# Am I really an asshole? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 15, 2004, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260 "2004-05-15T10:37:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/21 "2004-05-15T18:56:54Z")
> [@sugaree](#): > > Burger King’s policy is “have it your way.” Some places will automatically slap tomato, onions, and lettuce on your burger unless you ask them not to, but Burger King will only put what you asked for on your sandwich. Just so you know. Not in my experience. I usually get a number 8 (chicken sandwich with tomato, mayo, and lettuce) with bacon because, for reasons I can’t imagine, they don’t have “chicken club” on the menu. I get a chicken sandwich with bacon, mayo, lettuce, and tomato. I’ve never had to ask for those things specifically. > **[So I was at McDonald's...](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=45085)** > > I went through the drive thru and ordered a cheeseburger with NO mustard and a medium strawberry shake. The person there reads the order back to me; a cheeseburger with NO mustard and a medium strawberry shake. Okay. So I pull to the first window to... Note: No need to post there unless you feel like bumping an ancient (3.5 year old) thread. But it’s fun to read anyway. (IMNSHO) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/22 "2004-05-15T19:13:51Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > Thanks for replying, everybody! It seems that the general consensus is that as long as I’m polite about fixing the order, then I’m not an asshole. > > But can anyone explain why my friends call me a “whiner” in these situations? It hasn’t been limited to one group of friends…people who I were friends with at work have told me the same thing at lunch. No one’s ever stood up and said, “Back off, guys. Adam asked for medium well, and he should get medium well.” > > Adam I would say that if you ask politely, there is no problem. Mistakes happen and it’s within your right to get your food as you ordered it. My experience with Special Orders: If you place the order in a casual manner, you tend to get the usual plus your request. example: me:oh! can I have extra mayo on that? The burger is the usual plus the extra mayo. If I were to order it in a meticulous manner or if I appeared to be a picky person, then you would get only what you asked for. example: me:Ok, I want the number 34 burger, but I want EXTRA mayo. And I want Pickles. Does the lettuce come shredded? If so, I want extra. But no tomato! Oh and Bacon! I want bacon! The burger will be meat, bun (because that is standard on every burger unless specified otherwise), pickles, shredded lettuce, bacon and extra mayo. You won’t get onions or mustard or pickles, even if they come on a regular burger. However… If you say that different people say this to you, maybe you should assess the food situation more carefully. If you said that it was just a couple of people saying this, I would be inclined to take it with a grain of salt. When you say that _multiple_ people state that you whine… ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/23 "2004-05-15T19:15:05Z")
um, you would get pickles on that second burger. You see how hard it is to keep up?!! ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/24 "2004-05-15T20:21:32Z")
I usually take my burgers plain, but I will sometimes have lettuce and onions on them depending on the place. Coming from that side of things I can completely understand where the Burger King folks are coming from. They gave you just what you asked for and didn’t throw anything else on. I personally hate it when I ask for a burger with lettuce and get it only to find they’ve thrown a bunch of other crap on it. That being said, you aren’t an asshole. But neither are they. The mistake was on your part, but you had every right to go up there and ask them to fix it for you. So, no problem. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/25 "2004-05-15T20:22:00Z")
A Burger King whopper comes with mayo, ketchup, lettuce, pickles, onions, tomato, a beef patty (or functional equivalent ;)), and a sesame seed bun. These standard components are never supposed to not\* come with that sandwich unless you specify that you want them deleted. Agent Foxtrot specified “with cheese, bacon, and extra mayonnaise”. He did not specify “without” anything, and is therefore justified in having the folks behind the counter correct their mistake. I am somewhat boggled at the responses that think Agent Foxtrot was asinine for insisting that the BK folks provide him with what he paid for. I am really irked (though not permanently, so don’t take it personally) that some people seem to think that AF is being anal about things when he expects to get what he paid for, rather than settling for what they gave him. I cannot abide uncooked tomatoes or onions. When I “have it my way” I specify “no tomatoes or onions, please”. The local BK hires the easily-confused, and they often get the order wrong. I have no problem with going back to the counter and asking them to correct their error. Frankly, if the folks behind the counter don’t like this, that’s too bad. If they had gotten the order correct in the first place, they wouldn’t have to make another burger. If they express any thing other than irritation at their own mistake (even a sincere “Sorry, dude” works for me), then it is the staff who are being the assholes. I want what I paid for. That doesn’t make me an asshole, it makes me a smart consumer. The same goes for Agent Foxtrot. –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/26 "2004-05-15T20:36:13Z")
I think your friends are assholes,and since they are your friends… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/27 "2004-05-15T22:04:38Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > No, **Foxtrot** ,\ “Pardon me, but our Whopper usually comes with mayonnaise, ketchup, lettuce, onion, shrimp, motor oil, sweet pickles, dill pickles, **Tommy Pickles** , kosher pickles, cheese, tomatoes, carrots, and two hard-boiled eggs. Would you like extra mayonnaise in addition to that?” or “Did you want it plain, with extra mayonnaise?” \ Too funny. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/28 "2004-05-16T00:10:48Z")
I don’t think you’re an asshole or a whiner. But I (probably like your friends) think people who order off the menu at fast-food places are a little silly. Not silly enough to avoid, or silly enough to be locked away, but a little silly none-the-less. I don’t like pickles, but I can’t imagine ordering a burger without them. I just take them off myself. For me at least, my prioirty is time. I really don’t want to wait for a special order, or wait to get it corrected. Maybe it’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/29 "2004-05-16T00:18:00Z")
I don’t get it… Why does the fact that it’s a fast food joint mean any customer is less entitled to getting what he asked for? I don’t care if I pay 5 bucks or 50, if I am paying for something, it better be what I asked for. It’s not assholish or whiney to say “I’m sorry, you misunderstood what I wanted.” By the OP’s account, they were more than willing to rectify the situation - which is as it should be. Being told that you should expect less than what you asked for is insane. Now if he complained that the cut of beef was all wrong, or that they used iceberg lettuce when romaine is so much better, I can see where he would be expecting too much. If he had stormed up there saying, “Look idiot, I didn’t want this crap, give me the crap I asked for,” that would indeed be assholish. But realizing that he hadn’t gotten what he wanted, politely addressing the situation, and getting what he wanted… well to me that just sounds perfectly reasonable. Why your friends, OP, wouldn’t get that is beyond me. Maybe they’re used to just shrugging and saying “Oh well.” Rather be construed a whiner and happy than settling for less, and being seen as a sheep. ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/30 "2004-05-16T00:23:57Z")
I once saw a 40-ish man screaming at some teenager order-taker for having the _audacity_ to put beans in his chili (yes, this was fast food). He didn’t ask for no beans when he ordered, but dammit, he owned 200 shares of stock in the company. He is the asshole. On occasion, I have done the same thing as you. One time at KFC, I was given BBQ wings, when I had asked for the boneless BBQ wings, so I politely asked for them to correct my order. IMO, as long as you don’t become indignant/rude at their mistake, things are OK, since you’re just getting what you paid for. PS: Why did they have to give you a new burger? Couldn’t they have just put the veggies on top of the old one? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/31 "2004-05-16T00:52:19Z")
No, I don’t think you acted like an asshole. If your other friends tease you only at meal time about being a whiner, I’d say that you probably don’t have a problem. If they accuse you of being a whiner about lots of things, then you might want to pick someone who will be straight with you and explore the possibility that you might be a little on the negative side. But even you you are a whiner, that doesn’t mean you’re an asshole. And even if you are an asshole sometimes, that’s not so awful, is it? Everyone has the right to make an ass of themselves sometimes. > [@](#): > > I still say, however, that by starting this thread, what he’s really looking for is external validation. He’s not actually trying to decide whether he’s an asshole. He just wants folks on the SDMB to reassure him that he’s not. Since **Agent Foxtrot** is the only authority on his motives, you can’t really know that for sure, can you? But what if if he _had_ posted it for external validation? Don’t we all go through periods when we wonder what others think of our judgments? Haven’t you done that? Is there anything wrong with that? Are we always aware of it when we seek it? When someone makes an accusation about someones motives once…and no one comments on that accusation…and he makes the same accusation again in his next post, what is his motive? Personal validation for his view? Just curious. (Or maybe I’m looking for personal validation and just don’t know it.) ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/32 "2004-05-16T01:24:16Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > But can anyone explain why my friends call me a “whiner” in these situations? Perhaps they are trying to yank your chain?? ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/33 "2004-05-16T01:50:20Z")
> [@Early Out](#): > > Upon reflection, I really was too quick to jump down **Agent Foxtrot’s** throat. Sorry. But it’s pretty clear that he’s not asking for opinions, here. What he’s really after is external validation, in which case only “not an assshole” opinions will be welcome! I wasn’t looking for external validation. If the SDMB had said, “Yes, Adam, you are an asshole. Eat what you got and be happy,” then I would start thinking about changing my habits. > [@spooje](#): > > Perhaps they are trying to yank your chain?? But as I mentioned before, it wasn’t just one group of friends. It seems, though, that people who are closer to my age (24) and/or those who have worked in restaurants are the ones more inclined to tell me to pipe down. Adam ---
**Author:** ![jastu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@jastu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jastu)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/34 "2004-05-16T03:31:43Z")
I always have a special order when I go to any fast food place. I’ve often had to return orders because they have put mayo on the burger after I have expressly requested **no mayo**. Fast food restaurant or no you have a right to get what you ordered and paid for. On the other hand though I knew someone who found fault with every meal he ordered in fast food or take away establishments, and complained aggressively until he was given a voucher for a free meal. Eventually every place within cooee knew of him and this scam and refused to give any more free meals. No you are not an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/35 "2004-05-16T04:29:19Z")
If you order something and it usually comes with certain ingredients, and those ingredients are missing, then yeah you have a right to complain. On the other hand, I have known people that always have this need to improvise their orders, now they are assholes. e.g. BK employee: Can I help you? Asshole: Yeah, I want a Whopper, but I don’t want it cooked flame-broiled like you do, I want it grilled. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/36 "2004-05-16T05:19:17Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Too funny. Ah, someone watches Rugrats. Is it just me, or does [Jack Skellington](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107688/) look like the crow-picked remains of a Rugrat? ---
**Author:** ![angelicate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@angelicate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelicate)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/37 "2004-05-16T05:39:35Z")
> [@1010011010](#): > > Hey, at least you got what you ordered (it a little too literally). > I once ordered a .25lmb w/ Cheese and _ **no pickles.** _ > I received: A bun, a piece of meat, a piece of cheese, a layer of pickles. > > I laughed and ate it. It tasted basically the same, anyway. Hmm. We went to McDonald’s once and my husband ordered a double quarter pounder with cheese and bacon. We got home and he thought his sandwich seemed thin, and he opened it up to find bread, cheese and about a half-inch stack of that weird round bacon that McDonald’s uses. No meat other than the bacon, though. I’d say the OP is not a whiner, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/38 "2004-05-16T05:43:21Z")
> [@jastu](#): > > Fast food restaurant or no you have a right to get what you ordered and paid for. Actually, no you don’t. Some places will not serve you eggs which aren’t fully cooked, for example, because the law (right or wrong) says they cannot. So, in that case, you would not have a right to get the eggs sunny side up that you ordered. In point of fact, the restaurant can serve you the food any way that they wish, within the limits of the law. Of course, if you don’t like it, you can vote with your dollar and go elsewhere, and you _do_ have the right to do that. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/39 "2004-05-16T06:19:38Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > Actually, no you don’t. Some places will not serve you eggs which aren’t fully cooked, for example, because the law (right or wrong) says they cannot. So, in that case, you would not have a right to get the eggs sunny side up that you ordered. In point of fact, the restaurant can serve you the food any way that they wish, within the limits of the law. Of course, if you don’t like it, you can vote with your dollar and go elsewhere, and you _do_ have the right to do that. Q.E.D., you’re just splitting hairs. jastu probably wasn’t even considering the possibility that what you ordered might be illegal. You’re barking at shadows that nobody else can see. –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/40 "2004-05-16T06:33:57Z")
> [@SSgtBaloo](#): > > Q.E.D., you’re just splitting hairs. Alternate response: Q.E.D., are you implying that jastu believes that a restaurant must give you exactly what you order, even when it’s illegal? “I’d like a jumbo burger with the works, ummm… a medium fries, a large diet Coke, and, um, oh, yeah! A prostitute! With big titties! To go please. And hold the mayo!” Yeah. Right. –SSgtBaloo [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260.md?page=3)