# Am I the only one this annoys? (Dad/daughter stuff) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 7, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084 "2012-02-07T16:47:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/63 "2012-02-07T22:47:44Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > It feels as if some men think of their daughters, and their daughters’ sexuality, as something they own and control, and that someone seeking a sexual relationship with a daughter is infringing almost on a property right. I’m sure most men don’t mean it that way, but it has always struck me that way. You know, I hadn’t really thought about it like that before, but I think that kind of nails what I’m trying to say, and why I get so irritated about it. Being concerned about your kids (of both genders) and worrying about what kind of trouble they might get in while dating is one thing, but treating girls like they must be carefully protected and controlled is not cool. I just don’t know why such a large segment of society thinks that’s funny and a good topic for jokes. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/64 "2012-02-07T22:48:58Z")
Naw, those conversations tend to go like this: “Sophie, in a few years you’re going to hit puberty and start dating…” “Dad! You’re grossing me out!” Of course, the lass is 10. But, seriously, no - I don’t take that attitude at all. I want my daughter to have a happy, fun romantic life. Why be a dipwad about it? ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/65 "2012-02-07T22:52:32Z")
> [@Plumbkrazy](#): > > As long as my daughters live under my roof, I will be involved in their social lives, and i will be a dick about it if I choose to be. If they don’t like it, they are free to move out the day they each turn 18. There’s some airtight logic. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/66 "2012-02-07T22:54:36Z")
> [@Plumbkrazy](#): > > i will be a dick about it if I choose to be. Since giving arguments related to the interests of your daughters would be useless, just remember that one day you’ll be dependent on them. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/67 "2012-02-07T23:09:17Z")
> [@Plumbkrazy](#): > > As long as my daughters live under my roof, I will be involved in their social lives, and i will be a dick about it if I choose to be. If they don’t like it, they are free to move out the day they each turn 18. That;s how you end up with a baby with a dog collar. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/68 "2012-02-07T23:30:24Z")
> [@Plumbkrazy](#): > > As long as my daughters live under my roof, I will be involved in their social lives, and i will be a dick about it if I choose to be. If they don’t like it, they are free to move out the day they each turn 18. I’m curious: do you have only daughters, or do you have sons as well? If you do have sons (or hypothetically) would you be as involved in their social lives as you would your daughters’? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/69 "2012-02-07T23:59:17Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > You’re kidding right? Pregnancy is not a health danger to the guy. He may be found liable for support in the courts, but he can run away easily, and he’s only required to supply money, not real care and love for a child. He won’t have to breastfeed or have a significant portion of life spent caring for children. Life isn’t fair. Women are just as capable of giving up custody of their child, and it is completely legal for a father to take custody of his child and collect child support from the mother. This does happen less often, and the women still has to deal with the physical effects of pregnancy and childbirth. But whenever I can I like to stick my finger in the “men have to pay child support” myth. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/70 "2012-02-08T00:04:29Z")
I think that the Hyuk Hyuk at the beginning should tip off that it is a joke. Jokes aren’t meant to be a lesson in Male/Female power relationships, sexuality, empowerment/emasculation. They are meant to be jokes. Short, quick, to The fact that the age of 30, rather than a sex change from female to male indicates that there is no male dominance thing going on. I don’t think that any male that has ever had sex with a female believes that the father of said female allowed her to have a date before the 30th birthday because he was a libertine who did not care for his daughter. I don’t think that anybody is really trying to keep the daughter in a burka (sp), and covering it with any of these jokes. In short, it is only a joke. No need to make it an internecine affair. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/71 "2012-02-08T00:04:45Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Does anyone else (particularly women) get _really_ annoyed at the whole “Hyuk-hyuk, my daughter isn’t gonna date anybody until she’s 30, and if my teenage daughter wants to date a boy she’s got to bring him home first so I can intimidate him by showing him my hunting trophies/cleaning my shotgun in front of him/other manly intimidating pursuit”? I’ve seen women do it, too. I do find it a bit off-putting. I can understand wanting the boy to know you will be protecting your daughter, so hurting her will bring a shitload of pain down on him. And that’s really where the balance of showing off the guns and whatnot goes down for daughter’s dates vs son’s dates. It is assumed that the woman is not nearly as likely or inclined to force the boy into something he doesn’t want. Whereas it is known to happen the other way. “Well, you see we’re way out here in the boonies, and I know you just thought we were going to do some necking, but I want a blowjob or you’re walking back.” Of course with cell phones that situation has more recourses than the olden days. > [@Ogre](#): > > My niece and I were walking at a local music festival last year. She is an extremely attractive 19-year-old, and a drunk young moron about her age came up and said some very inappropriate things to her. I told him to watch his mouth and back the fuck off. Totally different situation. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/72 "2012-02-08T00:18:37Z")
I have always been more minded to let any suitor know that she has trained with the rifle at ranges since the age of eight. I would think her retaliation would be more painful. The truth is that I tell **my daughter** she can’t date until after grad school to get ensconced in her mind that school is more important than her body’s desires, even though I know in adolescence, that though pattern probably won’t win. It isn’t something I normally tell other adults… ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/73 "2012-02-08T00:19:39Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Women are just as capable of giving up custody of their child, and it is completely legal for a father to take custody of his child and collect child support from the mother. > > This does happen less often, and the women still has to deal with the physical effects of pregnancy and childbirth. But whenever I can I like to stick my finger in the “men have to pay child support” myth. Yep! But I waived child support, and her new mom is awesome! ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/74 "2012-02-08T00:21:24Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > That;s how you end up with a baby with a dog collar. Not sure what this means. My daughter chose a pink punk rock dog collar for herself as fashion at age 7- am I a bad dad? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/75 "2012-02-08T00:22:41Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Good lord. :rolleyes: Hey, stuff like that “mock date” post isn’t helping. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/76 "2012-02-08T00:50:03Z")
> [@gurujulp](#): > > Not sure what this means. > > My daughter chose a pink punk rock dog collar for herself as fashion at age 7- am I a bad dad? [Here’s the commercial the comment references.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-zG5U0v3gU) ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/77 "2012-02-08T01:00:08Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I’m really beginning to think I’m the only person on earth that this annoys, and I wanted to check with the Dope to see if folks here support my hypothesis. Yes, it creeps me the hell out. My thought is, “Do you actually spend your time thinking about your daughter’s sexuality that much?” Creeeepy. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/78 "2012-02-08T01:15:13Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > But, seriously, no - I don’t take that attitude at all. I want my daughter to have a happy, fun romantic life. Why be a dipwad about it? My thoughts exactly. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/79 "2012-02-08T01:44:39Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Wait, how so? You really have to ask? If you go through with the pregnancy, who’s going to be waddling like a duck, have to try to stay in school through it all, and who is (invariably) going to have to take care of the kid\*? And do you know what happens during an abortion? Are you saying that it’s more difficult for the boy thinking “I lost a kid” than for the girl who has just had said kid scraped from within her and has to wear pads beause of the remnants coming out? Yeah, I’m being gross and harsh, and perhaps I’m a neanderthol, but it’s very easy to see why a pregnancy - carried to term or not, is more of a big deal for a girl. I make the jokes about not dating till 30, but then, I also tell my kid that she’s to leave home by 16. So take you pick about how I treat women. - there’s all sorts of wrong with this, but I hope you get the general point that the girl is (probably) gong to be the one with a screaming baby in the house, not to say that the guy won’t be offering financial support. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/80 "2012-02-08T01:50:51Z")
> [@Plumbkrazy](#): > > As long as my daughters live under my roof, I will be involved in their social lives, and i will be a dick about it if I choose to be. If they don’t like it, they are free to move out the day they each turn 18. I wouldn’t put it quite like that… for me, so long as they are living at home, they are still “my babies”, and I will be involved in what they are doing. Once they are adult enough to manage their own lives (including house et al) - then they can do whatever they like. In other words - no stayover boyfriends till after they leave home, once they have left home and come back to visit - then boyfriend can stay with them. And I have two daughters - aged 7 and 18 months. And my daughters are being taught that they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to do, and it is up to them to control that. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/81 "2012-02-08T01:56:37Z")
> [@Ludy](#): > > THANK YOU > > I was wondering if I was crazy. I would be pissed right off if any guy ordered for me. How does this even work? Does he ask what I want to eat, or just assumes that he knows what I want? To me, that just screams patronizing. I understand that that is how it was done once upon a time, but it just seems a bit sexist to me. > > If my daughter told me that her date ordered for her, alarm bells would be ringing in my head that he doesn’t consider her an equal. Well generally speaking I will order for the whole table (as in, ask them what they want and then relay it to the waiter, so that the waiter only has to speak to one person) What does that make me? ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084/82 "2012-02-08T03:01:17Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > What does that make me? Considerate to the table and the waitstaff, which is great. I’m fine with this definition of “ordering for the woman”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-the-only-one-this-annoys-dad-daughter-stuff/612084.md?page=5)