I admire your work ethic, Whyzers.
Anything for the Dope, Ellen. 
Initially I was indifferent. Now I find them annoying and wish they’d go away. I think it detracts from the currentness of the board, myself. The zombie jokes are now all lame, it was funny the first couple of times, now, not so much.
Or…?
And zombie jokes are lame. Especially just a chant of “brains…” in the thread.
I do agree that if we don’t want newbies to post to them, either close them or have some kind of pre-post warning about how old they are. Otherwise, shut up about it and let them post.
I don’t mind zombie threads though I almost always forget to look at the date and get suckered in…until the first zombie joke and I facepalm.
I like zombie jokes; as someone upthread said it is a way to point out the zombieness of the thread without sounding officious.
Well, It’s been mentioned before that some sort of delay between first registering and being able to post could be implemented. I wouldn’t be opposed to this, but that usually means everyone else is. 
Vegetarian zombie: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNS!!!
Frankly, while I find them annoying I feel more sorry for the poster who re-opens them. They are (generally) posting in good faith without realizing that the OP they are responding to is way out of date (a technical question) or the issue is long resolved (some emotional scenario years old).
It must feel kind of foolish to them to realize that they were essentially talking to an empty room.
Except they almost always seem to be one-and-done, they never come back. (Not counting spammers)
If I was embarrassed and the further replies were jokes about braaaaains that I didn’t understand, or worse, I *understood *that I’d made a board faux pas, I don’t think I’d be back, either. Most first posters don’t have all that thick a skin, and can feel ganged up on and unwelcome by the reception zombie threads usually get.
Maybe (not as a rule, just a convention), we should start replying to zombie threads with a “This thread is really old, and the person you’re replying to hasn’t posted here in a year, so we call this a “zombie” thread. Not a big deal, and welcome to the board! Here’s what I think…” before we start the braaaaaain jokes.
Y’know, kind of how we gently inform posters commenting on a column that a link is appreciated.
I think this would be the right way to handle it. Just make it a standard.
WhyNot in 2012! (You don’t mind being a write-in candidate, do you?)
I’m on board with WhyNot.
Do I get a spot on the ticket for being the touchy-feely, sensitive Doper who inspired it?
As a moderator, I agree with this. While I don’t particularly mind the zombie jokes, I don’t think posts that include only remarks like “braaainsss” are particularly helpful. They will mystify the newbie who raised it, as well as any other newbies who happen along. So if you want to make a joke, please let the poster know what it’s all about. Otherwise you are just playing to the in crowd at the expense of the newbies.
How are you at grass-roots campaign organization?
I like bad coffee and stale donuts. Good, I’d say!
I’m voting for WhyNot. That was a great suggestion.
Oh, and by the way…
Zombie Plumber: DRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNS!!!
I don’t like them, sometimes I see them on the top and think “oh, this is a cool discussion.” Then I see about 5 BANNED statuses and go “wait…” Then I look around and say “I don’t recognize some of these people…” Then I look at the post date and it’s inevitably something like 2002. Most of the time the people are absent from the board to contribute, especially when I want to engage their points directly.
If this doesn’t convince TPTB, I know that in many forum softwares, zombie threads wreak absolute havok on the database, this is why many forums lock threads x months old, because when there’s a large gap between posts it starts to cause crashes and long search times.
I don’t think that’s adequate. I try to remember to look at the dates now, because zombies are cropping up more and more annoyingly, but if I forget and go through 15 posts before I get to the first “brains” joke I get pretty peeved. I’d be just as peeved if I managed to get through a page or two before getting to the “polite message”. I even reported a zombie thread not long ago because I was so mad. The thread was entirely too old to have been resurrected and the response that revived it was, frankly, pointlessly stupid. Also, it’s a little disconcerting when a zombie is old enough that you see a deceased and sadly missed poster’s name on page two.
I would prefer a pop-up or warning window that recommends the person start a new thread. The new “let the zombies live” policy is simply not working with new visitors stumbling across very old threads via Google.
Thanks for the support, y’all! 