# American Idol 1/24 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 24, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390 "2006-01-24T14:09:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/141 "2006-01-25T11:14:37Z")
Totally agree on the poster board and probably the tux, too. I liked his voice, I dig standards, but I’m sorta quietly relieved we won’t have to see those eyebrows week after week. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/142 "2006-01-25T12:46:17Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Kelly’s a doll and has talent, but the backstory is so _Lifetime for Women_- her life of disadvantage is almost an unfair advantage since it’s sure to influence the fan votes. (Am I the only one who when she was talking about being abandoned and the dad in jail, etc., kept expecting her to add “I"m hypoglycemic, I’ve got one leg, I’m flatulent… let’s get this party started…”.) I agree. The more I think about it (which I don’t want to do, seriously), the more I agree with **KSO** back in post [#36](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7031729&postcount=36). There is something disturbingly Carmen-esque about her, and although I think she has an OK voice, I can already foresee the twang driving me (even more) totally monkeyshit insane. I’ll be the first to admit that I was anything but Carrie’s biggest fan, but I also have to say – as bland as she was, at least she didn’t “hick” me out of my mind. If that makes any sense (which it probably doesn’t). > [@](#): > > _The cracks on Seacrest’s height (or lack of) were really crass. I think Seacrest is somewhere between Carson Daly and Paris Hilton on the “why are they famous?” scale, but that’s just damned rude. That said, Seacrest has always been sort of smarmy-sleazy cute, but does anybody else think the cute is wearing off and he’s really aging? (Could be a coke head or could be from working 8 gigs at a time or from some combo thereof.)_ Much as Seacrest isn’t my cup of tea, that man seriously works his butt off. He still does his regular radio show, plus “Idol,” plus he’s now doing a bunch of stuff for E! Add in all the additional promotional stuff he has to do, and he’s running ragged, I think. The people at these auditions are I think more delusional than they’ve been before, and he has to interact with them, so I give him some benefit of the doubt. I never really thought he was particularly cute – and I don’t like his highlights at all, and think his stylist and hairdresser should be shot without trial – but I do appreciate that he is not all gross and overly Botoxed. In short, he’s growing older on camera. Not a lot of people let that happen. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/143 "2006-01-25T14:17:56Z")
I, personally, love the audition part of the show. It’s good for people like me-- mean. Me and the kids snark as if the snark sale is gonna end any minute (I say me and my kids but they’re both 18 now. Not so much kids, I guess.) Then again, we snark at the news too. My daughter, who’s away at college now, tells me she has to watch her mouth when the news comes on in her dorm so that her mates don’t think she’s an evil bitch. In other ME news: I think I have Flavor Flav disease. I can never remember anyone’s name so I just make them up. Can you guys help me? Here are the few I remember-- can you give me their names? Squeaky (Paris, right?), Bullethead, The Singing Fireman, Baby Cowboy, Forster Care, Country Boobs, The two sets of twins-- Incarcerated and Unincarcerated, I Work With Children, Scott Ian-- I think that’s it. Young Zack gets a by because, well, his name is Zackery. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/144 "2006-01-25T14:24:33Z")
Country Boobs! Whatever her real name is, I like this better. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/145 "2006-01-25T14:24:38Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I, personally, love the audition part of the show. It’s good for people like me-- mean. Me and the kids snark as if the snark sale is gonna end any minute (I say me and my kids but they’re both 18 now. Not so much kids, I guess.) Then again, we snark at the news too. My daughter, who’s away at college now, tells me she has to watch her mouth when the news comes on in her dorm so that her mates don’t think she’s an evil bitch. Heh. You’re most funnest mom ever! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/146 "2006-01-25T14:53:48Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I’m embarrassed for all black hookers across America. Hopefully she has blown her chance to get invited back at the finale, and pink hat girl will get to come back. Maybe I’m reading it totally wrong, but was Simon trying to be sweet when he said it sounded too much like the original? Unless he was totally deadpan (and he usually doesn’t bother to hide his disgust) he was being very nice. I teared up when country blonde fell on the floor crying (I like her grandpa) and I thought it was a class act that the granddaughter didn’t take it for granted that she would make it. She so outshone anyone else she’s got to be a shoo-in. So they must ask the losers to sing again afterwards in order to put the montages together?? ---
**Author:** ![Walter\_Windchill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Walter\_Windchill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walter_Windchill)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/147 "2006-01-25T15:02:45Z")
I think they must have screening auditions, and have everyone do the same song then (perhaps in addition to their real song), before sending them on to the judges. I can’t imagine they’d pull them aside on their way out, and none of them in the montage sequences look like they’ve just been crushed. ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/148 "2006-01-25T15:11:15Z")
> [@SmackFu](#): > > What was that second song that Paris did, that she said was by Billie Holiday? I thought she said it was “Take Five”, and it sounded like “Take Five”, but I can’t find anything relating Billie Holiday to that song. So, for the record, it was “Take Five” but Billie Holiday died before the song was written so it wasn’t her, despite what Paris said. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/149 "2006-01-25T15:14:00Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Did it seem to anybody else that Paula _did NOT_ want to dance with the Anachronistic Mo-Town Bullethead guy? I think it majorly embarassed her but she played along with it. I got the impression that she wanted to act like she didn’t want to dance with him, but that she \*really \* wanted to dance with him. Close. Hard. Now. Do it. Go away cameras and lights… That sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Walter\_Windchill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Walter\_Windchill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walter_Windchill)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/150 "2006-01-25T15:19:23Z")
She said “I love Billie Holiday and I’d love to do Take 5 for you guys.” So she didn’t exactly say “I’m going to do a Billie Holiday song,” but might have meant, “I’m going to do something in that vein, so why not some Carmen McRae?” This blog has a link to her audition. I watched it again, and yeah, I’m definitely rooting for her. [http://www.rickey.org/blog/](http://www.rickey.org/blog/) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/151 "2006-01-25T15:21:43Z")
I couldn’t stand Bullethead. He was way too full of himself. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/152 "2006-01-25T15:27:03Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > The red magic carpet guy was amusing, at least. Was I the only one who was saying, “Now there’s a guy whose friends dared him to audition.” I mean, he seemed fun and cool, and not nearly delusional enough to do that on his own. You know, the kind of guy who has a lot of friends and is always doing crazy stuff like that, and they always tell him, “OMG, that is so hilarious! You should go on an American Idol audition. I bet you a hundred bucks you’d get on TV!” Paris was hands down the most amazing singer I’ve ever heard on this show. Plus, as everyone else has noted, she was sweet. That said, I don’t think the girl needs American Idol. She has connections, who I’m sure could get her an audition with a record company. I just don’t want American Idol to spoil her with their “vocal coaching” and such. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/153 "2006-01-25T15:28:27Z")
> [@Walter Windchill](#): > > I think they must have screening auditions, and have everyone do the same song then (perhaps in addition to their real song), before sending them on to the judges. I can’t imagine they’d pull them aside on their way out, and none of them in the montage sequences look like they’ve just been crushed. This must be it because they included some of the good singers in the Fame montage. Also in a previous montage Tan in a Bottle girl had different outfits. Speaking of which, the comments here make watching this show worthwhile. Kudo’s to Suzie Derkins “Tan in a Bottle” song, that was hilarious and Sara’s “Spice Rack” comment - I almost snorted my coffee. In light of the whole Paula scandal last season I think Randy and Simon showed very bad judgement and poor taste in dragging Paula up to dance with that guy. She was obviously uncomfortable about it but tried to go along. Simon needs to drop the comments about picturing guys wearing dresses because that’s just going to fuel the “he’s a homophobe” fire. I don’t think Simon or Randy are homophobes, they just aren’t witty enough to come up with original, funny and less hurtful comments about some of these performances. Maybe they need to hire some comedians and have them hand Simon and Randy some good one-liners through an ear piece. Did anyone else think that the firefighter guy had plucked his eyebrows and was wearing makeup? Or maybe he just got too close to a fire and it singed off his brows and most of his hairline. Re: Rhonetta aka Spice Rack. I really hate when they give so much time to someone so obnoxious. If this woman (and I use the term loosely) isn’t completely delusional and possibly a danger to society or at least Paula Abdul, then she was playing them in order to get a bunch of air time and what she may want to be is an actress. In either case I don’t think it’s a good idea to give her the attention she got. What was her problem with Paula anyway? Did I miss Paula making some nasty comment? I thought Paula was extremely nice to her considering the way that chick acted. Did anyone notice when Spice Rack did the high kick and they had to put an American Idol symbol over her crotchal area? Do you think she just exposed her nasty underwear or do you think she actually flashed her coochie? _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Walter\_Windchill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Walter\_Windchill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walter_Windchill)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/154 "2006-01-25T15:45:09Z")
I had the same thought about “Alladin.” I’m sure he was doing the whole thing as a lark, even though he seemed a bit hurt when he got rejected. I also had the same amused/horrified reaction to the AI symbol over Rhonetta’s crotch shot. That’s one girl where I don’t wanna know what she’s got down there. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/155 "2006-01-25T15:45:26Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Did anyone notice when Spice Rack did the high kick and they had to put an American Idol symbol over her crotchal area? Do you think she just exposed her nasty underwear or do you think she actually flashed her coochie? _shudder_ My money’s on “nasty underwear with bits of hanging-out coochie”. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Walter\_Windchill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Walter\_Windchill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walter_Windchill)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/156 "2006-01-25T15:47:18Z")
I didn’t like the Marine either, and agree that Paula was skeeved by him. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/157 "2006-01-25T16:00:03Z")
> [@Dung Beetle](#): > > My money’s on “nasty underwear with bits of hanging-out coochie”. Ugh. I just threw up a little in my mouth. Gah! Who’s got the brain bleach? ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/158 "2006-01-25T16:14:40Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > Was I the only one who was saying, “Now there’s a guy whose friends dared him to audition.” I mean, he seemed fun and cool, and not nearly delusional enough to do that on his own. You know, the kind of guy who has a lot of friends and is always doing crazy stuff like that, and they always tell him, “OMG, that is so hilarious! You should go on an American Idol audition. I bet you a hundred bucks you’d get on TV!” While I’m thinking about it, I think people should immediately be ejected from the audition if they can’t correctly name the song they’re going to be singing. Magic Carpet Guy sang “A Whole New World,” not “I Can Show You The World.” I know it’s trivial, but it should matter. These people have enough trouble getting the actual lyrics right, like Karaoke Girl, who got every other word to “Lean on Me” wrong. Pet peeve of mine. Learn the words! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/159 "2006-01-25T16:22:44Z")
Ol’ Rhonetta hadn’t even thought about what she was going to sing! ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390/160 "2006-01-25T16:28:44Z")
_Spice Rack_ Bwaaah!! 😃 Liked how she was proud of the fact that wherever she goes, people just stop and stare. Umm, honey, it’s not for the reasons you’re thinking. It’s because your hoohah is hanging out and your fake wig is slipping. Paris was just incredible. I honestly don’t see how she won’t walk away with the whole thing–they might as well have just stopped the competition right then and there and handed her the prize. Or maybe just given her a record deal on the spot. I 've never been so taken with an American Idol contestant’s talent. Wow. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-1-24/341390.md?page=9)