# Am I Satan, or just a garden variey psychopath? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656 "2011-01-06T20:53:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/101 "2011-01-07T17:15:47Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I know how I sometimes come off. You’ll have to trust me to know what I’m doing. > > And if you can’t trust me, at least wish me luck. > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > So you know that you come off a little creepy when you talk about dating and you just want to continue doing that? If that many people were telling me that what I was doing seemed bizarre or wasn’t working (whether it’s about dating, clothing, etc.), I think I’d start to pay at least a little attention. You’ve posted enough about pickup artistry that it’s clear you want to be seen as cool and self-confident, yet your posts about women tend to come off borderline skeevy. I’m not entirely sure what the point of this thread was - stealth-bragging? You, **tdn** , said yourself you know how this board goes, and this reaction can’t be a surprise to you. If you’re meeting this woman for a weekend of sex, and her family got weirded out by that, that wouldn’t be a big surprise. If you aren’t meeting her for a weekend of sex, all you had to do was post, “I’m meeting a nice lady in a town halfway between us; I’ve booked two rooms for us at a nice little B&B - wish us well!” and we probably all would have wished you well. You can’t have it both ways, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/102 "2011-01-07T17:23:51Z")
In all of this, the main thing I would suggest is a second room. In all seriousness, traveling for miles in a broken down car, then encountering the guy you’ve never met might create some awkwardness, and- if there’s only one room, and one bed- a feeling of having gotten oneself trapped in a situation with no wiggle room. Even if she’s totally into the idea, when she finds herself there, she may feel the need to get to know you a bit before diving into the bed. Having ‘her’ room rented, even if she never uses it, provides privacy and the ability to make decisions from a position of security. If you’re not currently in a relationship, a second, or even adjoining room would be gentlemanly. Plus, get dinner reservations. They’re free, and you won’t have to take her to McD’s. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/103 "2011-01-07T17:25:27Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m not entirely sure what the point of this thread was - stealth-bragging? Is it stealth-bragging or sneak-bragging. I can never remember. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/104 "2011-01-07T17:32:23Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m not entirely sure what the point of this thread was - stealth-bragging? Sharing an interesting situation. I need to learn to stop doing that. It brings out the cynics like termites. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/105 "2011-01-07T17:42:15Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Sharing an interesting situation. I need to learn to stop doing that. It brings out the cynics like termites. Now then, you skipped right over my non-cynical helpful advice. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/106 "2011-01-07T17:46:44Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Now then, you skipped right over my non-cynical helpful advice. I did read it and I appreciate it. I’m thinking about the 2nd room thing, and I can see benefits and detriments. I’ll guage her comfort level as best as I can, and if we need a second room, I’m sure we’ll be able to find something. Dinner reservation are a good idea. She’s scoping out restaurants right now. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/107 "2011-01-07T17:50:35Z")
What would be the detriment to reserving a second room? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/108 "2011-01-07T17:53:06Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > What would be the detriment to reserving a second room? The expense and the fact that she has an easy out. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/109 "2011-01-07T17:55:34Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > What would be the detriment to reserving a second room? The expense and the possibility that it might send the wrong message. I think she expects me to come on fully confident and romantic, and a 2nd room could kill that. That’s why I need to guage her comfort level ASAP. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/110 "2011-01-07T17:59:43Z")
It’s not a wrong message to allow her the option of privacy and comfort. That’s EXACTLY what confident men do. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/111 "2011-01-07T18:04:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > The expense and the possibility that it might send the wrong message. I think she expects me to come on fully confident and romantic, and a 2nd room could kill that. That’s why I need to guage her comfort level ASAP. Confidence and romance are good. Overly intense, desperate and controlling are not. Personally, I’m getting a lot more of the latter from you than the former in this thread. Word of advice: when you’re with her, project confidence in the sense that you’re not worried about what will or won’t happen this weekend, you’re just there to enjoy getting to know someone and whatever happens happens. The absolute last impression you want to give is of someone trying to force things along asap before she changes her mind. Also, don’t use any of the language quoted below about making this a wonderful experience for her – it sounds weird and controlling. > [@tdn](#): > > I feel really bad for her. I wanted to make it an excellent experience for her. > [@tdn](#): > > Like I said earlier, I think the sticker shock wore off and the mom realized that her daughter just wants to be happy. > > I’m going to do my best to not let her down. > [@tdn](#): > > I want to give this woman a great experience. Some people, for some reason, can’t handle that concept. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/112 "2011-01-07T18:10:36Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Also, don’t use any of the language quoted below about making this a wonderful experience for her – it sounds weird and controlling. I’m sorry that that’s your experience of me. It doesn’t seem to be hers. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/113 "2011-01-07T18:12:29Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I’m sorry that that’s your experience of me. It doesn’t seem to be hers. Fair enough – my advice was offered to be helpful, not as a put down. You of course know your situation better than anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/114 "2011-01-07T18:13:12Z")
You could always get the second room and not tell her about it initially. That way, if things don’t work out well, you can always offer her an out like a gentleman. And if things do work out, you could probably immediately get your money refunded as you won’t be using the second room. And you wouldn’t ever have to tell her if that scenario plays out! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/115 "2011-01-07T18:14:50Z")
I wouldn’t bet on the refund. Hotels often have a cancellation policy that requires advance notice… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/116 "2011-01-07T18:15:05Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > You could always get the second room and not tell her about it initially. That way, if things don’t work out well, you can always offer her an out like a gentleman. And if things do work out, you could probably immediately get your money refunded as you won’t be using the second room. And you wouldn’t ever have to tell her if that scenario plays out! Good idea, but the place is kind of expensive, and they do have a cancellation policy. There would be no refund. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/117 "2011-01-07T18:16:14Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > I wouldn’t bet on the refund. Hotels often have a cancellation policy that requires advance notice… Simulpost! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/118 "2011-01-07T18:20:15Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Fair enough – my advice was offered to be helpful, not as a put down. You of course know your situation better than anyone else. I appreciate that. And don’t forget, this whole thing was half her idea. It’s not like I skeevily lured her into some seedy motel. She picked the place, even the room, and left it to me to take care of the details. I think she’s more enthused about it than I am. She can’t stop talking about it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/119 "2011-01-07T18:20:21Z")
I would submit that if you aren’t ready to pay for two rooms, you shouldn’t be scheduling a first meeting at a hotel. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/120 "2011-01-07T18:30:58Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I would submit that if you aren’t ready to pay for two rooms, you shouldn’t be scheduling a first meeting at a hotel. You don’t think I should be meeting her in the first place, so your opinion counts very little to me. There’s going to be no satisfying you, so I’m not even going to try. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656.md?page=7)