# Amazing signs on stores **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273 "2001-05-03T23:36:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/1 "2001-05-03T23:36:10Z")
Some years ago I was in San Francisco and I saw, at Market and Gough, a sporting-goods store with a sign on the front, showing two men and a woman paddling a suitable boat downstream in the rapids (a caption read “WHITE-WATER SPECIALISTS”). All three figures had torn clothing, presumably from the exertion, the wind, the motion, and the wild water; from the way the woman (in the middle) looked, by the time the trip was over she would have been naked! Post here a description of a sign you have seen that was really funny, or shocking, or just plain weird… ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2001, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/2 "2001-05-03T23:48:58Z")
There is a store not too far from where I live that is one of those dual stores, you know, they offer two different services. The services? “Guns R Us / Postal Plus” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![kmudd20001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce73a5/32.png) [@kmudd20001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kmudd20001)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/3 "2001-05-03T23:55:21Z")
Tattoo Charlie’s here where I live has a sign that says "Tattoo’s while you wait. ---
**Author:** ![heembo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f6c823/32.png) [@heembo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heembo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/4 "2001-05-04T00:08:42Z")
Saw a picture of a liquor store in Ball, Indiana. You guessed it - it was called “Ball Liquors” Man that’s funny. Made me think of some other possible store names in that town: [ul] [li]Ball Sacks[/li][li]Ball Wreckers[/li][li]Ball Inspectors[/li][li]Ball Rubber[/li][li]Ball Massages[/li][li]Ball Police/Fire[/li][li]Ball Storage[/li][/ul] and the list goes on… ---
**Author:** ![upperdeckfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/65b543/32.png) [@upperdeckfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/upperdeckfan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/5 "2001-05-04T00:15:03Z")
Not a store sign, but… Every once in while, I see delivery trucks from a rental service company with this written on the side of the trucks: “Rentokil Plants” They really do rent plants. Plastic ones. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/6 "2001-05-04T00:19:12Z")
Down here in L.A., the Santa Monica meat company’s slogan is “Nobody can beat our meat!” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/7 "2001-05-04T00:29:55Z")
My favorite one is in Chicago, on South Pulaski Avenue almost at the intersection with Southwest Highway. There’s a sign for a deli named “Rosaria’s” (or something similar.) It’s a flashing neon animation of pigs gleefully jumping into a manual meat-grinder and coming out as sausage links. Every time I look at it, I find it oddly disturbing. Oh yeah, and here in Budapest, there’s a chain of chicken sandwich places with the logo of an outstretched fist choking a chicken. Weirdness. (And there’s another place here called Al Bundy Shoes. Yes, in Hungary.) ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/8 "2001-05-04T00:51:36Z")
One near me has been on Letterman or Leno, “Taxidermy and Cheese”. It is a taxidermy studio that also sells Wisconsin cheese…eewww. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/9 "2001-05-04T00:54:51Z")
My local shopping centre is Bankstown Square. The nut shop is called “Square Nuts”. I also like “Drop Your Pants Here” at the dry cleaner’s. But my favourite one is done in all seriousness, and is seen everywhere: “THIS DOOR IS ALARMED”. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/10 "2001-05-04T01:14:30Z")
I really miss one store that closed down a few years ago. **B&D Mattress** “I’d like the leather one with the straps and the fourteen symetrically mounted D-rings, please…” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/11 "2001-05-04T01:39:14Z")
A farm-equipment place: PANSIEWOOD IMPLEMENT . . . complete with a picture of a little daisy. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/12 "2001-05-04T02:51:41Z")
On a tiny discount store here in orlando, it reads "EVERYTHING $1 and up". Sure fools me! 🙂 my friend says that in D.C. there is a discount store that says “everything’s a $1”. my friend always calls it “everything’s a one dollar”. and now for something somewhat different… In florida at least we have “T&A Produce” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/13 "2001-05-04T03:04:43Z")
On a tiny discount store here in orlando, it reads "EVERYTHING $1 and up". Sure fools me! 🙂 my friend says that in D.C. there is a discount store that says “everything’s a $1”. my friend always calls it “everything’s a one dollar”. and now for something somewhat different… In florida at least we have “T&A Produce” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/14 "2001-05-04T03:31:06Z")
Here in Vegas there is a truck I see many mornings that is from the “Great Buns Bakery” Their logo is a drawing of a matronly woman in an apron facing away from you but looking over her shoulder… sporting a very plush and accentuated bottom. Also a liquor store I have been known to go to has a hand written sign on the door. “No one under 21 allowed in store! Including children!!” That always makes me laugh ---
**Author:** ![jcgmoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9adbd/32.png) [@jcgmoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jcgmoi)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/15 "2001-05-04T03:35:32Z")
There’s a sign in Bogart, Georgia advertising ‘Rooster Livers for Sale’. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/16 "2001-05-04T03:37:04Z")
OH… almost forgot. There is also a mechanics shop I drive past everyday that has a mural PAINTED on one wall with a yellow background and big black letters proclaiming proudly, _ **"We except all competitor coupons!!"** _ It was there for the LONGEST time… somebody must have told them the error of there ways, and the difference between except and accept, because now the “E” in Except is blotched out in primer grey. That always makes me smile too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MIKE\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MIKE\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MIKE_P)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/17 "2001-05-04T03:58:23Z")
While we were in Poland,I saw a sign for an auto center that said **AUTO FART**. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/18 "2001-05-04T04:10:15Z")
Whammo, I betcha that mural said “We except all competitor coupon’s,” didn’t it? What’s a misspelled sign without that idiot apostrophe? ---
**Author:** ![Earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/90db22/32.png) [@Earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthling)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/19 "2001-05-04T04:35:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mrvisible \* > I really miss one store that closed down a few years ago. > > **B&D Mattress** > > “I’d like the leather one with the straps and the fourteen symetrically mounted D-rings, please…” Maybe they’ve changed their line of business - there’s an **S&M Body Shop** near my house. ---
**Author:** ![LifeWillFall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@LifeWillFall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeWillFall)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/20 "2001-05-04T04:47:01Z")
Along the lines of Ball liquors there is a city in Colorodo called Beaver Creek and yes there is a Beaver liquors there also is a small thai resturant that has the phrase Free deliverly" on the take-out menu [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273.md?page=2)