# American Idol 1/17 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 17, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339 "2006-01-17T14:03:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/61 "2006-01-18T02:17:49Z")
Oh … “Idol” smackdown! Awesome! And what was the Song of the Bleeps, anyway? Should I know it? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/62 "2006-01-18T02:19:32Z")
It’s kind of hard to trash talk someone when they have a yellow page and you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/63 "2006-01-18T02:21:09Z")
> [@rockle](#): > > Oh … “Idol” smackdown! Awesome! And what was the Song of the Bleeps, anyway? Should I know it? I think it was the follow up to the “Constance Frye on the wall” song that the Chicago-shirt-wearin’ dude was singing. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/64 "2006-01-18T02:22:50Z")
Did she say something about a big, black penis and a big black anus? brown dick and brown ass? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/65 "2006-01-18T02:24:59Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Did she say something about a big, black penis and a big black anus? > > brown dick and brown ass? Which she obviously made up. Because she’s insane. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/66 "2006-01-18T02:26:34Z")
This one is like Ashlee Simpson squared. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/67 "2006-01-18T02:27:07Z")
What’s up with Simon? She looks older than 16… poor skin! ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/68 "2006-01-18T02:27:39Z")
Amazingly, I don’t want to kill any of the judges so far! I even have a grudging respect growing for Paula Abdul’s comments with the croooner guy. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/69 "2006-01-18T02:27:40Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Which she obviously made up. Because she’s insane. It’s a shame, really. I can totally picture her, five years from now, having a crazy Fiona-Apple-cum-Whitney-Houston-style meltdown on some awards show. “This whole world is _bullshit!_ Kiss my _ass!_” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/70 "2006-01-18T02:28:33Z")
The holding the hand to the imaginary earphone thing has to be one of the most ludicrous affects possible. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/71 "2006-01-18T02:29:56Z")
She was growling at the judges like they stole her Ban De Soleil. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/72 "2006-01-18T02:31:13Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > She was growling at the judges like they stole her Ban De Soleil. Did you _see_ her? She thinks “Ban de Soleil” is some kind of pastry or something. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/73 "2006-01-18T02:33:41Z")
OK, what was the point of bringing Lil’ Paris Hilton’s mom in? (And who knew Chita Rivera had a kid that age? Must be one of those menopause reversals.) ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/74 "2006-01-18T02:36:13Z")
Nooooooo… Poor raphsody! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/75 "2006-01-18T02:36:46Z")
I hear Ukraine’s lovely this time of year. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/76 "2006-01-18T02:37:56Z")
Or, for obscure Broadway fans, looks like “A DAY TRYING FOR HOLLYWOOD, A LIFETIME IN THE UKRAINE”. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/77 "2006-01-18T02:38:03Z")
I haven’t been this embarrassed for someone else since my friend Dawn farted during a history test in seventh grade. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/78 "2006-01-18T02:38:19Z")
Freddie’s going to find her and kick her skinny Ukranian _ass!_ ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/79 "2006-01-18T02:39:28Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Or, for obscure Broadway fans, looks like “A DAY TRYING FOR HOLLYWOOD, A LIFETIME IN THE UKRAINE”. Snerk! Simon can be Groucho! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/80 "2006-01-18T02:40:20Z")
Did it look like that Ukrainian girl was doing her pole routine? Only she usually doesn’t have to provide her own music. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339.md?page=5)