# Amazing Race 3/14: "I Am In Russia Playing With The Dolls" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 15, 2006, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388 "2006-03-15T00:11:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Whifton\_Polekitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Whifton\_Polekitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whifton_Polekitty)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/21 "2006-03-15T07:09:43Z")
I’m sure I’m not the only one that felt extreme giggles boiling out of me when Team Gonad looked ABSOLUTELY CRESTFALLEN that this wasn’t a pit stop. Methikns they were looking forward to a little more canoodling with Team Pink, and the prospect of a vacation someplace warm (with, again, Team Pink) was burning in the forefront of their fevered little brains. And yeah, I agree, **Otto** , Yolanda and Mama Salsa’s taking something almost certain to be involving swimming would be like me, Mr. Aracniphobe himself, taking on a road block with a clue like “Who wants to play with a million furry 8-legged demons”… Grrr, now I have to wait another week. ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/22 "2006-03-15T11:30:33Z")
When the Pinks were looking for a taxi, you could see a streetcar in the distance. Why didn’t they ask _its_ driver where the maintenance yard was? ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/23 "2006-03-15T12:04:31Z")
OK, I can’t be the only person to have noticed that, for all of their “Me want girlzzz” cavemanning, one of Team Gonad’s members patted the other one on the butt when they were leaving the pitstop. What’s that they say about overcompensating? I did not predict the TBC, because I was too busy trying to _just stay awake_ until the end of the episode. **rockle** , I, too, am a lameass. A _tired_ lameass. > [@Otto](#): > > OK seriously, Yolanda and Mama Salsa? You’re at a big swimming pool. The clue is “who’s ready to take the plunge” and you are terrified of the water. Did it not occur to you that maybe, just maybe, sending you to a pool and talking about plunging might involve swimming and you just might be the wrong person to take the Road Block? Add me to the list of folks who were yelling this at the TV last night. (There’s no such list? huh. OK, I’ll start one…) What part of that surprised them? Well, obviously the swimming part, but it shouldn’t have. See, I’m so tired from staying up to see the Race that I can’t even post coherently… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/24 "2006-03-15T12:10:29Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > OK seriously, Yolanda and Mama Salsa? You’re at a big swimming pool. The clue is “who’s ready to take the plunge” and you are terrified of the water. Did it not occur to you that maybe, just maybe, sending you to a pool and talking about plunging might involve swimming and you just might be the wrong person to take the Road Block? Amen. Hey, I’m scared of heights, swim like a rock, can’t stomach 90% of all food, hate travelling, have no physical stamina, and panic easily under stress. Maybe I should send in an audition tape. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/25 "2006-03-15T12:13:55Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Amen. Hey, I’m scared of heights, swim like a rock, can’t stomach 90% of all food, hate travelling, have no physical stamina, and panic easily under stress. Maybe I should send in an audition tape. If you’re afraid of leaves on top of that, I have another show you could audition for, too… ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/26 "2006-03-15T12:32:43Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Ha! I caught it when they read the clue that said “Look for Phil…” Smug mode ENGAGED. Change your name to **Smughead**. I caught that too; very surprising that Team Gonad didn’t. Did they not watch any of the previous seasons? “Look for Phil” is a dead giveaway that it’s a TBC. I wonder who else next week will be flummoxed by it. I’m predicting a “guldungit” from Lake at the very least, perhaps coupled with an ingenious attempt to blame Michelle for it. The worst thing about this being a TBC is that we have another week of whiny Team Frankenberry to endure. ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/27 "2006-03-15T12:42:51Z")
Awesome! A to-be-continued leg in episode three! I did not see that coming. I honestly hope that they replace all the stupid make-the-Americans-beg-for-money NELs with TBCs. Of note in this episode: clearly the bus-washing is the superior Detour choice. Looking through hundreds of stacking Russian dolls is an obvious time waster. And yet…some substantial proportion of the teams choosing the dolls got out of there quickly. I wonder if the cab difficulties were an intentional, if hidden, part of the bus-washing Detour. Amazing switchup, that. Even though it’s a NEL, we can make some observations about theam choices. So it’s time for the **Taxi Assessment** **Stuck in the Desert and Officially Detained** - or, Philiminated with extreme prejudice. John & Scott and Lisa & Joni - Amongst the worst Racers EVAR. **Flat Tire** - or, not likely to get anywhere soon. Fran & Barry (holding steady) - Even when a bunching point helps them out (and note they were in _second_ for a short time at the pool), they still end up dropping way behind. They either can’t catch a break or they’re just naturally slow–neither of which is a good sign. Danielle & Dani (holding steady) - Oops. Major goof losing the Amazing Purse. I guess they were mesmerized by the studly perfection embodied by Eric and Jeremy. Completely understandable. Smart work getting some Russian phrasing down pat on the plane, though. I keep thinking this team will suprise, but they tend to make dumb mistakes, and they can’t afford to make too many of them. They stay here in “Flat Tire” for now. **Stopping for Gas** - or, not broken-down, exactly, but not a good sign. Lake & Michelle (holding steady) - DO NOT QUESTION WHY I TURN RIGHT, WOMAN, FOR I HAVE MADE THE DECISION AND WILL NOT BE SECOND-GUESSED. Christ, Lake. Listen to your wife once in a while. This team continues to do stupid things, but then catch lucky breaks. That can’t hold up, and eventually something will happen (something that’s Michelle’s fault) to knock them out. **"Rapido! Por Favor?"** - or, making meaningless ineffectual comments from the back seat, but in no immediate danger. Ray & Yolanda (holding steady) - Ray? Yolanda? If the clue reads, “who’s ready to take a plunge?” and you’re at a natatorium, why would you send the person who’s _afraid of water_ in to do it? Lucky for them, it didn’t seem to cost more than a minute or so of time, but Jeez. Not good decision-making skills. I think there are clearly teams worse off than Ray & Yolanda, but I had expected them to be better. Wanda & Desiree (holding steady) - Wanda? Desiree? See above, re: Ray & Yolanda. Unless Desiree is actually allergic to water or something, you made a dumb choice. You really really can’t do that too often and expect to stay in the Race. **In the Passing Lane** - or, ahead of the pack, but not quite comfortably. Joseph & Monica (holding steady) - They didn’t seem to appear much at all in this episode, so I don’t have much of an opportunity to revise my opinion of them. They made what seemed to be the right Detour choice, but got screwed by the obscurity of the park-n-wash. I rather like the idea of teaming up with Dave & Lori to save on cab fare…except it might be interesting next ep, when the two teams think they’re in last place. Will they still share the cab to Red Square, or will one team screw the other? David & Lori (holding steady) - Also not so much in this episode. Ditto Joseph & Monica comments, and we’ll see what happens next week. **Cruisin’ with Earl** - or, drivin’ on the shoulder, takin’ shortcuts, and generally kickin’ butt. Eric & Jeremy (holding steady) - Somehow, still in first place, even after a bunching point and a Detour that was essentially luck. I’m not sure that “follow that cab!” is an adequate answer to language difficulties, particularly if you don’t know _where_ the cab is going, but there’s something to be said for going _somewhere_ instead of _nowhere_. BJ & Tyler (holding steady) - Yeah, they’re pretend hippies who treat this whole Race like a _game_ (…pause…) but they’re smart enough and athletic enough and enthusiastic enough to go all the way. Next week: The second part! [sub]Props to **Mullinator** and his Raj Ratings.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/28 "2006-03-15T12:43:57Z")
Yes, add me to the list of people who thought Yolanda and Mama Salsa should have figured out that the RoadBlock was going to involve swimming. Did anyone else catch Michelle’s comment about why she didn’t want to do it? She didn’t want ‘those Russians’ to see her in a bathing suit. :rolleyes: Can’t wait till she gets to India. And yes, Lake is an Ass. Michelle had the map, knew which way to go, and told him. He completely ignored her and went the other way, and still tried to blame her. He’s obviously not as bad as Jonathan, but he’s a close second. And once again someone forgets their fanny pack. I caught that it would be a TBC when there was no greeter with Phil, although a bit late. When the Frat Boys were running up, I said, “Hey, there’s no Greeter!” I was expecting a guy in a big fur hat, like the one George Costanza had on that one episode of _Seinfeld_. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/29 "2006-03-15T12:48:07Z")
I meant to ask - was there a production member going behind the Doll-opening people, putting them back together, or putting out more sets? They were just leaving the opened sets of dolls where they were. When other teams showed up, there were no doll sets strewn around. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/30 "2006-03-15T13:09:23Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > If it doesn’t turn out that Dani and Danielle’s associating with Team Gonad at the pit stop is part of some strategy to use the boys and dispose of them like Kleenex then I will retroactively lose all respect for them back to today. For this to happen, The Pinks would have to be in front, and I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon. The guys seem very good, the girls boobs just aren’t big enough to get them in the lead. Lake is really getting on my nerves. I hope they(he) screw up real fast and fall behind the old couple. Last week I said I bet Lake will just love Russia, and I snickered something fierce when he was all irritated over going there. Jajajaja. Did Lake’s wife say “We might have to swim naked” ?? Or am I hearing things. Now I hope they have to go to a bus or train station and get around that way. That would be nice. Those damn hippies lost the lead. I wish they had shown how they got out of there. But I’m really getting tired of orange pants. And here I thought since they’re going to Russia, we wouldn’t hear anymore Spanish. Wrong again. At least it wasn’t _rapido_! ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/31 "2006-03-15T13:13:24Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > **rockle** , I, too, am a lameass. A _tired_ lameass. … See, I’m so tired from staying up to see the Race that I can’t even post coherently… Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, does this show _kick my ass_ … how bad is it, do you ask? Well, this morning, I put on makeup _before_ I took a shower, that’s how bad it is. And on top of that, the eyeliner? _Was lipliner_. Yeah, I am in a bad way. And still? _Totally farkin’ worth it!_ “TBC” episodes are awesome! (Plus “Lost” is a repeat tonight, so I’m going to bed at like 6:00.) ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/32 "2006-03-15T13:15:46Z")
I can’t believe that Fran & Barry didn’t think to open all the dolls in each stack. Although, it shouldn’t have suprised me. So far, when given a decision, they’ve managed to do the exact opposite of what they should’ve done. I don’t understand why Mama Salsa couldn’t get deep enough under the water. I’m not a swimmer, but don’t you automaticaly sink by not doing anything? ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/33 "2006-03-15T13:25:39Z")
> [@Batsinma Belfry](#): > > I don’t understand why Mama Salsa couldn’t get deep enough under the water. I’m not a swimmer, but don’t you automaticaly sink by not doing anything? Not really, no, unless you have like 0% body fat. Most people are buoyant enough naturally that a little effort is required to dive under water. It looks like Mama Salsa was freaking out over nothing, though; didn’t it look like the clues were maybe 5-6 feet down? Granted, the underwater camera probably distorted things a little, but it’s not like the clues were anchored at the bottom of a 20’ pool. I wonder why nobody climbed out of the water and dove back down to get the clues – were they not allowed to do that? I don’t remember what the **Roadblock** clue said. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/34 "2006-03-15T14:46:00Z")
> [@rockle](#): > > Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, does this show _kick my ass_ … how bad is it, do you ask? Well, this morning, I put on makeup _before_ I took a shower, that’s how bad it is. And on top of that, the eyeliner? _Was lipliner_. Yeah, I am in a bad way. Wow. I thought I was in bad shape, but once again, **rockle** wins. 🙂 Eric and Jeremy are growing on me. They’re no hippies, but they crack me up. Sure, they’ll stay with the Pinks–until the Pinks slow them down. They’ve got their priorities, at least. And if they’re secure enough in their masculinity to smack each other on the butt and admit they were looking at boy-whores and then _laugh_ about it, more power to 'em. Lake’s a dick. That’s all I’ve got. I was kinda hoping the punchbuggy would cave in and end his race right there. I think the racers had to put the dolls back together themselves. I would have had one person disassembling, and the other reassembling. And that music would have driven me batshit inside five minutes. I had more to say, but I had to go get yelled at by the Boss, so I’ve since forgotten it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/35 "2006-03-15T15:06:23Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Lake’s a dick. That’s all I’ve got. I was kinda hoping the punchbuggy would cave in and end his race right there. Heh…yeah, when they were out in the middle of nowhere looking for the right road, I said to **supervenusfreak** , “Well, at least if they’re stranded for long, all that sugar cane will keep them alive for a while…” ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/36 "2006-03-15T15:38:25Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I meant to ask - was there a production member going behind the Doll-opening people, putting them back together, or putting out more sets? They were just leaving the opened sets of dolls where they were. When other teams showed up, there were no doll sets strewn around. I saw the teams very carefully putting the dolls back together. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/37 "2006-03-15T15:52:51Z")
Ray made a comment about how he can’t swim either. Maybe he and Desiree would have been even more useless? But anyway, if there’s any pattern we should recognize by now, it’s that when we see a Racer saying “Omigod, I can’t do this, I’m terrified/phobic/etc.”, followed by a cut to commercial, then we’ll see them doing it anyway no more than 10 seconds more into the show. The zipline is a requirement of the show, just like rappelling and stick shifts. It’s good to see that crap checked off the list early, so we can see the \*real \* challenges - like a concentration task next to a folk-music band and dancers, all of whom seemed to be \*really \* enjoying it - not. Give props to a couple of teams this time for at least buying a Russian phrasebook in the Frankfurt airport. It might not have helped, but it was still better than “El trunk”, as somebody said. I’m pretty sure Russia, like many other countries, requires visas, and they have to be arranged well ahead of time. Wouldn’t the contestants have a fair idea about the route just from signing visa applications given them by the producers? So far, I have to pick the hippies to win. They’re fit, always completely relaxed but always aware, and they’re obviously smarter than the clown act they always put on. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/38 "2006-03-15T16:08:29Z")
> [@Mama Tiger](#): > > That nesting doll detour? With the music and dancing? One of my top five favorite race challenges _ever_. Absolutely. That was edited so nicely, it was surreal; dolls, musicians, cossack dancing…I said out loud “I LOVE THIS SHOW!”. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/39 "2006-03-15T16:18:50Z")
It looks like Germany next week – Stuttgart test track, and Frankenberry in lederhosen doing the slap dance. Kindof a roundabout route; you’d think they’d have gone Brazil - Germany - Russia. Must’ve had logistics problems in setting up the schedule. I love this show! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388/40 "2006-03-15T16:27:07Z")
Looks like we’re off to Germany next. The last double leg that I remember (in India) had a long train ride after the non-pitstop. You can go from Moscow to Germany by train, but it’s a long trip. I thought I saw Wanda missing an exit on the autobahn and backing up. That’s really not smart. I didn’t recognize that high-banked track they were on. There’s the old Avus track in Berlin, and a little google-fu reveals another one in Papenburg, but neither looked quite right. And both of those are in northern Germany, but the Colorful Native Garb looked Bavarian. They could be going anywhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-3-14-i-am-in-russia-playing-with-the-dolls/348388.md?page=3)