# Am I unique in wishing zombie threads were still disallowed? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 14, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386 "2011-04-14T17:39:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/81 "2011-04-21T16:43:51Z")
Zombie jokes are the only reason to allow zombie threads… (and they do serve as a useful and amusing reminder that you’re reading a corpse thread) ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/82 "2011-04-21T17:33:11Z")
I’m going to guess that the software doesn’t allow for this, but I think one thing that would be helpful is if the board had a way of changing the color of (or otherwise highlighting, somehow) posts that are, say, more than a year old from the date of viewing. It wouldn’t stop the newbie posters, but it would definitely prevent the rest of us from being fooled until we’re at the end of the thread. Like, maybe all of the really old posts could be graped or something. As an aside, the thing that has usually alerted me lately that a thread I’m reading is a zombie is finding a reference to a poster who has since changed their user name. I find myself doing the, “Why would someone have called her th–OHHHHHhhhhh!” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/83 "2011-04-21T18:47:17Z")
Why don’t we just sit on this question, for, say, a year, then come back and revisit it? ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/84 "2011-04-21T19:45:53Z")
Or, better yet, maybe some new poster will come along and revive this thread in a year or so, to see how things are going… 😛 -XT ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/85 "2011-04-21T20:51:37Z")
[prof Farnsworth] Good news, everyone! I have a package here from 2013! How are things back in 2011? [/prof] ---
**Author:** ![Crackrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Crackrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crackrat)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/86 "2011-04-21T23:01:17Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > I’m going to guess that the software doesn’t allow for this, but I think one thing that would be helpful is if the board had a way of changing the color of (or otherwise highlighting, somehow) posts that are, say, more than a year old from the date of viewing. It wouldn’t stop the newbie posters, but it would definitely prevent the rest of us from being fooled until we’re at the end of the thread. Like, maybe all of the really old posts could be graped or something. > > As an aside, the thing that has usually alerted me lately that a thread I’m reading is a zombie is finding a reference to a poster who has since changed their user name. I find myself doing the, “Why would someone have called her th–OHHHHHhhhhh!” :smack: [This thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=598635) has a greasemonkey script to mark threads over 4 months old. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/87 "2011-04-21T23:10:41Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > > [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > > > Vegetarian zombie: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNS!!! > > Zombie Plumber: DRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNS!!! Messy Zombie: STAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/88 "2011-04-22T00:02:34Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > > [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > > > > [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > > > > > Vegetarian zombie: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNS!!! > > > > Zombie Plumber: DRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNS!!! > > Messy Zombie: STAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS!!! Dyslexic Zmobie: BRIIIIAAAAANNNSSS!!! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/89 "2011-04-22T00:28:48Z")
Health food zombies: (whole) GRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/90 "2011-04-22T12:21:55Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > It’s especially annoying when you see that some newbie reopened a zombie thread with a rant arguing against the OP’s position. Chances are the OP isn’t even reading this board anymore. In most cases I don’t think that should matter. > [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > It’s particularly annoying when you start to reply only to notice that most of the discussion six years old and your reply is probably pointless. > [@Implicit](#): > > I find it helps to think that all of my replies are pointless and won’t be read by whoever I’m addressing in the thread. If comments were only for the particular people previously posted in a thread, that _would_ be pointless, or nearly so. But I try to conceive posts as responses to the _ideas_. Even with seemingly personal and specific topics, it’s a good bet that other readers besides the OP (or besides the entire SDMB readership at the time of the OP) have entertained similar thoughts. With the board open to Google particularly, threads _will_ keep being read by people, who may or may not ever register to post here at all. Anyway, Cecil routinely revives “zombie” columns, some of them much older than the oldest SDMB threads. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/91 "2011-04-22T12:49:20Z")
I don’t see the value of closing [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=518264). So a two-year-old question has become the subject of a Staff Report, with its own new thread. What does the splitting accomplish, besides making it less likely for somebody who discovers the topic from the front page to see, for example, **Kimmy Gibbler** ’s good comments in the original. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/92 "2011-04-22T12:50:26Z")
> [@Crackrat](#): > > [This thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=598635) has a greasemonkey script to mark threads over 4 months old. Maybe if two people mention it, people will see it. It won’t stop the noobs from raising zombies, but at least you’ll know it happened and can respond accordingly. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/93 "2011-04-22T16:19:32Z")
I think Zombies that have been resurrected by regulars to make updates or for other reasons should stay open. I think Zombies re-opened by first time one time posters should be immediately closed, with a polite not explaining why. I agree that the “brains! brains!” joke is way past its expy date, and is unecessarily off putting. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/94 "2011-04-22T16:49:40Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > It’s especially annoying when you see that some newbie reopened a zombie thread with a rant arguing against the OP’s position. Chances are the OP isn’t even reading this board anymore. That shouldn’t matter. You can find numerous current threads where the OP, a one-trick pony, never returned. What matters is whether or not the current membership finds value in the thread and starts participating in it again. If we do, then the thread has value. If we don’t, then it falls to the bottom of the forum and into the netherworld once again. No bullet needed. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/95 "2011-04-23T01:52:37Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Dyslexic Zmobie: BRIIIIAAAAANNNSSS!!! Weather Girl Zombie: RAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/96 "2011-04-24T19:22:05Z")
## You know, if everybody who doesn’t like zombie threads would stop posting in them after they’ve been resurrected (typically to make repeated zombie jokes), they would fall down the forum list much quicker. The more people who post zombie jokes rather than continue the conversation, the longer the thread remains pointlessly\* at the top of the forum list to suck in more people. \*If people are continuing the conversation, then they aren’t _pointlessly_ at the top of the forum list. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/97 "2011-04-24T21:14:50Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Weather Girl Zombie: > > RAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNS!!! Frasier and Niles Zombies: CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!!! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/98 "2011-04-24T22:17:43Z")
Actually, I think the zombie jokes are a form of public service. If you see them, you know it is a zombie thread. Otherwise, just how many people check out the date of the OP before they respond? I sure as hell don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/99 "2011-04-24T22:25:13Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > ## You know, if everybody who doesn’t like zombie threads would stop posting in them after they’ve been resurrected (typically to make repeated zombie jokes), they would fall down the forum list much quicker. The more people who post zombie jokes rather than continue the conversation, the longer the thread remains pointlessly\* at the top of the forum list to suck in more people. > > \*If people are continuing the conversation, then they aren’t _pointlessly_ at the top of the forum list. [Typical Irish sentiment on zombies…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-s53IEAf4w) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386/100 "2011-04-24T22:27:26Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Actually, I think the zombie jokes are a form of public service. If you see them, you know it is a zombie thread. Well, _you_ know it, because you’ve been around for a while. But new posters have no idea. So they aren’t a very effective form of service compared to just pointing out that it’s an old thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-unique-in-wishing-zombie-threads-were-still-disallowed/578386.md?page=6)