# Am I.... dangerous? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 28, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361 "2004-01-28T01:05:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/1 "2004-01-28T01:05:34Z")
Seriously, no smarty-pants replies needed. Sometimes (often) when I’m by my self and playing a computer game or watching tv or doing just about anything unimportant, and things don’t go my way, I really lose it. I’ll let go with a string of curses (like the hunchback dude in _Candy_) in a way I never do when someone’s around or I’m in public. Really vile stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hesitate to embelish my limited vocabulary with colorful words and phrases in normal conversation. But not like this. I think I’m just venting, but I’m curious about the opinions of other dopers. Professional opinions are quite welcome. 😉 Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![Freiheit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e8c25b/32.png) [@Freiheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freiheit)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/2 "2004-01-28T01:22:18Z")
Well, you can control yourself while in public, right? If so, (in my non-professional opinion) no problem. (do you find it exhausting if you do have to supress it in public?) Do you worry that sometime you’ll lose control while around others? ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/3 "2004-01-29T00:31:36Z")
You’re probably just venting, but since it bothers you enough to ask, why not see a therapist once or twice to discuss it if you have the insurance/money/other means to do it? You know, kind of like that mole on your back you wonder about, you’re just about certain it’s nothing, but you should have it checked out anyway. Or something like that. Sure, we can tell you it’s nothing, but what do we know? ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/4 "2004-01-29T00:34:05Z")
It’s not a matter of controlling myself in public, it simply doesn’t happen then. I’m a very peaceful guy, and I rarely lose my temper. Most things just don’t seem that important. In fact, my calmness (and patience) often pisses other people off. I do have buttons, but you have to press them pretty hard, and often. Excuse me, I gotta go kick the shit outta my vacuum cleaner. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/5 "2004-01-29T00:47:19Z")
I do the same thing when I’m alone, I go OFF with a string of profanity like Chris Rock stricken with Tourette’s. Doesn’t mean you’re OK, of course. But you’re no more disturbed than me. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/6 "2004-01-29T02:57:23Z")
Pretty simple, take the beer test If after tossing down a couple you want to throw shot glasses at people then you have a problem. If you go around saying “I love you man” then you are a normal person. Everybody gets honked off at something, as long as you don’t take it out on other people/pets and you aren’t causing yourself harm then you aren’t out of control. I have always had a short fuse with inanimate objects. My feeling is that they should either work, or not. “In between” really gets me going. I once folded my keyboard in half after a day’s work was wiped out. Obviously I couldn’t do that at work. Best $20 I ever spent. It’s certainly a worthy goal to want to better manage your anger. That’s normal part of self-improvement. Otherwise you would be walking on water and everybody would be asking you for stuff. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/7 "2004-01-29T03:30:22Z")
I’m a bit the same way. Calm. Always. Once in a while though, I will vent. Only when I’m by myself. Never break anything. Just cus like a sailor. Usually at plumbing fittings (I’m putting an addition on). I know at that point, that I have had enough, I probably fucked up, and I need to shut down for the day. Do you dance when something goes right? Don’t forget to let yourself dance too. That can be done in front of anyone. At work, one “Oh shit” can cancel out 2 “ata-boys”. For your real life, away from work, it works the other way. Dance whenever you can. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/8 "2004-01-29T03:33:06Z")
I used to do this, mainly when playing computer games or using a computer. Sometimes I express it in a Jim Carrey like way. I had this ability, when losing my temper, to hold it until I found some way of releasing it that wasn’t too damaging (expect to me). Like punching a wall or something. ---
**Author:** ![raizok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4491bb/32.png) [@raizok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raizok)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/9 "2004-01-29T06:53:39Z")
Sounds to me like you need to be chemically medicated for the rest of your life. _passes you the bong_ COUGH COUGH ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/10 "2004-01-29T08:51:42Z")
If you’re losing it at _things_ you’re still in the safe zone, **mangeorge**. Of course the standards have degraded badly lately, what with computer harrasment, drive-by shootings and random violence. It stills feels pretty oogy to diddlybopper through everyday life but suddenly sink into over unintended fury bubbling up through the cracks. Very disconcerting, that. I don’t have an answer, and woefully mistrust most pop-psych solutions. Speaking only for myself, avoid your inner child like the plague. My Id won’t bear examining so other peoples’ selfish intrusions aren’t any prettier, so screw that. Delving into causes usually just amouts to raking up middens. Unless you’re deeply committed to forensics, fergit it. Feeling that much anger in the first place is horrible but it’s a reality check right there, y’know? Maybe you can figure out ways to vent off the primordial stew that work for you. For me it’s music, peaceful silence at home, long walks, choosing my reading material with an eye toward hope or just doing mundane things. As my seeminly unsympathetic but wise father told me, “Get your mind off yourself and do something.” Move the body for a while and let the mind take a rest. Something as stupid as a sorted sock drawer or weeded garden can snap things back into focus. Gad, that sounds banal. Good luck, though, and stop beating yourself up for being fed up with all the wrongness around you. Veb ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/11 "2004-01-29T14:28:21Z")
Others have said it different ways, but I will add my voice - if you know in your heart or head that there is a chance you could “lose it” at a person in an inappropriate manner, check it out. If you drink or do other things that might loosen inhibitions and increase the chance of that, check it out. Otherwise, chalk it up to venting and make sure you have good outlets for that kind of venting… My $.02 ---
**Author:** ![DaPearl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@DaPearl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaPearl)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/12 "2004-01-29T20:38:19Z")
> [@raizok](#): > > Sounds to me like you need to be chemically medicated for the rest of your life. > > _passes you the bong_ > > COUGH COUGH 4 out 5 Doctor’s recommend **raizok** ’s treatment, along with 20000 cc’s of Doritos. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/13 "2004-01-29T21:03:22Z")
Ummm, is that really the worst thing you can come up with that would qualify you as dangerous? No, man. No, you’re not dangerous. Until you’ve: -Thrown your car keys over several neighbors’ fences in order to deny someone whom you are arguing with access to the car -Smashed dishes you were drying while arguing with someone in the kitchen -fantasized about harming the family members of people who have wronged you (real or imagined) -had extremely violent dreams involving people who have wronged you (real or imagined) -destroyed objects of value to you because you were angry, or -cut or burned yourself to make your physical pain match your mental pain, you really have nothing to worry about. I mean, I’m not dangerous and I’ve done all of the above. So, no worries, man. You’re cool. ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/14 "2004-01-29T22:16:40Z")
I would also vote “nothing wrong”. I once lost it on my old nintendo and kicked it hard enough to break the cover off the game loader. And I’ve put my fist through a few doors in my youth. I vent a lot in the car with my GF (well, she vent’s with me just the same 🙂 ). I still swear at games that don’t go my way but I don’t break stuff (my computer is far too expensive to break!). The worst I do these days is trash CDs that don’t work by snapping them in half while swearing to the CD gods… **DaPearl** : LOL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/15 "2004-01-29T22:27:57Z")
When you start losing it and cussing like a sailor, do you feel really angry? Or are you just using really harsh language? I do the same thing, but when I swear profusely at some minor irritation I don’t feel particularly upset. It’s more that cussing extravagantly feels good every now and then, but I don’t want people to think I’m really furious when I’m not, so I tend to only do it when I’m in the car or playing computer games. But if you feel really furious, then you might be suppressing your emotions too much the rest of the time, and it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist, just to help get a handle of what’s going on so you don’t feel out of control. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/16 "2004-01-30T00:12:20Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > I’m a bit the same way. > > Calm. Always. > > Once in a while though, I will vent. Only when I’m by myself. Never break anything. Just cus like a sailor. > > Usually at plumbing fittings (I’m putting an addition on). > > I know at that point, that I have had enough, I probably fucked up, and I need to shut down for the day. > > Do you dance when something goes right? > > Don’t forget to let yourself dance too. That can be done in front of anyone. > > At work, one “Oh shit” can cancel out 2 “ata-boys”. For your real life, away from work, it works the other way. Dance whenever you can. Oh yes, I dance. And not just sit-dance. I _get up_ and _dance_. Probably not something you’d want to see, though. 😛 I sing too. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/17 "2004-01-30T16:23:03Z")
> [@badmana](#): > > The worst I do these days is trash CDs that don’t work by snapping them in half while swearing to the CD gods… > > **DaPearl** : LOL!!! Careful with that. My friend almost lost his eye when a piece of plastic got lodged in there when he snapped a CD in half. The little pieces go flying everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/18 "2004-01-30T16:47:14Z")
The Human animal is inherantly dangerous. 'Tis the nature of the Beast. But you’re probably no worse than the rest of the Pack. So, unless you’ve actually _done something_, I’d say don’t sweat it. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/19 "2004-01-30T17:01:29Z")
**Ghanima** Is three out of six bad? As to the OP. I was very the same sort of person, 'till I had me some of that talking cure. I had trouble expressing my ‘anger’ at small things. Even if it was something like ‘Hey, help me put away the laundry.’ I couldn’t say that or get mad that she didnt’ help put away the laundry. So anger would just build and build and I had to take it out someplace. Usually alone and on computer generated enemies. I’ve learned to simply ask people to do what I want them to do, when I want them to do it. I’m not pushy about it. I’m just asking for the help I need, help that I freely give to others. You see, I just expected people to be as helpful or as considerate as I naturally am. But some people are idiots. Or maybe they were raised by wolves. Of course that doesn’t explain how my own siblings, who were raised by the same parents that raise me, seem to have the manners of a goat in heat. NOOOOOOooooooooo, they just do what ever the hell they want! Was I the only child taught ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, or am I the only person who frickin remembers to say them? HUH? OUCH! Something stung me! Hey! What’s this dart in my botommm… ---
**Author:** ![grayhairedmomma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/47e85d/32.png) [@grayhairedmomma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grayhairedmomma)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-dangerous/226361/20 "2004-01-30T17:11:10Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > It’s not a matter of controlling myself in public, it simply doesn’t happen then. I’m a very peaceful guy, and I rarely lose my temper. Most things just don’t seem that important. In fact, my calmness (and patience) often pisses other people off. I do have buttons, but you have to press them pretty hard, and often. > Excuse me, I gotta go kick the shit outta my vacuum cleaner. 😉 I have an older brother somewhat like you. I love him dearly but the disconnect between his “public” persona and his rages at home are really unsettling. He doesn’t direct his frustration at people but even watching someone lose control so much that they are going around yelling and cursing and breaking inanimate objects is scary. He has lost at least two girlfriends that I know of because of this - even though he didn’t do it when they were around. The thing is, they couldn’t know 100% that he would never do that around them or eventually to them. And who wants to deal with that?