Amazing, idiotic things drivers do!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

Okay, I have one amazing thing and one idiotic thing to share.

Amazing: I saw an old man driving down the Northway between Lake George and Glens Falls, NY while EATING CORN ON THE COB. A great big, two fisted ear of it!
Idiotic: One morning I was taking my son to daycare and I stopped at a stop sign - well, because it said stop. I wasn’t there very long when this little BMW sports car of some sort honks me! It’s a stop sign, dickwad! You’re supposed to stop! It’s not like I’m stopped for no fucking reason. Then we both turn right and start driving through a 20 mph school zone. I made sure that morning to obey the limit because it’s the law and I wanted to fuck with this dude. Well, anyway, low and behold, the crossing guard has some kids to cross, so I stop - again, like you’re supposed to. Motherfucker in the beemer decided to pass me and comes within a foot of hitting the crossing guard. Now, really, why would I have stopped?

82

Up until my office moved across town a couple of months ago, I would commute daily down a 3-lane in each direction thoroughfare from the middle of my suburb to the freeway. With all of the people trying to get onto this freeway in both directions, the backup at the last couple of lights before the onramps would get pretty bad. Well, I personally found it tolerable, but I can be fairly patient when I feel the annoyance is being shared equitably. Now, in the last block before the freeway onramps, the road goes from three lanes to 5 lanes: two that continue past the freeway, two that will get onto the freeway southbound after passing underneath, and one that is the northbound onramp that turns right just before the freeway. These last three lanes were usually fairly congested in the commuting hours, and I felt it was fair for everyone to wait their turns.

Well, apparently that was not shared by all of my fellow motorists. Each day without fail, there would be no less than two cars that would zoom down the last few blocks in the non-congested far left lanes until they got to the last block (where there are five lanes) and then swerve across the southbound onramp lanes and into the northbound turn lane. In the midst of very heavy traffic. When anyone would dare indicate the stunt they just pulled was less than safe or cause aggravation in the other drivers, they would get all indignant and flip the bird. Guess they too had the invisible “S” on their licenses…

JOhn.

83

Near karma moment:

There was a big snow storm and my company let us go home early. I went on the freeway traveling rather slowly. There was only one lane open due to snow and I am an old man on ice since I should have died or been grieveously injured when I was 20 and driving stupidly on ice. I was lucky then. Very lucky. EXTREMELY lucky.

I get on the freeway and this white Jeep Cherokee screams up behind me at a large speed, starts honking his horn and flashing his lights. There is only one lane and my little car cannot plow through the snow in the other lane. This guy turns into the other lane and plows through the snow in the other lane, completely making me lose sight for maybe 10-15 seconds forcing me to basically stop.

I’m pissed and watch him scream away from me. All of a sudden his brake lights come on and he slows WAY down. Down so much that I start to cath up with him. As I approach the spot where he slowed down, there was a white Jeep Cherokee belly up in the median with no-one in it. This wasn’t the same Jeep that passed me but looked identical. I would have loved to see that guys expression when he saw a clone of what he was driving overturned :wink:

He actually drived so slow it was irritating me driving behind him.

84

Of note should be that both of these incidents occurred in east Texas, hence there’s an utter dirth of blind corners, elevation changes, and the like. You can see what’s coming for the next couple of miles while driving on one of these roads.

  1. I’m driving down a rather narrow two-lane road. There’s no shoulder, just a ditch. There’s a car about 100 yards or so in front of me that starts slowing down because they need to make a left turn, but there’s quite a few oncoming cars, so they are forced to come to a complete stop and wait for an opening. I pull up right behind them, and patiently wait for this car to turn so I can continue. Well, I’m sitting there for probably 30 seconds or so, and I believe I was adjusting my radio, when all of a sudden I hear a horn blast and the sound of screeching tires sounding like it’s coming from my back seat. I frantically look in my rearview mirror and see this idiot swirve out to the left of my car and into the oncoming lane of traffic. He gains control of his car, passes both me and the person waiting for their left turn, and cuts back into our lane just missing smashing head first into one of the oncoming cars. The speed limit on this road is 70, and I believe he was going at least that when he cut around us. My first thought when I saw him was that he was going to rear end me going 70 mph. Who knows what that would have done to my little car… Based on when I first heard the screeching tires, I would have to say that this guy only realized there was a car stopped in front of him about 20 yards before he hit me! How he can be the blind I will never understand.

  2. When will people learn that a green light on a left turn signal is not the same as a green arrow! It was dark, and it was raining. I was the only car traveling down a 4-lane road, and I was in the inside lane. Up ahead, I see a traffic light, which is red, at a T-intersection, and there’s a good amount of cars waiting in the oncoming left turn lane. As I’m about 200 yards from the intersection, the light turns green, and the cars waiting in line have a green “yield” light for the left turn. I’m probably going about 40 and never have to slow, since my light was green in plenty of time. The first couple of cars get off their left turns in front of me and in plenty of time. As I near the intersection, I (somewhat stupidly) assume that I’ll be able to cross safely because the cars will yield to me before attempting their left turn. Well, I was a bit wrong. Apparently either not seeing me, or assuming that for some reason he had the right of way, a guy starts pulling out to make his left turn not but a few seconds in front of me. He either realizes his mistake or realizes that he has another car careening toward his passenger side, so he stops, but not without blocking enough of the inside lane (which I’m in) to still necessitate an evasive maneuver on my part. Luckily, I’m able to swirve to the righthand lane, narrowly missing this idiot, and regain control on the not-so-perfect road conditions. The things I’ve learned in this situation are never underestimate the stupidity of other drivers and don’t take right of way for granted.

85

I’m standing at a light waiting for it to turn red, it’s a 2 lane road. In the far lane there is a Small truck stuck behing a car or 2, apparently there was a pedestrian across the street who was in a rush to cross, the driver waves her across the street. The pedestrian runs across the street and gets creamed by a taxi that was blocked from her vision. Stupidity all around but the best was that the truck driver just takes off, the pedestrian is not all that hurt but there is a lady half a block away screaming that it was the cabbies fault.

86

In Los Angeles, the Metro bus drivers apparently are trained that it’s okay to go through a yellow light (or even a red one!) as long as they blow the horn a few times. Gotta keep to that schedule, y’know…

87

Originally posted by Jab1

And the sad part of this is that it will probably take a gory fatal accident, followed by a really ugly court trial, before the judiciary discovers this reckless practice and an ensuing investigation rocks the MTA to its foundation…:mad:

88

Others have posted similar examples but these have their own eccentric twists:

My mother was in a shopping center parking lot, stuck behind a car waiting for a space and with another car behind her. Nowhere to go. An old man backed out of his parking space without a single glance, bashing my mother’s car. Then he got out of his car and yelled at my mother to be more careful and watch where she was going!

I was passing a school one morning and the road had only one lane in either direction. I stopped for pedestrians (a parent and two children) to cross the road in front of me. The man in the car behind me, apparently unable to imagine any logical reason I may have had for stopping, tried to pass me on the right shoulder of the road and came darn close to vehicular manslaughter. As I looked over to see what an idiot looks like, I couldn’t help but notice that he was a parent himself with children in the car!

This happened to one of my friends last month: she parked in a supermarket lot and went in to shop. Someone came up to her and said, “I think I saw you get out of a minivan in the lot. A women is hitting cars out there, and I think one of them is yours.” She ran out and saw police, fire trucks, crumpled cars… a 93-year-old woman got confused as she entered a parking space and pressed the gas rather than the brake. She flew (I’m assuming this because of the subsequent damage) forward, pushed my friend’s van across the aisle into another two cars, then somehow turned and hit the side of another car. My friend’s van was totalled. The woman’s husband came and picked her up. One might hope she cradle-robbed, but probably not.

89

I didn’t see this, I just read it in the (online) paper:

90

A few more examples …
Many years ago while living in San Diego, a few months after a knee surgery, I was walking home on my crutches. A man pulled over and offered me a lift. I was only 4-5 blocks from home, but those damned crutches HURT. So I thank him and get in. He pulls away from the curb and goes back to what (I suppose) he had been doing before… reading his Bible. I got out as soon as possible and walked the rest of the way. Jesus may save him, but I’m not too sure about me.
Related to me by a friend in San Diego. He was riding his motorcycle down I-5 through downtown in the right lane. The car to his left and slightly ahead of him suddenly cuts across his lane to exit into downtown. My friend had both wheels locked up and just barely avoided a major wipeout. He followed the oblivious driver down the ramp to the red light, gets off his bike and walks up to the car and taps on the window. When the man rolls his window down my understandably perturbed friend reaches into the car, breaks off the turn signal wand, shakes it in the man’s face and screams “MotherF***er!, You don’t NEED this!!” He got on his bike and took off, but said he had to stop for about 20 minutes until his hands and knees stopped shaking.
Once in the late '70’s while stationed in Pearl Harbor, a friend of mine had a '68 RoadRunner muscle car with numerous mechanical defects which he was constantly working on. We had spent the day at the beach, and while driving back, his car stalled out. We coasted off on the shoulder and waited while our friend, whose nickname was Big Bird, because he was quite tall, had a big ass, and yellow-white hair, tried to get the car going again. We had been sitting in the grass watching him work on the car for about 45 minutes when he decided that the problem was a bad solenoid. So in proper shade tree mechanic fashion, he uses the handles of a pair of pliers to jumper the solenoid to get the car to start. I should also mention that the RoadRunner also had a sticky throttle, and sometimes stuck wide open. Anyway, as Big Bird jumps across the solenoid, the big 440 4-barrel engine comes roaring to life at full throttle and starts peeling out backwards directly into rush hour traffic on H-1. It seems the only reason he couldn’t get the car to restart is that he had accidentally left the automatic transmission in Reverse. I know it was a terrible and dangerous situation, but the look on Big Bird’s face when his car suddenly roared to life and backed into traffic at full speed … It still makes me laugh. Good news, no one was hurt and BB will never be allowed to drive in Hawaii again.

-~-
“Forget World Peace. Visualize using your turn signals” -bumper sticker.

91

OK gang, drive as much as I do through the wilds of a major city (the big Windy, in my case) and you’ll quickly identify certain types of idiot drivers who are easily spotted. If only they were as easily avoided. Don’t mean to sound bigoted, but they are:

  1. Women of a certain age whose hair color matches the color of their Cadillacs. Had one of these nearly plow into me on my way home from work tonight. For several blocks, we were travelling next to each other, me in the left lane, she in the right. Unless she had less awareness that the average dog turd, she had to have known I was next to her – I drive a medium-sized, very red SUV and was listening to Cyndi Lauper (hey, I was having '80’s flashbacks) cranked loud enough to bring Liberace back from the dead. A bus half a block in front of her pulls in to a posted stop, but only halfway, stopping traffic in the right lane. Said woman, with her helmet hair dyed “Cadillac Metallic Frost Honey Beige #347”, tries pulling into both the left lane and my right front fender, without signaling. Gave me very dirty look when I hit the horn and swung around her. Probably wet her faux-Chanel suit when she did get around the bus, was traveling parallel to me again, and saw me roll down the passenger-side window to tell her exactly how low her IQ must be. First Cadillac driver I’ve ever seen who both found the gas pedal and managed to push it to the floor, proving the cars really do have high-horsepower V-8’s under the hoods. . . .

  2. Men of a certain age who drive while wearing a hat in the car (excluding those who have religious reasons for the headgear). Look for ball caps, fedoras, knit caps with pom-pons, even Stetsons that can’t hide the fact Rogaine ain’t gonna help. Worst of this kind are driving their wives’ honey-blond Cadillacs. Known to change lanes without looking, signalling, or otherwise trying to follow the rules of the road. Also known to do incredibly stupid things like doing 20 in a 55 zone near O’Hare, then tap the brakes and point at a jet coming in for a landing.

  3. Persons of either gender who drive older, obviously-purchased-used vehicles and cram them with at least three times the vehicle’s original manufacturer’s suggested passenger limit. Said vehicles often have one or more bumper stickers advertising a nation that has been in the news within the last five years due to a famine, a terrorist incident, a civil war, and/or a war between drug cartels. Problem here: Such vehicles cannot move faster than 15 miles per hour, unless you desperately need to get into their lane to make a turn, avoid an accident, deliver a baby, etc.

  4. Persons of either gender who drive with the seat pushed as far back, down, and otherwise horizontal as they can get it, and who are far more interested in their passenger than in such things as stop lights, horns, emergency vehicles with their lights flashing, safe sex, etc.

  5. Any person still using Clearasil who is driving an SUV, Camaro, Trans Am, Mustang, Eclipse, or other sporty, sexy, and/or macho vehicle. Age of vehicle does not matter – could be a nearly-rusted-out Honda CRV. These drivers simply don’t have the maturity to realize their cars don’t have the traction, or braking power, or cornering ability, or whatever to safely handle bad weather conditions if driven at the limits of what they can safely handle in good weather on good roads. Many of these are the ones you hope will get into an accident and remove themselves from the gene pool, if only because their parents should have been removed from the gene pool by virtue of being stupid enough to give their li’l darlin’s such vehicles. . .

I want my next car to come equipped with phasers, fore and aft, and without a “stun” setting. . . .

92

Amen, Brother

93

The theme of this thread is the compiled follies of our fellow citizens behind the wheel.

Rather than offering an account which enraged me (of which I have many - I lived in BOSTON for many years,) I offer a story rich in complex emotions.

One winter’s day while I was attending MIT, I was driving down a rather steep hill in a residential district south of the city. The usual December weather pattern in Boston offering sleet, freezing rain, and daily freeze-thaw cycles, this street was coated with a smooth, ice-cube-flat coating of ice.

I had found it necessary to stop near the top of the hill and put chains on my car. When I reached the street upon which this drama arose, I found that I ought drive no more than 5 miles per hour - with chains on.

The street, being a residential district, was two lanes wide, were there no cars parked on either side. However, as cars WERE parked on BOTH sides, one usually navigates the street as though it were a one-lane bridge. When two cars approach, one must pull to the curb to allow the other past.

As I inched down the hill, I noticed a car coming up behind. Although the driver was driving at a grandmotherly speed of 35 miles/hour, I pulled to the curb immediately, as I doubted my colleagues perception of the traction available. And that’s when the fun began.

This chump passed by, and when the light-bulb dimly lit in his/her cranium, jammed the brakes to a solid lock. Of course, (s)he spun.

Recall, there was only one lane. (S)he had no ROOM to spin. As the car veered rightwards, it fortunately nosed into an empty space along the curb, and the car spun widdershins, sliding backward down the street, spinning.

As the spin continued, the nose AGAIN traversed an empty space, and the car completed an involuntary 360 degree spin (or 2pi, for radian folks.)

From my uphill perspective, I could see the car’s nose reappear and disappear, with the delightful surprise of noting accidental success in pirouetting.

The hill had flattened at the bottom, and the tires finally caught pavement. The car screeched to a halt. I could see a waggle or two of the head; the car revved, and raced off.

I applauded. Such ballet with a lethal mechanical object brought to mind a fusion of Baryshnikov and Kalashnikov.

94

Two instances come to mind.

  1. Driving in Boston. I am on a parkway and need to make a left. Conveniently there is a Left turn lane (single lane) separated by grassy medians to make the left onto the other parkway. There is also a traffic Light. Traffic light is Red. I stop to wait for the Green light. As I wait, a Cab pulls up next to me on the right. This is a single lane, remember. Then a SUV pulls up on the Left. So, now I have a vehicle on both sides of me in this single left turn lane. Being of normal intelligence, I wait until the light turns green and then wait for the idiots to decide who goes first. Then I proceed.

  2. In front of my Business there is a major urban street that has two lanes north, two lanes south, and a middle lane for left turns (either north or south). My customers must use this lane to enter my parking lot. But one block south there is another major urban street. So what happens is that many impatient drivers will start moving into the turn lane at least a block before the the other street (which is illegal since they are driving thru another intersection). This is right in front of my store. Well, the customers heading north pull into the turn lane to enter my parking lot suddenly have the impatient idiots heading south, pull directly in front of them. This leads to two vehicles nose to nose in the turn lane. This has led to some interesting situations. The best is probably when a customer was sitting in the turn lane, waiting for the southbound traffic to clear, when someone moved into the turn lane to turn at the street a full block south. The Southbound traffic was at a standstill, so my customer could not make the turn. The Southbound Idiot, decided not to wait and pulled into the Northbound lane to go around the customer in the turn lane. After passing the customer waiting to enter my parking lot (to the sounds of horns from northbound traffic {She was going the wrong way after all}) She returns to the middle turn lane just as another Southbound Driver moves into the Southbound lane. The results—CRASH!!! I later heard that the Southbound Idiot received a total of 12 different citations for that smooth move. Including, Improper turn (three counts, one for entering the turn lane, one for turning into the wrong lane, one for turning back into the turn lane), Wrong Way, No Insurance, Driving thru an Intersection in a turn lane, and several others.

I am surprised that she wasn’t on the cell phone and doing her makeup.

95

I don’t know why, but this reminds me of an episode of Seinfeld. I think you all know which one.

Oh yeah, bicycle couriers are the biggest arseholes on this planet. Last year, I was turning left to drive into a laneway in Adelaide, when from out of nowhere this bicycle courier cuts me off and I an within inches of hitting him! I honked and yelled at him, and he had the front to abuse me! If I wasn’t picking my wife up from the front of her building at the time, I would have stepped out of the car and inserted his bike into his lower intestine. With only his own blood and faeces for lubrication. :eek:

Of course, there was the time that I saw another one of these $&&%#%&%& (I can’t think of anything non-profane to say about these wastes of space, sperm, ova and oxygen) from the front window of my previous workplace. Said bicycle courier cuts this dude off as he was pulling up to park. The dude, who would have been about 6’3" and built like a small military fortification, stopped to have a word to this BC (it can either stand for bicycle courier, or bastard four-letter ‘c’ word, often referred to in Australian Rhyming Slang as ‘Rex Hunt’ :D) and said BC went off his tits at the dude in the car, even though BC was in the wrong. The worst part is when the dude went to his building, the BC decided to jump all over this dude’s car. :mad: I left my business card under the dude’s windscreen with a note saying that I saw this little BC damage his car and if he knew which company it was I would be more than happy to help get this little pusbag fired. He phoned me the day after, thanked me for my observance, and said he didn’t know which company he worked for, and was polite enough to refer to the BC as a ‘clown’ about 4 or 5 times.

I think i’ll continue the rest of this post in The Pit - those SOBs angry up the blood too much for me to post in MPSIMS. :mad:

Oh yeah, over 90% of cyclists who are in lycra deserve all the abuse they get and then some for being arrogant pricks. :mad:

And if there is anyone who reads this or is a member of the SDMB who is a member of either of these two groups and doesn’t like what i’m saying, you can freakin’ eat me. Arseholes.

96

[/Hijack]

psychogumby:

In my circle of friends, that “steal the space from behind” maneuver is known as a “Seinfeld.” Everybody knows what you mean if you say you found a good spot but were seinfelded.

[Hijack]

97

In Los Angeles, the Metro bus drivers apparently are trained that it’s okay to go through a yellow light (or even a red one!) as long as they blow the horn a few times. Gotta keep to that schedule, y’know… **
[/QUOTE]

In India, that is the standard practice. Honk the horn, make sure that nothing bigger than you is coming and just keep right on going. Red light, green light, stop sign, none of them are important, it is the size of the vehicle that matters.

98

Just you wait. Been practicing myself, and WOW! There are stupid people on the road.

For example - In my lovely home state of Massachusetts there is a city called Fitchburg. People out of state usually aren’t familiar with it, but people in state, particularly central MA know that this place is hell on wheels. Literally. It’s a pretty tight city. There are too many cars on not enough roads, most of which are pretty narrow. Many have multiple lanes, but it’s not enough to handle the traffic. The bordering towns of Lunenburg and Leominster are about as bad.

On this particular day - last Wednesday, in fact - I was pulling out of the Wendy’s in Fitchburg, intending to take a left. The street I’m pulling out onto is one of those horrors with a center turn lane. It being Fitchburg, there is simply no way in hell I can get across the close lane and turn lane into the far lane in one leap. Nope, gotta go to the middle one first and wait for an opening. So, I jump into the middle lane and look over my right shoulder to look for an opening. Just in time to see a massive blue SUV pull up about five feet from my bumper.

Naturally, I now can’t see a damn thing due to this SUV towering above me and blocking my view while way too close to me. To make it worse, the moron gives me a little “go ahead” signal. I skeptically edge forward and right a bit, and nearly get creamed by the oncoming traffic. No beef, gotta wait. But I CAN’T SEE! I start moving slowly forward in the turn lane (yes, in case you haven’t guessed, this is illegal) trying to get a better look. The idiot in the SUV follows me. Thanks, pal.

Finally, I manage to see that it’s safe, and take off, merging into the lane. Too bad this lady pulling into the right lane from a parking lot entrance on that side didn’t see me, no doubt due to the active Stealth Field ™. She proceeded to try and pull into the space I was in the process of occupying with my car, forcing me to swerve BACK INTO the turn lane (!) and accelerate ahead of her before dropping back into traffic. Thank goodness there was space ahead of her. I don’t she saw me until I got in front of her. Sigh. Sadly, in Fitchburg this isn’t just an everyday occurrence, this is better than an every hour occurrence. I hate Fitchburg.

99

Being a Navy brat, I’ve lived all over the place… being an Navy brat about to graduate from college, I’ve driven all over the place.

Observations from Guam:

Traffic signals…
Yellow: Go.
Red: Gun it!
Green: Watch for those running the red lights.

Seriously… I’ve had people pass me to run the lights.

Observations from Japan:

Japanese drivers are FEARLESS! We lived in northern Japan, snows 8 months per year. Narrow roads cut through snow, lots of tight curves, and they still seem to be oblivious to posted speed limits.

On my way back, I had to take a bus from one airport in Tokyo to another, to catch a connecting flight. I was suprised how many cars that passed on the road had little LCD TV screens on the dash. Even more suprised at how all of them seemed to be mounted so that the driver could see them best. Thank GOD we don’t have those here.

Observations from Hawaii:

It’s amazing what little rain showers do to the drivers here. On the intrastates (H1, H2, and H3), they’ll drive 70mph in a 55mph in normal conditions… give them a very light 30 second shower, and they’re down to 45. I consider myself to be a cautious driver… but it’s amazing to see people go to the extremes like that.
Other Miscellaneous Annoyances:

Can’t say it enough: tailgating. My usual tactic is this: The closer they get, the slower I drive. Here’s a little satisfaction though… I was going onto a military base here in Hawaii. I was driving a tiny 20-year-old Honda Civic, and this woman in a near-new red Dodge Ram was tailgating me for about a mile before we got to the gate. I stopped at the gate and asked the guards if they would kindly, “inform the driver behind me of the dangers of tailgating”. I drove past the gate, and stopped at a red light. After it turned green, and I went through, that pickup was still stopped at the guard shack.

Jay-walkers. I see it all the time on base. We have a 4 lane road with the exchange, commisary, a McDonald’s, etc. on one side, and a whole lot of barracks on the other side. There are quite a few crosswalks across this street. I’ve ticked off a number of drivers by stopping at crosswalks… if someone’s standing at the curb, and I can stop, I will. The least they could do is repay the courtesy… far too many Marines are too lazy to walk an extra few yards to use a crosswalk.

Finally, this last one, which is a story. My dad was riding a motorcycle home (South Alabama) from a base in Jacksonville, FL. It was late at night, and he was driving West on a 4 lane highway. He was in the left lane, and a van was ahead of him in the right lane, when they came up on a light. There was a woman waiting to go South at the red light, and the van was signaling a right turn. Because of the angles, all she could see was the van, so she decided to run the red light. My dad hit her driver-side door, flipped over the car, and slid down the highway. More than that… she was uninsured. He was very, very lucky… he only had a broken leg, and mom will never again let him ride a motorcycle.

100

[hijack]
well, it appears as though beadalin was well and truly seinfelded on the occasion cited in this thread.
[/hijack]

we now return to our regularly scheduled thread …