# Am I farting holes in my underwear? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 29, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971 "2001-03-29T14:25:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/41 "2001-06-13T22:45:33Z")
**Sue Duhnym** beat me to it… “Anus Ground Zero” would be an excellent band name. Perhaps I should have my video-producer friend make a mock documentary of the band (he already did one about a band called “Johnny Vomit and the Heaves”, a parody of Buddy Holly). Anyway… the ass of my underpants doesn’t wear out, but the crotch sure does. That’s probably half because I have fat thighs (friction) and because more moisture gathers there (fat thighs make lotsa sweat). I think it’s the moisture… and it probably isn’t caused by your farts. You ever notice if your butt in general gets sweaty if you stay seated for a long period of time? That moisture would probably gather right in the center of your butt… the aforementioned and greatly-vaunted Anus Ground Zero. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/42 "2001-06-13T23:31:05Z")
In a normal sitting posture, the left butt cheek pulls the fabric of the BVDs outward & to the left. The right butt cheek pulls the fabric outward & to the right. The weakest point is the area of maximum stretching–the area over the crack & anus. Just a little scratching of this area could easily tear the stretched material. ---
**Author:** ![waxteeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@waxteeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waxteeth)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/43 "2001-06-14T03:51:27Z")
It’s funny; oh man it’s so funny. The title, the replies, the theories. Anus ground zero? 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/44 "2001-06-14T04:22:48Z")
Oh, man, I realize I’m replying to a hijack here, and I apologize, but…those briefs that msc75 mentioned above? At [http://thesmokinggun.com/patent/ergonomic1.shtml](http://thesmokinggun.com/patent/ergonomic1.shtml) ? They’re actually really comfy. For those with ‘sit and crush’ issues, they perform as advertised. So rethink that snort of derision, gentlemen. The company is called e2u. ---
**Author:** ![F-Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c0e974/32.png) [@F-Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F-Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/45 "2001-06-14T13:05:19Z")
Of course you get holes in your briefs around ground zero. We men scratch our asses. The fact that we do this without noticing accounts for the fact that the holes seem to appear from no-where. I think that if we were to be in female company ALL the time, we wouldn’t indulge in such behaviour, allthough this isn’t to be concidered conclusive because we usually sease farting as well in their company. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/46 "2001-06-14T15:02:13Z")
I don’t appear to have this problem. I examined the last three pairs that I wore (they were still stuck to the wall where I had thrown them) and I didn’t see any strange holes where none had existed before. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/47 "2001-06-14T15:28:16Z")
**Zette** , When I saw the threadspotting teaser, I totally thought it was going to be the shitting your pants thread. My first thought was “oh, God, now EVERYONE’s going to read my poopy pants story.” But no. They get to read my farting and thong-wearing post instead. Jesus, I’ve got to quit being so honest. ---
**Author:** ![DVD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@DVD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DVD)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/48 "2001-06-14T16:18:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mojo filter \* > > You know when you take a blade of grass, hold it tight in front of your mouth and blow across it? You know it makes that whistling noise? Yeah, that’s it! Now I’m freakin’ picturing a gal farting across the string of some thong drawers. > \*\* As a teenager, I had no idea that a musical instrument might have a G string, so on hearing of Bach’s “Air on the G string” I thought of the item of feminine attire made famous by Gypsy Rose Lee, and whiled away many hours wondering precisely what Johann Sebastian had in mind. Now I know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ACappellaCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@ACappellaCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ACappellaCat)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/49 "2001-06-14T21:02:02Z")
Tansu, I have the same issue with menstrual blood bleaching my underpants…I also experience it if I’ve had a day of heavy non-menstrual discharge. Pretty gross. Leave the house in vibrant color, come home in odd tie-dye… However, the only wearage issue I ever have is separating from the waistband. I suspect that it’s a scratching/moisture combination. ---
**Author:** ![Sharrongreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Sharrongreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sharrongreen)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2001, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/50 "2001-06-14T23:44:35Z")
See, the funny thing is, you probably think I’m kidding. But seriously, he’s sitting in the same room as I write this and I don’t think he knows I know about this. Needless to say, I was disturbed to find that he’s shared the rapid deterioration of his buttocal coverage accessory with the entire world before me. I hadn’t observed the problem, but then he does his own laundry. I will be morbidly curious now to observe his underwear degradation. If I find out anything interesting that he hasn’t shared (and it seems to me he’s shared MORE than enough already) I’ll let you know. I do have to point out that I was even more disturbed to read the varied and highly convoluted dissection of underwear which followed (ANTS? OXIDIZING MONTHLYS? WTF?!) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/51 "2001-06-15T03:20:39Z")
I’m going to cast a vote for shoddy materials. While scratching probably worstens the problem, I don’t think it’s the sole cause. Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed that my panties tend to develop holes in front, above the crotch. Most of them start out as runs, then get somewhat bigger. If that happened to a guys undies, and he scratched near a run, he’d end up with a bigger hole. And it’s not just underwear that’s made more shoddily, socks too. I’ve bought socks twice as often as usual over the past year or two, since the stupid things quickly develop holes in the toe area. Anyone know if Hanes and/or fruit of the loom have changed grades of cotton within the last couple of years? ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/52 "2001-06-15T10:33:26Z")
I am relieved to discover that I’m not the only woman with odd bleaching properties. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/53 "2001-06-15T14:54:23Z")
[http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1002,53%7E46949,00.html](http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1002,53%257E46949,00.html) Filtered underwear fights flatulence "He and his wife, Arlene, 57, who suffers from Crohn’s disease, a form of inflammatory bowel syndrome, were lying under the covers when she let go a bomb. “I’m laying in bed with her, sort of suffering silently,” he said. Out of the silence came determination. Something had to be done. More than six years later, Buck Weimer has a new invention: Under-Ease, airtight underwear with a replaceable charcoal filter that removes bad-smelling gases before they escape. Weimer received a patent in 1998. The undies are made from a soft, airtight, nylon-type fabric. Elastic is sewn around the waist and both legs. The removable filter - which looks similar to the shoulder pads placed in women’s clothing - is made of charcoal sandwiched between two layers of Australian sheep’s wool." etc ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/54 "2001-06-15T16:56:59Z")
Just picking a nit here, in the name of fighting ignorance: > [@](#): > > Crohn’s disease, a form of inflammatory bowel syndrome That definition is incorrect. It’s not a form of IBS, it’s a serious disease. Here is a short explanation from the Crohns and Colitis foundation ([www.ccfa.org](http://www.ccfa.org)): Crohn’s disease is a serious inflammatory disease of the gastrointestinal (GI) tract. It predominates in the intestine (ileum) and the large intestine (colon), but may occur in any section of the GI tract. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/55 "2001-06-15T17:39:58Z")
Here’s a link [http://www.under-tec.com/](http://www.under-tec.com/) to the site for the “filter-equipped” underwear ---
**Author:** ![Waldo666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Waldo666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waldo666)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/56 "2002-03-31T03:53:17Z")
Hey, while we’re on the subject of thongs, I’ve got one for you. If someone was wearing a thong and they pooped, would the turd just split in two and squeeze out like a knife through a banana? That would sure be an interesting sight… Heres the names of some bands that i found funny… They’re real bands! Poopshovel Penis Flytrap Cece Peniston Poopiehead My bandmates and I are still trying to think of a good name for our comedy-techno group, so if you guys have any more band names (Anus Ground Zero???) then keep on posting them!!! ``` -Waldo 666 ``` ---
**Author:** ![Kamelion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8baadc/32.png) [@Kamelion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamelion)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/57 "2002-12-07T06:13:42Z")
Waldo, you are SICK. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/58 "2002-12-07T06:18:08Z")
[Altered Beast god] Rise from your grave!!! Zombie thread!!! [/Altered Beast god] ---
**Author:** ![SC\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@SC\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SC_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/59 "2002-12-07T06:55:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by msc75 \* > \*\*What’s worse is skid marks generated by farting only. > What’s up with that? > \*\* From [http://www.smellypoop.com/farts.html](http://www.smellypoop.com/farts.html): > [@](#): > > **Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes it?** > Judging from what I see when I do the laundry, I’d say that the answer to the first question is definitely yes. > As for the causes, we must remember that what we call “fart” and what we call “poop” are just end-members of a continuum. That is, we can have a pure fart, or a pure poop, or anything in-between, depending upon the admixture of the two. > If a sample consists mostly of poop with only a small fart component, you get such things as jet-propelled bowel movements and spongy, floating fecal masses (you know, the ones that refuse to be flushed down the toilet – they keep popping back up). > If the sample consists mostly of fart with only a small poop component, you get what is known as “skid marks” or “fart art.” These can also result from inadequate wiping, but the shape of the stain is different in the two cases. Inadequate wiping leads to elongate marks parallel to one’s crack, usually with well-defined edges, whereas fart art is generally more circular and has an air-brushed look. > Fart art is most likely to occur if (1) a person is suffering from diarrhea, (2) the person is trying too hard to fart, and (3) the person mistakenly perceives the pressure against his sphincter to be gas pressure rather than liquid pressure. Again, that last situation is most likely to occur if the person is afflicted with diarrhea. ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/60 "2002-12-07T07:15:09Z")
This is one crazy funny thread! I love you, teeming millions! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971.md?page=4)