# American Idol 2/9-10 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 9, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309 "2010-02-09T18:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/121 "2010-02-11T19:27:34Z")
I don’t generally bash people for their looks (maybe stuff like tattoos and facial piercings, but those are choices). My rip on the guy that started all this was because he was crying and begging, not because of his looks. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/122 "2010-02-11T19:31:50Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I wonder if anyone has done a site like the Bush = Chimp site, only with Kris Allen. > > And I’d agree that the level of snark here is MUCH less than it is at TWOP, or God forbid VFTW, who refers to the foster kid as “Little Orphan Tranny.” Heh. Heh heh heh. BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, I’m sorry, guy who has had a tough go in life, but that is too damned funny. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/123 "2010-02-11T19:32:02Z")
It’s not just a singing contest, by the way. It’s as much about the contrived drama, back stories and personalities as it is about the singing. These kids aren’t selected purely by singing ability, they’re cast as types and back stories who can perform at a certain base level. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/124 "2010-02-11T19:37:40Z")
Posh made that pretty clear - just about every comment from her was about, “You have a good look. I like your look.” ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/125 "2010-02-11T19:40:32Z")
I’ve never read the TWOP forums for AI, so I went over there and man, oh man. They’re not as vicious as VFTW, but the one who said that Crystal Bowersox had the “Elliott Yamin Memorial Teeth” had me rolling on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/126 "2010-02-11T19:50:34Z")
Let it be known that I will continue to crack wise in AI threads for as long as I stick with it. Last year I only made it about 3 weeks into the voting part because the contestants bored the living shit out of me. I say what I think most of the time. I’d like to think I’m not needlessly cruel but since I am a bitch in real life, I’m sure I can sound bitchy in cyberland. It’s a shame we paid for yellowval with Pedo Umpaloompa. It would have been much more worth it for Little Ophan Tranny. > [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I’ve never read the TWOP forums for AI, so I went over there and man, oh man. They’re not as vicious as VFTW, but the one who said that Crystal Bowersox had the “Elliott Yamin Memorial Teeth” had me rolling on the floor. Hahahaha! That’s the single mom, no? Cuz I noticed those golden niblets from across the room. If she makes it past the first couple of weeks in the voting part, they’ll fix that right up for her. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/127 "2010-02-11T19:51:32Z")
[Elliott Yamin,](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_XU9x8G7khv0/SfjHEpHZ9_I/AAAAAAAACks/qKAq15lZmzk/s400/teeth-elliott-yamin-400a071807.jpg) for anyone wondering. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/128 "2010-02-11T19:57:38Z")
And all of us who noticed AND said something about those awful teeth did some good. [Elliot with before and after teeth.](http://rtss.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/elliot_yamin180.jpg) I think Elliot had some kind of jaw misalignment too. He was one of my favorites that year. I still joked on his teeth, though. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/129 "2010-02-11T20:00:13Z")
Yeah, Elliott post-makeover was actually totally hot. He’s one of the few Idol runners-up whose life has gotten noticeably better thanks to being on the show, and I don’t think it could have happened to a nicer guy. See? I’m not a total asshole. Also, I learned from the TWOP forums that tubby begging fuggo was the Abducted Kid who sang “Tempted” in his audition. I knew I’d seen him in auditions, but I couldn’t remember who he was. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/130 "2010-02-11T20:01:11Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > I’m really interested in what people think about this. I think it’s less about him and more about his wife–he seemed totally willing and ready to bail and be back with his wife, but his wife was pushing him to stay. The question will be whether his wife retroactively and unfairly holds it against him ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/131 "2010-02-11T20:08:18Z")
If he were fodder, it would be one thing. But a) Big Mike has talent, and b) I am not certain, but I think he may age out after this season, so there’s no “next year” for him. That having been said, for the sake of his marriage, I hope he makes it to the voting rounds. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/132 "2010-02-11T20:12:03Z")
From TWOP - > [@](#): > > 2:30 AM is when you go to sleep. Nothing good ever happens after three AM, everybody knows that, it’s why bars close at two: So you can get home before the Hour of the Wolf.\ > You can get sucked into their crazy on this show and think that there’s a judgment call to be made here, but there isn’t: Go. To. Bed. Agree on the idea, learn the small amount of words you need to learn, go the fuck to bed. You can rehearse in the morning if you sleep now. And not only that, but check it out: Biggest show in America. They are doing this to fuck with you so that we can watch you stay up too late and act erratically and then fuck up in the morning. This show has been on since you were in diapers and you never noticed them doing this? Be the boring ones that nail it in an hour and retire. > > And I see you saying, “But I have a crazy person in my group who’s not taking it seriously!” That is also on you. You have got to learn to judge a book by its cover. > > If they’ve got a giant purse, you don’t want them. More than a regulation amount of jewelry on their person or anywhere on their face? No. Anything stupid on their head? You don’t want them. White person with dreads? No. Black person with green or blue eyes? No. Shivering girl with \<5% body fat? Nope. Linebacker with a chin beard? Gone. Any clothes that incorporate ripped fabric in some way or otherwise look schizophrenic or costumey? Dunzo. Hollow eyes, hangy-open mouth, tight jealous lips, crunchy hair, protruding tongue, quick birdlike movements, distinctive eyewear, excessive scratching: Out. Anybody who says things like “I’m not here to make friends” or “It is what it is” or “I’m just doing my thing” or “This is my dream”? Deal breaker. Shut it down. I love it. For so many of these kids, once they’re in Hollywood, it’s like they have never heard of this strange thing called “American Idol” before, in spite of having lived all 16 of their years with no other goal than to win it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/133 "2010-02-11T20:18:04Z")
I think Jacob is the best recapper on that site. I liked this from his cap of tuesday’s show: > [@](#): > > No, but tomorrow we will, because: GROUP NIGHT! Mary Powers being an ass, Byrd yelling at people, Casey crying on the floor… Oh, my heart is racing, you guys. Shuffle just started playing that Van She remix of “1234” because it felt my vibes. I’m freaking out a little bit that it’s coming so soon because it’s what I think about every other week of the year, and when people ask me what my actual job is I always say, “There’s this one week in February where they stick kids in a hotel and feed them Red Bulls until they bareknuckle fight each other, and basically what I do is… wait around for that.” And now here it is! TiK fucking ToK! I wish it was tomorrow right now so hard! See you there! That’s about the best description of group night, and the reason for its appeal, that I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/134 "2010-02-11T20:22:37Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > I think it’s less about him and more about his wife–he seemed totally willing and ready to bail and be back with his wife, but his wife was pushing him to stay. The question will be whether his wife retroactively and unfairly holds it against him I do agree with that. Big Mike’s wife was totally game. She even let cameras into the delivery room. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/135 "2010-02-11T20:24:01Z")
The reason VFTW sucks is that they actually take themselves seriously. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/136 "2010-02-11T22:00:04Z")
I think the level of snark in these threads is about right. I read another board with weekly AI threads where there is little snark and lots of focus on the singing ability and it’s less fun there. I love following here as the show airs. I’m terrible at knowing the names of contestants until they get down to 12 or so and I’m probably guilty of low info posts. Sorry. I sometimes cringe at the apparent cruelty of the producers of AI when they more or less make fun of weird, untalented and clueless contestants. What is TWOP? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/137 "2010-02-11T22:02:24Z")
[Television Without Pity](http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php) ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/138 "2010-02-11T23:43:41Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > [Television Without Pity](http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php) Thanks, added to favorites. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/139 "2010-02-12T00:05:34Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I think Jacob is the best recapper on that site. Agreed. I also like M. Giant. Anyway… I wouldn’t go so far as to say that all the contestants are selfish dipwads looking for glory. There are several kinds of contestant on AI: [ol] [li]There are the ones with the over-inflated egos who think they are God’s gift to singing. They’re the ones who won’t shut up when told no, who beg for second chances, or who are otherwise astonished that the judges don’t recognize their brilliance. They don’t want to do the hard work, they just want to win a contest a live in a fairy tale. Because mommy said they deserve it.[/li] [li]There are the reluctant singers who are there because their dominating parents pushed them there, or because a friend talked them into it, or because of peer pressure.[/li] [li]There are the ones with absolutely miserable lives with no skills other than singing that might get them out of it, and they’re doing this out of desperation.[/li] [li]There are the ones with big talent when it comes to singing, but are hopelessly incapable of doing anything with that talent. That’s why they haven’t made singing careers for themselves even though they have the talent. They make it to Hollywood week, and then usually crash and burn. Usually, it’s because they have poisonous personalities, or because they’re horribly insecure, or stupid, or otherwise flawed in ways that will ever keep them from having real success at pretty much anything.[/li] [li]There are the professional singers - the ones who have actually tried to build careers and haven’t made it for various reasons, and give AI a shot out of desperation.[/li][/ol] The last group makes up the bulk of the people who have ridden the American Idol train to success - or at least more success than they had before. Chris Daughtry, Carly Smithson, Brooke White, David Cook, Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, Allison Iraheta… All of them had recorded before they auditioned for American Idol. The only people who are all jerks and dipwads are in group 1. There are definitely a lot of jerks in the other groups, but a lot of genuinely nice people, too. Group 4 is the one that gets decimated during Hollywood Week - intentionally. The point is not to hear you sing - they’ve already heard that. The point is to find out if you can be managed, if you’re a prima-donna, if you’re too stupid or too evil or too obnoxious to make it in entertainment no matter how well you can sing. Hollywood week exposes a lot of that. They intentionally put pressure on them - it makes for good TV, but it also helps crack the nuts. Most of this is a facade anyway. By the time Hollywood Week rolls around, you can bet that these people have been background-checked to death. The producers have listened to everything the professional singers have ever done, and have a very good idea of what they’re capable of. My guess is that of the top 24, the producers know who at least half to three-quarters of them will be before Hollywood week even starts. Everyone else is singing for the wildcard spots and they just don’t know it. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/140 "2010-02-12T00:11:12Z")
I don’t know that we can generically call contestants on AI assholes any more than contestants on Jeopardy. So they want money. Not a virtue (so drop the “dream” shit), but not a vice. Human. For the record, the TWOP stuff quoted here is where snark is good. It’s cutting, but funny, and essentially fair. When calling people fuggos and pedos is none of that. It’s just grade school name calling. It’s never the wrong forum for fighting ignorance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309.md?page=8)