# Am I Crazy **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 23, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124 "2013-01-23T17:28:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/21 "2013-01-23T20:03:46Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I know you are a funny guy but are you sure? This is the human heart after all, it’s the stupidest organ in our body. 🙂 Maybe in \*yours…\*some of us have another one in the running. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/22 "2013-01-23T20:16:06Z")
My friend’s got a boyfriend and she hates that dick… ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/23 "2013-01-23T20:20:10Z")
How long have you been going out with the boyfriend? Unless you are on the verge of actually making the decision to live together, I think allowing him in your place when you aren’t there is right on the verge of being a boundary violation. I think the discussion that is called for isn’t “Hey buddy, you need to start chipping in for the food you eat,” it should be, “How close are we to taking the next step and getting engaged/move in together.” If you aren’t close to taking the next step in the relationship, whatever you think that next step should be, I would be highly inclined to say that your boyfriend is a no-good freeloader. Then the question becomes, why can’t you set boundaries with this guy? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/24 "2013-01-23T20:58:28Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > My friend’s got a boyfriend and she hates that dick… Classic! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/25 "2013-01-23T21:33:40Z")
Sounds to me like you’re dating a homeless man. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/26 "2013-01-23T22:10:28Z")
Why don’t you move in together, live in a new apartment and share expenses? StG ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/27 "2013-01-23T22:21:03Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > How much is he spending on these dates in comparison to the food he eats at your house? If it’s a wash I say let it go. This was my thought too. It does matter who is paying for the dates and how much. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/28 "2013-01-24T02:33:56Z")
Just start asking him to stop at the store and pick up X, Y, and Z. If he has any sense at all he’ll take the hint and start doing that on a regular basis without always having to be asked. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/29 "2013-01-25T02:00:55Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Start charging him for the sex. Yes, but what happens if \*he \*charges _her_, and his prices are higher? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/30 "2013-01-25T02:16:38Z")
Then she stops paying for and receiving services, and VIOLA! They’re married! ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/31 "2013-01-25T02:33:51Z")
The way you emphasize how desperately you want him to continue to be around and play house with you gives me the impression that 1: He is very well aware of that aspect of the power dynamic in your relationship 2: For an assumedly grown man to knowingly act like a domestic parasite and occupy your premises without any offer of support other than paying for dates gives me a pretty strong clue of what’s going to happen if you pressure him for financial support, and it’s not going to be what you want to happen. He will leave. I’m going to guess he’s fairly good looking. You boyfriend is not clueless, he is perfectly happy being a kept man, and if you are not willing to continue keeping him he will find a new patron. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124/32 "2013-01-25T02:52:16Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > No, don’t be passive aggressive! Why would you be passive aggressive with a man you love? If he loves you, he should know that your finances need some help. Just say, “Hey honey, listen, can we talk about our finances? I need a little help around the house, and I think we should talk about pooling at least some of our income.” > > You also need to let him stop ‘treating’ you all the time when you go on dates. Sometimes you should take him out, too. > > Finance is one of the biggest things that couples fight about. Never go the passive aggressive route. Be direct in what you want and need. Remember, if you end up spending your life with this fellow, you want to know you are compatible in this as much as love. Read this post carefully, **heat1**. You’re not going to get very far in a healthy relationship without being able to negotiate basic, important things like living arrangements and finances. > [@StGermain](#): > > Why don’t you move in together, live in a new apartment and share expenses? > > StG I was wondering that myself. It sounds like they have two different apartments, but they’re only living in one, and paying for both. Talk to him, **heat1**. Ask him if you should move in together, if that’s what he wants. Discuss it. Tell him the current arrangement isn’t making any sense any longer. I also agree that paying for dinner out three or four times a month isn’t the same as paying half the rent and utilities and food, but it isn’t peanuts, either, especially if you’re going for more expensive meals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-crazy/648124.md?page=1)