# Am I Experiencing Nostalgia or Fear of the Future?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-experiencing-nostalgia-or-fear-of-the-future/720603>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 22, 2015, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-experiencing-nostalgia-or-fear-of-the-future/720603 "2015-05-22T17:09:50Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2015, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-experiencing-nostalgia-or-fear-of-the-future/720603/1 "2015-05-22T17:09:50Z")

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My parents are gone-my mother passed last December. Recently, I went to Cape Cod to open my parent’s summer home-in which we spent many happy summers. I am also making plans to retire, and will likely leave the state I’m in. I started feeling a bit sad, knowing that i will probably never see this place again (once I leave)-my brothers will keep the house. But the prospect of packing up and leaving for good is a bit frightening. Still, life goes on-I suppose i should treat this as another adventure. Do you sometimes wish that life could go one…as it did when your parents were alive?

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**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\
**Post date:** [May 22, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-experiencing-nostalgia-or-fear-of-the-future/720603/2 "2015-05-22T17:41:24Z")

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I lost my father 32 years ago, my mother 15 years ago. While losing my mother turned out to be a growth experience for me, yes, I do sometimes wish my life could go on much the way it was with her still in it.

I think we often believe that, once we reach adulthood, nothing much else is going to change in our life. I know I once believed that. It seemed to me that childhood and adolescent was for growing and discovering oneself and adulthood was about picking a path and living it unwaveringly. You can imagine my surprise to discover that the things I was so sure would be permanent – jobs, relationships, homes – were in fact always in a state of change.

Though you haven’t asked for any advice, I will offer a little: You are experiencing both the loss of your last parent and your upcoming retirement, which is its own kind of loss. It is normal and expected to have a wide range of emotions, some which might not make much sense. Be kind to yourself and take your time. You’ll figure it out.