# Am I being overprotective of my 9-year-old? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322 "2003-05-15T01:11:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/21 "2003-05-15T03:41:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > **Yes, someone needs to read thread titles.** That would help :smack: oof ---
**Author:** ![meta-sin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@meta-sin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meta-sin)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/22 "2003-05-15T03:46:41Z")
i lived about a mile away from my elementary school. my parents would never let me walk alone. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/23 "2003-05-15T03:57:58Z")
**Mike G** , it’s Western & Grace. And I worded it poorly – each kid’s parents pays this couple to walk their kid. Sorry 'bout that. I’m pretty comfortable with the idea that he can walk on his own once he’s 10, or even fourth grade. But right now, I think I’ll keep things as they are. I suspect that parents of the other kids his age in the walking group are having the same issue with their kids as I am. So perhaps we can arrange for them to meet up on their own at the beginning of next school year. The kid can tough it out – there are only 6 weeks or so left in the school year here anyway. Thanks all, for your responses. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/24 "2003-05-15T05:32:34Z")
When I was nine, not only did I walk 10 blocks to school (up hill, both ways, barefoot through snow, of course 😉 ) I had to watch my younger siblings and keep them out of trouble too. Let the kid walk. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/25 "2003-05-15T06:26:29Z")
> [@](#): > > I think your son should walk by himself BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I think he could cause any potential abductor to weep in mirth, thereby negating any problems. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/26 "2003-05-16T12:19:27Z")
Oh man. Hmm, well, I don’t have kids so I really don’t know what kids are like at age 9…so this for what it is worth: I cringe at the idea of him walking alone. It’d only take one phone call where he’s late or been distracted and I know I’d lose my mind. However,I don’t tend to know how put together a 9 year old can be. Maybe I’ll call him and tell him to lose a coat each day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/27 "2003-05-16T13:26:38Z")
Gee, I must have been a terrible mom - at 9, my daughter was a latch-key kid. She got off the bus, walked the block to the house where the noisy dog waited, and did her homework. I got home about 30 minutes or so later. Our next door neighbor was available in an emergency, but there was never an emergency. Had she not demonstrated that she was trustworthy, she’d have been in after-school daycare. It also helped that we lived in a very safe suburban neighborhood. Said daughter is now 17, and she spends 1-2 weekends a month home alone. She seems to be level-headed and independent and responsible. I think it’s less a matter of age and more a matter of personal maturity. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/28 "2003-05-16T13:55:03Z")
I think nine is old enough to walk down the street by himself. If he wants to do it, I think it’s a sign that he’s ready. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/29 "2003-05-16T14:01:22Z")
He’ll at least be packing heat though, right? My kiddo is only 21 months and wants to walk every-damn-where by herself…not big on holdng Daddy’s hand. No wisdom from me on this topic… ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/30 "2003-05-16T14:06:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tiburon \* > \*\*Maybe I’ll call him and tell him to lose a coat each day. 🙂 \*\* He’s on that already. Thanks, though. **monstro** , I think he wants to do it for the wrong reasons. I think he just doesn’t like these adults personally and that’s why he wants to do it. If it were an “I’m not a _baby_” thing, maybe it would make a difference, I don’t know. **FairyChatMom** , it’s parents like you that make me happy. I’m all for giving him more responsibility so that he has the opportunity to step up to the plate. But I don’t want him to bite off more than he can chew. Thing is, I don’t have a problem with him being in the house by himself for a little while – I trust him to not do anything too stupid – it’s OTHER people that freak me out. Ah. When he does start walking himself, I will certainly have him call me from the club to let me know he’s arrived safely. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/31 "2003-05-16T14:07:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > **He’ll at least be packing heat though, right?** Absolutely! I’m not irresponsible! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/32 "2003-05-16T14:41:47Z")
Enough of this even-handed, I-need-to-know-more-about-the-circumstances malarkey. No. Absolutely not. Not at age 9, not in the safest neighbrohood in the world. There’s too many things that can happen. Forgot abduction. Just think about a big kid bully, a car that runs a red light, even a sudden thunderstorm. When he gets to age 10 or so, he could make the walk with several (not just one) friends. We lived about 3 blocks from the elementary school. Nice, safe neighborhood, no major streets to cross. Mrs. Kunilou and I wouldn’t led the kids go or come by themselves (on foot or on bikes) until they were well into the 5th grade. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/33 "2003-05-16T14:54:23Z")
No. A child who’s only 9 years old is still too young to walk alone to school. By the way, my husband thinks I’m being overprotective for planning to have our daughter fitted for her first chastity belt when she reaches puberty. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/34 "2003-05-16T14:54:54Z")
**Gundy** ’s son’s SDMB username should be **Sondy**. That’s hilarious that he posted. For a minute, I was thinking, _Wow, Gundy isn’t very patient in waiting for replies. Sheesh!_ That’s a toughie. If I were a momma, I’d go with my gut. It sounds as if your gut has spoken. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/35 "2003-05-16T14:56:17Z")
**Gundy** ’s son’s SDMB username should be **Sondy**. That’s hilarious that he posted. For a minute, I was thinking, _Wow, Gundy isn’t very patient in waiting for replies. Sheesh!_ To answer the OP, that’s a toughie. If I were a momma, I’d go with my gut. It sounds as if your gut has spoken. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/36 "2003-05-16T14:58:17Z")
Dammit. I hope you’ll notice that the second post is slightly different. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/37 "2003-05-16T15:09:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kunilou \* > \*\*Enough of this even-handed, I-need-to-know-more-about-the-circumstances malarkey. > > No. Absolutely not. Not at age 9, not in the safest neighbrohood in the world. There’s too many things that can happen. Forgot abduction. Just think about a big kid bully, a car that runs a red light, even a sudden thunderstorm. > > When he gets to age 10 or so, he could make the walk with several (not just one) friends. > > We lived about 3 blocks from the elementary school. Nice, safe neighborhood, no major streets to cross. Mrs. Kunilou and I wouldn’t led the kids go or come by themselves (on foot or on bikes) until they were well into the 5th grade. \*\* I’m finding your tone more than a little strident. Thank you for your opinion, but I don’t think it negates the experience of many other people in this thread, including my own. As I said, I have made my decision to continue having him escorted for the remainder of the year. My hope is that the parents of the other kids in his walking group will want to continue walking as a group, minus the adult, when they’re in fourth grade. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/38 "2003-05-16T15:13:52Z")
Granted, it was eons ago, but I walked to school by myself when I was in the first grade. Three blocks, across a minimum of 2 streets, depending what route I followed. The next year, my sister joined me, and the year after, my brother and his best friend came along. Is it worse to be too protective or too trusting? Tough call, but I’m an advocate of fostering independence and self-reliance. Every person and every situation is unique - as parents we have to trust our guts, right? **Gundy** , glad I can make you happy. It makes my life worthwhile! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/39 "2003-05-16T15:31:18Z")
When I was nine I would spent hours out of the house by myself on my bike, riding all over the east side of town. I see no reason why your son cannot walk five blocks by himself. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322/40 "2003-05-16T15:47:56Z")
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t walk to school, but I did have an older sister to walk with me. She would have been in 4th grade when I was in first, so that makes a difference. I think telling him to wait until next year is a good compromise, seeing how there are a lot of other kids that walk with him (he’s not being ridiculed) and there’s only a few weeks of school left. Especially if other parents are planning the same thing. That way he knows an end is in sight, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-being-overprotective-of-my-9-year-old/175322.md?page=3)