# Amazing signs on stores **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273 "2001-05-03T23:36:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![heembo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f6c823/32.png) [@heembo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heembo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/21 "2001-05-04T04:48:31Z")
“Take off your pants and jacket” Get it? ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/22 "2001-05-04T04:48:38Z")
**Whammo** , I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![MIKE\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MIKE\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MIKE_P)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/23 "2001-05-04T04:54:33Z")
Mercutio: Its a gramatical(sp?) error. Except means exclude,and accept is the opposite. The owner wanted to state that they would take coupons that are for other body shops,but it ended up saying that they wont take coupons from other body shops. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/24 "2001-05-04T05:05:36Z")
I came back home to fix my car yesterday, and today while in town getting parts, I noticed the local Golden Corral has a sign that says “Free gas with every buffet!” LOL I bet! –Tim ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/25 "2001-05-04T05:37:32Z")
One time when I was in New York, I passed by this tattoo/piercing parlor (might have been in the East Village, can’t remember) that had a sign on an awning: Ears Pierced Your Choice With or Without Pain I took a picture of it; it’s still in one of my photo albums. ---
**Author:** ![Natural-J-Bankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/59ef9b/32.png) [@Natural-J-Bankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Natural-J-Bankie)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/26 "2001-05-04T07:06:52Z")
The best signs ever: [http://www.engrish.com/buildings.html](http://www.engrish.com/buildings.html) My favorite is the one at the top. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/27 "2001-05-04T09:55:44Z")
Not quite a store sign, but on I-94 (IIRC) on the way to Milwaukee there’s a public park called “Bong Recreation Area.” Also, in Romania just outside of Bucharest, I saw a roadsign for a town named “Cunt.” On a vaguely related note, as we were driving into Bulgaria one day, we have an old map and looking for a town with the name “Mihajlovgrad” or something similar. As we’re driving through this town I realize they’ve changed their name in the last ten years. And it was rather bizarre, as an American, to find myself in … Montana, Bulgaria. I kid you not. And, no, as far as I know, “Montana” doesn’t mean anything in Bulgarian. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/28 "2001-05-04T09:59:27Z")
There’s a local barbeque chain whose name escapes me that has a guy chasing a pig with a meat cleaver on their sign. We also have a few ‘Condoms to Go’ stores. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/29 "2001-05-04T13:36:43Z")
This sign is just off the highway on a huge billboard AND painted on the side of the building, in huge black letters on a yellow background (you can’t miss it): BLACK MARKET FIREWORKS ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/30 "2001-05-04T13:44:25Z")
We have a shoe store called “Shoe Town”, which has a large sign with big red illuminated letters. Too bad the bulbs are out on the “S” and “E” in “SHOE”. It’s quite amusing at night. Anybody ever see any trucks for the Bates Casket Company? On the back of each one, it says, “Please drive carefully. We can wait for your business.” ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/31 "2001-05-04T13:45:20Z")
Not a sign, but on the menu of a hole-in-the-wall mexican restaurant in Houston: “Free refills on ice tea - $0.75” ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/32 "2001-05-04T14:12:20Z")
Multiple thoughts … - The sign for the **Canal Place** townhouse complex in Aurora, Colorado was vandalized quite a bit, as was the sign for **The Grasslands** subdivision in Fort Collins. - My old neighborhood in Denver had a business located in an old gas station with the following sign … **USED TIRES** **ROPAS WESTERN** **MUSICA MEXICANA** Yup, one business. There was also another business located in an old gas station with the sign … **EMISSIONS TESTING** **ESPRESSO** Again, one business, two completely unrelated products. Reminds me of **Taxidermy and Cheese** from National Lampoon’s _True Facts_. - Finally, there’s [http://www.cedarnet.org/naglesigns/KGTh.jpg](http://www.cedarnet.org/naglesigns/KGTh.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/33 "2001-05-04T14:31:40Z")
Well…when I was up in Canada last summer I took a picture of a little road side hot dog stand that said: REAL FRENCH FRIES! 100% BEEF! I’m still struggling with it. I also like when amateur sign painters use QUOTES for EMPHASIS rather than say, an underline or a bold…there’s a restaurant that used to be at the corner of Clark and Lawrence in Chicago that had “CHICKEN” Wings. I always wondered what they REALLY were, if the “CHICKEN” was in quotes. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/34 "2001-05-04T14:43:27Z")
A sign for a Chinese restaurant in Ocala, FL: The **Fu King** Restaurant Hmmmm. ## O Vidi Vici Veni! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/35 "2001-05-04T15:02:34Z")
I gave one of my sisters the _True Facts_ book for Christmas '99. Not surprisingly, National Lampoon’s website also has some [true facts](http://www.nationallampoon.com/news/truefacts/defaultpar.asp). ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/36 "2001-05-04T15:37:12Z")
On Montrose and Sheridan in Chicago, Jake’s Broasted Chicken has a sign painted on a window saying, “Only a rooster can get a better piece of chicken than Jake’s”. Took me a minute to get that. As for a stupid sign, the building across from my office has a sign in the lobby inviting people to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with them today (May 4). So underneath, in quotes, the sign maker put, “Cinco de quatro”. What a maroon. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/37 "2001-05-04T15:41:07Z")
We have one locally: POLICE, CLOSE DOOR TO SHUT OFF ALARM. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/38 "2001-05-04T16:00:50Z")
In Madison, Ohio, there is (or was, been awhile since I’ve been there), a BJ Motel. It’s the kind of motel with the little individual cottages … And in my friend’s hometown in West Virginia, there was a small grocery called Christopher Cox and Sons Grocery. You could park in back and go through an alley to get to the front of the building. There was a small sign tacked onto the side of the building with an arrow that said: C. Cox Gro. THIS WAY And my husband has a picture of a cafe in Haifa, Israel called GOOP. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.White](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Mr.White](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.White)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/39 "2001-05-04T16:15:24Z")
On a country store in Tennessee: [b[Hot Dogs Gas Nightcrawlers\*\* ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273/40 "2001-05-04T16:21:19Z")
Not a sign, just a strange business name: there’s a new Mexican restaurant around here called the Transylvania Cafe. Nobody can figure out the connection. On the sign for a jewelry store: “Beat the heat! Tennis bracelets $99” ?!?!?!? Gun shop: “RED WHITE & BLUE GUNS - MACE - PISTOLS - RIFLES - HOMEMADE FUDGE” “SHOE PALACE” in red neon lettering with the S and E broken… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazing-signs-on-stores/64273.md?page=3)