# Amazing Race: Family 12/13 - FINALE **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 13, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434 "2005-12-13T17:10:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/1 "2005-12-13T17:10:12Z")
Oooh … two descriptions for this week’s FINALE! Well, one is more like a commentary, but anyway … > [@Yahoo! TV](#): > > Family teams travel the world in a race to arrive at the destination and take home the prize. > [@Yahoo! Daily TV Picks](#): > > The first “family” version of “The Amazing Race” is coming to an end tonight, featuring three remaining teams – the Bransens (currently in first place), the Linz family and the Weaver family. By the end of the two-hour finale, one of these clans will be $1 million richer. They’ve traveled all over the United States – and a bit into South America (no truly exotic trips to Thailand or India in this installment). Spending that much time with your relatives deserves some kind of reward; apparently, CBS thinks so too, and will give the two families who don’t win the grand prize one final chance to win big (namely, a 2006 GMC Yukon XL). Good luck to all! I would like to edit that last quote by removing the last sentence and replacing it with _“Good luck to everyone who isn’t a Weaver, including the Armies of Darkness, if necessary!”_ Any guesses on the winners? I’m hoping for the Linzes, obviously, because the only thing that would make the Linz boys cuter would be to hand them wads of cash. _Call me, Tommy!_ ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/2 "2005-12-13T17:15:20Z")
For all the jokes about how he’s going too slow and is about to have a coronary, Wally Bransen has hung in there, and the Bransens are currently leading the pack. Of course, there’s stuff in the previews about how he throws a hissy fit in some stadium, but for all we know, it lasts all of ten seconds. His daughters never seem to be cowed by his moments of defeatism. The Linzes have looked good on paper from day one, but we’ve all seen how easily they are left in the dust. No reason it can’t happen tonight as well. And I don’t want to live in a world where the Weavers win. My money’s on the Wallster. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/3 "2005-12-13T17:27:15Z")
> [@scotandrsn](#): > > For all the jokes about how he’s going too slow and is about to have a coronary, Wally Bransen has hung in there, and the Bransens are currently leading the pack. Of course, there’s stuff in the previews about how he throws a hissy fit in some stadium, but for all we know, it lasts all of ten seconds. His daughters never seem to be cowed by his moments of defeatism. … My money’s on the Wallster. All good points, of course. Rumour has it that the stadium in question is Stade Olympique in Montréal. I hear the rats there are _disgusting_. I hope Ma Weaver gets bitten. Does that make me a worse person than I already am? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/4 "2005-12-13T17:42:41Z")
> [@rockle](#): > > I hope Ma Weaver gets bitten. Does that make me a worse person than I already am? I don’t know, but it certainly makes _me_ want to be your friend forever. 😃 As much as I’m pulling for the Linzes, I would also not be at all suprised to see Big Daddy and the Girls win it. As much as Wally brings them down, he actually _doesn’t_, and always comes through in the clutch. I am spending the day pretending the _effing Weavers_ don’t exist. La la la la Ma _Who?_ ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/5 "2005-12-13T17:45:24Z")
I am going to shamelessly steal a line from Miss Alli at TWOP: “Go Linzes! Otherwise, Go Bransons! Otherwise, Go Power Outage!” ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/6 "2005-12-13T17:46:33Z")
Maybe their god will smite them just as they approach the finish line. Certainly would make a convert of me. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/7 "2005-12-13T17:47:14Z")
I don’t know about you, but to me, the scariest word in that description is “first”. As in “The first family edition”. Please tell me they’re not planning another one. This season hasn’t been terrible, but it hasn’t been great, either. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/8 "2005-12-13T17:55:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **rockle** > I hope Ma Weaver gets bitten. Does that make me a worse person than I already am? > [@Draelin](#): > > I don’t know, but it certainly makes _me_ want to be your friend forever. 😃 Me, too! 😃 > [@](#): > > I am spending the day pretending the _effing Weavers_ don’t exist. La la la la Ma _Who?_ Weavers? We don’t need no stinkin’ Weavers! ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/9 "2005-12-13T18:32:31Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > I am spending the day pretending the effing Weavers don’t exist. La la la la Ma Who? > [@BiblioCat](#): > > Weavers? We don’t need no stinkin’ Weavers! I believe I shall write a poem about the _effing_ Who?-vers. And the poem shall go like this: _I hope a Customs Agent Detains your asses And you freeze in Canada_ In the interest of Equal Time, I have also written a poem for Tommy Linz, and it goes something like this: _Take off your orange T-shirt You sexy savage And tell me some frat boy jokes_ Do you think Tommy will like it? _Call me, Tommy!_ ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/10 "2005-12-13T18:36:35Z")
I’m gonna go out on a limb here. I"m thinking that the Weavers don’t win it. Here’s why… I’m basing my prediction on the assumption that the rumor is true that they contributed nothing to the New Orleans family. To me, this means they didn’t win. We all know how psychotic they are — so disconnected from reality that they actually believe that they are being nice and that everybody is being mean to them for no reason whatsoever. They have no concept of the fact that they are white trash. They feel superior to everyone around them, and yet are in fact two notches below tree sloths. If they had won, they would have seen it as vindication and, standing from a high and mighty place, they would have wanted to be seen as merciful and generous. But from a low place of shame and self-pity after losing, they would be holding a grudge and still blaming other people for their plight. Thus, they would withhold contributing, rationalizing that everyone — including New Orleans — owes _them_ something. I don’t think they’d miss an opportunity to remind the world how their god was on their side, and being charitable would do that in their eyes. And I think they’d blame every soul they encountered in the race if they lost. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/11 "2005-12-13T18:38:55Z")
**rockle** , how many times do I have to tell you to stop drooling all over the threads? 😉 What are we going to do now that our Linz boys and Rafe are gone? There’s no one to fawn over! ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/12 "2005-12-13T18:43:20Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > What are we going to do now that our Linz boys and Rafe are gone? There’s no one to fawn over! I know … _le sigh_ … the absolute _worst_ part is that there are no new episodes of “Prison Break” until like February or something. That’s the _real_ shame, because Wentworth Miller is my boyfriend. I suppose I’ll have to console myself by watching actual _commercials_, looking for that cute silly brother from _last_ TAR season, in the Miller Lite ads. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/13 "2005-12-13T18:57:53Z")
I’m not at all excited about tonight’s finale, which speaks volumes about how dreadfully boring this season has been. The Simpsons S7 box set…now _that’s_ excitement! Hopefully it will arrive in my mailbox today…I hope I hope I hope… Oh, and the Narnia movie, but I promised my Mom I wouldn’t watch it until she comes to town this weekend. (Need someone to debate the Christian subtext with.) Also the Rush 30th Anniversary DVD which I’ve been promised for Christmas… …what’s that? Oh yeah, TAR. Well, I did browse some of the earlier threads and it’s interesting just how WRONG some of our initial impressions were of the racers. For example: Weavers, Old CW: Sentimental favorites, certain to be eliminated early in one of the saddest Philiminations ever. Weavers, New CW: Demonspawn from Hell who WON’T GET OFF MY TV!!! Paolos, Old CW: Obnoxious and dysfunctional, hope they get eliminated soon. Paolos, New CW: Obnoxious and dysfunctional, but in an endearing way, and it was sad to see them go. Bransens, Old CW: Wally’s on the verge of his 7th heart attack which will eliminate them early. Bransens, New CW: Wally’s kickin’ ass! Gaghans, Old CW: Kids, huh? They’re not gonna last long. Gaghans, New CW: Well, they didn’t last all that long…but the kids had nothing to do with it. Schroders, Old CW: Solid team that’s likely to make it far in the race. Schroders, New CW: Hopeless team that can’t even find the pit stop in their own home town. Blacks, Old CW: Get ready for an entire season of “black” jokes! Blacks, New CW: Who? Linzes, Old CW: Friendly, good-looking, certain to make the final three, favorites to win. Linzes, New CW: Admit it, this was an easy one. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/14 "2005-12-13T19:00:47Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > What are we going to do now that our Linz boys and Rafe are gone? There’s no one to fawn over! I’m going to get me a pile of Johnny Depp movies and try to push through until next reality season. 🙂 I think **Liberal** might be right about the _effing Whovers_ (who do not live in Whoville, as Cindy Lou Who beat Rolly’s ass and sent them packing). At least, I’m hoping **Liberal** is right. What I’m waiting for is when Rolly tries to trip the Linz (couldn’t see which one it was, but I _thought_ it was Alex–one of 'em’s named Alex, right? :D) and Ma Whover goes _nucking futs_ with “Don’t hurt him!” In my very valuable (to me) opinion, Rolly deserves whatever he gets if he wants to play that dirty. I hope Alex locks him in a full nelson and lets Tommy and Nick (and Meg, too) take their best shots. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/15 "2005-12-13T19:01:54Z")
> [@rockle](#): > > Rumour has it that the stadium in question is Stade Olympique in Montréal. I hear the rats there are _disgusting_. I hope Ma Weaver gets bitten. No rat would ever bite Ma Weevil. Professional courtesy. They might nest in her hair though. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/16 "2005-12-13T19:06:03Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > No rat would ever bite Ma Weevil. Professional courtesy. > > They might nest in her hair though. Snerk. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/17 "2005-12-13T19:32:31Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > I’m going to get me a pile of Johnny Depp movies and try to push through until next reality season. 🙂 I suggest you start with _Chocolat_. He doesn’t show up till about halfway though the movie, but mmmmm, chocolate and Johnny Depp. Yummy! > [@](#): > > … wants to play that dirty. I hope Alex locks him in a full nelson and lets Tommy and Nick (and Meg, too) take their best shots. Mmmmm, Alex can get me in a full-nelson and let Tommy and Nick take their best shots any time! I wanna ‘play dirty’ with the Linzes! 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/18 "2005-12-13T19:41:01Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I suggest you start with _Chocolat_. He doesn’t show up till about halfway though the movie, but mmmmm, chocolate and Johnny Depp. Yummy! It’s the Irish accent that gets me, every time. 😉 > [@](#): > > Mmmmm, Alex can get me in a full-nelson and let Tommy and Nick take their best shots any time! I wanna ‘play dirty’ with the Linzes! 😃😃😃 This is going to be another one of those threads where the Race itself is almost incidental. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/19 "2005-12-13T19:57:00Z")
Tonight also marks the return of Team Wee Carrisa, Desperate Housewives & The Paolos!!! I wonder if the Paolos will be fighting about where to stand as the first team comes running up. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/20 "2005-12-13T21:44:56Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I suggest you start with _Chocolat_. He doesn’t show up till about halfway though the movie, but mmmmm, chocolate and Johnny Depp. Yummy! Hmm … that sounds good enough to be a [Detour](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6638823&postcount=142) in the Amazing Race of rockle’s Sick Little Mind, doesn’t it? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434.md?page=2)