Well, one of my books received a one-star review on Amazon that read, in its entirety “Didn’t read it.” :rolleyes:
My lowest review–a two star–begins with “I didn’t finish it.” And then complains about a lot of things that didn’t happen in the book.
The first two reviews on my first (traditional pub, not self-published) book were my brother and my stepfather. 
I’ve had several hundred since that were a healthy mix of legitimate criticism, bat shit crazy, and Actual Good Reviews.
Chris Roberts has not reviewed any of my books, for which I am [del]thankful [/del] do not give a shit.
Claverhouse, we ask that people not post long excerpts of material written by others. That includes troll reviews on Amazon.
I have removed excess material from your quotes.
twickster, Cafe Society moderator