# Am I right to insist on a closed jacket? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 18, 2016, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659 "2016-06-18T02:05:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/61 "2016-06-23T00:30:44Z")
> [@](#): > > I mean, I am the parent and she is the child so if I tell her to fasten her jacket then she has to fasten the jacket. very funny sweetie. Children aren’t robots and they naturally do the exact opposite of everything their parents tell them to do. It gets worse as they get older. Just wait until she’s 13. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/62 "2016-06-23T00:34:34Z")
> [@Scottish\_Cailyn](#): > > I am a bit surprised at how many people are critical of me insisting that my daughter fastens up her jacket, I mean, I am the parent and she is the child so if I tell her to fasten her jacket then she has to fasten the jacket. Sure. You can make her fasten the jacket at this age. No one denied that. That doesn’t mean you should, though. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/63 "2016-06-23T00:40:27Z")
> [@Scottish\_Cailyn](#): > > I am a bit surprised at how many people are critical of me insisting that my daughter fastens up her jacket, I mean, I am the parent and she is the child so if I tell her to fasten her jacket then she has to fasten the jacket. > > Anyway here is what happened today after school. > > I told my daughter that she could play with a couple of friends who were staying over for dinner that they could play at the swingpark despite it pouring down with rain so I said to the girls that they must put off their shoes and jackets at the front porch when they came back. > > The girls didnt need to be asked, they automatically put on AND fastened their jackets and put the hoods up but when they came back, I noticed that all 3 had unfastened jackets which meant they were soaking so I went out to the porch and told all 3 off, I asked “why are you soaking, your jackets were fastened”?, one of the girls said “sorry, we unfastened our jackets”, I angrily said “your own parents might let you off with that but at mine if I tell you to fasten your jacket then thats what I expect ok, I didnt need to ask you which is good but I did expect you to keep them fastened, look how wet it is”. It just seems to me that you are reacting way out of proportion. You are angry at children for unfastening their jackets when you didn’t even tell them not to, and then you use the “let you off on that” like they did something wrong when there’s no reason to think they did. They’re young enough not to realize they drip and cause a mess. Try explaining to them that it makes a mess - then make them clean up the mess. Also, as others have suggested, try finding out _why_ the children are unfastening their jackets. If it’s too hot for them, then a lighter jacket might be the solution. All I get from you is “I am the Master and you will obey me.” Or read my mind when I don’t even tell you what to do/not do. ---
**Author:** ![Scottish\_Cailyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Scottish\_Cailyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scottish_Cailyn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/64 "2016-06-23T00:44:13Z")
> [@Tzigone](#): > > It just seems to me that you are reacting way out of proportion. You are angry at children for unfastening their jackets when you didn’t even tell them not to, and then you use the “let you off on that” like they did something wrong when there’s no reason to think they did. They’re young enough not to realize they drip and cause a mess. Try explaining to them that it makes a mess - then make them clean up the mess. > > Also, as others have suggested, try finding out _why_ the children are unfastening their jackets. If it’s too hot for them, then a lighter jacket might be the solution. > > All I get from you is “I am the Master and you will obey me.” Or read my mind when I don’t even tell you what to do/not do. I didnt tell them not to unfasten the jackets because I thought they would use common sense and KEEP THEM FASTENED because it was pouring down with rain!! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/65 "2016-06-23T00:49:31Z")
> [@Scottish\_Cailyn](#): > > I didnt tell them not to unfasten the jackets because I thought they would use common sense and KEEP THEM FASTENED because it was pouring down with rain!! Maybe the jackets are still too hot to be worn fastened while playing in combination with the clothes they were wearing underneath. But why are they out playing when it’s pouring down rain outside? “Don’t go outside when it’s pouring rain” seems to be the more important rule to enforce. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/66 "2016-06-23T01:01:08Z")
> [@](#): > > I didnt tell them not to unfasten the jackets because I thought they would use common sense and KEEP THEM FASTENED because it was pouring down with rain!! But it’s not common sense, really. A child that age is unlikely to think about or realize they drip and cause messes - their brains aren’t generally there yet. So from their perspective, they get wet. No big deal, doesn’t hurt anyone. Still not sure how a jacket keeps them from making a mess, though, if it doesn’t cover their legs. As Acsenray said, it can still be too hot for jackets when it’s raining. Definitely. Rain just makes it muggier sometimes. I can recall just walking from the parking deck to to my office in the rain with a jacket on once in spring/summer and deciding to not do that again because it too hot and stuffy and uncomfortable. And that was a normal-paced walk that took about 5-10 minutes. And there’s even less reason to keep it done up if it’s not raining - there’s no extra mess at all and it’s just making the child uncomfortable for no reason. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/67 "2016-06-23T01:53:57Z")
It seems to me that you’re disassociating the problem with the fuss. If the issue is that they’re dripping, tell them not to drip. If your issue is that clearly they’re wet and cold… Surely they can decide that for themselves? If it’s unpleasant to be wet and cold, they learned not to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/68 "2016-06-23T03:27:13Z")
> [@Scottish\_Cailyn](#): > > I am a bit surprised at how many people are critical of me insisting that my daughter fastens up her jacket, I mean, I am the parent and she is the child so if I tell her to fasten her jacket then she has to fasten the jacket. So why did you ask the question in the OP? Was this supposed to be a pile on against a 6-year old? ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/69 "2016-06-23T03:41:29Z")
Actually, let me dial it back a bit. I forgot that it’s your child we’re talking about. Scratch the “pile on against a 6-year old” part. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/70 "2016-06-23T10:50:27Z")
Another reason I’m pro-choice. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/71 "2016-06-23T11:37:09Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > Am I the only one who read this as “Am I right to insist on a closed **casket**?” No. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/72 "2016-06-23T16:06:56Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > No, but my mother is, most of her close relatives live in Barcelona (my Idiot Aunt, aka Mom’s sister, just moved back), I went to college there… and I do speak Catalan. I’m from Navarre but due to family history don’t speak Basque (about half my Navarrese relatives do). Now please explain to me how did you jump from a jacket in a traditional and politically-loaded Basque design to Catalonia, 'cos it’s a few handspans away with Aragon in between… Ho sento per la mala gramàtica bruta: era una cosa que va escritura en un altre fil que jo recordava d’una classe de lingüística que vaig tenir ambo un professor l’especialitat és la cultura i l’idioma català. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/73 "2016-06-23T19:59:43Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > This. Choose your battles. If she’s cold, she can fix it. If she’s not cold (and doesn’t need to keep dry), there’s no problem here. > > My job as a parent is to keep my kids housed, fed, and alive. And the middle one is shaky. Otherwise, I will offer my opinion thusly: “I’m going to wear my coat today and zip it up, because the wind is really chilly! Would you like help zipping up?” And if the kid doesn’t want to zip up, fine. If the kid needs my help, fine. Her coat zipper isn’t about survival, therefore it’s her problem, not mine. +1. Make sure she CAN fasten the jacket if she wants to. Practice with her a few times if you’re not sure. Explain that while you prefer her to have it zipped, if she chooses not to she needs to know how to fix it if she gets cold. Just be glad she comes home with the coat at all. Mine lost a number of jackets in their school years. We took to buying the cheapest ones we could find at the thrift store; the next step would have involved them paying for it themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/74 "2016-06-23T21:41:21Z")
Well, if she is forced to zip her jacket, then the flower she is carrying home will get crushed, and the pedals will fall off. And we don’t want that. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/75 "2016-06-23T22:17:16Z")
Joan Crawford would never have allowed Christina to not keep her jacket closed. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/76 "2016-06-23T23:01:11Z")
> [@Scottish\_Cailyn](#): > > I am a bit surprised at how many people are critical of me insisting that my daughter fastens up her jacket, I mean, I am the parent and she is the child so if I tell her to fasten her jacket then she has to fasten the jacket. > > Anyway here is what happened today after school. > > I told my daughter that she could play with a couple of friends who were staying over for dinner that they could play at the swingpark despite it pouring down with rain so I said to the girls that they must put off their shoes and jackets at the front porch when they came back. > > The girls didnt need to be asked, they automatically put on AND fastened their jackets and put the hoods up but when they came back, I noticed that all 3 had unfastened jackets which meant they were soaking so I went out to the porch and told all 3 off, I asked “why are you soaking, your jackets were fastened”?, one of the girls said “sorry, we unfastened our jackets”, I angrily said “your own parents might let you off with that but at mine if I tell you to fasten your jacket then thats what I expect ok, I didnt need to ask you which is good but I did expect you to keep them fastened, look how wet it is”. Oh, your the mother I don’t let my kids play with their kids because they think they get to raise mine. You might not let your daughter off with that, but I wouldn’t let you off telling my daughter off. Your rules may apply to your daughter, they don’t apply to mine when she is at the park. Its water, they get wet. Its June, and even in Scotland its warm enough that they won’t freeze. They are not descended from the Wicked Witch of the West, they don’t melt. On the other hand, me telling them I don’t care if they zip up or not, then getting yelled at by the crazy lady - that could cause damage. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/77 "2016-06-24T02:09:58Z")
So, if the OP is Joan Crawford, that makes **Dangerosa** who, Sissy Spacek? ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/78 "2016-06-24T17:10:19Z")
Isn’t the purpose of wearing a jacket the comfort of the wearer? If zipping a jacket makes the wearer uncomfortable isn’t that contrary to the whole purpose? ---
**Author:** ![Scottish\_Cailyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Scottish\_Cailyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scottish_Cailyn)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/79 "2016-06-24T20:58:33Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > +1. > > Make sure she CAN fasten the jacket if she wants to. Practice with her a few times if you’re not sure. Explain that while you prefer her to have it zipped, if she chooses not to she needs to know how to fix it if she gets cold. > > Just be glad she comes home with the coat at all. Mine lost a number of jackets in their school years. We took to buying the cheapest ones we could find at the thrift store; the next step > would have involved them paying for it themselves. She CAN fasten her jacket, I have seen her do it on many occasions, she just likes getting it done for her. Anyway, the school have told me that on 2 occasions this week, she had to inside during break and lunchtimes because she refused to zip her jacket when asked by her teacher. The reason the teacher asked her to zip her jacket AND put up the hood was because he didnt want her coming back into the classroom with her uniform and hair soaking/dripping over her work. I will probably get criticised for this but I told the teacher to zip it himself instead of asking because ny daughter likes going outside during break/lunchtimes, he said that he totally understands my request and PROMISED to obey me. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659/80 "2016-06-24T23:05:04Z")
> [@Scottish\_Cailyn](#): > > She CAN fasten her jacket, I have seen her do it on many occasions, she just likes getting it done for her. > > Anyway, the school have told me that on 2 occasions this week, she had to inside during break and lunchtimes because she refused to zip her jacket when asked by her teacher. > > The reason the teacher asked her to zip her jacket AND put up the hood was because he didnt want her coming back into the classroom with her uniform and hair soaking/dripping over her work. > > I will probably get criticised for this but I told the teacher to zip it himself instead of asking because ny daughter likes going outside during break/lunchtimes, he said that he totally understands my request and PROMISED to obey me. Why are the kids going outside in pouring rain? Also, what is this “asking” you keep saying? Tell her to zip it up, and tell her why, it’s easy: “Zip up your jacket and put your hood on or you are not going outside. I don’t want your wet hair and clothes dripping all over” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-right-to-insist-on-a-closed-jacket/757659.md?page=5)