# American Idol 1/17 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 17, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339 "2006-01-17T14:03:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/81 "2006-01-18T02:40:30Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > I haven’t been this embarrassed for someone else since my friend Dawn farted during a history test in seventh grade. Unfortunately, the Ukraine chick’s fart was heard around the world. (My father’s record was only three counties.) ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/82 "2006-01-18T02:41:07Z")
I love that Luther Vandross song. I know, I know it’s a Carpenter’s song. But Luther’s version is my favorite. Those twins better not screw it up. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/83 "2006-01-18T02:45:35Z")
Oh! They’re so _cute!_ I love twins! ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/84 "2006-01-18T02:46:41Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I love that Luther Vandross song. I know, I know it’s a Carpenter’s song. But Luther’s version is my favorite. Those twins better not screw it up. Too much trilling. Oh wait, they’re 16? Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/85 "2006-01-18T02:49:21Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I love that Luther Vandross song. I know, I know it’s a Carpenter’s song. But Luther’s version is my favorite. Those twins better not screw it up. Hmm. I had no idea Luther or the Carpenters wrote Syrian pop songs. Re: Twins: to paraphrase Randal from APPRENTICE, it’s called _American Idol_, not _American Apprentii_… _Idolae_… _Idols…_- whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/86 "2006-01-18T02:52:12Z")
They did that just to cheese off Simon. There’s no other explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/87 "2006-01-18T02:52:21Z")
The hell? Randy and Paula, be thou trippin’? If Simon had whipped out a Beretta .32 and fired two slugs into Dave’s abdomen on nationwide TV I honestly don’t think anybody in the country would admit to having seen a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/88 "2006-01-18T02:54:38Z")
I’m betting Randy and Paul got together sometime before the auditions and said, “Let’s really fuck with Cowell…” ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/89 "2006-01-18T02:56:18Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I’m betting Randy and Paul got together sometime before the auditions and said, “Let’s really fuck with Cowell…” Well he was being a right prick for a while. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/90 "2006-01-18T02:58:20Z")
Crazy Dave? They probably wanted to give Simon a payback for his bitching… ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/91 "2006-01-18T03:00:06Z")
Well … wait. Why did they bring Crazy Tan Girl back, in a different outfit? Once was not bad enough? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/92 "2006-01-18T03:02:10Z")
I think they brought back Tanorexia girl so that you could see it was all an act. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/93 "2006-01-18T03:03:37Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I think they brought back Tanorexia girl so that you could see it was all an act. I think I just found my drag name. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sgt.Pepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sgt.Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sgt.Pepper)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/94 "2006-01-18T03:04:34Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > OK, what was the point of bringing Lil’ Paris Hilton’s mom in? (And who knew Chita Rivera had a kid that age? Must be one of those menopause reversals.) Was it “Lil’ Paris” that appeared in that last bit, where they grouped a bunch singing that one song together? I could swear the chick from that bit looked looked like the buzzed out Lil’ Paris. Good show tonight. I was killing myself with the “I Shot the Sherrif” guy. He just wouldn’t quit. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/95 "2006-01-18T03:04:44Z")
> [@rockle](#): > > Well … wait. Why did they bring Crazy Tan Girl back, in a different outfit? Once was not bad enough? I think they must have some of the best and the worst sing on the stage, but probably not with the judges present. Or they might have them sing to the under-judges and record the worst ones… before they go to P, R, & S. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/96 "2006-01-18T03:06:40Z")
Terribly disappointing, particularly given all the hype. The good weren’t very good, and the bad were all bad the exact same way: off-key. They made us watch the pathetic barefoot weirdo Dr. Doolittle, and they put through a whole slew of people we didn’t even get to hear. Sigh. I sure hope Denver is better than Chicago. Still waiting to hear the Letter guy. So far, my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Sgt.Pepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sgt.Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sgt.Pepper)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/97 "2006-01-18T03:07:48Z")
Giant Simlu-post. It was the same girl then. ---
**Author:** ![Lama\_Pacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Lama\_Pacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lama_Pacos)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/98 "2006-01-18T03:08:11Z")
I really liked the Assyrian guy! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/99 "2006-01-18T03:08:49Z")
I thought the Syrian singer was good… if he had sung only in other language (or with a better outfit). ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339/100 "2006-01-18T03:12:43Z")
> [@KarlGrenze](#): > > I thought the Syrian singer was good… if he had sung only in other language (or with a better outfit). I think if he hadn’t worn the outfit (wayyyy too gimmicky) they might have asked him to sing something in English (or at least Spanish). OTOH, I think he’ll kick ass with a hard k when he auditions for _Assyrian Idol_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-17/340339.md?page=6)