# Am I the only female that doesn't go ga-ga over babies? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2007, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931 "2007-08-17T13:16:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![bubble\_pop\_electric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecae2f/32.png) [@bubble\_pop\_electric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubble_pop_electric)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/81 "2007-08-20T03:13:16Z")
I don’t really have anything new to add except to agree. My feelings about them are very similar to my feelings about monkeys. A lot of people think they are cute, but they are just very ugly versions of actual people. If you saw an adult person with an overly large bald head, would you think it was so adorable? i make no distinction. ---
**Author:** ![toadbriar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@toadbriar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadbriar)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/82 "2007-08-20T06:25:32Z")
Ah this is a comforting thread. I’m not into babies; they’re people, and some are going to be more interesting than others. If one smiles at me, that’s pretty cool and fun. I said about my new neice born in June, “hey! She has facial expressions, she’s a people already!” because she did not exhibit the “loaf-ness” that seems to describe most babies, in my opinion. It can be pleasing to make a baby happy, content, and comfortable, but I feel that way about most living things. I know the visceral response. The days-old, bottle-raised baby goat I got to hold at the art festival last year? Oh man. I got it so hard it made my throat ache. “His perfect tiny little hooves haven’t even been worn on the bottoms yet! Look at his sweet wee velvety nose OH MY GOD he has drops of milk on his fuzzy little chin!!!” Good grief it’s ridiculous and embarrassing. I’m cynical but not quite a misanthrope - there’s something endearing to be learned about most everyone, I think, if you can take the effort to look. But one does not automatically squee over people in general, some are more appealing than others. Why should babies be any different? I have not lost my love for children’s books and literature, toys and stories and games, the cultural artifacts of childhood. So I guess, in that sense, I never identified with the Parental Caretaker role. I’d much rather be the Auntie with all the animals and the neato house with a secret passage behind a book case, and stuff like that. Many of the practical aspects of parenting put me right off. House and yard full of colorful plastic kinderspullen? Ack no. A booster seat in the back seat of the car for a kid until they are 4 foot nine inches? Good grief. Play dates? Dear lord. Gymboree? McDs playland? Nightmarish! But maybe I am in the world to be an example of other potentially neat stuff. Let’s hope. So yeah. If you’re weird, at least you’re not lonely! edited to add, I can’t help but wonder if this thread will inspire a corresponding pit thread about what maladjusted babyhaters we all are 😃 ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/83 "2007-08-20T07:25:28Z")
I like kids as long as their walking and talking clearly. Given a choice, girls around the ten to twelve range would be my preferance. I guess having never quite grown up myself, I can relate to 'em best. I will take a look at a friend’s newborn and say the appropriate stuff, but if I can avoid holding one, I will. OTOH, I was perfectly okay with my kids. Diapers, bottles and assorted slime didn’t bother me at all. However, I’m in NO hurry for grandkids. Coincidentally, I’m writing this on the day after my older son’s 21st birthday! ---
**Author:** ![Arabella\_Flynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@Arabella\_Flynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arabella_Flynn)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/84 "2007-08-20T11:39:50Z")
Girl here, about to be 26. I tell people that I have no interest in other humans until they’re old enough to have a decent conversation with me. Sometimes that’s about age five; in many cases it’s never. I don’t mind being around the kindergarten set, especially if they’re the bright ones who want to have solemn discussions with me about what dinosaurs ate or how ancient Egyptians pulled out dead peoples’ brains through their noses. Any younger than that and they’re just kind of squally lumps that wave limbs at you and stuff things in their mouths. Occasionally one of the relatives likes to pat me on the arm and reassure me, “It’ll be different when you have yours.” It certainly will! I won’t be able to return it to its rightful parent at the end of the night and go home to a house with no diapers in it! It would be a great disservice to myself AND the kid if I were to reproduce. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/85 "2007-08-20T12:01:14Z")
Have two of my own, and don’t go gaga over babies. I think newborns in particular are quite boring - and babies that coo back have a limited entertainment factor. But its polite to look at the new baby and coo and say how wonderful the new baby is. One of my coworkers just bought a new truck. Now, I don’t give a damn about things with wheels (far less than babies), but I went out and looked at it and told him it was a great looking truck. So I wouldn’t assume all the baby worshippers at work actually have a deep seated religious faith about babies. Some are going through the motions because its expected. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/86 "2007-08-20T12:09:15Z")
I loathe babies, as far as I’m concerned only mothers (oh yeah and fathers) like babies but kids are awesome! I had one child and one child only because baies are so loathsome but I work with children everyday. I love my child to death and back but I enjoy other peoples children. Children are fantastic people to be around; if you ever require an honest summary of you ask a child. They pull no punches, they haven’t learned how to do that yet but they are the most sincere, funniest, kindest, honest and just best people to be around. I would not have (give birth) to another child if you paid me but I would pay to spend my days with them. There is no more rewarding job in the world then teaching (unless by rewarding you mean money!). I fully understand why people don’t want to be parents but don’t negate kids in general. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/87 "2007-08-20T12:14:02Z")
[QUOTE=elfkin477] I’m thinking about doing this, assuming I find a like-minded fellow to help raise them. There are other reasons I’m not keen on reproducing, but I don’t like babies or toddlers. I like kids. I even like teenagers. But the under-three set holds little charm for me. I mean, they’re _cute_. I get that. I think they’re cute too, but I don’t want to touch them or be responsible for them until they can hold a conversation. [/QUOTE] Adoptive mom and bio mom here. I have to say think this one through very very very carefully. As an adoptive/bio mom, I call bullshit on the hormonal thing because they are “yours.” Breastfeeding my daughter gave me no warmer deeper feelings for her than I have for my son. Giving birth to her left no greater bond between us. However, I don’t call bullshit on the thought that a child hits a hell of a lot of developmental milestones between birth and two, and that the adult encouragement they get can make the difference. Nor that small kids reach a stage at which having a meaningful and STABLE relationship with an adult allows them to form attachments (attachment disorder is real), nor that many toddlers do not handle even minor change well, much less a new family. Of all the adoption possibilities, toddlers are by far the most difficult to handle and carry the biggest risk. And the toddlers available for placement have often had very difficult lives to date - internationally you are almost uniformly talking about children who have been institutionalized. Domestically you are talking about children who have been bounced through foster care and their bio parents until parental rights can be terminated. Read The Weaver’s Craft if this comment was made with any seriousness at all. I’d get a baby eleven months or younger - or I’d get a four year old - but I wouldn’t adopt a child between eleven months and four unless the circumstances were extenuating. Many people do this successfully and have wonderful experiences and are really able to add to their life and their child’s. But this isn’t something that should be done blindly because “babies aren’t interesting.” You may find life with an adopted toddler far more interesting than you anticipated. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/88 "2007-08-20T15:47:37Z")
You know, I don’t look down on people for not wanting kids at all or not finding them interesting or especially pleasant to be around. But using terms like “crotch fruit” and “ugly little bags of mostly water” about **people** who are guilty of nothing more than existing in a temporary state of infancy is really, well, ugly. Leave babies as far alone as you like, but at least try to remember you were one once. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/89 "2007-08-20T16:46:01Z")
All people are crotch fruits and ugly bags of mostly water (that last is a quote from a sci-fi show (Star Trek, I believe), in case you don’t recognize it). Here’s a deal - we won’t go into threads and the entire rest of the world where people are oohing and aahing over kids and use those terms, and you don’t come into this thread and tell us not to - how about that? In other words, what you’re seeing here is blow-back from people who don’t particularly like babies or children being almost completely stifled in the real world by a society that is shoving “parents and babies are SPECIAL” down our throats almost non-stop. We’re blowing off a little much-needed steam here. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/90 "2007-08-20T17:54:17Z")
Okay, I do see that I was being preachy. I absolutely understand the resentment at having some damp bundle of joy or even a picture of one thrust at you with the expectation that you must adore it or even feign polite interest. I was just surprised about the amount of revulsion directed at the babies themselves. It’s hard to understand what an 8 pound human being could do in their short lives to earn such contempt. The annoyance at the parents I do get, though. People need to learn to back off and that just because the kid is the light of your life doesn’t mean anyone else needs to share that emotion. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/91 "2007-08-20T18:18:43Z")
[QUOTE=Nutty Bunny] I’m just the opposite. I don’t know how to interact with 5 year old kids. I only know how to have adult conversations. My language is peppered with sexual innuendo, Seinfeld/Simpsons references and profanity. I never know what to say to children. \ I get all ooey-gooey over other peoples’ babies, too, but when their 5 year old wants to talk to me, I get all confuzzled. I suppose I’ll learn how to do it, as my daughter gets older. [/QUOTE] I’m this way too. I don’t want kids and will not be having any (thankfully my doc was fine with doing a tubal when I asked at age 27), but I love love love other people’s babies. As long as I can give them back. But when a new mom brings one in to work, I’m right there in line waiting to hold it. But as soon as they start walking and talking, they scare the crap out of me. What do you SAY to them? What do you do when they start a conversation with you? And what do you do when their parents look at you expectantly like you’re supposed to reply to whatever Junior just said? Or worse, you see a kid doing something they shouldn’t be and there aren’t any parental-looking people around. Should you tell the kid to stop? What if they don’t listen to you? Aaaaaaahhhhh! But babies can’t talk. So you just hold them and coo at them and rock them and they’re cute. I also discovered recently that part of it for me is that I love baby stuff. Little tiny dresses and suits for the infant to six-month range are just about the cutest things there are. I love going to Babies R’ Us or the baby section at Target just to look at the itty bitty clothes. I get so excited when I find out that a friend or coworker is pregnant because it means I can go and look at all the baby stuff! But I still don’t want one and know I’m not cut out to be a parent because it involves a hell of a lot more than an occasional trip to Babies R Us. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/92 "2007-08-20T18:21:07Z")
[QUOTE=cher3] I was just surprised about the amount of revulsion directed at the babies themselves. It’s hard to understand what an 8 pound human being could do in their short lives to earn such contempt. [/QUOTE] I’m really not sure what “comtempt” your seeing here. I took MacTech as being fecitious, and the majority tone in this thread seems to be that (a) babies are just not that interesting to the poster, and (b) parents of babies can be rude sometimes. Sorry, but its is a pet peeve of mine, when people assume I’m some baby-hating ogre because I’m not interesting in ahh-ing and coo-ing over their kid. Perhaps if you take issue with a specific post then address that post directly. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/93 "2007-08-20T18:44:09Z")
[QUOTE=sugar and spice] I’m really not sure what “comtempt” your seeing here. [/QUOTE] I agree that the majority tone is just “what’s all the fuss about and please leave me out of it.” Okay, if it’s facetious, then fine. But, really, “crotch dropping,” “very ugly versions of actual people?” I’ll stop this now, because I really am sympathetic. Baby culture can be extremely tedious. I stopped even going to parenting forums because they made my teeth hurt, not to mention my eyes. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/94 "2007-08-21T03:11:54Z")
Maybe this has already been asked but… Define “ga-ga”. I appreciate cute babies and politely try to find something nice to say about ugly ones. But I certainly don’t meltdown into a pool of grandmotherly goo just because one happens by (not even for my own grandkid). Even though I have two kids of my own, and the aforementioned grandkid, as I’ve made pretty clear in “control your kid” threads, I think there is WAY too much of a cult of the child mentality out there. My mom and I have a semi-snarky term for babies “nature’s little traps”. Or, as Bill Cosby said “awwwwww, let’s have one of those!!” Yeah, they’re cute when they’re little, but the cute is such a teensy tinesy part of what they really are. So I guess I vote a somewhat qualified “no, I’m not ga-ga” (depending upon what how far one has to go to be considered “ga-ga”. :D). ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/95 "2007-08-21T03:25:31Z")
[QUOTE=taxi78cab] But as soon as they start walking and talking, they scare the crap out of me. What do you SAY to them? What do you do when they start a conversation with you? And what do you do when their parents look at you expectantly like you’re supposed to reply to whatever Junior just said?. [/QUOTE] Let me give you some talking-to-toddler tips. First, assume that being a toddler is like being REALLY high all the time. Once you start from this premise, its easy. Completely everyday objects and simple facts are utterly fascinating. knock knock jokes are the most hilarious form of humor ever devised. etc. I once entranced a coworkers 3 & 4 years old for a good 10 minutes by waving a rainbow slinky in their face. Oooh, pretty colors! ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/96 "2007-08-21T06:02:36Z")
A coworker of mine just found out she’s pregnant with #4 welfare child. Yippee… Obviously, I’m not excited. (and Welfare is a whole other issue I’ll stay away from tonight.). I’m already sick of hearing all of the disgusting details about morning sickness, childbirth and episiotomies :eek:. Keep that stuff to yourself! As for the actual children - I’ve never gotten into the whole “It’s a Bay-Beee!” excitement. I don’t think I’ve ever held a baby and I’ve never had a desire to do so. Babies, children, teenagers = not for me. I haven’t changed my thoughts yet, so it’s unlikely that I will. 22/F/don’t want children ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/97 "2007-08-21T15:14:26Z")
[QUOTE=MaddyStrut] Some people may see this as fake, but I do praise and fuss over the babies of people that are important to me. Deep down, the baby is a bit boring to me, but I do like making my friends, family, and those I care about happy. And fussing over the baby does that. [/QUOTE] Yeah, that’s me pretty much. I’ll do the obligatory “Oooh, lookat da BA-BEE!” noises. I also make funny faces and talk to them in a silly voice because I am apparently hardwired to do that. :eek: But don’t ask me to do anything more than that. Right after my nephew was born, I went to see ma & son in the hospital. Swaddled nephew was handed to me to hold. I didn’t know how to decline gracefully, so I took him for a few minutes. All I could think was “Wow, just a few hours old. Kind of amazing. I’m SO glad he’s not mine.” Baby pictures: occasionally somebody pulls out a picture and the baby is just REALLY ugly. I remember one that looked like a tiny evil troll. Jeezopete. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/98 "2007-08-21T15:16:54Z")
cher3, I want to reiterate I don’t hate babies - I just don’t really want them anywhere near me. I also tend to call them “spawn”, that isn’t because of a hate for the baby or even the parent. It’s just my way of a little humor. I’ll even say it to my SO “Have they spawned yet?” but I would never say it around the parents or the kids. If parents are getting offended just reading this thread and seeing what some of us really do feel about kids at least some of the time, then I can’t really help that. It’s real life though that everyone with kids has a substantial - I guess advantage is the word, though not the exact one I am looking for - over the rest of us - there’s no denying that even though I am the politer, more well-spoken (future) daughter-in-law and way less stressful the other DIL has the attention of everyone in the family because she had a kid. If I once in a while say - when she’s not around - “it’s only because she spawned” it’s not because I mean harm, it’s just a way of blowing off a little steam. All that aside, I am still reading all of your responses, even though there’s not much to say. I disagree with the whole breast-feeding thing, though. I can’t speak for adoptive moms, as my adoptive mom was just as…negligent…but my real mom breast-fed me and then still dropped me out of her life once she had her precious two sons! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/99 "2007-08-21T15:27:10Z")
[QUOTE=Archergal] Yeah, that’s me pretty much. I’ll do the obligatory “Oooh, lookat da BA-BEE!” noises. I also make funny faces and talk to them in a silly voice because I am apparently hardwired to do that. :eek: But don’t ask me to do anything more than that. Right after my nephew was born, I went to see ma & son in the hospital. Swaddled nephew was handed to me to hold. I didn’t know how to decline gracefully, so I took him for a few minutes. All I could think was “Wow, just a few hours old. Kind of amazing. I’m SO glad he’s not mine.” Baby pictures: occasionally somebody pulls out a picture and the baby is just REALLY ugly. I remember one that looked like a tiny evil troll. Jeezopete. [/QUOTE] It wouldn’t surprise me if many of the ga-ga-ers you know in person are “social ga-ga-ers” They make a big deal out of a baby because its expected. And that a certain amount of the parents are “social photo flashers” - look, I’m carrying a photo of my kids - here it is. Oh, I had a baby, I suppose you all need to see it. (I’m both - though I admit after being pregnant there is a certain amount of “hey, look at this really cool thing I made” that happened.) And I suspect that some baby ga-ga-ers are really using the baby being shown off to remind them of their own new parent rush (it really can be a rush - I mean YOU MADE A PERSON! Granted, you didn’t need to do much other than sit around and eat - then go through delivery, but still - YOU MADE A PERSON! Its the ‘sort of amazing’ amplified by your own participation.) The problem is that some people take any encouragement at all and stretch it out of proportion. I believe if these people weren’t parents, they would be going on and on and on about the new shoes they bought, or what color they painted their living room, or the new person they are seeing, or their hernia surgery, or where they are going/went on vacation, or (God Forbid) their wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931/100 "2007-08-21T15:53:04Z")
I agree with **Dangerosa**. I react appropriately to babies, but I’m only interested in kids I can get to know as people. They don’t inspire in me the same instant cuteness meltdown that kittens do. My Mum is the same way. She doesn’t really like babies much in general. That being said, I am already ferociously interested in my baby, and he’s not due for another five months. Hormones and the abovementioned particularity- he’ll be a distinct(ish) individual. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-female-that-doesnt-go-ga-ga-over-babies/415931.md?page=6)