# Am I too old to date a 19-year-old? (long, stupid) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2006, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515 "2006-10-15T12:56:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/81 "2006-10-17T13:38:25Z")
Yanno, I’d just purely love to see a thread about an older lady Doper and her toyboy, and anyone dare to check in to tell her that she was stupid and pathetic and no self-respecting man her own age would want to know her afterwards. I always did like to watch a good shitstorm. **Skald** , m’boy, go for it. Two years from now she’ll have matured enough to know what she really wants and she’ll move on, leaving you nothing but the empty memories of two of the most fun years of your life. Sounds better than might-have-beens to me. If you had some ham, the above opinion would get you some ham and eggs, if you had some eggs. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/82 "2006-10-17T14:03:03Z")
[QUOTE=js\_africanus] \Admittedly, I haven’t been following the thread that closely; however, I’m not sure I’ve seen that many good reasons for Elly-aged women to be bent out of shape about this. I think you’ve way over estimated the extent to which society tells guys how terribly more sexy young women are than not-young women.\ [/QUOTE] Let me paraphrase multiple responses from this thread - “WOOT! Hot young bootie! Go for it, man! Why are you even considering not hitting that?” But, like I said, I took a _little_ umbrage with it. I’m not particularly bent out of shape. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/83 "2006-10-17T14:39:42Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Let me paraphrase multiple responses from this thread - “WOOT! Hot young bootie! Go for it, man! Why are you even considering not hitting that?” But, like I said, I took a _little_ umbrage with it. I’m not particularly bent out of shape. [/QUOTE] _Anno domini_ is kinda unforgiving, **featherlou**. I have a picture at home that purports to represent me as a trim, fit-looking kinda guy a scant 30 years ago. It ill behooves me to rant about society’s refusal to consider my fat, middle-aged ass as hot as it was then. (Mind you, I wasn’t gettin’ any at all in those days.) sigh. Oh to be 175lb again. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/84 "2006-10-17T15:52:41Z")
**Skald** , date whoever you want. I truly don’t care. Truth be told, I think a good many people in this thread just don’t care who you date whether it be the 19 year old or the 30+ year old. But it sounds to me as if you like Elly more. It sounds as if you were interested in Elly, found a way to approach Elly and almost asked her out on a date. Then this 19 year old inserts herself into the scene, pays you some attention, and suddenly now you’re considering giving up on the 30 year old for the 19 year old. Why? Because Beth started randomly flirting with you and, as you mentioned in a later post, Elly’s “body language” told you she wasn’t interested in going out on a date. Now, only you know what Elly’s body language really was. But Beth all but lept over the coffee table and rubbed her nubile 19 year old ass against your crotch to mark her territory and it took half a page online and a two phone conversations with Beth to figure out what was clear to everyone else and then you tell us you’re a master interpreter of the subtle art of body language from mid 30 year olds? Perhaps, just perhaps, you’re mistaken? Perhaps you misread Elly and she’s still quite interested? You know…the woman you originally wanted to ask out? So ask Elly or ask Beth. Again, really, I don’t care which you choose. But I can GUARANTEE you, Elly won’t be available if (and when) you and Beth break up. Sooooo…perhaps you want to at least ask Elly point blank if she wants to go out sometime? Just to see? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/85 "2006-10-17T15:53:50Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Hey, **I** never mentioned fucking anyone. I don’t think. [/QUOTE] Yes, I know, that’s why it was so silly when someone mentioned the benefits of sex w/ an older person. > [@Rilchiam](#): > > IOW, Elly should be content with sloppy seconds. That is is an absolutely ridiculous use of equivocation; the statement that reflects more about your attitude than the actual situation as described. > [@](#): > > I would wager that Elly has paid enough dues. Specifically what dues has she paid? She’s chatted with some guy who comes into the library…OMFG! She’s a fucking hero! She’s been through hell for **Skald** , and by going out with Beth he’s committing adultry! Quick, get a scarlet ‘A’ to sew to his shirt! And Beth is a homewrecker! Cats and dogs sleeping together…! :rolleyes: > [@featherlou](#): > > Let me paraphrase multiple responses from this thread - “WOOT! Hot young bootie! Go for it, man! Why are you even considering not hitting that?” Gosh, that’s so perceptive of you—I didn’t realize that **Leviosaurus** ’s grandmother wanted older met to tap young, hot booty! But now, I have some perspective on this statement: > [@](#): > > …my grandmother told me once that there’s all kinds of stupid in the world, and when you find someone you like, if you stay away from them because of something like their age, then you’ve found yourself one kind of stupid for sure. > [@ivylass](#): > > Or, more likely, Elly will be disgusted with Skald’s immaturity at panting after a girl young enough to be his daughter and will move on. Let’s revisit the OP for a moment: > [@Skald](#): > > Anywhistle, Beth and Elly seem to be friends, or at least acquaintances. They chatted when we made our orders, and Beth inserted herself into the conversation a few times when Elly & I sat down to caffeinate ourselves. At one point, when it was just the three of us in the café and I was about to ask Elly if I might call her sometimes, Beth called out that I was very transparent. “Skaldie, you don’t give a damn about what Elly thinks about the election,” she said. “You’re just trying to get into her pants. Or maybe my pants. Possibly both our pants. Anyway, you’re trying to unzip somebody’s pants.” > > Elly broke into laughter. Said giggle-fit lasted for at least fifteen seconds. Yeah, Elly is obviously the apotheosis of maturity. :rolleyes: * * * Look, **Skald** , based on the reactions, people have already got you as-good-as-married to Elly, like your life is some romantic comedy. You’ve talked books with this Beth girl, you apparently like her personality well enough, and she’s essentially asked you out. So, guess what, this ain’t some stupid fucking sitcom or lame-ass show like _Sex and the City_, so don’t let people play with your life as if it were. Think about what **Leviosaurus** ’s grandmother had to say; her grandchild is a Doper, so she can’t be too stupid. 😉 You’re not getting a tatoo, adopting a child, or discharging a firearm in city limits; you’re not driving drunk, sucker punching a cop, or joining Al Qaeda; and you’re sure as shit not committing adultry against Elly by going on a date with Beth. And, here’s the bonus, if you do like her but you’re still uncomfortable with the age thing, you can still _just be friends_. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/86 "2006-10-17T16:42:04Z")
Skald, you are asking the wrong people. Turn off your computer. See Elly privately at lunch and tell you you have a problem and you need a friend’s advice. Tell her that Beth gave you her number and remind her that you’re 37 and Beth seems too young for you. Then tell her that this isn’t the main reason its an issue though. Look her in the eye and tell her that you know that if you ever call that number that you will have lost any chance at ever asking Elly out. Then wait. Don’t make a sound…let her digest that and then let her speak first. If she says “I think you should call Beth”, then you know where you stand, and you should let it go. And if Beth will still have you, call her. If she says anything else, talk to her, keep the conversation going and get the words out of your mouth to ask her out, no matter what it takes. (And don’t name any of your kids ‘Blucher’; its cruel and hurtful.) ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/87 "2006-10-17T16:46:52Z")
[QUOTE=js\_africanus] [QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] I spend a great deal of time mocking men who chase women that much younger than they; what on Earth do they talk about? [/QUOTE] Apparently they talk about Thackery, Melville, & the Brontë sisters; Cthulu; math puzzles; and perhaps, shoes. You can: 1. Keep your prejudice in spite of what may be empirical evidence to the contrary; or 2. Put your prejudice on hold and see whether said evidence indeed turns out to be contrary. Once option definitely seems more prudent than the other. 😉 [/QUOTE] This bears repeating. I’m a happily married 35yo man, but I’ve been approached by women in clubs (my wife doesn’t do Goth, and I don’t wear a ring) as young as 18. Were I single, I wouldn’t quibble about age, only compatability Hell, Beth sounds just my type. Women who know who Cthulhu is, are keepers for sure. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/88 "2006-10-17T16:53:45Z")
[QUOTE=js\_africanus] Yeah, Elly is obviously the apotheosis of maturity. :rolleyes: [/qUOTE] Why, because she giggled? Beth inserted herself into someone else’s conversation and made an over the top remark and Elly’s the immature one? For all we know, that’s how Elly handles embarrassment…by laughing. Look, **Skald**. Do what you want. You will anyway. But you asked the question and we answered, so you’re the one who has to live with the decision. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/89 "2006-10-17T17:16:16Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] Skald, you are asking the wrong people. Turn off your computer. See Elly privately at lunch and tell you you have a problem and you need a friend’s advice. Tell her that Beth gave you her number and remind her that you’re 37 and Beth seems too young for you. Then tell her that this isn’t the main reason its an issue though. Look her in the eye and tell her that you know that if you ever call that number that you will have lost any chance at ever asking Elly out. Then wait. Don’t make a sound…let her digest that and then let her speak first. If she says “I think you should call Beth”, then you know where you stand, and you should let it go. And if Beth will still have you, call her. If she says anything else, talk to her, keep the conversation going and get the words out of your mouth to ask her out, no matter what it takes. [/QUOTE] Best advice _ **yet!!** _ [QUOTE=Count Blucher] (And don’t name any of your kids ‘Blucher’; its cruel and hurtful.) [/QUOTE] Plus, it makes the horsies whinny. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/90 "2006-10-17T17:54:13Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam] IOW, Elly should be content with sloppy seconds. I would wager that Elly has paid enough dues. She deserves to have **Skald** make a play for her directly; she shouldn’t have to “sit tight” and wait for her turn. Beth is young, and she sounds like the type who talks big about being willing to accept hard knocks. Let her get started, then. [/QUOTE] “Deserves”? “Paid enough dues”? Are you serious? [QUOTE=RTA] All you 30-ish-and-over women need to stop frowning at **Skald** and his normal, normal, perfectly normal desires and conduct. You’ll give yourself wrinkles. [/QUOTE] No shit. I think **Khangol** is dead on. Beth probably has a lower chance to lead to a successful long term relationship and **Skald** is risking a shot at Elly. But if he’s OK with that, then he should go for it. ---
**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/91 "2006-10-17T19:01:00Z")
I think everyone is missing a main point here. Todays young adults are quite open to all of lifes experiences. Maybe Beth is bisexual and will lead you to Elly… Problem solved… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/92 "2006-10-17T19:31:19Z")
[QUOTE=Stinkpalm] In my experience, and I’ve dated a lot of women in my 30 years on earth, of all ages, I don’t believe ANY woman under the age of 23 when she says she knows what she wants. She knows what she wants TODAY but not TOMORROW. (Yeah I know there are exceptions but I had a broad brush so I used it) [/QUOTE] Gee, thanks. **Skald**? Go for it. ---
**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/93 "2006-10-17T20:17:37Z")
We also need an update… ---
**Author:** ![zeno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zeno/32/15040_2.png) [@zeno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zeno)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/94 "2006-10-17T20:46:27Z")
You’re 37. She’s 19. I hate you. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/95 "2006-10-17T23:04:37Z")
Well now look. The thread seems to be dying just when it was getting interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/96 "2006-10-17T23:13:31Z")
[QUOTE=Spectre of Pithecanthropus] Well now look. The thread seems to be dying just when it was getting interesting. [/QUOTE] Maybe it was just in abeyance, awaiting my update, which shall come tomorrow; the date’s in an hour. If it goes disasterously or amusingly, I’ll share the details. Fair? ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/97 "2006-10-17T23:29:15Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Maybe it was just in abeyance, awaiting my update, which shall come tomorrow; the date’s in an hour. If it goes disasterously or amusingly, I’ll share the details. Fair? [/QUOTE] Bang her like a screen door! I kid, I kid. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/98 "2006-10-17T23:56:09Z")
Well then, have fun. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2006, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/99 "2006-10-18T00:40:55Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Maybe it was just in abeyance, awaiting my update, which shall come tomorrow; the date’s in an hour. If it goes disasterously or amusingly, I’ll share the details. Fair? [/QUOTE] And if it goes somewhere in between, you’d better _ **embellish the hell out of it** _ and share the details. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2006, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/100 "2006-10-18T00:45:38Z")
[QUOTE=js\_africanus] That is is an absolutely ridiculous use of equivocation; the statement that reflects more about your attitude than the actual situation as described. [/quote] I’m not as smart as you, so you’ll have to explain what was wrong with my comment before I can defend it. > [@](#): > > Specifically what dues has she paid? She’s chatted with some guy who comes into the library…OMFG! She’s a fucking hero! She’s been through hell for **Skald** , and by going out with Beth he’s committing adultry! Quick, get a scarlet ‘A’ to sew to his shirt! And Beth is a homewrecker! Cats and dogs sleeping together…! :rolleyes: She’s paid her dues in the dating world, in general. It’s not about **Skald** , per se: it’s about her being, as others pointed out, cockblocked by Beth. She’s older than Beth and has probably experienced more heartbreak, so why should she be rejected again? As I said earlier, let Beth add a rejection to the experiences she’s so eager to accumulate. No, **Skald** is not “as good as married to Elly”, but if he was interested to begin with, he should still be, regardless of how many literary references Beth drops, or how rude she is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515.md?page=6)