# Am I missing some aspect of the Try Guys/Ned Fulmer scandal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 4, 2022, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723 "2022-10-04T21:21:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/41 "2022-10-06T19:06:26Z")
Also worth keeping in mind that the victims might not be either of the people in the relationship, but the other employees who perceive bias and an unfair work environment. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/42 "2022-10-06T22:46:23Z")
I’m guessing that they were all friends with his wife also. Plus the lying and the power imbalance thing. > Each of them has his own distinct, lovable personality, but none more than Fulmer. He was the “Wife Guy”—the member whose entire persona was wrapped up in how much he loved his wife. This side of him could be seen as early as the [intro video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKgMyt-RbJ4) to their channel and throughout many videos over the years. > > Fulmer’s wife, Ariel, has been in multiple Try Guys videos, and the couple co-authored the _Date Night Cookbook_ and co-hosted a podcast called _Baby Steps_. The Try Guys even made a video about the birth of their first son. I’ve not heard of any blowback on the associate producer he had the affair with. From pictures she didn’t seem like she was a bunch younger than him. He’s 35, she graduated college in 2014, so about 30. I’m surprised they could hide it from the other three guys, being together on set all day long. People aren’t usually that good at covering up workplace affairs. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/43 "2022-10-06T22:53:26Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > People aren’t usually that good at covering up workplace affairs. Well they were making out in public, I’d say that is definitely not a good cover up. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/44 "2022-10-06T22:58:03Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Well they were making out in public, I’d say that is definitely not a good cover up. It wasn’t on set tho, right? IIRC some fan got a pic of them kissing at a restaurant. They needed to go farther out of town or wear disguises. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/45 "2022-10-06T22:59:19Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > It wasn’t on set tho, right? IIRC some fan got a pic of them kissing at a restaurant. They needed to go farther out of town or wear disguises. I guess he underestimated his own celebrity status. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/46 "2022-10-06T23:01:11Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > I guess he underestimated his own celebrity status. Apparently so. The one time you don’t want to be recognized by your adoring fanbase… ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/47 "2022-10-06T23:27:35Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > > [@planetcory](#): > > > > I assume they’re also friends with his wife. Why’s it hard to believe they could be legitimately angry? > > Anger on a personal level is understandable. If they made a video saying “He’s out, we’re pissed” I wouldn’t have had a second thought. Instead we get a publicist written, lawyer approved message that takes a legal consensual relationship and treats it more serious than the Warren Commission. Him being out makes sense. The need to be upfront with the audience is understandable. A video that makes it seem like a Harvey Weinstein level offense feels over the top to me. There is no right or wrong that’s just my personal feelings when watching the video. Good gravy. The guy CHEATED ON HIS WIFE, who was friends with all the rest of them. He did it with AN EMPLOYEE in the workspace, which is very damn toxic. His WIFE AND KID, who are friends with everyone, are devastated. Cheating on your spouse is really, really wrong. You’re out of your damn mind if you think anything esle. Ned broke his wife, his kid, and his friendship with the guys. They’re damn pissed. And hurt. To them, its incredibly huge. Its the end of their world, and their business, as they see it. They waited an appropriate time, said what they needed to say in a legal matter to avoid future legislation on this, and are now figuring out how they go forward. Its tragic, all due to Ned not keeping it in his damn pants. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/48 "2022-10-06T23:37:30Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > Also worth keeping in mind that the victims might not be either of the people in the relationship, but the other employees who perceive bias and an unfair work environment. A thousand times this. In most of the many “victimless” office romances I’ve observed, this is the most toxic part. I have been asked to “rethink” two performance reviews in my life. Both times my subordinate was sleeping with my boss. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2022, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/49 "2022-10-06T23:51:57Z")
> [@Noelq](#): > > Good gravy. > > The guy CHEATED ON HIS WIFE, who was friends with all the rest of them. He did it with AN EMPLOYEE in the workspace, which is very damn toxic. His WIFE AND KID, who are friends with everyone, are devastated. > > Cheating on your spouse is really, really wrong. You’re out of your damn mind if you think anything esle. Personally, I agree. But the reality is people generally don’t care. Dozens of celebrities, maybe hundreds, have cheated on their spouses without it ending their careers. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2022, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/50 "2022-10-07T01:50:53Z")
Yes, but it depends on the type of career. “I’m a macho horndog who sleeps with as many women as I can, and I make damn good movies about macho men.” “I’m a sensitive, caring guy, who makes my loving relationship with my wife a key part of my business model; oh, and I’m porking a pretty employee in my spare time.” ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2022, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/51 "2022-10-07T02:07:48Z")
> [@Noelq](#): > > > [@Loach](#): > > > > > [@planetcory](#): > > > > > > I assume they’re also friends with his wife. Why’s it hard to believe they could be legitimately angry? > > > > Anger on a personal level is understandable. If they made a video saying “He’s out, we’re pissed” I wouldn’t have had a second thought. Instead we get a publicist written, lawyer approved message that takes a legal consensual relationship and treats it more serious than the Warren Commission. Him being out makes sense. The need to be upfront with the audience is understandable. A video that makes it seem like a Harvey Weinstein level offense feels over the top to me. There is no right or wrong that’s just my personal feelings when watching the video. > > Good gravy. > > The guy CHEATED ON HIS WIFE, who was friends with all the rest of them. He did it with AN EMPLOYEE in the workspace, which is very damn toxic. His WIFE AND KID, who are friends with everyone, are devastated. > > Cheating on your spouse is really, really wrong. You’re out of your damn mind if you think anything esle. > > Ned broke his wife, his kid, and his friendship with the guys. They’re damn pissed. And hurt. > > To them, its incredibly huge. Its the end of their world, and their business, as they see it. They waited an appropriate time, said what they needed to say in a legal matter to avoid future legislation on this, and are now figuring out how they go forward. > > Its tragic, all due to Ned not keeping it in his damn pants. Yes there was an affair. Like probably 50% of the people you know (whether or not you personally know about the cheating). It hurt his family and friends. Not minimizing how his wife might be reacting. This is about the very public response of public face of the company. There can be levels of outrage and condemnation. Not everything is the worst thing that’s ever happened. Reaction videos are popular for some reason. Consider this my reaction video. When I watched it I felt the tone fit talking about a rape, molestation or murder not an affair. Don’t like my reaction? I’ll probably get over it eventually. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2022, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/52 "2022-10-07T02:42:22Z")
At least one source I saw said that she was married too. Anyway, I don’t understand what the big deal is about this either, although I wasn’t a regular viewer of “The Try Guys”. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2022, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/53 "2022-10-07T02:46:59Z")
When the story broke, or at least when I first heard about it, I had honestly wondered if he was a serial rapist, or a child molester. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2022, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/54 "2022-10-07T15:49:47Z")
> [@Mighty\_Mouse](#): > > I have been asked to “rethink” two performance reviews in my life. Both times my subordinate was sleeping with my boss. Hopefully not the same boss. Though I guess two separate bosses aren’t better. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2022, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/55 "2022-10-07T17:58:12Z")
I’ve been a manager for 32 years. In some cases with companies that had challenging cultures for various reasons. I’ve pretty much seen it all. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2022, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/56 "2022-10-09T11:55:01Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > At least one source I saw said that she was married too. No, she is (was?) engaged but not married. She is also, from one article I read, still working for the company. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2022, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/57 "2022-10-09T12:34:22Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > She is also, from one article I read, still working for the company. Awkward. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2022, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/58 "2022-10-09T13:42:03Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > Awkward. I imagine extremely so. But firing her, or even suggesting she leave, would probably open them up to the legal liability they’re worried about. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2022, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/59 "2022-10-09T14:48:50Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Yes there was an affair. Like probably 50% of the people you know (whether or not you personally know about the cheating). It hurt his family and friends. Not minimizing how his wife might be reacting. This is about the very public response of public face of the company. There can be levels of outrage and condemnation. Not everything is the worst thing that’s ever happened. > > Reaction videos are popular for some reason. Consider this my reaction video. When I watched it I felt the tone fit talking about a rape, molestation or murder not an affair. Don’t like my reaction? I’ll probably get over it eventually. ⁢ It’s not about whether we like your reaction. It’s about how that reaction seems to lead you to not understanding why they reacted this way. You apparently think of cheating as being a “legal, consensual relationship.” But the whole concept of cheating is that the spouse (or other partner) doesn’t consent. That’s literally what makes it wrong. You also seem to have ignored most of the other confounding factors, like how the guy cheated with someone he was in a position of power over. Or how it was all within a company that has branded itself as these wholesome family men. The man himself is heavily branded on being a good, caring husband, making him a huge hypocrite. And there is apparently the possibility of legal trouble. To understand why they reacted this way, you have to consider how their audience would react. If you think of cheating as a consensual act that half of all people do, it won’t make sense why they reacted that way. I would argue that @noelq’s reaction is far more typical. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2022, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723/60 "2022-10-09T15:02:48Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > > [@Loach](#): > > > > Yes there was an affair. Like probably 50% of the people you know (whether or not you personally know about the cheating). It hurt his family and friends. Not minimizing how his wife might be reacting. This is about the very public response of public face of the company. There can be levels of outrage and condemnation. Not everything is the worst thing that’s ever happened. > > > > Reaction videos are popular for some reason. Consider this my reaction video. When I watched it I felt the tone fit talking about a rape, molestation or murder not an affair. Don’t like my reaction? I’ll probably get over it eventually. ⁢ > > It’s not about whether we like your reaction. It’s about how that reaction seems to lead you to not understanding why they reacted this way. You apparently think of cheating as being a “legal, consensual relationship.” But the whole concept of cheating is that the spouse (or other partner) doesn’t consent. That’s literally what makes it wrong. > > You also seem to have ignored most of the other confounding factors, like how the guy cheated with someone he was in a position of power over. Or how it was all within a company that has branded itself as these wholesome family men. The man himself is heavily branded on being a good, caring husband, making him a huge hypocrite. And there is apparently the possibility of legal trouble. > > To understand why they reacted this way, you have to consider how their audience would react. If you think of cheating as a consensual act that half of all people do, it won’t make sense why they reacted that way. > > I would argue that @noelq’s reaction is far more typical than the reactions here. The ones here have that “aliens trying to figure out those silly humans” vibe. You really think I’ve made it through adulthood to close to old age without having any experience with cheating or relationships? That’s very condescending. Of course I understand. If you want to compare life experiences with people actually in our lives and not strangers online I’m comfortable in betting I have a lot more experience than you. And let’s not change the definition of consent. That’s also condescending to those who have been victims. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-missing-some-aspect-of-the-try-guys-ned-fulmer-scandal/972723.md?page=4)