# Am I living with an alcoholic? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 17, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385 "2014-07-17T18:29:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/21 "2014-07-17T20:12:59Z")
Wow he seems just like my dad. Never eats but once a day, always has a can in his hand, keeps a backup case in the garage (and keeps some at my house so he can drink when he’s at my house). Never seen him drink any other beverage - except a glass of milk with dinner. Dad is indeed a high functioning alcoholic, and he does get drunk. I don’t know what this means in respect to your housemate. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/22 "2014-07-17T20:14:39Z")
> [@Batistuta](#): > > Hah no, he actually works long hours. … he rarely wakes up before noon. Ellipses mine. What the kind of job does he have where he works long hours but gets to sleep in until noon? I suppose my biggest problem would be if he was spending so much on beer (stella ain’t cheap) that he was having trouble meeting other expenses. But you don’t seem to be complaining about that. I’m of the persuasion that if he’s not causing problems for himself and not causing problems for anyone else, it’s not a problem, and I would stay out of it if I were you. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/23 "2014-07-17T20:21:48Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > I would agree with this assessment. > > This discussion is all sounding a lot like recent ones about sex (oh, yeah, he penetrated my vagina with his penis, but we didn’t have “SEX”), or homosexuality (oh, yeah, I’m a male who likes to have sex with other males, but I’m not a “HOMOSEXUAL”). > > C’mon, the roommate drinks all day every day - we have a word for that. German? Seriously, drinking 5 beers in a 16-hr period is not drinking “all day”. Drinking all day would be more like drinking non-stop throughout the day. ---
**Author:** ![Batistuta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58956e/32.png) [@Batistuta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batistuta)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/24 "2014-07-17T20:29:54Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Wow he seems just like my dad. Never eats but once a day, always has a can in his hand, keeps a backup case in the garage (and keeps some at my house so he can drink when he’s at my house) Does he live in London? I think we might be onto something 😃 > [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > Ellipses mine. > > What the kind of job does he have where he works long hours but gets to sleep in until noon? Maintenance job at a big shopping centre. For some reason he works from 5pm until 1am, 6 days a week. > [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > I’m of the persuasion that if he’s not causing problems for himself and not causing problems for anyone else, it’s not a problem, and I would stay out of it if I were you. Oh yes, absolutely. My intention was never to get in his way (I’m sure his soon-to-be wife would do a better job of that). I was just wondering whether he would be classed as an alcoholic or not. I knew very little the disease, it seems 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/25 "2014-07-17T21:29:17Z")
If your roommate’s drinking is bothering you that much, you can always check out an [Al-Anon](http://al-anon.alateen.org/) meeting, but it just sounds to me like your roommate drinks more than you do. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/26 "2014-07-17T21:55:08Z")
[Alcoholism is progressive](http://psychcentral.com/lib/alcoholism-and-its-treatment/000270) and I’m assuming he’s rather young? Under 30? So he may be moving along the sometimes-slow progression from habitual drinking to being utterly dependent on alcohol. Or, maybe, he just likes the taste and the very mild buzz. 🙂 I think drinking one beer every few hours would make be feel sleepy and lacking in energy. My father was definitely a high-functioning alcoholic. He was mentally sharp and employed as a teacher his entire life, had friends, travelled a lot, had hobbies, was athletic - he was really into bicycle riding. I saw him mildly buzzed at times but never out of control or sloppy drunk. However, he drank every day, and all day if he didn’t have to work or otherwise stay sober. Once he started drinking, he wouldn’t quit until he passed out. But it caught up with him at age 64; he died of liver cancer. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/27 "2014-07-17T21:56:02Z")
> [@Batistuta](#): > > Exactly, but when you spread out 5 beers over your 16 waking hours **every single day of the week** , I think you have a problem. Hence my motivation for starting the thread: I don’t know if my housemate’s problem is called ‘alcoholism’ or something else Why would it be any different if you substituted “Coke Zero” or “Mountain Dew” or “Hershey Bar” or “Fudgesicle” for beer in that statement? Why does it being a low-proof alcoholic drink completely change the judgement? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/28 "2014-07-17T22:08:39Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Why would it be any different if you substituted “Coke Zero” or “Mountain Dew” or “Hershey Bar” or “Fudgesicle” for beer in that statement? > > Why does it being a low-proof alcoholic drink completely change the judgement? Because none of those things give one an alcoholic buzz? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/29 "2014-07-17T22:14:25Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > So exactly what is a “functional alcoholic”? I put that term in the above camp of “Alcohol is bad, and I know it, so if you drink you have a problem, and if there’s no problem then that’s your problem” thinking. > > Either you’re an alcoholic, meaning ethanol is in the driver’s seat some significant part of your week (if not day), or you’re still in charge regardless of your BAC, and you’re thus not an alcoholic. I dismiss the in-between “yes, you’re functional but you’re still fucked up” notions. Bullshit. I know a functional alcoholic – it’s definitely not an “either or thing”. And no, this is not “everyone who ever has a drink is an alcoholic”, because I’ve had plenty of drunks in my family. Trust me, there’s a big difference. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/30 "2014-07-17T22:20:39Z")
> [@Busy\_Scissors](#): > > I’d assume anyone who habitually drank stella with their breakfast was an alcoholic, on first impressions. They might not be of course, but morning boozing is such a prominent element of alcoholism that it would point that way. Showing up to work / college after a few bevvies would prob be considered alcoholic behaviour by mainstream concensus. Or living any time in our history when beer and small beer [and ale and cider and wine] were the default daily drink … if the beer isn’t causing anybody trouble, why not let him continue? And what is his work schedule? Does he work? I used to pop open a bottle of wine and drink it with breakfast, but I also used to work from 11 pm to 730 am, and was doing the equivalent to popping open an after work beer … ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/31 "2014-07-17T22:32:34Z")
> [@Batistuta](#): > > . . .wakes up before noon. But yes, first thing after waking up is beer and a slice of toast (ie “breakfast”). . . . That is so completely medieval, it’s capering with a fool’s bladder on a stick and singing ‘hey, nonny, nonny.’ Although if you want to be completely period, it has to be breakfast beer, with less hopps and, I think, less alchohol. If you drink the dregs, you get your B vitamins. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/32 "2014-07-17T22:32:46Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Bullshit. I know a functional alcoholic – it’s definitely not an “either or thing”. > > And no, this is not “everyone who ever has a drink is an alcoholic”, because I’ve had plenty of drunks in my family. Trust me, there’s a big difference. This exactly. > [@aruvqan](#): > > Or living any time in our history when beer and small beer [and ale and cider and wine] were the default daily drink … if the beer isn’t causing anybody trouble, why not let him continue? > > And what is his work schedule? Does he work? I used to pop open a bottle of wine and drink it with breakfast, but I also used to work from 11 pm to 730 am, and was doing the equivalent to popping open an after work beer … You didn’t bother reading beyond the OP, apparently. Your questions have been asked and answered. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2014, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/33 "2014-07-17T23:52:54Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Bullshit. I know a functional alcoholic – it’s definitely not an “either or thing”. > > And no, this is not “everyone who ever has a drink is an alcoholic”, because I’ve had plenty of drunks in my family. Trust me, there’s a big difference. I have considerable experience with drunks, in and out of my family. I don’t dispute that there are alcoholics who are “functional” in that they get up, go to work, mow the lawn etc. while hammering on their livers. I do reject the sweeping use of the term to include anyone who drinks but does not end up in the gutter as a result - to put it more plainly, I reject about 95% of the AA crowd’s unscientific, anecdotal, scripture-driven nonsense that puts anyone who sips on the “alcoholic” spectrum even if they’ve never had a hangover. ---
**Author:** ![FluffyBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@FluffyBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FluffyBob)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/34 "2014-07-18T13:04:08Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > [Alcoholism is progressive](http://psychcentral.com/lib/alcoholism-and-its-treatment/000270) and I’m assuming he’s rather young? Under 30? So he may be moving along the sometimes-slow progression from habitual drinking to being utterly dependent on alcohol. Or, maybe, he just likes the taste and the very mild buzz. 🙂 I think drinking one beer every few hours would make be feel sleepy and lacking in energy. > > My father was definitely a high-functioning alcoholic. He was mentally sharp and employed as a teacher his entire life, had friends, travelled a lot, had hobbies, was athletic - he was really into bicycle riding. I saw him mildly buzzed at times but never out of control or sloppy drunk. However, he drank every day, and all day if he didn’t have to work or otherwise stay sober. Once he started drinking, he wouldn’t quit until he passed out. But it caught up with him at age 64; he died of liver cancer. This. If he is not an alcoholic now, he will eventually make his way there unless he changes his behaviour. At some point, if not already, he will not be able to stop, he will not be able to moderate, and he will get drunk. This might take a long time. It took my dad until he was 67. Can you do anything about this? **Not really**. You can tell him that you are concerned (you should). He will assure you that he is not, beer doesn’t have any significant negative effects in the way that he consumes it (and it probably doesn’t - right now) and not to worry. If this affects you all you can do is separate yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/35 "2014-07-18T13:24:10Z")
> [@Batistuta](#): > > Hah no, he actually works long hours. > Interesting way of putting it. He drinks beer with breakfast and beer with lunch, doesn’t eat anything apart from that. I assume a high proportion of his daily calories come from beer. > > He doesn’t really drink anything first thing in the morning because he rarely wakes up before noon. But yes, first thing after waking up is beer and a slice of toast (ie “breakfast”). > > But to be honest I think he would be OK if he couldn’t drink beer. That’s never happened (he always has an unopened crate in his room, presumably for emergencies) but I don’t think he’d make a scene about it So, he holds down a job, pays his bills, maintains relationships, would probably be OK if he wasn’t able a beer, and doesn’t really cause problems with his drinking. His example might not be one to emulate but I don’t know if I’d call him an alcoholic. His lifestyle does sound unhealthy, but I don’t know if it’s any worse than a smoker, or someone who’s always eating fast food and never eating vegetables. If one of my close friends was like your housemate I might try to talk to them about it, maybe jokingly ask them if they ever drink anything but beer, and mention it doesn’t sound that healthy to me. I wouldn’t have a full intervention or anything like that; I’d just say my piece and let it go. But for someone I was just friendly with, not close friends, like it sounds like you are with your housemate, I wouldn’t do anything unless things got worse and problems started happening. ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/36 "2014-07-18T14:14:13Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > C’mon, the roommate drinks all day every day - we have a word for that. Thirsty? All we have to go on is the OPs fixation on dude’s odd beer drinking habits, which I agree are special, but I don’t believe we’re edging into ‘problem’. So the guy really likes beer. Some people really like Mountain Dew. The talk of high-functioning-drunk is kind of out there. No grown-ass man who has ever had a drink before is going to get _drunk_ off of three beers taken over a two hour period. That’s just not going to happen. A six pack over the course of the day is not even worth mentioning, aside from the fact that it’s every single day. That part is a little concerning, but if you (OP) don’t think the guy is going to go apeshit if you take it away from him, I wouldn’t be losing sleep over it. Maybe, “Woah buddy, take a break every once in a while. Jesus.” is a good place to start. I don’t know. It could be a precursor to something worse, but it doesn’t sound like dude is out of control or even approaching it. If he’s just pounding them one after another until he falls asleep on the floor or something, yeah, it’s an issue. To me it seems like he prefers the taste of beer over other options. I can’t fault him for that. I’ll take a beer over a soda any day. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/37 "2014-07-18T14:56:08Z")
I bet he could quit any time he wanted, yeah? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/38 "2014-07-18T15:09:11Z")
Maybe he just likes the taste? Medically, he likely is an alcoholic. I suspect if he replaced his beer with water he would experience withdrawal. I would call him a functional alcoholic, but probably not to his face. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/39 "2014-07-18T15:53:40Z")
One thing about alcoholics is that they may be drinking significantly more than you see. There’s the public drinking and then there’s the private stuff. What made me think of this was you saying that he always has a case in his room. I’m not saying he is doing that, just that it is a common pattern. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2014, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385/40 "2014-07-18T16:38:53Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Maybe he just likes the taste? I never drink anything I don’t like the taste of, and I drink mixed drink so infrequently it’s cause for hilarity among family and friends when I do. I am an adamant “drink it straight or don’t drink it” proponent. (If you don’t like the taste, or if you’re drinking cheap, nasty-tasting stuff, you are almost certainly doing it for bad reasons.) On taste reasons alone, I’d love to wash most lunches down with a beer. Tending to be a bit zomboid in the afternoons anyway, I can’t tolerate the added soporificity of even a light hit of ethanol. > [@](#): > > Medically, he likely is an alcoholic. I suspect if he replaced his beer with water he would experience withdrawal. I would call him a functional alcoholic, but probably not to his face. Part of what bothers me about this debate is that [light use of] alcohol is treated as being different from a dozen other mild, physiologically-affecting consumption. A person can be a cranky bitch if she doesn’t get her fifth Dr Pepper of the day, or runs out of candy just after lunch, or whatever, and there’s no special term or notice or concern other than mild snarkiness about their habit. Someone who sips beer all day, probably never coming close to the legal BAC, on the other hand - woooo, sirens and yelling and pulpit-thumping and doomcrying that They’re A Goddamn Alcoholic, By Thor. It’s the influence of AA, continuing the bullshit propounded by the temperance era, and Hollywood’s wholesale acceptance of the model as how alcohol dependence works and must be regarded and dealt with, and IMVHO it’s done far more harm than good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-living-with-an-alcoholic/693385.md?page=3)