# Amazingly stupid things overheard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 28, 2011, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599 "2011-12-28T04:33:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/321 "2012-01-10T12:54:36Z")
I have a cute story that will fit here, I think. As the office manager, it was my job to work with all new hires to get all the paperwork completed correctly and then get them entered into our payroll system. I was working with a nice young man from Ok or Tx, I can’t recall which, but he had a very deep southern accent. At any rate, he was having trouble with the W-4 form and I was having trouble getting him to understand. At one point I asked him if he wanted to claim his wife and his response was that he wasn’t ashamed of her, or nothing like that. It was all I could do to not to laugh, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Poor thing, he didn’t last very long with us. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/322 "2012-01-10T16:54:15Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Well hey. What states have the Universities of South Florida, North Texas, Western Michigan, Central Oklahoma, etc.? > > Sure, West Virginia seceded from Virginia in 1863. But what’s that got to do with football? Yeah. But who here knows which state East Carolina University is from? And no, I’m not whooshing anybody; there really is such a school [East Carolina University - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Carolina) ---
**Author:** ![La\_Beldame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@La\_Beldame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/La_Beldame)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/323 "2012-01-10T18:16:14Z")
A disheartening number of tourists to Washington, DC, are disappointed that there is no shopping at the [National Mall](http://www.nps.gov/nacc/index.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/324 "2012-01-10T18:57:35Z")
I was working in Detroit during the Calgary Olympics. One day, I mentioned I was going home to Toronto for the weekend, and someone asked me, “Are you going to take in the Olympics while you’re there?” I had to explain to them that getting to Calgary from Toronto would be either a three-day drive or a four-hour flight, because Calgary is north of Idaho. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/325 "2012-01-10T19:52:57Z")
My husband was stationed in Hawai’i when his grandmother died, and his mother started the process for emergency leave with the Red Cross. She spent at least 20 minutes in the following conversation: Red Cross idiot: I need his APO address. Mom: He’s in Hawai’i, he doesn’t have an APO address. Red Cross: All overseas duty stations have an APO address; I need that address. Mom: He’s stationed in the STATE of Hawai’i, it’s not an overseas assignment. Red Cross: Do you need to call him for his APO address and get back to me? ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/326 "2012-01-11T16:58:12Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Yeah. But who here knows which state East Carolina University is from? And no, I’m not whooshing anybody; there really is such a school [East Carolina University - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Carolina) I know!! I know!!! It’s in the eastern part of (North) Carolina. It could be worse. Westerville, Ohio is a suburb northeast of Columbus. Westerville **South** High School is on the west side of town. Westerville **North** HS is on the eastern edge of town, and Westerville \*\*Central \*\*HS is farther north that the other two. (It is between the other two longitudinally at least). That’s why it’s bad to name places based on geographical locations. ---
**Author:** ![pati12812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@pati12812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pati12812)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/327 "2012-01-12T13:16:08Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Oh, please do, then they can make fun of your spelling. Laughing… ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/328 "2012-01-12T21:29:52Z")
> [@La\_Beldame](#): > > A disheartening number of tourists to Washington, DC, are disappointed that there is no shopping at the [National Mall](http://www.nps.gov/nacc/index.htm). Before someone comes in and says “no way,” I’m here to say “way.” When I was in HS in northern Virginia, I took a girl ice skating on the Mall in DC and she was surprised it was outside and not a shopping center. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2012, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/329 "2012-01-12T22:31:01Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Missouri has Washington University, while Pittsburg State (no H) is in Kansas. And there’s the Indiana University of Pennsylvania, located (of course) in [Indiana, Pennsylvania](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana,_Pennsylvania). (I recently slightly embarrassed myself when talking to someone from “Indiana University”, because I had stuck in my mind this one, when in fact she came from the Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. :smack: My only excuse is that I’ve visited Indiana, Pennsylvania, but haven’t been to Bloomington, Indiana, even though I’ve been to about 90% of the other county seats in Indiana.) ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/330 "2012-01-13T13:52:17Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > And there’s the Indiana University of Pennsylvania, located (of course) in [Indiana, Pennsylvania](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana,_Pennsylvania). > > (I recently slightly embarrassed myself when talking to someone from “Indiana University”, because I had stuck in my mind this one, when in fact she came from the Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. :smack: My only excuse is that I’ve visited Indiana, Pennsylvania, but haven’t been to Bloomington, Indiana, even though I’ve been to about 90% of the other county seats in Indiana.) OK - I guess I’ll forgive you guys for even considering the possibility that the University of Alberta might be in British Columbia; I didn’t realize your university (and town) naming habits were THAT weird. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/331 "2012-01-13T14:31:13Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > And there’s the Indiana University of Pennsylvania, located (of course) in [Indiana, Pennsylvania](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana,_Pennsylvania). This seems like a good time to mention [Miami University](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami_University), located in Miami…Ohio. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/332 "2012-01-13T14:34:37Z")
> [@Cayuga](#): > > Autumn in Detroit. A woman checking into a hotel gives her home address as somewhere in Massachusetts. One of the two desk clerks says she’d grown up in New Hampshire, but she’d moved to Detroit several years earlier. > > Hotel Guest: Do you like it here? > > Desk Clerk #1: Oh yes. But sometimes I miss New England. Especially at this time of year. > > Desk Clerk #2: What’s so special about this time of year? > > Desk Clerk #1: It’s when all the leaves turn colors. > > Desk Clerk #2: (dubiously) What, like blue? In Detroit? Leaves don’t turn colors in Ohio? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/333 "2012-01-13T14:35:46Z")
Detroit is in Ohio??? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/334 "2012-01-13T14:36:49Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > In Detroit? Leaves don’t turn colors in Ohio? Detroit is in Ohio? ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/335 "2012-01-13T14:38:34Z")
> [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > This seems like a good time to mention [Miami University](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami_University), located in Miami…Ohio. No. Miami University is located in _Oxford_, Ohio. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/336 "2012-01-13T14:55:19Z")
Let me tell you about the most ignorant person I’ve ever met in my life. A rotund middle-aged lady who claimed she was from Newfoundland, though she didn’t seem to know the first thing about the place. That said, she didn’t seem to know the first thing about anything, so maybe not a surprise. She sat next to me and my ex on a flight from Auckland, NZ to the Cook Islands, which are in the South Pacific. She’d overheard that we were flying on to LA, and was outraged. “They’re making _me_ go back to New Zealand to go to China!” she spluttered. In what I hoped were patient tones, I explained that we were currently heading to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and China was thousands of kilometres back west the other way; Auckland was the nearest major airport on the way back. “You don’t understand,” she whined, “I came all the way _down_ to New Zealand from Canada, and now I’ve got to go back _down_ to get back _up_ again! It’s ridiculous!” She rolled her eyes at the injustice of it all: “But, oh no, _you_ get to go on to LA.” Eventually it transpired that she could only think in terms of latitude, and was entirely unaware of the huge distances involved in longitude, and in particular the vast width of the Pacific Ocean. I eventually got her to shut up by saying “China’s still quite a poor country and the people there can’t afford to go on South Pacific island holidays, so there aren’t any direct flights.” We bumped into her a couple of days later and she was bitching that the place was so primitive, because her Canadian wireless internet connection wouldn’t work. I’ll say that again: her wireless connection. As in the one that hooked her laptop up to her home wifi. The Cook Islands are lovely, laid-back Polynesian islands, and as such they work on ‘island time’: be patient, keep smiling and cool, things will happen eventually. Bumped into her again in a gorgeous little restaurant on the beach. She was screaming at the waiter: “HEY YOU! HEY YOU!” and beckoning at him with a bent finger. He came over eventually. “Where can I find a beach where I can rent a chair?!” We started trying to avoid her after that. The last time we failed to avoid her she said she was suffering from culture shock. Now, though Polynesian, the Cooks are pretty heavily New Zealand influenced - good infrastructure, western products, etc. Exotic but homey, kind of like what I imagine the smaller Hawaiian islands must be like. “I’m so freaked out here,” she said. “I can’t wait to get to China where it’ll be normal.” “Oh wow no, you’re _really_ going to get culture shock in China,” we replied. “Nonsense! It’ll be just like being back at home,” she resolved. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she got there… ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/337 "2012-01-13T14:56:53Z")
> [@chizzuk](#): > > This one might make sense only to Dopers from the DC area, but I had a woman pull up next to me at the light where the Outer Loop of the Beltway exits onto Georgia Avenue heading into downtown Silver Spring. She rolled down her window and asked for directions to Alexandria. > > Um, you’re in the wrong state? You’re nowhere close? Get back on the Beltway and go another 20 miles? I had absolutely no idea what to say, especially given that we were at a stop light that turned green 10 seconds later. It might be slightly understandable if it was an out-of-state driver but she was in an SUV with Maryland plates. How do you even leave your house to go somewhere if you’re that clueless about where it is? Having lived in both places (Silver Spring and Alexandria) I just ruined my keyboard. THANKS! heh heh heh 😃 ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/338 "2012-01-13T15:06:24Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > No. Miami University is located in _Oxford_, Ohio. :smack: I knew that. I was IN Oxford last month. Time for more caffeine… ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/339 "2012-01-13T15:43:37Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Topeka is in Arkansas, innit? No no–you are thinking of Artopeka. (Wonder if there really are two cities in those states named like that. if I lived in Arkansas I would totally run for mayor just to re-name my town so there is one.) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599/340 "2012-01-13T15:55:02Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > Detroit is in Ohio? Sorry, my mistake. Ohio is in New Jersey. But what state is New England in? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amazingly-stupid-things-overheard/607599.md?page=18)