[Devil’s advocate]But how do poor Haitians feel about seeing white people care enough about them to venture out of their safety and comfort zones for at least a few days to come and spend some time with them?[/Devil’s advocate]
How did you know the co-worker and her daughter are white ?
My former church organizes a mission trip to Appalachia every year to build/expand homes. They take toys, clothes and blankets with them. They get a lot of building done and the residents enjoy the presents. I fail to see what’s wrong with that kind of effort.
I would probably donate a small amount to your coworker for some of the reasons listed above. I would not donate ten dollars for “a wreath for the Virgin Mary” like one coworker asked me to do. The Catholics have enough money to buy their own decorations, in my opinion.
A trip to Appalachia is a lot easier and cheaper to pull off than a trip to Haiti, for starters. There also isn’t a cholera epidemic.
I would approach it the same way that I approach any kind of ‘I’m selling stuff for my kid’s <blank>.’ I usually buy one chocolate bar, box of cookies, coupon book, raffle ticket or whatever so that when I am stuck in the position to do the same, they will buy from me.
So, I would contribute a few bucks with the understanding that this is for the daughter, not for Haiti.
Nothing whatsoever! My prior post suggested that if you desire to broaden your mind by encountering poor people, you can do it right here in America. That effort is different in virtually every way from traveling to Haiti.
For example, I imagine that in the years your church has been making these trips, no one has ever been kidnapped and raped on their way from the airport. You had, at all times, the ability to call 911 and receive emergency services. I imagine you had healthy drinking water throughout your trip and electricity in most places. Every member of the mission group was a fluent speaker of the local language. There was no need to establish emergency evacuation procedures, or make the US Government aware of your plans for your own safety. You knew where you could build because the land records were accurate and controversy about ownership of property was not a continuous problem. If you needed some lumber, or ran short of nails or caulk or paint, you just toddled down to the local Home Depot. The State Department never advised you explicitly NOT to go there, right?
Now try to imagine a world in which NONE of that is true. That world is Haiti, right now.
The whole idea of packing children off to one of the most desperate scenes in the Western hemisphere so they can feel oh-so-generous and moral is ridiculously wasteful, and it’s selfish.
I see the OP, I think the same way when I see politicians going to foreign countries or even news anchors having to be somewhere to cover the news. Why? OK in WWII it made sense, but with technology the way it is, there’s no need to waste the money
On the other hand sending the kid to a third world country may wake her up. Maybe she’ll come back and instead of going into some corporate schlub job she’ll work in a field that helps people.
It could change her whole life. Or not, maybe she’ll get disgusted with it and wind up hating third world countries, you never know.
I do think I would not support anyone’s trip overseas.
I got it from this:
“privileged white kids”
But you’re right, I don’t know. Still, this is definitely a white person thing to do. 
My grandparents took me on a tour of Guatemala when I was twelve. Aside from being a really beautiful part of the world, it was eye opening for me to see families living in a 10’ by 10’ “house” built out of cinder blocks and corrugated aluminum, with no door, never mind plumbing.
But that was a tour. Part of the price went to help support the missions program that ran the tours, and I imagine they were hitting up all the adults in the group for donations above and beyond the list price, but no-one pretended that we were doing the locals a favor by showing up.
Tell her you’re saving up to go to the island yourself. Of course, she never needs to know that “the island” is Maui.
You’re describing trickle down economics. It never works. It’s putting money into the pockets of the fat cats, possibly, fat cats from outside Haiti. That money never finds it way to the people who need it.