# Am I the only dork around here?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [October 24, 2000, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056 "2000-10-24T01:47:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@jjjfishe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjjfishe)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/1 "2000-10-24T01:47:18Z")
I’m such a dork.
I was 15 and working at my very first job. I was a waitress at a barbecue restaurant. It was probably my second or third day working and the manager came up to me (He was around 20 years old) and told me that I needed to rotate the ice. Puzzled…I looked at him and said, “Rotate the ice?” He said in a serious and convincing voice that before I could leave I would have to rotate the ice…get all the older ice from the bottom of the huge ice machine and put it on top. So we could use the old ice first.
Well… I did want to do a good job and if the manager told me to do something then…
I laid out 8 huge bus tubs and started scooping…
Thirty minutes into this time consuming job the owner of the restaurant walks in and looks at all the ice and says, “What the hell are you doing?”
I reply, “Oh…just rotating the ice”
He giggles.
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### Author:  [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/2 "2000-10-24T02:00:54Z")
In junior high, we had to take “Metals.” This is, of course, shop class from hell. I was surrounded on all sides by sharp things that could take off a finger and heavy things that can crush your hand and hot things that could give you third degree burns (or first degree–which is worse?) and things that throw sparks and I was an eleven-year-old girl, for God’s sake.
The teacher informed me that I made a mistake in scratching out a pattern for the little tin box thing we were making, and one of the pieces I’d marked out was too short. I didn’t see an easy way to correct it (since the pieces in the pattern was tightly packed together), and asked what I should do. He told me to go next door and ask the wood shop teacher for the metal stretcher.
Okay, I was dumb to fall for it. But I was freakin’ _eleven_ and I had your basic eleven-year-old’s encyclopedic knowledge of metal-working.
So I go over and ask the wood shop teacher for a metal stretcher. He looks at me funny, but got up, rummaged around in a back room, and came out with this huge, rusty metal thing, covered in dirt and cobwebs. So apparently I wasn’t the first victim of this gag.
I dragged the thing over, but by then it was already time for clean-up. So the NEXT day I had to come in and ask where the “metal stretcher” was. That’s when the teacher, none too gently, let me in on the joke, and told me to get another piece of tin and start over.
The worst thing was that next year I had to take WOOD SHOP. I don’t know if the teacher remembered me, but I was just as handy in woodshop as I was in metals, let me assure you.
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### Author:  [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/3 "2000-10-24T02:05:28Z")
Nope, you’re not the only dork.
When I was a bagboy at a local market, each new employee was messed with in that manner. Some were sent to neighboring businesses to borrow the “bag stretcher”; some were sent to check the price on “dehydrated water”; some were sent to find the “sky hook.” Others just had to go to the neighboring liquor store and borrow a carton of “Regency Light 100s Menthol Slim Cigarettes,” because the market was out of them.
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### Author:  [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/4 "2000-10-24T02:11:11Z")
Poddie…
You are a Heinlein fan???
[/hijack]
O
* * *
vidi vici veni!
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### Author:  [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/5 "2000-10-24T02:14:29Z")
I meant to ask her this too. Podkayne of Mars is one of my favorite books.
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### Author:  [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/6 "2000-10-24T02:21:50Z")
I take your username to mean Sanibel Island…
Want to do a Dopefest, South Central Florida Style sometime\>?
I would love to get you, Golf Widow, Bear Nenno with my fiance and I, plus any more that wish to attend together. Maybe we can meet at the Four Green Fields, the only thatch roofed pub in America. It is in Tampa, and should be mid-way between us all… _except for Michi and Bear, since they live in Tampa proper…_
I will buy the first few rounds of drinks!
O
* * *
vidi vici veni!
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### Author:  [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/7 "2000-10-24T02:26:01Z")
Call a Sears (or any other) Paint Center, and ask for Gangrene. You would be surprised at how many fall for that one.
I fell for the reverse headed ratchet gag when I worked for the paint and hardware dept at sears. But I didn’t fall for the metric cresent wrench one. 🙂
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### Author:  [@jjjfishe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjjfishe)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/8 "2000-10-24T02:28:06Z")
My cousin was working at a burger restaurant and spent at least 10 minutes looking for the “steak stretcher,” and “squeegie sharpener.”
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### Author:  [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/9 "2000-10-24T02:29:53Z")
When I was in the Air Farce, I was a medic stationed in the Air Force’s largest hospital at Lackland Air Force Base. When a new person would get stationed there, we would send them down to sterile supply to get a set of “sterile Phalopian (sp?) tubes”. The look on their faces when they came back was priceless.
Me, on the other hand, when I got stationed there, I didn’t fall for it because I had been around the block a couple times. :D:D
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### Author:  [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/10 "2000-10-24T02:32:25Z")
Naughty hijackers.
Yes, I’m an RAH fan.
I’m sure my namesake would have handled the shop teacher better. I’m picturing a sharp kick in the shin. Or maybe she would have sicced Clark on him. No, on second thought, no one deserves that fate.
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### Author:  [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/11 "2000-10-24T02:41:56Z")
\ Dork… Just checking in.
Stationed here at Gunter Field (MAFB), as a programmer I got sent to the excess office to get ten feet of “bandwith”. I now know better.
Now I feel like a big dummy… I’m going back to the compliment thread. ☹
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### Author:  [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/12 "2000-10-24T02:43:28Z")
What ever you do, don’t page Mike Hunt over the loudspeaker Or even worse, ask if someone has seen Mike Hunt.
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### Author:  [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/13 "2000-10-24T02:47:01Z")
I wish to confess that I left a message on a co-workers’ desk telling them to call C. Lyon - giving the number of London Zoo. :eek:
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### Author:  [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/14 "2000-10-24T03:32:26Z")
When I was a newbie in the Air Force, one of my supervisors asked me to go to supply and get 100 feet of flight line. I asked him if we were running low on left-handed monkey wrenches, too. When I was growing up in Sacra-tomato, California, many of my childhood buddies were Air Force brats, so I’d heard most of the jokes before I came in.
One time I was stationed at Mather AFB (before they closed it down). I was at the flightline supply issue point when a new airman came in and asked for 5 gallons of jetwash. The guy behind the counter didn’t even blink. He just reached down and pulled out a gallon jug of blue fluid. “Sorry, Airman. We only issue jet wash in one-gallon increments. Have your supervisor call me if he needs more.”
~~Baloo
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### Author:  [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/15 "2000-10-24T03:37:46Z")
jjjfishe a _dork?!?_
_siggggghhhhhhh_
…never!
still…
::muffles giggle::
“rotating ice?”
::runs from room, covering mouth::
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### Author:  [@Thrashbarg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thrashbarg)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/16 "2000-10-24T03:51:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _mojo57 wrote_:
> What ever you do, don’t page Mike Hunt over the loudspeaker Or even worse, ask if someone has seen Mike Hunt.
As a Customer Service rep. in a packed casino, I was once asked to page that name. I told him to stuff it. Sheesh, I saw the movie Porky’s, not gonna fall for THAT one.
He then said, ‘Sorry about that. Just kidding. The real name is Amanda Leywith.’ Whom I DID page. Several times.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/17 "2000-10-24T04:02:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mojo57 \*
> \*\*What ever you do, don’t page Mike Hunt over the loudspeaker Or even worse, ask if someone has seen Mike Hunt. \*\*
I must be a _supreme_ dork- I don’t get it. I got “Amanda Leywith,” but not this one…help?
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### Author:  [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/18 "2000-10-24T04:14:10Z")
Zoggie - Mike Hunt=my cunt.
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### Author:  [@Mirth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirth)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/19 "2000-10-24T04:18:08Z")
I am a dork, but only when sleep deprived.
While working my 2nd job (hostess) I did both of these on the same day:
(back to hostess stand, talking with my manager)
Manager: (interupts me mid-sentace) “Say, ‘Hi’.”
Me: (confused but playing along) “Hi!”
Manager: “No, you have customers-- turn around and say, ‘Hi.’”
later that same day…
Me: “I have a party of five that says they are too crowded and want to split into two parties of two.”
Manager: “You mean a three and two?”
Me: “No, two parties of two.”
Manager: “Uh, they can’t do that.”
Me: (still oblivious) Okay, I’ll tell them.
Manager: No, they _can’t_ do that.
Me: (finally realizing that 2 + 2 doesn’t equal 5) “Ahh… right… yeah… nevermind.” :😊:
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### Author:  [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-dork-around-here/38056/20 "2000-10-24T04:38:59Z")
When I was in the Navy I used to love being asked to get stupid stuff - talk about extended smoke breaks!
“Sure, Chief, I’d be more than happy to sit outside this entire fine Florida evening and watch for the satellite to fly over so you can set up the timing light on the station time clock!” :rolleyes:
At least they weren’t stupid enough to send me out on mail bouy watch at my land-locked comm station.
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