# Am I not welcome here? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 29, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149 "2015-05-29T21:50:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/101 "2015-05-30T13:04:27Z")
> [@protoboard](#): > > Good point. Even the atheists here – hell, maybe ESPECIALLY the atheists, have a very Calvinistic and hardass attitude in this country. What a whiny cry-baby. > [@](#): > > In America the only path towards acceptance and forgiveness of your faults is success. Utter manure. > [@](#): > > Even someone like Bill Cosby, who is a serial rapist is more accepted here than a kind hearted homeless person because Americans love a “winner” and hate a “loser”. First off, you do not know that Cosby is a serial rapist. You don’t have actual evidence of that. And there’s this nifty thing in America called presumption of innocence. That’s not acceptance. > [@](#): > > And they hate nothing more than a **sore** loser. No, most folks I’ve noticed hate whiny cry-babies. > [@](#): > > I personally think our priorities are completely out of whack but you are right, there is really nothing I can do to change it on an individual level. I just wish I could leave this country honestly. Oh? And what country do you think would be willing to take a tool like you? > [@](#): > > Even my family has that same Calvinist hardass attitude to the point that I don’t feel comfortable around them. No doubt they’re not thrilled with your presence either. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/102 "2015-05-30T13:12:41Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > …Utter manure… “Utter manure” sometimes comes up smelling of roses… ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/103 "2015-05-30T13:15:50Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Thanks a lot, **protoboard.** Rain on my parade, why don’t you? > > I was _just_ going to post a similar thread, full of self-pity, excuses, generalizing and passive-aggressive moaning. I was going to call it, “Why Doesn’t Anybody Like Me?!” > > Now I’ll just have to have my pity-party all alone. As usual. I knew there was some reason I was continuing to read this thread. Great post, **cmyk**. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/104 "2015-05-30T13:23:35Z")
> [@mascaroni](#): > > “Utter manure” sometimes comes up smelling of roses… Only when–and this is key–when it’s spread in the proper place in the proper portions. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/105 "2015-05-30T15:15:31Z")
> [@mascaroni](#): > > “Utter manure” sometimes comes up smelling of roses… Especially in Portland. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/106 "2015-05-30T15:23:29Z")
Reminds me of a guy I knew. Tad Selfabsorbed. Also, thick skinned my ass. Thick skinned guys don’t pull passive aggressive, attention grabbing shit like posting multiple threads about how everybody is mean to them. Is anybody seriously so delusional they don’t realize the inherent contradiction in that? I guess the answer is an apparent “yes”, but it’s still hard to believe. The simple fact of life is that the vast majority of humanity doesn’t know you and have no reason to either like or hate you. That goes double for the internet where you could be who you claim or an asshole 65 year old who just likes screwing around with people. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/107 "2015-05-30T15:23:30Z")
Protoboard, I never noticed you at all before this thread. I think I clicked on one of your other threads but the op was long, so I moved on. So this thread is my first impression of you. I think you sound whiny and unhappy. This board is snarky, and as a relative newbie, I find people often don’t bother to respond to me (and maybe they don’t bother to even read my posts) but I haven’t seen much hostility. People disagree, and ask for data, but are mostly civil. It’s kind of refreshing to me compared to some other message boards I frequent. So anyway, if you are getting a lot of flack, maybe it’s you. Or maybe it’s your interpretation of things people say, when their intent may be more benign than your take on it. But you might want to do something about the whiny/unhappy thing. Maybe ask your doctor about depression? Maybe train yourself to be funny and snarky instead of whiny? Dunno, but good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/108 "2015-05-30T15:26:42Z")
Sometimes I find it entertaining when people tell me I’m being an idiot - I just ignore the people who are not entertaining when they tell me I’m an idiot. If I felt any different, I would probably not post. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/109 "2015-05-30T15:30:06Z")
> [@mascaroni](#): > > “Utter manure” sometimes comes up smelling of roses… > [@puzzlegal](#): > > Especially in Portland. In that case, maybe more skunky than rosy. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/110 "2015-05-30T15:47:02Z")
Dude, quit the forum when you tire of it, not when assholes are rude to you. I can assure you most posters do not “hate your guts,” they don’t have the time or the inclination. And as with anything, CONSIDER THE SOURCE! For example, if a crazy lesbian tells you that you need therapy, as has happened in this thread, (I don’t want to use her screen name but her initials are **tapu** ), consider yourself in good company because last week it was I whom she diagnosed with mental illness. Yet in the SAME thread she needed very vocal and public help to install new programs on her computer to HIDE HER OWN THREAD from HERSELF because going back to it caused her SUCH PAIN but she still COULDN’T STOP HERSELF. Absolutely batshit crazy. But that’s what you get on a message board. Also, be aware that WE CAN ALL READ, not just those who respond. If you use a hyperbolic simile, such as “like how Jews worship Israel,” and a couple bomb-throwers start screaming “ANTI-SEMITE!”, rest assured that the vast majority of readers on these boards understand that you didn’t write anything hateful. Jews support Israel, Jews love Israel, Jews do NOT worship Israel, but all educated people knew what you meant, and it wasn’t “anti-Semitic.” But it was still an ill-advised simile, so few people were going to jump in to defend it–that doesn’t mean everyone hates you for being a Jew-hater. That means two people expressed their recreational outrage and scores more couldn’t care less. Ignore the people calling you names and telling you to get therapy; the Silent Majority supports you. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/111 "2015-05-30T15:51:46Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > That goes double for the internet where you could be who you claim or an asshole 65 year old who just likes screwing around with people. Hey! 😃 Sounds like our friend has gone from being a self-pitying failure in Portland to being a self-pitying failure in Eugene or Salem or wherever he’s now inflicting himself. Far from responding with “Hey man, don’t you dare diss Portland!”, everyone has basically tried in the past to respond with suggestions for improving his lot, until we all realized that the guy is just a fucking whiner with no ambition to improve how he relates to the world around him. I’ve lived in Portland for five years and have no brand loyalty other than I think it’s a great place to live, especially compared to Anchorage. My circumstances are polar opposite from \*\*Proto’\*\*s, of course. He wishes he could live in another country; as someone who lived overseas for many years, I invite him to give it a shot at the first opportunity. He’ll find out just what being an outsider can _really_ feel like. I’ve also lived and traveled in different parts of America and found that people will pretty much treat you as you treat them (other than in Boston, of course 😃 ). By getting involved with the community (it’s free!) we’ve met people here who have the same interests, and have become friends with many of them. That, of course, requires some level of personal effort, but apparently it’s easier to just post a bunch of whiny shit on a message board instead. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/112 "2015-05-30T16:04:20Z")
I have no useful advice for the OP, since I’m universally loved on this board. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/113 "2015-05-30T16:05:36Z")
I’ve found that the degree of unwelcomedness a poster here feels is almost always proportional to the amount of ignorance that poster spreads. It’s not fun having to constantly debunk shit from people who think they know much more than they do, or who are unaware of their own prejudices. ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/114 "2015-05-30T16:09:02Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Now I’ll just have to have my pity-party all alone. As usual. Sounds like you’ve got the cyans. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/115 "2015-05-30T16:09:05Z")
**protoboard,** can you be more like **Bryan Ekers?** He’s universally loved on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/116 "2015-05-30T16:09:40Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Dude. What the fuck. > > _I offered to take you to a goddamn strip club._ Oh. I thought you meant AA meetings. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/117 "2015-05-30T16:10:37Z")
> [@Teuton](#): > > Sounds like you’ve got the cyans. You have no idea. Some days, it feels like my cyans are darker that my key-color. PITY ME! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/118 "2015-05-30T16:12:34Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Oh. I thought you meant AA meetings. The only reason to bring singles to an AA meeting, is to tip your bartender after the meet. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/119 "2015-05-30T16:16:02Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > And as with anything, CONSIDER THE SOURCE! For example, if a crazy lesbian tells you that you need therapy, as has happened in this thread, (I don’t want to use her screen name but her initials are **tapu** ), consider yourself in good company because last week it was I whom she diagnosed with mental illness. Yet in the SAME thread she needed very vocal and public help to install new programs on her computer to HIDE HER OWN THREAD from HERSELF because going back to it caused her SUCH PAIN but she still COULDN’T STOP HERSELF. Absolutely batshit crazy. > > . Made me smile. You must think of me night and day. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149/120 "2015-05-30T16:18:46Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > The only reason to bring singles to an AA meeting, is to tip your bartender after the meet. Nah, you toss one in the basket when it goes around. If you can. No one cares if you don’t, which makes AA meetings even more welcoming than strip clubs! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-not-welcome-here/721149.md?page=7)