’m not just referring to a body part. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/55 "2019-07-06T17:20:01Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > That mainly comes from not having been raised in English or in the US. There’s a lot of non-sense that didn’t seep into my mind as a result. For example, I never really got the insistence on coming up with “Ms” when other languages like German or French (speakers of other languages can chime in) simply defaulted to the more formal form of address. That’s the kind of uptight prissiness only Americans seem capable of insisting on. And I love to tickle uptight prissy people (my favorite target is American white Evangelicals). I can get such a great reaction for so little effort, it’s like taking a match to a drum of gasoline that really, really wants to blow up. There’s a word for this, but it’s taboo. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/56 "2019-07-06T17:25:38Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Yeah, I get that you think you’re tweaking uptight prissy Americans. > > Calling a woman a cunt is reducing her personhood to a body part. That’s the whole point of the insult. > > Like if I call you an asshole, I’m not just referring to a body part. But I’m not calling women cunts. Can you show me where I did that? Please provide the post in a quote. A forum is very handy that way because you can search my posting history and see for yourself how often I use it to reduce women as a group or even individual women to their bodyparts. From what I could find, one time was a female cartoon pony and another time was a female politician pushing xenophobic policies (I’d have called a male politician the same thing). The rest of the time it was men, most commonly myself. When I call a man a cunt, am I reducing his personhood to one of his bodyparts? Am I saying he’s only good for his vagina? > [@BlankSlate](#): > > There’s a word for this, but it’s taboo. I think the rules allow you to call me anything you want in the Pit so have at it. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/57 "2019-07-06T17:51:18Z")
There are people who are trying to reclaim the word. They don’t so by using it as an insult; they do so by using it as a neutral reference to anatomy. As Emiliana says, queer people reclaimed the word “queer”. They didn’t do so by using it as an insult. They did so by using it for themselves, with pride. > [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > That mainly comes from not having been raised in English or in the US. There’s a lot of non-sense that didn’t seep into my mind as a result. For example, I never really got the insistence on coming up with “Ms” when other languages like German or French (speakers of other languages can chime in) simply defaulted to the more formal form of address. What more formal form of address? Using titles is the formal form of address in English. > [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > And I love to tickle uptight prissy people (my favorite target is American white Evangelicals). I can get such a great reaction for so little effort, it’s like taking a match to a drum of gasoline that really, really wants to blow up. So however you were using the word “cunt” in the first place, at this point you want to use it specifically to upset other people (who you may also be miscategorizing)? I had been thinking that, presuming these boards decide to continue allowing the use, I’d need to adjust my instinctive reaction away from ‘the person using this is probably not a person I want to have a conversation with unless it’s really important to do so’ and towards ‘the person using this quite possibly lives in Australia’. Maybe I ought to reconsider that. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/58 "2019-07-06T18:12:52Z")
Outside of the US, “cunt” IS seen as being the same as “dick” or “asshole”, so to someone from say, Ireland, it wouldn’t be like calling someone a “fag” or a “kike”. > [@Chronos](#): > > Huh. I did type more; I must have accidentally deleted it before posting. What I had there was something like: > > And while I recognize that slang is different in different parts of the world, and that there are some parts of the world where “cunt” is relatively mild, the US is not one of those parts, and this board and the majority of our users are based in the US, and so we must keep US sensibilities in mind. > Maybe that’s true in Australia, but it is most emphatically not true in the US, where it’s still either the most or second-most offensive word in the language. Use of the word in any context will raise American hackles, including non-Pentecostal hackles (though using it to refer to muscle knots will likely also confuse those hackles, since that’s not a way the word is used even in vulgar American English). But none of that is the point. People aren’t asking whether or not it’s offensive. They’re asking: what are the RULES??? Look, just ban the word, or don’t. I don’t care, I’m pretty much indifferent to it. But this has gone on far enough. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/59 "2019-07-06T18:21:07Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Calling a woman a cunt is reducing her personhood to a body part. That’s the whole point of the insult. I call people cunts all the time, because it is just a word and generally people around here know that the context matters far more than whatever 4 letter word you decide to go with. But what might really confuse you is the fact that we don’t call women cunts, I can’t remember ever calling a woman a cunt. Women are bitches, men are cunts. This craic of the word cunt being some attack on womanhood itself is just victimhood if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588/60 "2019-07-06T18:24:16Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > But I’m not calling women cunts. Can you show me where I did that? Please provide the post in a quote. A forum is very handy that way because you can search my posting history and see for yourself how often I use it to reduce women as a group or even individual women to their bodyparts. From what I could find, one time was a female cartoon pony and another time was a female politician pushing xenophobic policies (I’d have called a male politician the same thing). The rest of the time it was men, most commonly myself. When I call a man a cunt, am I reducing his personhood to one of his bodyparts? Am I saying he’s only good for his vagina? You don’t need to search the forum to see that I’ve already noted you didn’t use the term in reference to women. You just have to read my responses to you in this very thread. I’m afraid that I’m just not going to listen to you–a non-American, non-native speaker of English–tell me what I should think and feel about the term. That you consider yourself an authoritative voice on the matter would seem to confirm your gender, however. Carry on with whatever floats your boat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-allowed-to-use-the-word/836588.md?page=4)