# Am I farting holes in my underwear? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 29, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971 "2001-03-29T14:25:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Haunted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/898d66/32.png) [@Haunted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/81 "2009-10-18T11:56:56Z")
My favorite thread EVER used to be: How Much Does a Turd Weigh? Now it’s this one. My panties are not holey. Sometimes I wear g-strings. The string parts seem to be holding up well. I don’t fart much since I changed my diet. It’s true. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/82 "2009-10-18T13:21:44Z")
Hey **Quasi** , have you ever read the thread by the guy wondering if his tropical fish might enjoy snacking on his sperm? That was a pretty good one, too. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/83 "2009-10-18T14:16:37Z")
> [@F-Dutchman](#): > > Of course you get holes in your briefs around ground zero. We men scratch our asses. The fact that we do this without noticing accounts for the fact that the holes seem to appear from no-where. > > I think that if we were to be in female company ALL the time, we wouldn’t indulge in such behaviour, allthough this isn’t to be concidered conclusive because we usually sease farting as well in their company. This is your first post in over 8 years !!!. To tell us that men scratch their asses ? I don’t have the same problem as **Rickjay**. Before my shorts get to that point my dog manages to pull them out of the hamper and completely remove the AGZ. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/84 "2009-10-18T16:37:59Z")
I’ve never had this problem, but the more I think about it I’m convinced that “ground zero” is the area of maximum movement of the fabric, mainly from walking. As you walk, the fabric covering each cheek clings to the skin, due to friction. The “ground zero” fabric is pulled one way, then the other, with no friction to hold it in place. So that’s the area that receives the maximum wear and tear. Plus, of course, the “fart factor,” (another band name). Some fabrics can withstand this stress more than others, so simply changing brands might be the solution. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/85 "2009-10-18T17:02:39Z")
I’m so proud. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/86 "2009-10-18T17:06:29Z")
> [@aenea](#): > > each and every male I have ever known has the same problem. I don’t have this problem. My underwear have always torn first just below the waistband, and never at all at anus-ground-zero. I am thin and don’t exude gas, just for a point of comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/87 "2009-10-18T18:27:21Z")
> [@WarmNPrickly](#): > > My underwear wears out in the crotch presumably from my huge package, though possibly it could be from walking. A beautiful, albeit punnish, user name-post combo. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/88 "2009-10-18T18:42:00Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I’m so proud. Future Dopefest conversation - “Who’s that?” “Oh, that’s the guy who farts holes in his underwear.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/89 "2009-10-19T07:33:18Z")
The first joke I ever heard: Q. What’s the sharpest thing in the world? A. A fart. It goes through your pants without making a hole. Well it was funny when I was six years old. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/90 "2009-10-19T08:29:18Z")
One possibility: Do you get a lot of wedgies? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Piranha\_Brothers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aca169/32.png) [@The\_Piranha\_Brothers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Piranha_Brothers)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/91 "2009-10-19T08:48:12Z")
Well, the solution for this problem is crisp clear, innit? Simply stop wearing underwear. What’s so hard about that? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/92 "2009-10-19T11:11:08Z")
> [@The\_Piranha\_Brothers](#): > > Well, the solution for this problem is crisp clear, innit? Simply stop wearing underwear. What’s so hard about that? Underear is cheaper than trousers. ---
**Author:** ![Vorpal\_Blade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9de0a6/32.png) [@Vorpal\_Blade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vorpal_Blade)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/93 "2009-10-19T15:08:46Z")
> [@SC\_Wolf](#): > > The anatomical term for this area is _perineum_. Or “taint”. ---
**Author:** ![Baby\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@Baby\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baby_Driver)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/94 "2009-10-19T23:39:38Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Sounds like a punk sort of band, doesn’t it? No, no. _Funk_. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/95 "2009-10-20T01:14:17Z")
Okay, the reason I love this thread is not _only_ because it makes me laugh, but because I _relate_ to it! I have random _holes_ in my FOTL’s, and it isn’t because of bleach, because we don’t _use_ it on my colored (I don’t wear white) undies. I _still_ think farts become _trapped_, and even if they _aren’t_ corrosive, \*some \* kind of damage occurs. I think what is needed, is a hermetically sealed (R.I.P., Ed McMahon) chamber, somehow “air-tightly” hooked to a guy’s (or gal’s) asshole, a camera rolling time-lapse and just _see_ what’s going on. If holes begin to appear, I think we can safely assume that _that_ part of the underwear is too weak to withstand a fart, and file a class-action suit, being that \*we \* are not causing this to occur. Thanks Quasi ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/96 "2009-10-20T02:30:36Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > This is your first post in over 8 years !!!. To tell us that men scratch their asses ? > > I don’t have the same problem as **Rickjay**. Before my shorts get to that point my dog manages to pull them out of the hamper and completely remove the AGZ. Did you notice the post you quoted was 8 years old? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/97 "2009-10-20T02:56:03Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Hey **Quasi** , have you ever read the thread by the guy wondering if his tropical fish might enjoy snacking on his sperm? That was a pretty good one, too. Linky? 😉 Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![xash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c6cbf5/32.png) [@xash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xash)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/98 "2009-10-20T13:09:02Z")
A blast from the past, if ever there was one. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/99 "2009-10-22T23:18:13Z")
I just wanted to pay tribute to the first ever post to make me spew, and also wanted to “further encourage” any scientific research in that direction. Meanwhile, random holes still do appear in **my** undies’ bottoms while the rest of the undergarment remains intact. Scientifically Yours, Quasimodem 🙂 (who is just having a bit of a lark! (as it were!))😃 ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971/100 "2009-10-23T00:56:05Z")
> [@Chinaco](#): > > This is kindof gross, but I’ve had a problem with ANTS eating the crotch out of my panties (the dirty ones). Good lord! When we were kids, we would go to the basement to change into our bathing suits (because that’s where the washer and dryer and clothes lines for hanging up wet stuff were). And being kids, we often shucked our clothes and let them lay there on the basement floor. Our basement had ::shudder:: water bugs. I’m not even sure exactly what kind of insect they were. They were big and black and shiny. (And this is WV, not Florida.) Anyhoo, my mom told us the water bugs would eat our panties if we left them on the basement floor. I later assumed that was just a horrible tale to make us pick up after ourselves. An insect boogeyman, as 'twere. Ants eating the crotch out of your panties??!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: ::faints dead away:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-farting-holes-in-my-underwear/59971.md?page=6)