# Am I killing my husbands dreams? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 19, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-killing-my-husbands-dreams/510693 "2009-09-19T04:06:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 62
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-killing-my-husbands-dreams/510693/62 "2009-09-20T23:01:23Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > My husband makes a point of not lying to me either. If I ask him if my butt looks big, he’ll say: “Yes, but I love you anyway”. It sounds to me like you both may be laboring under the misconception that obstinate “truthfulness” is a key to a successful marriage rather than the base poison it actually is. [There was a discussion here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11283145) not too long ago on this subject: > [@What Does It Mean When People Say Marriage Takes a Lot of "Work"?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-people-say-marriage-takes-a-lot-of-work/501036/5): > > No, marital communication is not just opening your mouth and spouting off the truth. Almost directly the opposite, in fact. For me, that is work. > [@What Does It Mean When People Say Marriage Takes a Lot of "Work"?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-people-say-marriage-takes-a-lot-of-work/501036/6): > > Yes. For me, not almost the opposite, but – stating the necessary parts of the truth in a very diplomatic and caring manner – that is huge work. > [@What Does It Mean When People Say Marriage Takes a Lot of "Work"?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-people-say-marriage-takes-a-lot-of-work/501036/7): > > Yes. The important part of communication is listening, not talking - and sometimes listening to what isn’t said also. That takes a lot more effort than flapping ones gums. --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-killing-my-husbands-dreams/510693)._