# Am I the only one this annoys? (Dad/daughter stuff) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 7, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084 "2012-02-07T16:47:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/43 "2012-02-07T20:49:44Z")
After reading about the Canadian case Muffin references and how the father refers to his sexually active daughters “cuckolding” him, I became even less comfortable with this sort of reference than I had been before. It feels as if some men think of their daughters, and their daughters’ sexuality, as something they own and control, and that someone seeking a sexual relationship with a daughter is infringing almost on a property right. I’m sure most men don’t mean it that way, but it has always struck me that way. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/44 "2012-02-07T20:53:09Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > those awful boys who [del]deceived me with their lies[/del] introduced me to oral sex > [@Hello\_Again](#): > > we met in mutually convenient spots to make out and quote from Monty Python together. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj02dhZBGZw](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj02dhZBGZw) ? > [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Underlying so many of these responses is the idea that sex is a fearful, painful, unpleasant act that a girl would obviously only engage in because some nasty boy has MADE her do it, most likely extracting her cooperation with lies if not blackmail. While there are people who do think of women and sex that way, it isn’t necessary to think that to be more on guard with one’s daughter than one’s son. One only needs to think it’s more likely to be fearful, painful, unpleasant for the daugther than the son and that it’s more likely for the daughter to be the victim of lies, blackmail and manipulation than the son. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/45 "2012-02-07T21:09:21Z")
I don’t have kids. I’ve heard other guys spouting this crap over the years. I think a lot of it is about looking like a badass to other adults. Teenage boys don’t give a shit how big you are or how many guns you have. They will still do thier best to nail your daughter and worry about the aftermath later. Maybe. One of my usual responses when I hear the tough guy talk about kicking the asses of the boys hanging around the daughter is “What if he wins? Does he get to do as he pleases with your daughter?”. They never seem to take into consideration that the boy could get a lucky punch in or maybe has access to a bigger gun collection. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/46 "2012-02-07T21:16:43Z")
Fathers are protective. You’d think they were shitty fathers if they weren’t. And yes, fathers remember what little shits teenage boys can be, and yes, sometimes can be in the right place at the right time to help prevent their daughters from being exploited. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/47 "2012-02-07T21:18:38Z")
I’m not a dad but I have a younger female relative. The situation’s bugged me too, but not as much as you. I generally take a hands off approach, its her life, not mine ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/48 "2012-02-07T21:22:40Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > I’m not a dad but I have a younger female relative. The situation’s bugged me too, but not as much as you. I generally take a hands off approach, its her life, not mine My niece and I were walking at a local music festival last year. She is an extremely attractive 19-year-old, and a drunk young moron about her age came up and said some very inappropriate things to her. I told him to watch his mouth and back the fuck off. She thanked me for it. Different strokes, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/49 "2012-02-07T21:31:57Z")
I have chatted with my older nephew about agressive females, yes. I had a friend in high school who was pressured into sex before he was ready and it affected him greatly - I am not unaware of the ramifications. I also encountered one or two guard-dog Moms during my high school career, who wanted to make sure their sweet boys wouldn’t be overwhelmed by my charms. They could be nasty. Of course I will talk to Celtling about the importance of making this decision carefully, and keeping your partners’ needs, readiness, etc. in mind. But if you are attempting to deny that a female is vastly more likely than a male to be put in that position then you’re just not in reality. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/50 "2012-02-07T21:35:10Z")
In this day and age, I could certainly see a father being more worried for the sons than for the daughters. If she gets pregnant, she can opt out at any time. If he gets her pregnant, and she decides to keep it, he’s on the hook for the next eighteen plus years. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/51 "2012-02-07T21:41:24Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > So you wouldn’t really be concerned about your teenage son getting a girl pregnant, because hey, he can run away easily? No, but not as concerned about a daughter. There are some real differences between the sexes, it’s not a hypothetical world. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/52 "2012-02-07T21:45:51Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > In this day and age, I could certainly see a father being more worried for the sons than for the daughters. If she gets pregnant, she can opt out at any time. If he gets her pregnant, and she decides to keep it, he’s on the hook for the next eighteen plus years. Oh yeah, and she gets off scot free?!?! Listen folks, I’m not being sexist here. Women get pregnant, men don’t. It’s a real difference. Every man should do the right thing, as should every woman. But in reality it doesn’t work out that way. And when it comes to pregnancy, women generally are more greatly affected overall, and in terms of health, greatly so. ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/53 "2012-02-07T21:46:05Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > My niece and I were walking at a local music festival last year. She is an extremely attractive 19-year-old, and a drunk young moron about her age came up and said some very inappropriate things to her. I told him to watch his mouth and back the fuck off. > > She thanked me for it. > > Different strokes, I guess. No, not different strokes, different situations - chasing off some random punk is different from intimidating every possible boyfriend your (generic) daughter brings home - someone she _chooses_ to be with. > [@Fly\_Sparge](#): > > I think it is a silly thing to say as well. > > So, about two years ago I decided that my daughter and I (who is now 12) should go one some ‘mock dates’ a few times a year so that she can see how a gentleman should treat her on a date. Open doors, order food for her, proper manners - all of those little things that separates regular guys from those who actually want to try to treat her the way I want her to be treated. > > It’s fun for her, cause she gets to go to the restaurants that she likes, and participate in activities that are fun for her (bowling, roller skating, loitering around the mall, etc.). But it is my hope that she will expect this treatment from potential future boyfriends which will solve any of those cleaning shotgun problems (I’d have to invest in a shotgun first, learn how to clean them, the gun owning list goes on and on). Maybe I’m misunderstanding you here, but that strikes me as a bit old-fashioned. A guy can open as many doors and order as much food as he wants, he can still be a Grade A jerk. Also, order food for her? She can’t do that herself? Ye Olde manners isn’t all a teenaged boy should be judged on, but maybe this is just reflecting my not fully understanding American dating customs. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/54 "2012-02-07T21:52:26Z")
I had a friend who justified his 21-year old sister’s 11pm curfew (seriously :rolleyes:) by saying things like “we (him and his dad) don’t want her going out and having sex all night.” He didn’t seem to believe me when I told him that there was a very good chance that she was having sex all day anyways, and simply not telling them about it because they had stupid ideas about women. Also, this is the moron who told me that girls should have an earlier curfew and not go to bars because guys go out and get drunk and get violent and it’s dangerous. He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that this was a better justification for locking the guys up at night and letting the girls stay out in safety. “Oh, no, because guys _like_ to get drunk” was his answer. It’s sexist, pure and simple. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/55 "2012-02-07T21:55:18Z")
I probably made a few of those jokes when my daughter was a baby. However by the time she got to dating age, her self confidence and self esteem were both excellent. Coupled with that she had inherited my sarcastic sense of humor. Because of these factors, frankly I never worried about her dating. If anything I felt sorry for the guys she kicked to the curb that did not meet her standards. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/56 "2012-02-07T22:00:45Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > Maybe I’m misunderstanding you here, but that strikes me as a bit old-fashioned. A guy can open as many doors and order as much food as he wants, he can still be a Grade A jerk. Also, order food for her? She can’t do that herself? Ye Olde manners isn’t all a teenaged boy should be judged on, but maybe this is just reflecting my not fully understanding American dating customs. THANK YOU I was wondering if I was crazy. I would be pissed right off if any guy ordered for me. How does this even work? Does he ask what I want to eat, or just assumes that he knows what I want? To me, that just screams patronizing. I understand that that is how it was done once upon a time, but it just seems a bit sexist to me. If my daughter told me that her date ordered for her, alarm bells would be ringing in my head that he doesn’t consider her an equal. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/57 "2012-02-07T22:12:29Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > No, but not as concerned about a daughter. There are some real differences between the sexes, it’s not a hypothetical world. It depends on the situation though. I’d rather my daughter get pregnant by an irresponsible boy than my son get an irresponsible girl pregnant. An irresponsible teenage father probably just won’t be around much. An irresponsible teenage mother might use drugs while pregnant or something. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/58 "2012-02-07T22:17:48Z")
It’s always given me kind of a creepy incestuous vibe. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/59 "2012-02-07T22:17:58Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > It depends on the situation though. I’d rather my daughter get pregnant by an irresponsible boy than my son get an irresponsible girl pregnant. An irresponsible teenage father probably just won’t be around much. An irresponsible teenage mother might use drugs while pregnant or something. I am not speaking about the exceptions, which I am well aware of, but the more general cases. In either circumstance I would be concerned for my grandchild. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/60 "2012-02-07T22:27:33Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I am not speaking about the exceptions, which I am well aware of, but the more general cases. In either circumstance I would be concerned for my grandchild. Teenage parents being irresponsible is not much of an exception. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/61 "2012-02-07T22:41:43Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > It’s always given me kind of a creepy incestuous vibe. Good lord. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Plumbkrazy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Plumbkrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plumbkrazy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/62 "2012-02-07T22:43:33Z")
As long as my daughters live under my roof, I will be involved in their social lives, and i will be a dick about it if I choose to be. If they don’t like it, they are free to move out the day they each turn 18. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084.md?page=4)