The wood tables (and the piano) actually have to be polished as in waxed. You wax them like you do a car. Now, the ceramics can just be polished with Rustic or something. And Castle is okay for the crystal.
We did consider something like that. There’s a guy who’s interested in living upstairs at reduced rent in exchange for building a den and mudroom in the basement. But that sort of thing so seldom pans out well.
Oh. Yeah, I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking on that kind of job-I do think the woman in the OP should have said upfront, “You know, I think you’re looking for someone much more skilled than I am,” and then declined.
(I’d be scared to try and polish a couch that expensive! I’d just throw slipcovers on when company wasn’t there and have done with it! But that’s me).
Seriously, Lib. A live-in maid/cook could be a good fit for you. More expensive but you’ll have their full attention. And you’ll never have to do laundry, dishes or cook again!
We’ve seriously considered something like that here so the new baby never has to go to day care. Might be it could work for you.
I didn’t really think about it that way, but this is a fair point.
Well, assuming you’re willing to pay for it, I don’t think you’re being too demanding.
My great Aunt is rather particular about how her house is kept - she has a gal come in twice a week for two full days to do all of her cleaning. She has a number of irreplacable items in her home (ivory inlaided oriental screen, a number of original art works, special carpets, a boston fern the size of a Buick, etc - it actually looks quite a bit like a museum).
She interviewed until she found someone she liked, who provided excellent references, and was willing to learn how to do the particulars. She then spent some time training the gal to do things exactly how she wants them and it’s worked out ok - the woman has a known source of income for at least two days a week, and my Aunt’s treasures are properly cared for.
Good luck.
I really suggest you try to go independently rather than go through a service. If a housekeeper costs twelve dollars an hour and you hire her independently, she keeps all that money and can make a reasonable living. If you go to one of those big services (Merry Maids, etc.) the housekeeper only keeps minimum wage or a bit over, and probably does not make enough to eat full meals every day, have a room of her own, take care of health problems etc. Plus, you will get better service as they are motivated to please you, not their cost-cutting employers.
Almost no housekeepers do windows- some of the reasons have been stated, but mostly the reason is that it is impossible to do a perfect job on them. Nobody wants to sit there washing a window ten time while someone watches over them and points out the inevitable streaks.
Do what hundreds of people do: “Hire” non-documented immigrant “slave” labor.
Thanks for the how to on floor polishing.
What I’d really like to do is have you, Liberal, come over and clean up my house. Sounds like you’d do a bang up job.
If so, how do you approach explaining what you’re looking for?
Get on the computer and type out an itemized list of the things you want done every time the cleaning lady visits. Don’t make candidates play little guessing games when they visit your home: they’re not going to criticize ANYTHING about your house at a job interview, how dumb would they have to be to do that? Show them the list, ask them to read it, and then ask if they think they can/will deliver what you want.
How do you find someone who can appreciate the toil and money that went into restoring a house like this?
You don’t need someone to “appreciate” your house, you just need someone to understand what you want and do the job correctly. Their opinion of the house and whether or not they comprehend its wonders is irrelevant as long as they’re getting the place clean and not stealing from you.
Or am I asking too much, and need to just go ahead and set aside Saturdays for buffing and polishing?
Having read what you expect, you are asking too much if you are wanting to pay less than $25 an hour. IMHO. (You paid $15,000 for a freakin couch, so don’t tell me you “can’t afford” $25 an hour. You’ll pay more than that for a cleaning service.)
FWIW, I don’t think a cleaning service is necessarily the way to go. Everyone I know that has a maid refuses to use a cleaning service because they suck. They don’t do a very good job and don’t particularly care whether or not you’re happy. Plus they treat their employees like shit.
College students need money, BAD, and if you could find one that could/would do the job I’m sure you’d have no problems getting them to show up if you paid cash. Don’t balk: a college kid might be young, but they are YOUNG. This means they have energy and are probably in good physical condition. They may even work quicker than someone older, too. This job to them might be the difference between having a life and being stuck in the dorm every weekend, so you are just as likely to find one to take this job seriously as you would someone older. College students will bust their asses for regular pizza and beer money.
This job would also be great for a stay at home parent. Maybe find a young mother whose kids are in school during the day. She could drop 'em off at school and come to your place a coupla times a week and work a bit.
As a former cleaning lady, I have 2 bits of unsolicited advice:
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Make sure your cleaning supplies are well stocked.
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Be good to him/her. It is VERY hard to find someone who will clean your house well and not raid your medicine cabinet, steal jewelry, etc., trust me. When you find someone who is good at this sort of stuff, you’ve found someone you want to keep around. If they’re making you happy, make them happy. Don’t be a dick about letting them take a break. Offer them snacks and stuff. Find out their birthday and give 'em a present. Little things like that go a long way. No, you don’t have to be friends and sit for hours on end talking, just treat 'em like you would anyone else, not just “the help.” Do this and you’ll have someone who will show up on short notice because unexpected company is coming in 3 hours.
I run a cleaning service. The number one (and maybe only) reason we don’t do windows is INSURANCE COSTS. My worker’s compensation currently runs 11% of payroll. If we offer to do windows, then it’s 23% of payroll. That’s an enormous, ridiculous bump that doesn’t differentiate between wiping a window with window cleaning fluid and cloth and scaffold work. I went round and round with the insurance folks over this.
I’d say that insurance should be a big question mark for you. How easy is it to ruin your expensive leather couch or beautiful floors? Are you insured for it if you hire someone that’s an independent contractor? What if they pull up with a truck one day and take all of your stuff? Or leave a cigarette burning somewhere and accidentally torch your place?
If you hire someone as an independent contractor and you pay them over $600 in one year you must issue them a 1099 form. And then they are obligated to pay ALL taxes out of that $12 an hour.
If they work for you for a while, make sure you are insured for claims against your assets for disability when they come down with repetitive stress syndrome. Cleaning, even not to the level you’ve asked, is serious hard work. RTS (Carpal Tunnel like things) are a huge insurance problem in California right now, and will likely spread to other places. For a while it was not possible to insure a new cleaning business in California.
Also, double check that your homeowner’s policy does not specifically exclude maids. Many do.
You can probably find a service that will do this for you, but it will not be cheap. If you live in a sufficiently large area you might check into a concierge service that can arrange to have these items done. We would do most of the stuff you ask, although I’d probably balk at the floors.
A couple more suggestions.
Specify that you want them to use your cleaners and vacuums. The ones used by cleaners are a little too harsh, IMO. The amount of wear on your house will increase with their industrial chemicals.
Get someone to come in and bid the job by the hour. It will be an interview and bid situation in one.
Ask for suggestions. If you lived near me, I’d suggest our business cleaner, it’s a couple that are great! She does houses during the day and businesses with her hub at night. Nice kids, too, very well behaved despite the fact that they are waiting.
I do admit I miss the last group. They couldn’t clean, but it was a group of dream 18-19 year old russian boys.
My wife owns her own housecleaning business.
She would do the dusting you ask for (she has clients with the same sort of needs) but I don’t think she would do the buffing.
As others have pointed out, if you want more service, it costs more money.
My wife charges by the hour and if you want every knick-knack picked up, dusted and put back, it’s obviously going to take longer than a more superficial cleaning.
What part of the Southern US? I’ll do it all for $400 a week. Cook dinner, too.
I would cheerfully send my former cleaning lady your way - you two would be a match made in heaven - but she was forced to retire because of her health (rheumatoid arthritis and lupus.)
She has diagnosed OCD. It’s under control, and that’s a good thing, because before it was she would clean non-stop. With her meds, she was able to take her cleaning issue and turn it into a profitable business, rather than a sickness. She really WOULD assume that anyone would want their house to be museum-quality clean at all times. When I told her it wasn’t necessary to completely dismantle my light fixtures and clean them inside and out every single week, she looked at me like I was nuts.
When I find her, my search will be over! 
I’m thinking that Adrian Monk would marry this woman. And finally be happy.
This is a great piece of advice. Nobody in his right mind is going to march into your house for a job interview and tell you all the parts that are dirty, not even if you ask them to. Playing tricks on prospective employees is not a good way to find and retain the best candidate.
You never will find someone like that. Never. It’s YOUR house and you have restored it with love and care and sweat. It’s just a really really nice house to someone else. Nobody in the history of the world has ever fully appreciated how much work went into someone else’s house.
I agree that leaving things undone and waiting for the cleaning lady to point them out to you is not a good way of interviewing. I would not criticize a potential client’s home, and everyone has different personal standards of what ‘clean’ is. You just need to be clear in your requirements and find someone willing to complete them. Maybe after she knows you and the house better she will be able to find things on her own that need to be done.
It’s better to be clear and specific than to hope a person can guess what you want, or be your ‘cleaning soulmate.’ (It’s like she was completing my thoughts! She cleaned things I never knew needed to be cleaned until she did them… )
You may need to run an ad that lists some of the unique requirements you have, that way you will weed out the vacuum and dusters and get people who are willing to do specialty cleaning. Many people who hire a cleaning service just want someone to keep the mess under control and the place livable since they don’t have time to clean, they don’t care if the house is picture perfect, and that’s what many services cater to.
Your house sounds lovely. My family wouldn’t be able to live in it. (I can just picture the dog trying to nap on the couch…)
I took the suggestion of making a list. Here it is.
Master Bedroom: Nothing.
Master Bath: Clean/dust all surfaces thoroughly. Vacuum.
Half-bath: Dust walls and ceiling. Clean/dust all surfaces thoroughly. Vacuum.
Dining Room: Dust walls and ceiling. Polish table, chairs, highchair, and hutch. Dust chandelier. Buff floor.
Kitchen: Dust walls. Clean appliances. Vacuum mats. Dust ceiling fan. Buff floor.
Utility Room: Dust walls and ceiling. Vacuum.
Great Room: Dust walls and ceiling. Vacuum carpet and hearth. Dust log furnace and entertainment equipment. Clean glass tables, lamps, and knick-knacks. Polish sofa, love seat, chair, and ottoman. Polish rolltop desk (outside only). Polish grandfather clock. Dust ceiling fan.
Parlor: Dust walls and ceiling. Polish piano and ceramics, tables vases and silk flowers, wood portion of Victorian chairs, and tea table. Buff floor. Dust chandelier, portraits, and crystal clock.
Hallway: Dust walls and ceiling. Buff floor. Polish commode. Dust lamp and artwork.
Stairway: Dust walls and artwork. Vacuum. Polish banister.
Upstairs Vestibule: Dust walls and ceiling fan. Buff floor.
Upstairs Rose Room: Vacuum. Polish dresser and nightstand. Dust artwork. Dust chair. Dust and clean mirror.
Upstairs Bath: Dust walls and ceiling. Clean/dust all surfaces thoroughly. Vacuum.
Upstairs Writing Room: Nothing.
Basement/Garage/Barn: Nothing.