# American Idol 2/9-10 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 9, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309 "2010-02-09T18:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/161 "2010-02-12T15:52:18Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > You seem to know a lot about what has gone on in these threads for someone who stays away. I never said I “stay away,” so this post makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/162 "2010-02-12T15:57:13Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > It wasn’t like I was the only one who found it pandering, by the way, so I don’t know why you’re acting like this is some take peculiar only to me. “Danny Deadwife” was his nickname all over the internets. It only takes a handful of douche bags to get something “all over the Internet,” and I never saw that name used without the person being quickly rebuked for being boorish and creepy. And what you don’t seem to realize is that most of the anonymous snarkers you’re using as a baseline rhetorical standard are about one third your age… and making no claims to fighting igorance. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/163 "2010-02-12T15:57:38Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > I never said I “stay away,” so this post makes no sense. You’re absolutely right. I got a couple of posters tangled up. Apologies. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/164 "2010-02-12T16:07:04Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > He hardly mentioned it after the first round or two. I think you’re projecting. > > ETA: Acting as though her death should have never been made public is the dumbest thing you’ve said so far. There is no way the AI people wouldn’t have found out about it. He was there with his best friend. > > If my wife died, I sure as hell wouldn’t keep it a huge secret from people. A someone whose wife died eleven years ago, I can tell you that there was a period of time during which her death was the biggest fact in the universe, to me. That period was not a couple of weeks, either. To suggest, as someone did above, that he didn’t have to mention it is idiotic. The contestants fill out forms, are asked questions. Does the poster above really think no one asks these contestants “Are you married?”? What should Gokey have answered? No? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/165 "2010-02-12T16:24:35Z")
I’m not saying he shouldn’t have told the producers about it if asked, but he could have asked them not to make it public. When I say “he didn’t have to talk about it,” I just meant on the air. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/166 "2010-02-12T16:26:05Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > A someone whose wife died eleven years ago, I can tell you that there was a period of time during which her death was the biggest fact in the universe, to me. That period was not a couple of weeks, either. I’m sorry for your loss. (I’m not being sarcastic) ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/167 "2010-02-12T16:59:23Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’m sorry for your loss. > (I’m not being sarcastic) Thanks. I’m one of thus un-ironic folks who would have taken you at face value without the disclaimer. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/168 "2010-02-12T18:30:30Z")
I’ll refer people back to my previous post - when you want fame, you take the good with the bad. In the public spotlight, people will comment on any and everything. If you want your private life to stay private and not commented harshly on, do what I do - stay unfamous. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/169 "2010-02-12T20:22:18Z")
It’s not whether or not they deserve it; it’s whether or not you want to come across like a bunch of vicious middle school nerds playing bully on the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/170 "2010-02-12T20:27:02Z")
We’re not bullying anybody, we’re pointing and laughing at assholes who deserve it. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/171 "2010-02-12T20:47:00Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’m sorry for your loss. > (I’m not being sarcastic) Dio, you ought to think a little bit about what the other man’s shoes might feel like before you condemn someone’s actions. You’ve not experienced the death of your spouse, as far as I know, and you’ve never come that close to a big-time musical career, either. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/172 "2010-02-13T00:39:29Z")
Danny may not have mentioned Sophia using words every week, but he held up his hands in that stupid Lenscrafters heart, which was ostensibly in reference to the “Sophia’s Heart Foundation” that he started. So the idea that he was milking his dead wife for something, whether it be fame, charity, or most likely a combination of both, is not out of left field. And if Danny Gokey seemed even remotely sympathetic as a human being, I think people would not have accused him of that. Instead, he came off as a smarmy, grasping douchebag. Plenty of Idol sob-stories have gone by without people making fun of them–I refer back to Elliott Yamin again, and his juvenile diabetes. Awful disease, he mentioned it exactly once, and nobody ever really brought it up again. He never came across like he was trying to milk anything about his background for pity votes. It’s funny, my favorite that year was always Taylor Hicks, but Elliott has totally grown on me in the intervening years. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/173 "2010-02-13T00:49:56Z")
None of that has to do with the humorless, hateful invective of a few posters that goes way beyond “snark” and into the uncharted waters of unresolved personal issues. I forgot all about that ‘heart’ thing. :shudders: ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/174 "2010-02-13T00:50:06Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > Yeah, I think the people who have spoken up this week have definitely heard (from some, not all) the message “We don’t want you here” very clearly. Point taken. This is not true. No one has said, or even implied, that you or anyone else is not wanted here. What HAS been said is that no one is willing to accommodate your personal sense of what is appropriate in an AI thread. I think all the nice guys should post. I also think that all the nice guys shouldn’t take everything so personally. But I understand if you all find the joking hard to take. Dio (and Lib, when he used to post) sometimes raise my hackles too. So say something. Just like you JUST DID IN THIS THREAD! That you are reading. Right now. See? No one is sending any messages to you. Stay. The message is: stay. For some reason, AI threads create _drama_! I remember getting into a kurfuffle with CK Dexter Haven-- who doesn’t even read AI threads-- over them one year. Chill, **val**. Read, enjoy, laugh, skip posts, argue. Or don’t. But don’t go accusing people of dis-inviting you. ---
**Author:** ![Library\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cab0a1/32.png) [@Library\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Library_Boy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/175 "2010-02-13T00:54:26Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > We’re not bullying anybody, we’re pointing and laughing at assholes who deserve it. Mommy? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/176 "2010-02-13T04:38:03Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > It’s not whether or not they deserve it; it’s whether or not you want to come across like a bunch of vicious middle school nerds playing bully on the Internet. I’m very much in the middle of this spectrum - I don’t think I rip people too harshly (if I have, I don’t recall it), but I find the snark here funny. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309/177 "2010-02-13T05:20:14Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > None of that has to do with the humorless, hateful invective of a few posters that goes way beyond “snark” and into the uncharted waters of unresolved personal issues. I’ve never seen any of that. Maybe you’re confusing us with some other board. Everything that gets tossed off here is funny and richly deserved. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-2-9-10/528309.md?page=8)