# Amazing Race: Family 12/13 - FINALE **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 13, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434 "2005-12-13T17:10:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/101 "2005-12-14T07:28:33Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > Every time I see the winners of the show running to the final destination, I become very emotional. I can almost feel the level of physical and mental exhaustion these people must feel, then combined with their exhilaration, and I completely lose it. > > Last season I bawled really hard, when Uchenna and Joyce won. I don’t think that win will ever be topped for me. I’m with ya on that one (yeah, west coast feed, late to the party as usual). When the editors made it seem that Romber was right on U and J’s heels while Uchenna nobly fished for cab fare, I was repeatedly screaming “NO!” at my TV. And the final run to the mat gets me all misty every time. Never as much as TAR1, when I didn’t know it was coming, and considerably less so for this lackluster outing, but if I told you the Linzes approach didn’t get me a little choked up, I’d be lying. I’m happy for the Linzes, they certainly ran a hell of a race, and deserve every dime, but damn! Gotta hand it to Wally Bransen! Brings it home to almost a foot race. Good thing they have that free car and all that free gas, cuz’ he’s gonna be making lotsa trips to the hospital after the adrenalin wears off. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/102 "2005-12-14T07:37:44Z")
Those who missed seeing the Weavers attempt to make the map need to see the followup competition for a GMC Yukon. They have to find 12 icons representing things they saw on the race, and place them correctly on the map. The Weasels lose again YAY! ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/103 "2005-12-14T07:42:28Z")
Woo hoo! I was getting really worried at the beginning there, but it all worked out in the end. Did no one notice that when they got the fly to Montreal clue, one of the Weaver girls said something about needing warmer clothes than her cutoffs to go to Canada? Yes, I know, frozen north and all that, but it was the middle of freakin’ summer, and Montreal’s hot and _humid_ in summer. Of course, I’m sure they were just disappointed they didn’t get to see any igloos. And I think I got some insight into why teams always seem to do so poorly in their hometowns. When Phil said that the curling detour option was about 20 or so miles away, my first reaction was “Huh? McGill’s right downtown. I know exactly where the arena is.” It finally dawned on me that they needed to get to the other campus, but under race conditions I probably would’ve just seen the words “McGill” and “arena” and directed the driver to McConnell arena by name, because that’s the one I would’ve thought of immediately. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/104 "2005-12-14T07:50:42Z")
> [@scotandrsn](#): > > And the final run to the mat gets me all misty every time. Never as much as TAR1, when I didn’t know it was coming, and considerably less so for this lackluster outing, but if I told you the Linzes approach didn’t get me a little choked up, I’d be lying. Well, this was the first time I didn’t tear up during the run up the mat, mostly because I was so relieved that the Weavers weren’t close. But when Megan started crying, damn it, the tears came. But mostly I’m glad this season is over and we can get back to a normal race with more exotic locales than Huntsville, Alabama come February. Here’s to a long race for Team Nerd! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/105 "2005-12-14T10:53:03Z")
Now that was a race! One spot to the next to the next, no bunching, no rest(except for ma), just go. The puzzle was a nice touch. Good job. Didn’t Wally have the lead there for a while during the puzzle? He must have slowed down, didn’t want to make a mistake. Hope his toe is all right, good thing he didn’t kick someone’s ass too. Cool, because I’m going to Montreal in a couple months. Looked nice. And next year they’re going to Moscow!!! I’m so jealous, I might be going there this summer. That should awesome, I doubt many contestants know any cyrilic or Russian. They’re going to get so lost! I know you need a visa to get in, and it takes a while to get it. I wonder how they manuevered that. They stick it right in your passport, unless the got Russia to bend the rules… I think I already hate those BoyToys. Nerds rule! ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/106 "2005-12-14T10:56:27Z")
Well, I had a pleasant evening with The Simpsons Season 7 DVD. Only got disc one today, but I got to see who shot Mr. Burns, Rainier Wolfcastle’s attempt at playing Radioactive Man (“My eyes! The goggles do nothing!”) and learned all about that Treehouse of Horror episode with CGI Homer, which was cutting edge back in '95 but looks oh so primitive now! Plus the commentaries were great, the highlights being David Mirkin’s account of meeting Paul McCartney (who agreed to do “Lisa the Vegetarian” but only if Lisa _remained_ a vegetarian forever) and how “Bart Sells His Soul” was inspired by the writer’s real life high school experience… Huh? Did I miss something? Oh yeah, some reality show I gotta watch. Guess I better fire up Tivo and get it over with… _(…two hours later…)_ Well, that wasn’t all that bad. Had a slight twinge of fear when the Weavers nearly gave up searching for the stadium clue (too many parallels to Zach & Flo…shudder) but as soon as they showed the geography clue, I knew we were golden. (And I’m positive the Weevils got a “mercy clue” and didn’t have to do the map, otherwise they would have arrived at the finish line at night.) Hard to believe, but this was the second closest finish in TAR history! The only thing that would’ve made it sweeter was if Tommy totally forgot about Rhode Island…not that I have anything against the Linzes mind you, I just really wanted the Bransens to win. Plus, Tommy would have been so pissed that he would’ve ripped off his top and finished the puzzle shirtless, and Nick & Alex would have removed their shirts as well in support…mmm, shirtless Linz muscles! (Well…not really. Just trying to get into the spirit of things here.) TAR9 in February…now THAT’S some real excitement! Wow, those two brunette chicks look DAMN cute…do they have team pictures up at [CBS.com](http://CBS.com) yet? ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/107 "2005-12-14T11:00:30Z")
> [@The Big Cheese](#): > > And next year they’re going to Moscow!!! I’m so jealous, I might be going there this summer. That should awesome, I doubt many contestants know any cyrilic or Russian. They’re going to get so lost! I know you need a visa to get in, and it takes a while to get it. I wonder how they manuevered that. They stick it right in your passport, unless the got Russia to bend the rules… They already visited Russia in TAR5, so visa issues must not be that big a problem. Which reminds me, I saw Greece in that preview. At last, they’re going to Greece! (Unless it was one of those Parthenon lookalikes from Anatolia or someplace…) Speaking of borders…did tonight’s teams actually cross the Niagra River from Canada to the U.S. without going through customs? Is that legal?? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/108 "2005-12-14T11:47:13Z")
> [@rockle](#): > > All good points, of course. Rumour has it that the stadium in question is Stade Olympique in Montréal. I hear the rats there are _disgusting_. I hope Ma Weaver gets bitten. Does that make me a worse person than I already am? Yes. Yes it does. What did that poor rat ever do to _you_? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/109 "2005-12-14T12:10:26Z")
Dear God, We call people names, yet get pissed when people return our bile. We throw things at other people’s cars. We litter. We talk trash about people’s appearance. We _only_ pray to You when we want something or when we got something. Somehow the bad things that happen are never your will. We make the 13-ish year old boy do all the hard challenges and then yell at him to “hurry up” when he’s tired afterwards. We also have a creepy “He’s daddy’s replacement” vibe going with the kid. He also has to be the adult too much of the time. When the kid tackles someone, it’s Your will. When he’s about to get punched for it, it’s the other guy’s fault. We dis Mormons. We hate the wonder and majesty of your creation. Everywhere we go, eee how ugly you made stuff.\* We know that everyone is jealous of us 'cuz You love us more than You luv everyone else in the whole world. We know that we’re not only saved, we’re not only forgiven, but that we can do no wrong in your eyes. See? We’ve lived our lives _exactly_ by your teachings, and since we did, you’re s’pposed to _give us stuff_. I mean, isn’t that the deal? We pray for what we want and You give it to us? So why _did you make us lose?_ And not only lose, but come in third behind those horrible Linzes who were laughing and having fun most of the time and those horrible Bransens who also had a lot of fun, even if the dad was kind of a whiney pessimist. You didn’t give us what we wanted, when we wanted it and how we wanted it. You broke the deal, so we may never pray to You again. Disgusted, Ma Weevil and her three little Wevlings. (Note from Fenris: Excluding \* and Victoria, they may have been the most obnoxious team ever. I mean, Flo was pretty bad towards the end during her meltdown, but at least she was fun/funny early on. The Weevils were never fun or interesting. They had _no_ good points. Also, they showed Red Rocks, Colorado in the previews–and I _think_ it was the starting point of the race. Which means that they were less than 10 minutes from where I work! How kewl is that?) \*How can anyone hate Utah’s scenery? I can only assume that their standards of beauty are warped by some strange sense of self-preservation. If they had a normal sense of beauty, they might have to kill themselves or go insane or something when they looked in a mirror. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/110 "2005-12-14T12:45:47Z")
I have to go back and look at my tape, but did Rolly have a departure slip in his hand at the stadium and then put it back? I swear they showed him with something in his hand that look like one of the papers with the departure times on it - and then he was the one so insistent on looking again (obviously, they had to). They kept showing his face with the ominous music. I was waiting for him to confess finding a departure slip and putting it back in hopes of finding one with an earlier time. What would have happened if they hadn’t found one? What if they just showed up at the airport? Oh yeah - **YAY LINZES!!! YAY BRANSONS!!!** Count me in with those who wanted to see one of the Weevils try the map puzzle. That would have been good. I’m also betting they got a pass on it. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/111 "2005-12-14T13:01:10Z")
> [@fiddlesticks](#): > > Well, this was the first time I didn’t tear up during the run up the mat, mostly because I was so relieved that the Weavers weren’t close. But when Megan started crying, damn it, the tears came. I dreamed last night about the Race. It was the last leg, and the Linzes were running towards the finish line, and they stopped like five feet in front of Phil and started yelling, “Where’s **rockle**? _Where’s **rockle**?_ We need her to finish!” And I came out from behind the Aiellos or something, holding a turkey-and-cheese hoagie with extra mayo _(?!?!)_, and Tommy picks me up and then the Linzes all jump onto the mat and Phil tells them they won. Megan starts hugging me and crying, blahblahblahcakes, and then Phil tells _me_ that I _also_ win a million dollars, _plus_ I win a date with the male of my choice from the Race, _ **plus** _ I get to go with the camera crew when they tell the Weavers to stop the puzzle and head for the mat. I tell Phil that I’ll give up my million dollars _and_ my date if I can tell the Weavers _myself_ that they’re a bunch of losers. Phil agrees, and I am whisked off to the Giant Puzzle Board, where the Weavers are standing around, sort of staring at each other. They don’t even have _Florida_ in the right place (it’s somewhere up near Michigan on their planet, apparently). And I say to them, “The G.I. Janes say hello from the Finish Line, _suckas!_” and then I just laugh and laugh and _laugh._ Then Tommy tells me I’m a beautiful baby and asks me out anyway. Then my cat licked my nose, and I woke up. Best. Dream. EVER! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/112 "2005-12-14T13:36:54Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > They already visited Russia in TAR5, so visa issues must not be that big a problem. Aha, my first full viewing was during the Charla & Mirna season, aboot halfway thru-a couple episodes before they got the boot. I thought this show was real hokey before that. I hope next year there isn’t any hatred like this year, because that really sucked-imho. Who was it, The Linz’s that got the Jamaican driver?? (tipoff–Besides the accent, the first thing he asked about was a tip) Yea, they’re fast, but they don’t know where they’re going!!! Didn’t the Bransens get the first flight out of Billings? And a non-stop? How’d they end up in 3rd? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/113 "2005-12-14T15:11:33Z")
They were all on the same flight from Billings to Minneapolis. The other 2 teams took an earlier Air Canada flight from there to Toronto and connecting to Montreal while the Bransens took a later nonstop to Montreal. They all bunched up the next morning at Aeroport St.-Hubert, anyway. Did anybody else catch the Bransens picking the logrolling roadblock because “We do curling all the time. We like to try new things” Um, wtf, people? Did you forget this is a _race_? I can picture Rolly thinking “As soon as I’m 18, I am _totally_ out of here.” Really, the Team Dad Is Dead kids are basically OK, it’s only Linda who’s around the bend. ---
**Author:** ![annieclaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5a626/32.png) [@annieclaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annieclaus)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/114 "2005-12-14T15:15:20Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Did anybody else catch the Bransens picking the logrolling roadblock because “We do curling all the time. We like to try new things” Um, wtf, people? Did you forget this is a _race_? They said that AFTER they had completed the log-rolling task which I think they found tougher than anticipated. And I think they said it totally in jest! ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/115 "2005-12-14T15:19:07Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I have to go back and look at my tape, but did Rolly have a departure slip in his hand at the stadium and then put it back? I swear they showed him with something in his hand that look like one of the papers with the departure times on it I think I remember what you’re talking about. I thought it was the clue instructions that _told_ them to look for the departure times. > [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Did anybody else catch the Bransens picking the logrolling roadblock because “We do curling all the time. We like to try new things” Um, wtf, people? Did you forget this is a _race_? They were joking. ---
**Author:** ![annieclaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5a626/32.png) [@annieclaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annieclaus)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/116 "2005-12-14T15:47:36Z")
I watched the video of the Amazing Final Challenge or whatever CBS called it. It was the runner-up race for the Yukon. I’ll box the results: The Bransens and the Weevils had to find 12 icons, one at a time, that related to the race and place them in the correct spot on the completed puzzle maps. The Bransens won. They were happy. Hope they got some cash to pay all the income taxes on the stuff they won during the race. We didn’t get to see the Weevils’ nasty faces after losing, yet again. By the way, I caught the final three families on The Early Show this morning. The Linzes are going to give half their winnings to their parents and split the remaining half among the 7 Linz children! How nice is that. The Bransens cleaned up nicely. The Weevils still had haystack hair and Rollie still looked embarrassed to be with his other family members. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/117 "2005-12-14T15:59:48Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > I can picture Rolly thinking “As soon as I’m 18, I am _totally_ out of here.” Really, the Team Dad Is Dead kids are basically OK, it’s only Linda who’s around the bend. I think only Rolly is salvageable. Rachel and Rebecca are already too far gone to even be worth trying to save. I mean, did you _see_ their “shorts”? ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/118 "2005-12-14T16:15:50Z")
> [@Ms Macphisto](#): > > Did no one notice that when they got the fly to Montreal clue, one of the Weaver girls said something about needing warmer clothes than her cutoffs to go to Canada? Yes, I know, frozen north and all that, but it was the middle of freakin’ summer, and Montreal’s hot and _humid_ in summer. Not only that, but at the moment they made that comment, they were in fact slightly north of Montreal in latitude. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/119 "2005-12-14T16:24:24Z")
Rolly has some of the Weaver looniness himself, though, as evidenced by his asking the Montreal cab driver for “_el fasto_”. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434/120 "2005-12-14T16:34:09Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Rolly has some of the Weaver looniness himself, though, as evidenced by his asking the Montreal cab driver for “_el fasto_”. I don’t doubt that he’s caught a bit of Mama’s crazyitis, but “el fasto” is just Racespeak. That one I wrote off as Rolly pulling a Mirna. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-race-family-12-13-finale/335434.md?page=7)