# Am I rude for never saying "bless you" in response to people sneezing? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 23, 2009, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047 "2009-07-23T22:35:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sue\_White](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@Sue\_White](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_White)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/41 "2009-07-24T16:09:55Z")
My mom always used to say to us kids when we sneezed, “People don’t think that’s funny.” I think she was joking… ---
**Author:** ![silvermist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@silvermist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silvermist)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/42 "2009-07-24T16:24:51Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Ok, I got a few issues with this because on the one hand, I believe that if something is a social norm, and it botherin’ me none, I might as well participate. > > On the other hand, I really do feel like I should take a tiny ‘stand’ against supersticion (thanks to Dawkins for raising my awareness on that) > > What I do is say something like, “Oh My!” or “Poor thing!” some nonsense like that seems to work fine as social grease. > > When I sneeze and they say ‘bless you’ I feel like saying thank you is fine, but I still get an itty bitty nagging feeling that I am participating in supersticious bs. So I have started just saying ‘excuse me!’ in an apologetic tone. Again, works fine as social grease. I agree with Nzinga, but think it’s too bad that we have to feel uncomfortable for having our own beliefs just because we’re in the minority. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/43 "2009-07-24T16:45:22Z")
Don’t feel uncomfortable. And for those who don’t believe in a deity, why do blessings have to come from God, or a god? Can’t blessings come from each other? [Definition #6:](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/blessing) approval or good wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/44 "2009-07-24T16:51:41Z")
American society has deemed it polite to make a response to someone sneezing. This makes it impolite not to do so. “When in Rome,” etc. etc. In Japan, by contrast, there is no response to a sneeze–and it was really, really hard for me to remember not to say anything. But I bit back the response I was accustomed to making, because that was what was polite for the setting I was in. > [@Askance](#): > > How can “bless you” not have a religious intent? The sentiment is inherently religious. Do you also refuse to call pancakes breakfast if you’ve already eaten that morning, just because you’re not “breaking” your “fast”? :rolleyes: I hope you never say “damn” or “hell,” either. And before anyone can go off on some rant about how of course I’m not offended because I’m a Christian–I’m an atheist. > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I used to think that, too! :o (Blow job smiley!) If I pretend to think the same thing, can I get in on some of this hot hot oral action? ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/45 "2009-07-24T16:57:11Z")
I don’t say “Bless You,” and I don’t respond if anyone says it to me. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/46 "2009-07-24T16:58:24Z")
> [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](#): > > I ignore it until the third sneeze, at which point I call the offender an attention whore. > > What? I know you’re joking, but there’s a woman at my job who has some seriously dramatic sneezes that make me laugh, but piss off the rest of the office. If a sneeze could be accurately typed out, hers would go something like this: **AAAAAH -** _ **CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!** _ She actually says “Ah-Choo” when she sneezes. Nobody does that! You can seriously hear her sneezing from the other side of the building. The worst part is often after she’s done, she’ll say something like, “Ooh,” or groan, or otherwise marvel at how ridiculous her sneeze was. Why do we need the post-sneeze commentary, people? It is hilarious, but I can see why everyone else is annoyed. When someone sneezes, I say Gesundheit. ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/47 "2009-07-24T17:01:05Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > I got a weird reason for not saying it too. The whole religion thing is part of it. And I’ll admit it’s stupid on my part. > > What I sometimes say is ‘Zingooooo’! > > :shrug: > > eta.. > > Perhaps we should say ‘Marinara’ or ‘Alfredo’ in reference to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. That I like. Ramen. OP: it isn’t rude _per se_; it’s just become a social custom. I don’t think anyone is actually trying to keep the demons out with it anymore. For what it’s worth, I usually say “goes in tight” followed by a less audible, “comes out loose.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/48 "2009-07-24T17:07:16Z")
The idea that “bless you” is religious is IMO ridiculous. Is an atheist who says “Oh god!” while having sex a hypocrite? Is that another silly and offensive custom that we need to get rid of? ETA: When someone does some serial sneezing, wait until they’re finished. Then adopt a mideastern or Indian accent and say “Many blessings on your home!” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/49 "2009-07-24T17:08:58Z")
I never say “bless you” … yeah, like above, it’s part of the religion thing. I prefer to offer a “gesundheit” as well. And that’s usually only if I know the sneezer. I don’t wander the streets listening for stray sneezes so I can put my iron grip of the German language into practice. But here’s the thing … when someone does say “bless you” to me, I never thank them. I usually respond with a muted “excuse me.” One goofy tradition in the face of another, as far as I’m concerned. ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/50 "2009-07-24T17:40:24Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > The idea that “bless you” is religious is IMO ridiculous. Is an atheist who says “Oh god!” while having sex a hypocrite? Is that another silly and offensive custom that we need to get rid of? In case you didn’t get the memo, we scream out, “Oh fate, oh chance, oh destiny!” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/51 "2009-07-24T17:46:56Z")
> [@ashman165](#): > > In case you didn’t get the memo, we scream out, “Oh fate, oh chance, oh destiny!” Oh shit! I’ve been doing it wrong all these years. ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/52 "2009-07-24T17:51:00Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Oh shit! I’ve been doing it wrong all these years. Oh my Rod. Thank Rod I was here to steer you back onto the straight (if you swing that way) and narrow. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/53 "2009-07-24T18:03:06Z")
This is one of those “things my parents never did, so I never quite picked it up.” It’s not an automatic reaction for me. And it never occurs to me to say anything until after I’ve heard 8 other people say “bless you,” or “gesundheit.” and then, I feel silly, because the moment has passed. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2009, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/54 "2009-07-25T03:18:43Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > She actually says “Ah-Choo” when she sneezes. Nobody does that! You can seriously hear her sneezing from the other side of the building. The worst part is often after she’s done, she’ll say something like, “Ooh,” or groan, or otherwise marvel at how ridiculous her sneeze was. Why do we need the post-sneeze commentary, people? It is hilarious, but I can see why everyone else is annoyed. Yeah, like this ex-friend of mine who had this affectation (I’m sure that’s all it was) of emitting a high pitched squeal immediately after a sneeze. I mean, this was bat-sonar high sonic range stuff. And loud. Incredibly annoying. Even more annoying is that my then-wife picked up the habit from her … ---
**Author:** ![Nation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@Nation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nation)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2009, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/55 "2009-07-25T03:36:01Z")
STOP IT IMMEDIATELY my goodness you’ll offend someone and hurt their poor wittle feelings. say fuck you bitch instead. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/56 "2009-07-25T04:27:24Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Why do we need the post-sneeze commentary, people? I once sneezed and it was an explosion of goopy snot all over myself. It was the most liquidly messy sneeze I ever had. I had to run away immediately and clean myself up, which took several minutes in itself. That one was worthy of my commentary, which consisted mostly of a gurgled “Oh my God!” ---
**Author:** ![D.Fenestrator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aca169/32.png) [@D.Fenestrator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.Fenestrator)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2009, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/57 "2009-07-25T04:33:19Z")
I grew up saying “gesundheit” and so “bless you” sounds odd to me. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2009, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/58 "2009-07-25T12:24:35Z")
I appreciate everyone out there who doesn’t feel the need to let me know that they heard me sneeze. It’s an incredibly stupid custom. Let me sneeze in peace, for Pete’s sake. I’m not worried about my soul trying to escape my body, and I enjoy sneezing, and I’d just as soon enjoy it in peace. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/59 "2009-07-25T17:29:16Z")
As I believe I may’ve mentioned in another, similar thread, I feel it makes much more sense to say “excuse me” after _you_ sneeze rather than anything at all after someone else does. The analogy to various other gaseous expulsions makes sense to me. Being blessed irks me perhaps more because it seems to demand a response than because of the religious overtones. The only thing sillier than acknowledging a reflex is having to thank someone for doing so. When others sneeze, I generally don’t feel compelled to say anything unless I’m consciously trying to be punctiliously polite. When I do, I prefer ‘gesundheit’ to avoid the religious thing. I’ll likely switch to the Russian equivalent if I ever happen to learn it, assuming it doesn’t demand Bog’s involvement. (If anyone happens to know the Russian equivalent and would care to share it, preferably in Cyrillic, along with a translation, I’d be interested to find out.) ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_Stream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@Carol\_Stream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_Stream)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047/60 "2009-07-25T17:53:15Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I assume you never say “goodbye” either. Or take a holiday, for that matter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-rude-for-never-saying-bless-you-in-response-to-people-sneezing/504047.md?page=4)