# Am I surrounded by butt ugly pussies? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 29, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686 "2010-12-29T05:56:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/1 "2010-12-29T05:56:23Z")
[Ok, I have an hypothesis which I offer you to examine and comment on.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=590848) Presuming that hypothetical Monkey is an Adonis. That lets Monkey bone more super models before breakfast than 49/50 people will see in a Victoria’s Secret catalog. Presume that Monkey is uber asskicking awesome. This would make me more badass and cool than about the same proportion of the population (As an expert said in the book ‘Bruce Lee - A biography’, by far the most interesting event to occur on the set of _Enter the Dragon_ was monkey bitch-slapping Chuck Norris for sexually harrassing the craft table girl). My presumptions holding, (and please do not disrail the argument by rejecting my presumptions - they are absolute fact.), the vast majority of people are uglier and less badass. Since everything, including the concept of sexiness, awesomness, kickassitude (yes, that’s a word. I coined it, bitches) etc, is all relative, to Monkey’s point of view, Monkey is surrounded by butt ugly pussies that should bow to my awe inspiring manliness. While very very rare people might be sexier (James Bond) or more kickass (Batman), they are so rare, and unlikely to ever cause problems for Monkey, they are a non-factor. So, is Monkey surrounded by butt ugly pussies? > [@sassyfras](#): > > Who wants to be surrounded by inferiors in mind and spirit at almost all levels of society? And almost every restaurant, tv show, movie, music program, is designed for the Stu-paths? > [@sassyfras](#): > > I am surrounded by walmart shoppers (outside of walmart) and McDonald’s eaters, yet have I been absorbed into their blubbery mass despite avoiding those two corporate curses? Jesus Christ, Bitch. Get over yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/2 "2010-12-29T06:05:09Z")
Am I surrounded by people speaking in the third person? Jesus Christ, Bitch, get over yourself. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/3 "2010-12-29T06:17:33Z")
It’s a parody thread. Click on the link, dumbass. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/4 "2010-12-29T06:23:42Z")
If a person doesn’t want to be surrounded by inferiors, then they have no business posting on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/5 "2010-12-29T06:32:49Z")
Well, I’ve worked in gynecology, and I can tell you, attractive vaginas are few and far between, buddy. We are all surrounded by butt ugly pussies, and there’s nothing we can do about it. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/6 "2010-12-29T06:52:14Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > It’s a parody thread. Click on the link, dumbass. You need a hobby, or just go outside. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/7 "2010-12-29T06:53:22Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Well, I’ve worked in gynecology, and I can tell you, attractive vaginas are few and far between, buddy. We are all surrounded by butt ugly pussies, and there’s nothing we can do about it. If you can’t lick 'em, join 'em. But wait--------------------------I didn’t really say that; I was possessed. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/8 "2010-12-29T07:12:06Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Well, I’ve worked in gynecology, and I can tell you, attractive vaginas are few and far between, buddy. But… they’re vaginas. Talking about unattractive vaginas is a bit like talking about uncute kittens; every once in a while you get a truly ugly kitten, but they’re the exception that proves the rule. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/9 "2010-12-29T07:15:36Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > But… they’re vaginas. > Talking about unattractive vaginas is a bit like talking about uncute kittens; every once in a while you get a truly ugly kitten, but they’re the exception that proves the rule. My views on vaginas are like my views on children- my own is okay, great, even; but I don’t really want anything to do with anyone else’s. But you go, have fun! ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/10 "2010-12-29T07:20:14Z")
If vaginas are being compared to kittens, then I say we apply the same rule to people talking about their vaginas that we do to people talking about their kittens. You have to post pictures. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/11 "2010-12-29T07:29:50Z")
Outside of target acquisition, I see no purpose to visual inspection. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/12 "2010-12-29T10:01:14Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > [Ok, I have an hypothesis which I offer you to examine and comment on.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=590848) > > Presuming that hypothetical Monkey is an Adonis. That lets Monkey bone more super models before breakfast than 49/50 people will see in a Victoria’s Secret catalog. > > Presume that Monkey is uber asskicking awesome. This would make me more badass and cool than about the same proportion of the population (As an expert said in the book ‘Bruce Lee - A biography’, by far the most interesting event to occur on the set of _Enter the Dragon_ was monkey bitch-slapping Chuck Norris for sexually harrassing the craft table girl). > > My presumptions holding, (and please do not disrail the argument by rejecting my presumptions - they are absolute fact.), the vast majority of people are uglier and less badass. > > Since everything, including the concept of sexiness, awesomness, kickassitude (yes, that’s a word. I coined it, bitches) etc, is all relative, to Monkey’s point of view, Monkey is surrounded by butt ugly pussies that should bow to my awe inspiring manliness. > > While very very rare people might be sexier (James Bond) or more kickass (Batman), they are so rare, and unlikely to ever cause problems for Monkey, they are a non-factor. > > So, is Monkey surrounded by butt ugly pussies? > > Jesus Christ, Bitch. Get over yourself. Clap clap clap ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/13 "2010-12-29T10:18:00Z")
The reason I started this thing was to slap a poster upside the head in the hope (though it might be a mis-guided hope) that a touch of humility is a good thing. The truly intelligent realize that they are only talented in a specific way\*, and that the truly conscientious and ethical don’t put themselves above their fellow human beings. \*Who’s smarter? The brain surgeon who disrespects the mechanic fixing his Lexus, or the mechanic that convinces the surgeon to pay for blinker fluid? ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/14 "2010-12-29T11:52:03Z")
Don’t pit the hypothetical. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/15 "2010-12-29T11:58:25Z")
She lost the “hypothetical” defense when she started to post in the first person. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/16 "2010-12-29T12:12:31Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Presuming that hypothetical Monkey is an Adonis. So, the male equivalent of a [monkubine](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=526869)? A gibbongolo? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/17 "2010-12-29T12:16:56Z")
I have never seen an ugly vagina. Not at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/18 "2010-12-29T14:06:48Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > \ > \*Who’s smarter? The brain surgeon who disrespects the mechanic fixing his Lexus, or the mechanic that convinces the surgeon to pay for blinker fluid? What kind of classist bullshit is this? The surgeon gets the “who” indicating he’s a human, and the mechanic gets the “that” of an object? :mad: ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/19 "2010-12-29T14:16:36Z")
Yes, laborers are objects, like simple tools or beasts of burden. Everybody knows that. Grrr, angry classism! Can we talk more about vaginas now? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686/20 "2010-12-29T14:17:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Am I surrounded by butt ugly pussies? Ask her to roll over. [QUOTE=Sophie Tucker] Just the other day my boyfriend Ernie was complaining, “Soph, you’ve got no tits and a tight box.” I said to him, “Ernie, Get off my back!” [/quote] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-surrounded-by-butt-ugly-pussies/565686.md?page=2)