# Am I not welcome here? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 29, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149 "2015-05-29T21:50:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![protoboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@protoboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/protoboard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/1 "2015-05-29T21:50:39Z")
It seems like everyone here hates my guts, just saying. Should I quit the forum? ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/2 "2015-05-29T21:57:13Z")
Don’t quit, but be a little more aware… ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/3 "2015-05-29T22:01:20Z")
I’m sure I’d hate you more if I remembered who you were. Could you refresh my memory? ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/4 "2015-05-29T22:05:41Z")
Ok, I looked back at some recent posts and I see you retold that old, old joke about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac, jerk. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/5 "2015-05-29T22:10:57Z")
No idea who you are. I’ll now know you as the person crying for attention in the pit. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/6 "2015-05-29T22:12:04Z")
> [@protoboard](#): > > It seems like everyone here hates my guts, just saying. Should I quit the forum? You can quit contributing, but you can’t, like, really quit and be expunged from the record. Of course you are welcome here. (To answer your question.) Are you a dick or something? I don’t know anything about you. ---
**Author:** ![protoboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@protoboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/protoboard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/7 "2015-05-29T22:14:37Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > You can quit contributing, but you can’t, like, really quit and be expunged from the record. Of course you are welcome here. (To answer your question.) > Are you a dick or something? I don’t know anything about you. No but I’ve met little but hostility on this forum, for my “rant” topics. Especially the one about Portland, people there sure can’t stand it if you don’t think their precious city is the bees knees in absolutely every single way. Of course, considering the sacrifices in comfort you have to make to live there you BETTER think it’s the bees knees if you wanna justify living there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/8 "2015-05-29T22:15:15Z")
well, I hadn’t noticed you before, either, but you seem awfully whiny and sensitive, so maybe this isn’t a good place for you, honestly. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/9 "2015-05-29T22:16:58Z")
Don’t sweat it. I’m fairly universally ignored here and not well-respected, but I persist nonetheless for the company of a handful of posters. Stick around if you like what you see, if you don’t then split. Keep in mind, even if you’re right and reasonable, The Pit will draw trollery on you where the same posters in another forum would be more amicable. You can’t win in here, apart from seeing whether folks might be concealing impatience in another forum, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![protoboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@protoboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/protoboard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/10 "2015-05-29T22:18:40Z")
> [@Truman\_Burbank](#): > > well, I hadn’t noticed you before, either, but you seem awfully whiny and sensitive, so maybe this isn’t a good place for you, honestly. I’m actually pretty thick skinned but when you are perpetually treated like crap, eventually you just wanna bitch about it. Not just on Straight Dope but pretty much everywhere. Like the Canadian border guards one time told me I couldn’t enter Canada for no reason other than wanting to ruin my day. Actually that happened twice even though i was well prepared for the trip. I’ve been treated like ass my whole life for no good reason at all, and then called a whiner when I speak up about it. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/11 "2015-05-29T22:21:50Z")
Well, you seem to be whining. Can’t say if that makes you a whiner or not. Have you been posting stupid shit, or are we all out to get you for no reason at all? . ---
**Author:** ![protoboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@protoboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/protoboard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/12 "2015-05-29T22:26:41Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Well, you seem to be whining. Can’t say if that makes you a whiner or not. Have you been posting stupid shit, or are we all out to get you for no reason at all? > . So a bully is above a whiner in your opinion? I think it’s worse to be cruel than to merely be annoying. If I have been annoying, I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/13 "2015-05-29T22:30:50Z")
I’m not sure why you’re putting words in my mouth. But sure, if you have evidence of bullying, feel free to share. Got a linkity-link or three? ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/14 "2015-05-29T22:32:07Z")
> [@protoboard](#): > > I’m actually pretty thick skinned but when you are perpetually treated like crap, eventually you just wanna bitch about it. Not just on Straight Dope but pretty much everywhere. Like the Canadian border guards one time told me I couldn’t enter Canada for no reason other than wanting to ruin my day. Actually that happened twice even though i was well prepared for the trip. I’ve been treated like ass my whole life for no good reason at all, and then called a whiner when I speak up about it. Remember the saying (which I know I have butchered) - if one person hates you it may be their fault; if everyone hates your it’s almost certainly yours. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/15 "2015-05-29T22:33:36Z")
Protoboard, this is a big board with thousand of members. If you came here looking to be the center of attention, you’re not going to succeed. Quit or stay, it’s up to you. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/16 "2015-05-29T22:33:55Z")
> [@protoboard](#): > > … Like the Canadian border guards one time told me I couldn’t enter Canada for no reason other than wanting to ruin my day… . That kind of sounds like something Neil from The Young Ones might say. If you do a lot of complaining, I can see how people would tire of the “Poor Me” routine. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/17 "2015-05-29T22:35:31Z")
> [@protoboard](#): > > No but I’ve met little but hostility on this forum, for my “rant” topics. Especially the one about Portland, people there sure can’t stand it if you don’t think their precious city is the bees knees in absolutely every single way. Nah, we have no problem with people not liking Portland. it’s not for everyone. In fact, many people here would be perfectly happy if others liked it less and didn’t all move here. What does get old is people constantly complaining about how everyone around them is a jerk without stopping to look at the one common factor in all their interactions. I don’t think anyone on the board hates your guts. I certainly don’t. If you want to rant here, go for it. Lots of us do. But if you expect to be able to do it without anyone calling bullshit, then it’s not the best place. ---
**Author:** ![protoboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@protoboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/protoboard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/18 "2015-05-29T22:38:17Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > That kind of sounds like something Neil from The Young Ones might say. If you do a lot of complaining, I can see how people would tire of the “Poor Me” routine. Okay, I’ll just smile while people treat me badly for no reason at all and learn to enjoy it. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Fallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Fallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fallen)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/19 "2015-05-29T22:39:17Z")
But we cannot know if people “hate” you, or even dislike you. It may be that you dislike you, and are perceiving X in every interaction. Your perceptions may be distorted based on isolated experiences. You might wanna post some example links, as suggested (I don’t see an experience with Canadian border guards as a good example, nor necessarily when complaining about, well, anything (city or other)). Humans are, as one author recently put it, cognitive misers. We want to spend the least time figuring out X and don’t want to put in the effort to ensure we’ve analyzed someone properly … and that includes ourselves. 🙂 Suggested reading: “No One Understands You and What to Do About It.” (I hear another, supposedly more stupid title was considered and discarded. I don’t think this is a good title given the content, but I gather it’s considered “catchy”.) ---
**Author:** ![protoboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@protoboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/protoboard)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/20 "2015-05-29T22:40:11Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > Nah, we have no problem with people not liking Portland. it’s not for everyone. In fact, many people here would be perfectly happy if others liked it less and didn’t all move here. > > What does get old is people constantly complaining about how everyone around them is a jerk without stopping to look at the one common factor in all their interactions. > > I don’t think anyone on the board hates your guts. I certainly don’t. If you want to rant here, go for it. Lots of us do. But if you expect to be able to do it without anyone calling bullshit, then it’s not the best place. How exactly am I being a jerk? I’m not the one attacking people for expressing an opinion. Not that you are either, but I notice even when I post totally non-whiny things here I usually get snarky and judgmental answers. Lots of prejudice for my age too, which I don’t get since I’m 25, not 15. Not that it would be justified to bash a kid either. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149.md?page=2)