# Am I too old to date a 19-year-old? (long, stupid) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2006, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515 "2006-10-15T12:56:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2006, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/121 "2006-10-18T23:10:08Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] I don’t know anyone who’s mature enough to date the same person their co-worker is dating. In fact, I think the word for a person who \*would \* be okay with that isn’t so much “mature” as “Vulcan”. … [/QUOTE] In theory, Brandon is correct. In reality, I’ve got to go with Diana. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/122 "2006-10-18T23:25:40Z")
[QUOTE=Brandon] He means to leave everyone with bated breath, and perhaps likes the attention of everyone asking how it went. That or maybe he was tired. [/quote] No reason it can’t have been both! And it was. I was pretty high on life when I got home and thought I’d post, but unfortunately I was in sight of the bed and early middle age began to assert itself. I am, however, now rested. As to the date: it did not go disastrously (thanks, **DirkGntly**! I’ll bring all my holistic investigative business to you!) though it did not go nearly as well as a couple of people are implying; that is, both our pants stayed on the entire time. We went to a movie, then dinner, then sat by the river and talked for a lllllllllloooooonnnnnggggggg time. Did I mention that Beth is seriously intelligent? Well, she is. Smarter than me, I’d say, even though I know more things. And what she lacks in general knowledge she makes up for in curiosity and energy and joie de vivre. If she has a fault (apart from her questionable taste in men), it’s being a little too snobbish about what she reads, but who am I to criticize that? Anywhistle…movie, dinner, long debates about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and why Ezra Pound sucks, and what it says about the nature of love, and enough physical interaction to leave me happy. And while I was sleeping, she sent me an email suggesting we lather, rinse, and repeat on Friday. So I’m still pretty high. So I’m still pretty high. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2006, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/123 "2006-10-18T23:27:49Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam] Was it going to be a pity date when **Skald** was initially trying to get Elly’s number? [/QUOTE] I’m pretty sure that, had I gone out with Elly, I would have been the recipient of the pity date. As I said upthread, her body language made it clear she wasn’t that into me. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/124 "2006-10-18T23:40:04Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] So I’m still pretty high. So I’m still pretty high. [/QUOTE] Well, looks like you definately made the right decision, then. And the lathering thing sounds promising… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2006, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/125 "2006-10-18T23:49:44Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] Well, looks like you definately made the right decision, then. And the lathering thing sounds promising… 🙂 [/QUOTE] I have no idea how that repeating thing happened. Guess I’m higher than I thought. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/126 "2006-10-19T00:35:47Z")
Envy meter…rising… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/127 "2006-10-19T04:19:03Z")
Good for you, **Skald**. I personally think that a 37 yo man and a 19 yo girl don’t have much in common, but you seem to be proving me wrong. Have fun! (And be really careful - she’s at, like, peak fertility. Look at her wrong, and you’re a daddy.) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/128 "2006-10-19T10:24:15Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Good for you, **Skald**. I personally think that a 37 yo man and a 19 yo girl don’t have much in common, but you seem to be proving me wrong. Have fun! (And be really careful - she’s at, like, peak fertility. Look at her wrong, and you’re a daddy.) [/QUOTE] Thirty-SIX year old. I said I’ll be turning 37 THIS YEAR. Okay, in less than two months. Don’t rush me. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/129 "2006-10-19T10:58:00Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam] Was it going to be a pity date when **Skald** was initially trying to get Elly’s number? [/QUOTE] No, the pity part only came in when you started arguing for Elly’s entitlement to a date based on her age and having been knocked back enough times in her life already, and how Beth could taste rejection if she was so all-fired keen to get some grown-up experience. > [@Skald the Rhymer](#): > > Thirty-SIX year old. I said I’ll be turning 37 THIS YEAR. Okay, in less than two months. Don’t rush me. Get off my lawn, juve! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/130 "2006-10-19T14:07:02Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Thirty-SIX year old. I said I’ll be turning 37 THIS YEAR. Okay, in less than two months. Don’t rush me. [/QUOTE] Hey, I’m turning 40 on November 27. Your birthday must be close to mine. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/131 "2006-10-19T15:12:29Z")
-grumbling- well, dammit, that means you’re **also** too old to be dating a 19 year-old woman ! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/132 "2006-10-19T15:26:41Z")
I’m 40, and I feel like I’m robbing the cradle if I date someone younger than 32 or 30 – someone who was eight to ten years old when I graduated from high school. Granted, they’re still Generation Xers, but many women I meet in their early 30s are still trapped in sorority/party girl mode. Embracing your inner child is great, but shouting “WHOOOOOO!” at completely random times can get tiresome. 😃 Then again, I can’t stand dating people my age who have fallen into the middle-age mindset, and who have given up their personality and identities to fufill some role they feel society expects of someone their age. Pear hair, minivans, mom jeans, a fading sense of humor, and a lack of any desire to grow intellectually is as much of a turnoff as “WHOOOOOO!” is. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/133 "2006-10-19T18:15:29Z")
I’d like to hear what happens next. I remark that almost certainly Elly and Beth will chat about Skald, so I hope that doesn’t turn awkward. Carry on! ---
**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/134 "2006-10-19T18:48:43Z")
Well, if all else fails, at least you have made a good friend that you can hold great conversations with. Those types of friends are hard to find… If it turns out to be more, just rememeber that some will tell you that age is just a number. You two might be perfect for each other, and you will never know unless you try. Good luck and keep us informed. I would, however, not mention this thread in any of your conversations. She might not improve… And speaking of lathering, rinsing, and repeating, you might be inclined to check out [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=392561) thread. It seemed to fit quite nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/135 "2006-10-19T18:52:29Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] Envy meter…rising… [/QUOTE] That’s not your envy meter. Sorry, couldn’t resist. You know, youthful exuberance and all. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/136 "2006-10-19T19:07:59Z")
We have a very flirtatious/slutty girl where I work. She definitely throws it out there shotgun fashion. I would guess she is about 19. She is a waitress and treats the female patrons like crap. She gets away with it because our boss ditched his fiance (who he ditched his wife for) to fool around with her a bit. When she was interviewed, the general perception was that she could have any job she wanted. In reality, that appears to be so. There is a rather fabulous looking man at work who is 41. We have been friends for years and do a bit of flirting also. The 19 year old made a comment to him (suggestive of course) when I was standing there, you should have seen the look on her face when I told her the line formed 2 years ago, and she was at the end of it. It didn’t occur to her that another woman could hold a candle to her. I’m certain if you asked Mr. Fabulous, he would much rather have me. If you were to ask her, I’m certain she would think he’s insane, after all, she is young, shiny and gets what she wants. If I may extrapolate some info. This girl is used to getting what she wants because she IS a young, shiny thing. She does not respect other women, if she did, she would have seen your intentions towards the other woman, and kept her mouth shut. You, my dear, are nothing but a trophy, a trophy an older woman might have had, yet the young girl could take. She sounds pretentious, far shallower than her reading would have you to believe, incredibly inconsiderate towards other women. If I had a dollar for every college kid reading “deep” books so they would be perceived as being deeper or more mature/tortured, I would never have to work again. “Jane Austen, only meaner.” She doesn’t know who she is and is trying to find herself in the voice of others. I wouldn’t touch the shiny thing with a 10 foot pole, but then again, that is just experience talking. Years of dating taught me those that are only interested in conquest, move on quickly to the next victim. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/137 "2006-10-19T23:17:24Z")
**Auntbeast** , I like the cut of your jib. ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/138 "2006-10-19T23:18:57Z")
How come no one has suggested that Beth and Elly had already talked about Skald and worked out a deal for themselves? I really doubt Skald’s approaching Elly came out of the blue. Most guys are more transparent than that, and most women more observant. Is it so implausible that Elly told Beth that she thought Skald would be asking her out soon, and she wasn’t much interested? And Beth offering that she was? (It doesn’t sound like Beth was flying wingman, unless Skald is totally delusional.) Alternatively, Beth might noticed Skald’s interest in Elly and forwarned her, with the two of them working things out ? Certainly if I was interested in a woman that much older than me, and I knew she was angling towards a friend of mine of her age who wasn’t interested in her, I’d have offered to step in ahead of time. Youth does not imply shallowness, nor age maturity. If Skald thinks she is mature, then they might very well be of comparable maturity. Why presuppose she’s just pretending? ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/139 "2006-10-19T23:54:13Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] **Auntbeast** , I like the cut of your jib. [/QUOTE] Me too. How old are you? 😉 ehh. I’m a happily married man to a woman that is 9 months older than me. A story. A fella that used to work with me noticed an intern type in our office one time. A very pretty GIRL (I think she was 17) that was the daughter of one of our receptionists. He asked me “Is she legal?” At the time I suspect that he had about 20 years on her. That statement did not fly well with me, but I did not say anything. But my respect for him went down to zero. **Sklad** , I know this is not the situation that you have been presented with. But watch out. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515/140 "2006-10-20T01:24:19Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] …and why Ezra Pound sucks… [/QUOTE] I thought you said she was intelligent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-too-old-to-date-a-19-year-old-long-stupid/376515.md?page=8)