My apologies to the Board and to NotNow. It was harsh, especially to a new guest.
Peace.
Bin Ich Der Einzige Dummkopf?
¿Soy El Único Tonto?
Est-ce que Je Suis Le Seul Imbécile?
Sono L’Unico Sciocco?
Sou Eu O Único?
tomndeb, I, for one, have saved your “Yes, NotNow, there is a Cecil…” parody.
With your permission, I will, baring stroke, heart attack or other natural disaster,( I am quite old, after all,) repost it each New Years Eve eve, to carry on the true meaning of the SDMB.
You have now become a legend in your own time. I salute you! 
A slight nitpick, but the OP followed the question* with “inane introductory blathering”. The only question to be asked appeared in the thread title. It remains moot, as Polycarp would say, as to whether said question has been answered. Perhaps the OP could enlighten us one way or the other. And may I add my voice to those hoping that he, or she, will just us on a full-time basis. He, or she, is just the kind of member we are looking for.
- In GQ, where standards of accuracy and verisimilitude should be maintained even during the festive season.
I’m sorry, it does indeed appear this thread is in the wrong forum. What I really wanted to know, but in my grief did not clearly ask, is who writes all the straight dope for him (physically)?
Cecil’s editor and occasional amanuensis is Ed Zotti. There are those who believe that Cecil is no more than a trademark and that Ed is the only human involved (besides Slug), but we tend to scoff at such unbelievers. None of the unbelievers have yet proven that Cecil does not exist.
I suppose that I could move this thread to About This Message Board.
I believe in Cecil,
I believe in Cecil,
I believe in Cecil.
[Sung to the tune of Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar On Me]
tomndebb taught me a new word!
tomndebb taught me a new word!
tomndebb taught me a new word!
[/Sung to the tune of Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar On Me]
They say that when you learn a new word you should use it 10 times on the first day- then it will be yours forever.
Now I’m going to have to come up with 10 reasons to say “amanuensis” today. 
Much as I hate to be a credit hog, I actually wrote a “Yes Virginia” parody re: Cecil back in 98 or 99 on the AOL board. Useta be on Opal’s site, but it’s gone down the memory hole as far as I can tell. I know Tom/Deb didn’t crib it, except maybe in a George Harrisonesque “subconscious” way. Which is ironic, because I also wrote “He’s So Fine”, also about Cecil.
You’re not saying the Easter Bunny isn’t… You’re joking, right? Right? Please say you’re joking. Please. PLEASE!
How can Cecil not be real?! He once responded to Zamboni Father, years ago when it was still an AOL board, and called him “clueless” after my Dad called him “arrogant.” That is direct contact. Are you saying it was really just Ed Zotti? This is like saying the Tooth Fairy is just my Mom trying to fool me. There is just no way!
My aunt had some old Discover Magazines dating back through the 80’s. One issue, which I think was from 87’ had an article about Cecil, Ed, and The Straight Dope when it was just a Reader column. It had the same 
attitude that FAQs has now. It seems fuzzy, but Cecil is probably Ed’s alter ego. When I find that issue, I’ll post the date so it can be found.
IF Cecil isn’t real, then that just means that Ed is the cool one, and that’s alright with me.
Good one. Heh.
Well, then HE is not very real around here (64°N) this time of year.
But very real in the summer.
Trés interesting.
I just wanna know when his flippin’ birthday is.
Cecil Adams is quite real.
So are unicorns.
Hey, Google for images about unicorns – you’ll find page after page of artists’ renditions showing essentially the same thing: a horselike creature with a spiral horn emerging from mid-forehead.
The question, “Do horselike creatures bearing horns frequent the rain forests of deepest Venezuela or Gabon?” is a quite different question.
There is a common consent as to what the term “unicorn” references – that there are no extant animals which can be displayed in the San Diego Zoo which match that common-consent referent, is moot.
“Is there a man who files his 1040 income tax return under the name ‘Cecil Adams’ and who writes the Straight Dope column for the Chicago Reader?” is a quite different question from “Is there really a Cecil Adams?”
And just as Nicholas of Myra, canonized bishop with a generous heart, gave rise to a set of legendary images involving erythrorhynchous caribou, so the man who produces the SD columns, and posts here far too seldom, has given rise to his own legend.
Note to self: Do not post in GQ looking for straight, informative answers.
No, NotNow, there is not a person named Cecil Adams. Obviously, there is an accepted notion of an entity of some kind by that name, but it’s not a human being; it’s more like Uncle Sam or the Tooth Fairy.
I have yet to see anything approaching “proof” that Cecil is not a human.
Now, slug, on the otherhand…you just might get my vote. :eek:
From the United States Patent and Trademark Office:
Emphasis mine.
The same wording like “fanciful name” was used for Ann Landers, for instance. It doesn’t mean that the person isn’t real, it only means that the name is registered.