# Am I Satan, or just a garden variey psychopath? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656 "2011-01-06T20:53:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/141 "2011-01-08T04:21:10Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Just said it isn’t as unusual as some in this thread seem to think. I don’t see an internet connection for a weekend of sex as unusual. I think that what everybody else finds bizarre is the middle aged woman 1. Even telling her family about it 2. Her getting so worked up about it that she is telling her banjo boy brother about it so he could rat her out 3. Her parents’ disapproval having any sway in her decision 4. tdn believing the story. Al Gore invented the internet for just such reasons as hot monkey sex get togethers. The story the girl invented is to get out of any kind of sex. New hijack, tho: If tdn gets stood up, will he tell the truth about it??? Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/142 "2011-01-08T04:37:54Z")
**tdn** , this is basically how I met my now-husband, except the details are even creepier, and we managed not to get our families involved. Best of luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/143 "2011-01-08T05:04:05Z")
This sounds like the makings of particularly loathesome rom-com. Since she’s so enthused about it, I think she’s imagining this dirty weekend is going to go just swell and will be the start of a long beautiful relationship. I suppose it’s possible. I would also suppose one or both of you will be fleeing in horror before the day is done, remembering a previous engagement. (As for her family, hell, yes, they are entitled to some reservations! YOU say what a sterling character you are, THEY don’t know you. When I worked at the movie theater and was trying to cash out, I was distracted and kept coming up with different figures. My then boyfriend offered to “help” me count my cash, and my manager saw him near the money and pitched a gigantic fit. I was all indignant, bleating ‘but he’s my booooyfrieeeendd’ and thought she was being rude. Looking back, SHE didn’t know he was honestly trying to help. ( And for all I knew, he could have pocketed a $10 bill.) It looked bad to my manager, and she had every right to chew me out.) ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/144 "2011-01-08T07:39:39Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Guys, read back. The “girl” is in her 30s. Her family doesn’t get a say. Christ. i read the whole thread and am aware of the ages of the people involved, thanks. doesn’t change my opinion at all, so “christ” yourself. 🙂 i don’t believe i said that her family does get a say, actually, just that they have the right to be concerned. thanks for playing. > [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > It’s not a wrong message to allow her the option of privacy and comfort. That’s EXACTLY what confident men do. i have to say, you’re 100% correct about this. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/145 "2011-01-09T01:44:09Z")
BTW, I forgot to say good luck, \*\*tdn. \*\* Also, I don’t think it’s stealth bragging-he’s been around long enough to know that we all, when possible, come right out and cackle about our brilliance/greatness/sexual prowess/etc… as loud, and as long as possible, whenever we can… Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/146 "2011-01-09T01:46:13Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > **tdn** , this is basically how I met my now-husband, except the details are even creepier, and we managed not to get our families involved. Best of luck to you. If you’ve posted details here: link, please! Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/147 "2011-01-09T03:09:41Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > If you’ve posted details here: link, please! I have not. 🙂 The short version is that we met each other on the Internet in 1995, spent some time chatting, and then met for a hotel rendezvous without ever having seen photographs of each other or even talked on the phone. (Well, I had seen one not-very-good black and white picture of him on his grad school’s website. He had not seen a photo of me at all.) In retrospect it was a pretty crazy thing for me to do and he easily could have turned out to be a serial killer or something. But he didn’t. And now we’re married! Ten years this August. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/148 "2011-01-09T03:33:43Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > **MOL** , I totally got what you meant and took no offense. Yes, I realize that’s a possibility. I’ve had it happen before. The good news is that since we’re meeting in the afternoon, that will give her time to drive back home. And I’ll end up having a meditative weekend in the country. Always a welcome thing! Obviously, I am late to the party. (I mean. Literally, late to the party. If his plans came to fruition right now tdn is offering his long distance girlfriend with a nosy family the bed and breakfast experience that could only be matched by a party in an IHOP in France. ) But, I couldn’t stop myself from commenting on this. Creepy or not in the execution and planning for the trip. This attitude is incredibly selfish. If she isn’t interested in having sex with you she is free to drive the 6 hours to go back home and you are free to have a nice meandering weekend and if you aren’t interested in having sex with her she is also free to drive the 6 hours back home and you are free to meander the podunk town. Freedom! That’s the plan? Get her there in the afternoon. Kick the tires. And send her back on that highway of lost love her way if it’s not ok? I hope you had a good time. But, this attitude just seemed off to me. I have no problem with being aware that things might not work out. But, if you plan on meeting a town with limited options on where to stay it seems like you need a better backup plan then sending her back on the road for another long trip. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/149 "2011-01-09T16:09:43Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > **tdn** , this is basically how I met my now-husband, except the details are even creepier, and we managed not to get our families involved. Best of luck to you. This thread must be getting to me; for some reason, I initially read this as “how I met my now-dead husband.” :eek:😛 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/150 "2011-01-09T16:20:03Z")
> [@pricciar](#): > > Obviously, I am late to the party. (I mean. Literally, late to the party. If his plans came to fruition right now tdn is offering his long distance girlfriend with a nosy family the bed and breakfast experience that could only be matched by a party in an IHOP in France. ) But, I couldn’t stop myself from commenting on this. Creepy or not in the execution and planning for the trip. This attitude is incredibly selfish. If she isn’t interested in having sex with you she is free to drive the 6 hours to go back home and you are free to have a nice meandering weekend and if you aren’t interested in having sex with her she is also free to drive the 6 hours back home and you are free to meander the podunk town. Freedom! That’s the plan? Get her there in the afternoon. Kick the tires. And send her back on that highway of lost love her way if it’s not ok? I glossed over it, but I agree–it’s very selfish. It’s a strange view of sex/relationships. How would one even go about saying that to one’s date? I feel bad saying this because I do enjoy your posts, **tdn**. You have a lot of funny and interesting things to say. But it just seems like there’s a lot you could learn about social interaction (esp. with women). ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/151 "2011-01-09T17:02:52Z")
It does have a kind of skeevy vibe to it, I agree. Hard to put your finger on. It’s like he’s all about sexual conquest, and is here bragging about his clever set up, wherein she’s going to feel somewhat obligated to sleep with him. The second room would give her an out and ruin the perfect set up, so that’s out. You can kind of see how, if you’re all about sexual conquest, this would be an awesome set up. And if they’re both just after some sex, no harm, no foul. I could be wrong, I’m just saying that’s the vibe it puts off. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/152 "2011-01-09T17:07:05Z")
Yeah, and “if she doesn’t like it she can drive six hours back home” is not exactly sensitive or aware. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/153 "2011-01-09T17:08:56Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Yeah, and “if she doesn’t like it she can drive six hours back home” is not exactly sensitive or aware. Well, if she doesn’t want to have to drive 12 hours in one day, she better be unhinging her jaw right about now. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/154 "2011-01-09T17:15:21Z")
Errm. So anyway, y’all do know what this woman is already aware of her options, right? ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/155 "2011-01-09T18:01:08Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Errm. > > So anyway, y’all do know what this woman is already aware of her options, right? Yeah, but somehow I get the impression of naiveté from this woman, albeit with little solid evidence. I mean, I guess it’s the fact that she’s 30 and relies so heavily on her family for stuff, and the fact that she’s willing to even do something like this with someone she’s never met and be super excited about it like a kid at Disneyland, makes me think that she’s not super worldly and hasn’t quite thought about an exit strategy. Then again, **tdn** did say that they had talked extensively about sex, so maybe she’s not as naive as I assumed. Regardless, I hope they had a good time. But I agree with **Slit** that **tdn’s** approach to women leaves something to be desired, and it’s super frustrating when all the women on this forum try to explain that to him and he always comes back with, “no trust me, you don’t understand, this is different, blahblahblah.” I mean, remember when he was talking about how waitresses LOVED it when he hit on them, despite everyone’s objections, cause he knows how to do it in a fun and funny way and he can tell that it brightens their day? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/156 "2011-01-09T18:24:33Z")
Oh, I agree that this woman is completely out of her mind, but I’m sure she knows she’s free to leave. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/157 "2011-01-09T18:33:40Z")
I would imagine that wherever they’re meeting is not so isolated that, if she is displeased with how the date is going, she couldn’t drive an hour back up the road and find a Hampton Inn or some such. She wouldn’t necessarily have to drive back all six hours that same day. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/158 "2011-01-09T18:42:47Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I would imagine that wherever they’re meeting is not so isolated that, if she is displeased with how the date is going, she couldn’t drive an hour back up the road and find a Hampton Inn or some such. She wouldn’t necessarily have to drive back all six hours that same day. This is a good point. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/159 "2011-01-09T18:55:45Z")
For me, it’s not the fact that she’s trapped there, exactly. I know she could drive somewhere else to spend the night. It’s just that **tdn** could make it easier on them both by booking that second room and he refuses to by saying it’ll send the wrong message. But then he says that if it doesn’t work out, she’s free to drive off. It’s not like she’s forced to do anything, no–it’s not like some guy driving a high school girl out to the middle of nowhere and saying that if she doesn’t put out she’s free to walk home alone. But it does seem like he’s trying to make the experience as convenient as possible for himself, and not so much for her. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656/160 "2011-01-09T19:02:49Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > For me, it’s not the fact that she’s trapped there, exactly. I know she could drive somewhere else to spend the night. It’s just that **tdn** could make it easier on them both by booking that second room and he refuses to by saying it’ll send the wrong message. But then he says that if it doesn’t work out, she’s free to drive off. It’s not like she’s forced to do anything, no–it’s not like some guy driving a high school girl out to the middle of nowhere and saying that if she doesn’t put out she’s free to walk home alone. But it does seem like he’s trying to make the experience as convenient as possible for himself, and not so much for her. This is also a good point. Also, not gonna lie, he’s got a history of being creepy. Anyone else and I’d totally cut them more slack but yeah with **tdn** , due to his posting history, my suspicions are raised. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-satan-or-just-a-garden-variey-psychopath/566656.md?page=9)