# Am I really an asshole? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 15, 2004, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260 "2004-05-15T10:37:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/61 "2004-05-17T05:02:12Z")
Ya’ know, this thread is really making me miss Burger Chef. Remember Burger Chef? The fast-food joint that invented the practice of giving a free kid’s meal to a kid who got at least one A on their report card? Burger Chef, with the famous Works Bar? I loved the works bar- they would give you basically a plain burger, with maybe a little ketchup and mustard, then you took it over to the works bar and custom designed your own burger. Those of you who are too young to remember Burger Chef missed out on a fast-food delight. When I was a little kid, Burger Chef was the default fast-food place for my family. I think the first time I stepped foot inside a McDonald’s was when I was eight, and it was the lunchtime portion of a school field trip. I don’t think I got under the Golden Arches again until Burger Chef went belly-up. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/62 "2004-05-17T05:39:13Z")
I fail to see how politely requesting a sandwich made to taste could possibly be considered whining or assholish. At most it sounded like a communication glitch. You didn’t ask for anything so out of bounds. So what if it was a fast food joint? You didn’t get angry, neither did the counter folks: no problem. Even if your friends are just ribbing you, maybe they’ll learn how to show some spine…with class. (What’s with the mindset that anybody who eats inexpensive food deserves to lick the floor?) Veb ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/63 "2004-05-17T06:11:37Z")
Generally, **TVeblen** I agree with you. Asking politely to get your order fixed does not make one a whiner or an asshole. The thing is though, I don’t know if we’re getting the full story or maybe the nuances of how this is being done. The reason I state this is because the OP has mentioned more than once that several people have said this about him, not just that one group. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/64 "2004-05-17T06:28:40Z")
I think the asshole part of the OP has been answered pretty satisfactorily, so I’ll take a stab at the second part. Getting a sandwich fixed at a fast food joint can take a handful of minutes (depending on the line) that could be spent eating. You, by going up, are potentially holding back the rest of the group since you’ll have to go up, wait in line, get your stuff fixed, come back, and then eat. You’re holding back the pack, man. That’s why they’re ribbing you. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/65 "2004-05-17T06:44:04Z")
What I don’t get is this thing of calling a burger a sandwich. To me a sandwich is slices of bread with (usually) cold fillings. A burger is a toasted bun with (mostly) hot fillings. If a burger is a sandwich, what is a sandwich? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/66 "2004-05-17T06:49:01Z")
> [@AndrewT](#): > > What I don’t get is this thing of calling a burger a sandwich. To me a sandwich is slices of bread with (usually) cold fillings. A burger is a toasted bun with (mostly) hot fillings. If a burger is a sandwich, what is a sandwich? Sandwich - Tasty things sandwiched between bread. Except for a Manwich. A Manwich is in no way a sandwich. Because a sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/67 "2004-05-17T06:50:08Z")
> [@Bad News Baboon](#): > > The reason I state this is because the OP has mentioned more than once that several people have said this about him, not just that one group. Valid point, **Baboon** , and I wondered about this too. But there seems to be a creeping feeling that anyone who eats fast food deserves the lowest common denominator, just by settling for it. I’m not sure that’s what even fast food restaurants actually want. (At least on the corporate level, leaving the counter level out of it for the moment.) “Just take whatever they throw you and run, man. You don’t deserve anything else just by being here.” I’m just saying there’s no intrinsic jerkiness in asking courteously, no matter what the common trend. The problem may be in sheepishly settling for whatever’s shoved out from the warming lights. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/68 "2004-05-17T10:47:17Z")
If I remember correctly, BK had a bacon-double-cheeseburger on their menu at one time, it DID NOT come standard with veggies. I remember I ordered one and was surprised it had no veggies, I just kind of assumed BK = the veggies. So maybe the OP’s burger did not come standard on the menu WITH veggies, that would be consistent with BK’s BDC fixins. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/69 "2004-05-17T10:57:34Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Personally, while I suppose it’s technicallyt not illegal to go and ask for another sandwich, I _do_ think it’s rather petty and self absorbed. I don’t know why people can’t just eat what they’re given. Mistakes happen. You’re not going to die if you didn’t get any lettuce on your whopper. I had to laugh, this so much reminds me of when I was a youngster. I would sit down to dinner and look my plate of food and say, “I don’t like this stuff”. Then I remember my mother taking the plate away and saying, “How do you like that?”. So yes indeed, I learned not to complain about what was served for dinner. 🙂 This is probably why I very, very rarely complain about the food I am served, anywhere. > [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I have to wonder why the OP asked for a whole new sandwich instead of just having the cook slop some lettuce and tomato onto the old one. If you’re making a sandwich at home and you go sit down in front of the tuibe and then you realize you forgot the pickle, do you throw the sandwich in the garbage and start all over? No, so why do people expect a whole new sandwich from Burger King. When did we turn into a nation of such pampered, entitled, self-important whiners? I think there are health department issues with this. I don’t think they can subject their food preparation area to your germs. > [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Spend a couple of years in a third world country and you’ll come back with a whole new perspective. Americans are some spoiled little bitches, man. I second that. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/70 "2004-05-17T14:25:06Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > Thanks for replying, everybody! It seems that the general consensus is that as long as I’m polite about fixing the order, then I’m not an asshole. > > But can anyone explain why my friends call me a “whiner” in these situations? It hasn’t been limited to one group of friends…people who I were friends with at work have told me the same thing at lunch. No one’s ever stood up and said, “Back off, guys. Adam asked for medium well, and he should get medium well.” > > Adam I see nothing wrong with what you did. However, I used to go to restaurants with a woman who would NEVER take the food as it was presented in the menu. There was a fucking song and dance for every item. Potatos…but they must be cooked for 17 minutes. Salad, hold this, and that on the side. Steak, medium-medium-rare, and you don’t prepare that with butter, do you? Blah, blah, fucking blah. It was ALL THE TIME. It’s her perogative, but she was rather tiresome to go out with. She always got what she asked for, but christallmighty already. Bring your own fucking lunch next time. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/71 "2004-05-17T14:44:00Z")
I always order my cheeseburgers with “no pickles” because they have to make a fresh order. Otherwise, I am likely to get a burger that has been pre-made and sitting under the lights for a while, and there can be a big quality issue there. And I believe there are food-handling rules that would not allow the fast-food place to just open up his burger and add the missing ingredients. Wasteful, true, but at some point in time somebody sued somebody and now we all pay. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/72 "2004-05-17T14:53:49Z")
> [@AndrewT](#): > > What I don’t get is this thing of calling a burger a sandwich. To me a sandwich is slices of bread with (usually) cold fillings. A burger is a toasted bun with (mostly) hot fillings. If a burger is a sandwich, what is a sandwich? A sandwich is anything sandwiched between two pieces of bread. The bread may be slices, or a split bun, or pita or whatever. A Hamburger Sandwich is a patty of cooked ground beef between any two pieces of bread. It is called a burger for short. Temperature of bread or filling is inconsequential. A child squished between two parents in a hug is called a Molly (or James, or Emily, or Jason) Sandwich. No calories! ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/73 "2004-05-17T22:30:43Z")
> [@Silver Fire](#): > > Not in my experience. I usually get a number 8 (chicken sandwich with tomato, mayo, and lettuce) with bacon because, for reasons I can’t imagine, they don’t have “chicken club” on the menu. I get a chicken sandwich with bacon, mayo, lettuce, and tomato. I’ve never had to ask for those things specifically. > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=45085](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=45085) > > Note: No need to post there unless you feel like bumping an ancient (3.5 year old) thread. But it’s fun to read anyway. (IMNSHO) 🙂 > [@Nametag Folks](#): > > , walking into a Burger King might be advisable before you spout off about “hey, you got what you ordered.” A burger with bacon, cheese, and extra mayo is a “Bacon Cheeseburger,” with extra mayo. A Whopper is listed separately from burgers on the menu, as Whoppers include a mass of vegetation that burgers do not. Ah, that’s my problem–I’ve never actually eaten a Whopper. At Burger King, I order a hamburger or a chicken sandwich with lettuce and mayo. But I’ve always gotten meat with that, **Silver Fire**! ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/74 "2004-05-18T04:51:11Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I see nothing wrong with what you did. However, I used to go to restaurants with a woman who would NEVER take the food as it was presented in the menu. There was a fucking song and dance for every item. Potatos…but they must be cooked for 17 minutes. Salad, hold this, and that on the side. Steak, medium-medium-rare, and you don’t prepare that with butter, do you? Blah, blah, fucking blah. It was ALL THE TIME. It’s her perogative, but she was rather tiresome to go out with. She always got what she asked for, but christallmighty already. Bring your own fucking lunch next time. I can’t even imagine trying to please someone like this in bed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/75 "2004-05-18T05:01:54Z")
I vote for “not an asshole” but then again, I expect people to read my mind and I, too, am looking for validation when I am clearly wrong. You’re paying for something, you are polite about getting it fixed… not an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/76 "2004-05-18T15:14:04Z")
> [@Johnny Bravo](#): > > Sandwich - Tasty things sandwiched between bread. > > Except for a Manwich. A Manwich is in no way a sandwich. Because a sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal. A sandwich is also NOT a “value meal”: Me: I’d like a chicken[beef,doublecheeseburger, etc.] _ **SANDWICH** _ Counterperson: Would you like the value meal? Me: :smack: What is the magical phrase I need to use in order for them to not ask me if I want a value meal? It happens everywhere! (They say that some people mean value meal when they say sandwich, but I very clearly enunciate sandwich, emphasizing it as per the above quote. Wouldnt they take a hint?) ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/77 "2004-05-18T16:03:29Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > A sandwich is also NOT a “value meal”: > > Me: I’d like a chicken[beef,doublecheeseburger, etc.] _ **SANDWICH** _ > > Counterperson: Would you like the value meal? > > Me: :smack: > > What is the magical phrase I need to use in order for them to not ask me if I want a value meal? It happens everywhere! (They say that some people mean value meal when they say sandwich, but I very clearly enunciate sandwich, emphasizing it as per the above quote. Wouldnt they take a hint?) Many places, they’re required to “upsell”. I tell them, “I want a [sandwich here] only. Thanks.” Works fairly well for me. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/78 "2004-05-18T16:38:14Z")
Here is the easiest way to handle this. If you want a sandwich without an ingredient, say “Without \”. If you want a sandwich with an ingredient added, say “Add \”. If you want a sandwich with only one or sometimes two things, and it’s easier to say just that thing instead without five different things, say “Only \”. If the sandwich you’re ordering comes standard with cheese (like a Quarter Pounder with Cheese), it is unnecessary to stipulate that you want it only ketchup and cheese. Even BK, who uses a different system than some other restaurants to do special orders will understand you if you use this method. The following things aren’t acceptable/necessary. If you want extra ketchup and mustard, etc., on a sandwich, don’t say “extra sauce.” This will confuse the person taking the order, most likely, and unless either of you clarify, you will get a sandwich with big mac/tartar sauce, etc. on it. If you don’t know what kind of liquid condiment comes on your sandwich, you shouldn’t order it. “Plain and dry” is unnecessary, and only wastes your breath. Are you an asshole? No. You didn’t get what you ordered, and wanted it right. I wouldn’t have been offended, as long as you were nice about it, and I would have had it remade, with some sort of extra apology (A pie or something) as well. McDonald’s workers are trained to be nice to people, not just out of common courtesy, but because if you never come back, we’ve lost a bunch of money. That pie helps ensure you’ll come back. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/79 "2004-05-18T17:02:33Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > If the sandwich you’re ordering comes standard with cheese (like a Quarter Pounder with Cheese), it is unnecessary to stipulate that you want it only ketchup and cheese. That’s what you think. At A&W, I get a Teen Burger (which is distinguished from the Mama Burger by the addition of cheese and bacon), with just ketchup and mustard. I have had to pick up the habit of ordering ‘A teen burger with ketchup, mustard, cheese and bacon’, because if I say ‘Teen burger, just ketchup and mustard’, they ask if I want cheese and bacon on it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260/80 "2004-05-18T17:23:33Z")
In which The Asbestos Mango has become obsessed with the Works Bar… I’ve often wondered why more fast food places haven’t adopted this way of doing burgers. It seems pretty simple. They put your dead animal flesh and cultured lactates on your burger in the kitchen, and maybe the ketchup and mustard, (these things can get a bit messy), then let the customer add their own fixin’s. I understand that Wendy’s got rid of the salad bar because people abused it, but I think this problem could be solved by having the lettuce, sliced tomatoes, onions, etc., in smaller tubs. This would also reduce waste, as you wouldn’t have big ol’ honkin’ tubs of veggies going bad out there on the floor. Seems it would be a good trade off. The additional expense of having the fixin’s out in on the floor would be offset by the reduction of food having to be thrown out because people’s orders got screwed up. Also, it might be a nice draw. A lot of folks, myself included, enjoy custom designing their own burgers. But, not an asshole. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-really-an-asshole/245260.md?page=5)