# Am I too easily offended? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 29, 2019, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269 "2019-06-29T18:36:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/21 "2019-07-01T04:17:44Z")
> [@lingyi](#): > > To answer your subject question, yes you are and acting like a schoolboy especially regarding sex. Just because you like a little afternoon delight doesn’t mean that she does. Particularly so since she tries to limit the time spent. > > This may be because as women get older they don’t get/stay as moist as they used to. I’ve had women in their fifties tell me that as they’ve gotten older, having sex hurts\*, but they don’t want to tell her husband/boyfriend because they’ll think they (the woman) isn’t turned on by them any more. > > \*For some reason, women of all ages love to give me TMI! 😕 I don’t think you’re being fair. I did not get the sense that the OP was insisting on having sex at all, let alone in the afternoon. He just wanted her to be honest about whether and how much she was interested, instead of being passive aggressive about the timing while gushing about how much she loved it. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/22 "2019-07-01T04:59:39Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I don’t think you’re being fair. I did not get the sense that the OP was insisting on having sex at all, let alone in the afternoon. He just wanted her to be honest about whether and how much she was interested, instead of being passive aggressive about the timing while gushing about how much she loved it. ``` If she would have said she wasn't in the mood or tired or whatever I would have been fine, but she left me laying in the bed waiting while she played games on the computer, I do get pissed when someone is not honest. I spent 20 years with my first wife and 24 yrs with my girlfriend and never had issues like I have with this one every time I go out to see her. I ended it completely tonight and cut all ties where we can't contact one another. It was a case of I was more turned on to her than she was to me, in all fairness I have been in reverse situations and it really is hard to fake. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/23 "2019-07-01T07:21:52Z")
This thread seems so surreal to me: Both are 70 Kids are in the house She’s playing video games on the TV What is going on?! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/24 "2019-07-01T12:59:52Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > This thread seems so surreal to me: > > Both are 70 > Kids are in the house > She’s playing video games on the TV > > What is going on?! 🙂 Baby boomers, amirite!? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/25 "2019-07-01T18:58:29Z")
Were you ever tempted to say something totally off the wall while she was playing her games, like “I’m going to chop up your cat into slices and serve them for dinner.” “I don’t know…” ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/26 "2019-07-01T19:12:44Z")
When she says “I don’t know” I’m picturing it done in the same way these folks are saying [well, I don’t know about that](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvT_gqs5ETk) ---
**Author:** ![TimfromNapa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TimfromNapa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimfromNapa)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/27 "2019-07-01T19:53:44Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I broke up a relationship yesterday after 4 months. I figured better now than waiting. For the most part we got along very well and I have to admit I usually feel very comfortable around her and I am very attracted to her. We are both the same age @70 years old. My biggest issue is I feel I am being patronized verbally while her actions I consider to be often rude and dismissive of me. She always says the right things. > > A major pet peeve I have that will get my blood boiling and I have to really make an effort to shake off is a comment she often makes to my comments. We might be talking about a home or car repair or a pet issue or something about music and singers, it could literally be anything. If I happen to know something about the issue I will make a comment based on what I know. Her standard reply is " I don’t know". If I were to reverse the parties and she were to comment on something I was wondering about I would acknowledge her answer and possibly challenge it or expand on it. When it first started happening I found it only a minor irritation but as time went on it has now become a blood boiler. Anyway, I heard it one too many times and decided to pack my bags. She says I am being too sensitive and that she is really in love with me. > > The other issue is sex, she goes on and on about how much I turn her on yet she always seems to manage to squeeze our sex capades into narrow time slots right before the kids get home. If she really enjoyed it as much as she says she would want to get started the minute they leave the house. I would have no problem if she said honestly we need to work on some things but all she ever says it how great it is when I know better. I don’t think I am being too sensitive. Did you confront her with your feelings? If so, how did she respond. If not, your really should. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/28 "2019-07-01T20:22:02Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > When she says “I don’t know” I’m picturing it done in the same way these folks are saying [well, I don’t know about that](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvT_gqs5ETk) Know it is a flick of the hair, a no headhshake and a very quick " I don’t know" Almost inaudible. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/29 "2019-07-01T20:38:23Z")
Our history goes back to when we were pre teens. She always had exceptionally good looks and attracted wealthy men who would buy her very expensive gifts. She knows how to play men. ( 7 marriages). Past 20 years she has settled down for the most part and stayed out of relationships. She has become a very good and loving grandmother to her grand-kids, almost to a fault. They fight over turns to stay with her. She has a lot of good qualities and is still very sexy but patronizing men has become second nature to her I think. A few weeks ago when I had first decided that we should end the relationship she calls me on the phone sounding all broken hearted and wanting to fix things. I didn’t give her an answer at that point and when she thought she had hung up the phone we were still connected. She immediately broke out into a joyful little melody. I cracked at that point because I knew I wasn’t dealing with a typical woman. She had basicaly just faked the entire conversation I am pretty sure. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/30 "2019-07-01T21:31:52Z")
Time to shake the dust from your sandals, my friend, and move on. You must be feeling at least a bit of relief right about now… ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/31 "2019-07-01T22:34:23Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Time to shake the dust from your sandals, my friend, and move on. You must be feeling at least a bit of relief right about now… I know I should be and I think once the dust settles I will know I made the right decision but I have to admit it is not easy right now. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/32 "2019-07-01T22:46:32Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > You missed the point, the " I don’t know" is in response to a statement not a question. Example, I told her yesterday that her ceiling fan with lights should not have been installed with a dimmer switch unless extra wires were run to accommodate the lights only. Her response was " I don’t know", my response was well unless you think I am full of shit then you do know, her response " I don’t know" My response bight my tongue because I am ready to let go on her. > I bought tickets to a Smokey Robinson concert for next week. I made the statement that Smokey was 79 years old, Her response " I don’t know" My response, I looked it up he is 79. her response " I don’t know". Yeah this is annoying. Yes, you know. I just told you. You are free to have a different opinion, you are free to cross-check me on Google. But if you don’t have your own ideas, then what I told you is what you know. There are a few things like this that I file under “annoying but not worth fighting.” They are tolerable here and there, but the dose definitely makes the poison. ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/33 "2019-07-01T22:46:36Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Know it is a flick of the hair, a no headhshake and a very quick " I don’t know" Almost inaudible. It’s as rude and dismissive as might have thought it was. A snippier way to say “STFU you’re boring me” than actually saying it. I know it’s water under the bridge now, but thanks for the clarification. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/34 "2019-07-01T22:50:45Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I know I should be and I think once the dust settles I will know I made the right decision but I have to admit it is not easy right now. It’s hard to adjust to another loss. I was thinking the other day that of the five men I’ve loved in the last 36 years, four of them are dead… one of them just a year ago. This month it will be 19 years since my husband died. I admire you for trying again. I don’t think I have it in me. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/35 "2019-07-02T01:00:10Z")
Everyone is overlooking the most important question in this story - what game is a 70 year old woman playing? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/36 "2019-07-02T01:51:41Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Everyone is overlooking the most important question in this story - what game is a 70 year old woman playing? That is a fair question, I don’t think it is a game with a motive. I think it is just the only game she knows with men. She has been burned many times and done her share of burning over the years but I think she got off to a bad start at a very young age. She considers herself very boring and without her youthful looks doesn’t think she has much value. She can actually be very engaging on certain topics that she has followed up on over the years, mainly heath issues that have affected her family members. And she has very eclectic music tastes that match mine pretty well. She is not as boring as she thinks she is. She is also knowledgeable on fashion and the bar industry and has a natural gift for design and decorating. A lot of things I do like about her. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/37 "2019-07-02T02:20:38Z")
well, first, hearing “I don’t know” after telling someone facts is highly annoying. It seems like the person completely disregards your opinion on the matter. I hate that. And second, by “game” I meant what game was she playing that she made you wait in bed for. You know, computer or cell phone game. Third, seems strange to me that you can’t do things when the “kids” are home. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/38 "2019-07-02T02:44:38Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > well, first, hearing “I don’t know” after telling someone facts is highly annoying. It seems like the person completely disregards your opinion on the matter. I hate that. > > And second, by “game” I meant what game was she playing that she made you wait in bed for. You know, computer or cell phone game. > > Third, seems strange to me that you can’t do things when the “kids” are home. A little cell phone game where there are rows of blocks you remove. And we do our normal thing when the kids are home but when they are gone it is a little extra treat as we don’t have to be as quiet. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/39 "2019-07-02T03:57:50Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > The kid is 53 yrs old, I just feel more relaxed when we have the house to our self. We obviously still have the nights together when we go to bed but daytime playing around to me is a treat I really look forward to. > > ``` > I have agreed to go back over and try to talk it out, I was in pretty much of a huff when I walked out the other day. What precluded me walking out I thought was extremely rude. She had to work in 2 hours. She told me to take a quick shower and get in bed and when she finished her game she would take her shower and come to bed, she said about 15 minutes. By the time she got done playing the game close to an hour had gone by and I was already pissed off and no longer in the mood as we now had a 30 minute time slot we had to fit things into. This is when I walked out. > > And the "I don"t know" thing she doesn't do to everyone, she does it to her eldest son, one of her nieces and me, we are three people in her life who don't play a submissive roll. > > ``` Too easily offended? I’d say yes. Almost to the degree that it looks like you’re looking for reasons to ditch her. Either that or you’re extremely high maintenance. Or both. Honestly if you hadn’t used pronouns I would have guessed you to be the woman based on the exchanges you describe. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269/40 "2019-07-02T04:34:26Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > Too easily offended? I’d say yes. Almost to the degree that it looks like you’re looking for reasons to ditch her. Either that or you’re extremely high maintenance. Or both. > > Honestly if you hadn’t used pronouns I would have guessed you to be the woman based on the exchanges you describe. I am actually going to agree with you here. I don’t have a pattern of this in other relationships, I feel like the words don’t match the actions and if I could only get the words to match the actions I might have something. but for some reason she just sets me off. Set me off again a few minutes ago. This time I took some additional steps and blocked her from any kind of future contact. Might take me a few weeks to get over it but I feel good about it right now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-easily-offended/836269.md?page=3)