# Am I having an affair? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 10, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426 "2010-01-10T20:50:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/21 "2010-01-10T23:15:46Z")
Ah, yes, yet another thread whose title made me say, “If you’re asking, the answer is yes.” Upon reading, suspicion confirmed. Yes. > [@](#): > > There are no romantic intentions on the part of either one of us. You say this as if it matters. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/22 "2010-01-10T23:19:34Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > It may not be an affair, but it is damned stupid. Seriously, why not go to a sperm bank? She prefers Direct Deposit. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/23 "2010-01-10T23:28:57Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I believe in many places such a contract would be unenforceable, as support from te parent is a right of the child, and the mother cannot give up the right for the child. There are specific exceptions to this for anonymous sperm donors, which do not include you. Could mom be contractually bound not to disclose the father as long as she was not asking for government assistance? Produce copy of contract with dads name removed/redacted? Granted, in the grand scheme of things…sounds like a big whopping scam for child support. Yes you are having an affair unless perhaps you run a buisiness called “Prodaddy Impregnation Services” If you do, are you hiring? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/24 "2010-01-10T23:31:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Am I having an affair? General Principle–If you have to ask this question, the answer is YES! ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/25 "2010-01-10T23:37:42Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Even WITH his wife’s permission, this whole thing is skeevy, if true. This situation isn’t negative if it’s doing a really good friend of both you and your wife a HUGE favor, but this is a stranger who advertised for a “donor” on Craigslist, of all places. Skeevy. If true. Or even better…married men will be more easy to blackmail for minimal support later. Especially since she is probably working on 4-5 guys at a time. Sue bio dad for support, then hit up the other 3-4 other guys for an extra couple hundred a month or so to “not have to go file for support and destroy your marriage.” Lather rinse, repeat with next child. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/26 "2010-01-10T23:38:24Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > I wonder if he is unable to, because of course he has never actually been married (probably never seen a live woman naked before) and is just trying to get some good ol’ fashoned controversy started on the SDMB, just like so many of his kind before him… I always assume SDMB theoretical situations are based on either a novel someone’s writing or an old Ann Landers column someone remembered. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/27 "2010-01-10T23:52:13Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > I always assume SDMB theoretical situations are based on either a novel someone’s writing or an old Ann Landers column someone remembered. This guy MUST be pretty special, after all he was chosen from a pool of over 200!!! men. Seriously, I should have just stayed out of this, because ALL someone like this wants is controversy; either validation or condemnation is fine, as along as it’s is some kind of attention, then their goal has been met. By me posting anything, (even to point out that all of this is certainly below a seventh-grade level fiction) essentially rewards the OP, and has me playing right into its hands. Others may enjoy this kind of game, but I have already given this thinly-veiled musterbation opera too much time already, which I should know better than… ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/28 "2010-01-10T23:56:47Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > This guy MUST be pretty special, after all he was chosen from a pool of over 200!!! men. Oh yeah well out of the millions of people in this country, Dr. Akeem Biobaku Ph.D C.R.P. selected ME! to helm him get over 31 million dollars out of nigeria. Pool of 200, piffle. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/29 "2010-01-11T00:11:34Z")
Just did a bit of research, and apparently making withdraws at sperm banks can be fairly expensive. So perhaps the OP’s Midnight Lady is just thrifty. 'Cause, you know, birthing and raising a kid is super cheap. Even so, if her goal was to find an economical sperm donor, then she really should have the OP jizz in a cup and then turkey baste herself. So long as the transfer is within minutes, it shouldn’t hurt sperm viability at all. She’d avoid all the hourly hotel room rates and the wrinkled clothes. But maybe > [@drachillix](#): > > She prefers Direct Deposit. _golf clap_ ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/30 "2010-01-11T00:23:00Z")
Just wanted to add my two cents. I wouldn’t do anything like that in a million years. It is interesting that the OP was chosen from a group of 200 men. [Rafe Hollister on The Andy Griffith Show](http://www.liketelevision.com/liketelevision/images/lowrez/andygrafe.gif) does not look all that special to me. ---
**Author:** ![Zhen\_ka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zhen\_ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zhen_ka)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/31 "2010-01-11T00:41:30Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Or even better…married men will be more easy to blackmail for minimal support later. Especially since she is probably working on 4-5 guys at a time. > > Sue bio dad for support, then hit up the other 3-4 other guys for an extra couple hundred a month or so to “not have to go file for support and destroy your marriage.” > > Lather rinse, repeat with next child. I totally saw this on a very special episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent! ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/32 "2010-01-11T01:11:14Z")
As far as I know, you can’t legally opt out of legal responsibilities for a child unless another adult adopts said child and takes them on for you. The mother can of course say she doesn’t know who the father is, and then there’s nothing to be done, but yah. Sounds like a con. On both your parts. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/33 "2010-01-11T01:52:48Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > She prefers Direct Deposit. Post of the week. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/34 "2010-01-11T02:03:40Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Even WITH his wife’s permission, this whole thing is skeevy, if true. This situation isn’t negative if it’s doing a really good friend of both you and your wife a HUGE favor, but this is a stranger who advertised for a “donor” on Craigslist, of all places. Skeevy. If true. Exactly. Even if your wife knows about it, it’s an affair of sorts(just one your wife knows about). Have you told you wife? ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/35 "2010-01-11T02:04:40Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > She prefers Direct Deposit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/36 "2010-01-11T02:05:19Z")
Gee, you are making multiple attempts the old-fashioned way and having a lot of fun with it…yeah, affair. Oh, and out of 200 guys available on Craigslist, she decides to go with you, a guy she knows, instead of someone more anonymous? Ok… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/37 "2010-01-11T02:53:31Z")
This isn’t ringing true for me, either. I suppose a single woman who just wants a baby, not a boyfriend could go after married men, but Occam’s Razor rules in favour of the sperm bank. What about diseases from all the unprotected sex? As far as I know, sperm bank sperm will have been tested within an inch of its potential life for diseases. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/38 "2010-01-11T02:59:04Z")
She’s probably taking birth control behind his back. (I use the third-person pronoun because he hasn’t returned.) ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/39 "2010-01-11T03:07:43Z")
> [@Zhen\_ka](#): > > I totally saw this on a very special episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent! Sure it wasn’t SVU? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426/40 "2010-01-11T03:37:11Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Sure it wasn’t SVU? Well _I_ feel violated. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-having-an-affair/524426.md?page=3)