# America, Fuck You **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 9, 2002, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004 "2002-07-09T02:12:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![todd33rpm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@todd33rpm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/todd33rpm)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/41 "2002-07-09T08:07:25Z")
My favorite line about “A Horse With No Name” is courtesy of Randy Newman. He says the song’s about this kid who _thinks_ he’s taken acid… ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/42 "2002-07-09T14:27:59Z")
And let’s not forget the travesty that is “Ventura Highway”. I’m not posting any lyrics, cause there’s a danger I might get that particular ear worm, and that’d be bad bad bad. ---
**Author:** ![Thunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@Thunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thunder)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/43 "2002-07-09T14:32:39Z")
I would like to remark that **Mr. Bix** is in the running for _Whoosh o’ the Week_. That was the redeeming part of this thread… ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/44 "2002-07-09T14:33:06Z")
You don’t actually know hatred of those two songs until you’ve had to play them twice a night four nights a week. It’s just not what a guitar was meant to do. Thanks for reminding me. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/45 "2002-07-09T14:54:57Z")
**I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name It felt good to be out of the rain In the desert, you can remember your name 'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain** OK, I have a number of problems with this. • How the hell do you _raise_ a horse with no name? How do you call it when it’s time to eat? What if you get off the horse to take a pee behind a cactus and the horse gets away? _How are you going to call it back_, Sonny Jim? Huh? • Yeah, it feels good to get out of the rain. Till you’ve spent a few days in the blazing 150º heat. _Then_ you’ll miss the rain. • So, when you’re _not_ in the desert you tend to forget your name? I’d get to a doctor about this. • No one for to give you no pain? Do cactii, lizards, snakes, and grizzled old var-mints guarding their gold mines mean _nothing_ to you?! ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/46 "2002-07-09T15:37:17Z")
Thank you, thank you, thank you for making my day just a little bit better. Did you all know that, thanks to America, we also have “Muskrat Love”? You can blame Captain and Tenille, bless their hearts, all you want, but America is responsible for that, the worst song ever! But “Horse with no Name” does run a close second, followed by “Ventura Highway”. I do like “Sister Goldenhair” though. Even though I’m of an age, I had no idea that was America. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/47 "2002-07-09T15:45:20Z")
Ventura highway, in the suuuuunshiiiine… Where the days are longer, the nights are stronger than moooonshiiiine. Your gonna go, I knoooooooooow. (Love those alligator lizards in the air!) Doo doo doo doo… - We used to laugh, we used to cry. We used to bow our heads then, wonder why. I need you… ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/48 "2002-07-09T16:13:24Z")
Back in 1995, Howard Stern did one of his “funerals” in Cleveland, when his show on WNCX beat rivals WMMS and WMJI in the ratings. He held it in front of Tiffany’s, a strip club down in the Flats, and a friend and I went. He had America there as “special guests,” and they performed a tribute to Howard’s producer, Gary, called “A Boy With Horse Teeth.” It was a great tribute to their ability to not take themselves seriously. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/49 "2002-07-09T16:20:45Z")
> [@](#): > > How are you going to call it back, Sonny Jim? Damn, and my sig all full up. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/50 "2002-07-09T16:22:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > **Per bad song guru Dave Barry, the _worst_ lyric in popular song history is by Neal Diamond: > "I am, I said > To no-one there! > And no-one heard at all > Not even the chair."** I think Dave ripped that one off Lea Delaria. ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/51 "2002-07-09T23:40:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 5 time champ \* > \*\ ***JoJo** some of us were sick of that song 30 years ago. \*\* Preach it! First thing I thought of when I saw where this was heading! Anything played 300 trillion times a day kind of got under one’s skin. _Especially_ a song as inane as that one. Can you believe it was a major, major hit? Retch. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/52 "2002-07-09T23:46:35Z")
Waiting patiently for the following pit threads to crop up:[ul][_]Bite the big one, Asia[_]You Suck! Europe[_]Kiss my Ass, Kansas[_]Drink Piss, Paris[_]Fickst Du, Berlin[_]Blow Me! Chicago[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/53 "2002-07-10T00:02:01Z")
Heads **(America)**: "I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name It felt good to be out of the rain In the desert, they can remember your name 'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain Laa laaa la la la la " Versus Tails **(The Byrds)**: "Oh, I’d catch a glimpse of her every once in a while…Takin’ her meal, or bathin. A fine lady… Well I got her, and I’m pullin’ on her…I take this chance and I jump up on her…Me holding on… And when I do I’ll give her my brand And we’ll be friends for life She’ll be just like a **wife** I’m gonna’ catch that horse if I can" Flips coin… Tails, hands down. Bestiality always rates higher on the annoyance chart. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/54 "2002-07-10T00:14:25Z")
John, you missed a few: [ul][_]Chilliwack, Up Yours![_]Alabama, Get Bent.[_]Boston, Piss Off![_]Lick My Love Pump, Dresden.[_]Go To Hell, Nazareth![_]Sod Off, Dubliners![/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Jojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecd19e/32.png) [@Jojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jojo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/55 "2002-07-10T01:48:33Z")
ok I must admit to a certain mischievous glint in my eye when I posted that thread title. When that op first occurred to me I decided I must not post it _on any account_ no matter how funny I personally thought it was. But it was like I was possessed by an evil demon. The idea took hold and gnawed away at me until I had no control over it. As I typed it I had no control over my fingers. I apologise for any offence I may have caused. On the plus side, it seems I may have started a trend. I like **JohnBckWLD** and **Larry Mudd** ’s ideas above. hmm…Drink my Shit, Boston ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/56 "2002-07-10T02:05:47Z")
Jesus! Three separate posters, and _none_ of you got it right! To wit: “Laaa, laaaa, la la la la **la** ” Cannot nobody count around here??? ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/57 "2002-07-10T03:02:38Z")
Imagine me and you, I do I think about you day and night, it’s only right To think about the girl you love and hold her tight So happy together [snip] So happy together **How is the weather** So happy together We’re happy together So happy together Happy together So happy together So happy together What a way to wreck a great song. **How is the weather??** What the fuck are you talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/58 "2002-07-10T03:09:48Z")
Ventura Highway also gave us this: Sorry boy, but I’ve been hit by purple rain. Aw, come on, Joe, you can always change your name. Thanks a lot, son, just the same. How fuckingly insipid. If it wasn’t for Steve Miller’s lyrics, America would easily capture the Worst Words Ever Written trophy. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/59 "2002-07-10T04:17:02Z")
Since we’re going all over the place, I nominate MacArthur Park. _Someone left the cake out in the rain… I don’t think I can take it, because it took so long to bake it… and I’ll never have that recipe again… Oh noo… Oh nooo… Oh noooOOOooooO!_ You know, I don’t think they baked that one _quite long enough_. > [@](#): > > **KarlGauss** : What a way to wreck a great song. _Happy Together_ is a great song? Why do I have a sudden urge to bang iron spikes into my ears with a brick when can’t avoid exposure to it, then? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004/60 "2002-07-10T05:17:28Z")
[I wonder if this gag will work twice](http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/1690/midi/a_horse.mid). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/america-fuck-you/118004.md?page=4)