# American Idol, part III **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 20, 2004, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305 "2004-01-20T09:18:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/41 "2004-01-21T18:57:32Z")
I wonder why the judges let the bad singers go on as long as they do. It really only takes a few notes to tell if a person can sing or not and the bad ones make it pretty clear very quickly that they can’t sing. (You could tell that the “Sweet Home Alabama” couldn’t sing before he got to the first “Alabama”) Yet these judges let these losers caterwaul on and on when it’s pretty obvious they aren’t going to get any better. I guess it must be for TV. the comically bad performances are probably why some people watch. It can get _really_ painfu, though. even the judges look like they want to jump out the window at times. ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/42 "2004-01-21T19:13:30Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > …the comically bad performances are probably why some people watch. I have to confess that I enjoy watching these audition episodes much more than the normal competition episodes later on. And as far as the judges letting them ramble on, the reactions of Simon/Paula/Randy are half the fun, so I’m sure the producers have encouraged them to let a particularly bad performance just plow on. I also have to confess that I’m torn between feeling sorry for these horrible singers, and cheering Simon when he is brutal with his criticism. Part of me says “hey, don’t be so hard on them”, but the other part says “they deserve every word for being so moronic to think they can sing.” To balance it out, I have been surprised at the occasional bit of compassion and kindness that the judges have shown. Especially coming from Simon. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/43 "2004-01-21T19:27:51Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > These are the auditions. Nobody who fails here gets recalled later. The wild Card selectgions will come from people who are cut in a later stage of the contest, when they’re cut from 32 to 12. Not true. They brought someone back who didn’t make the cut from auditions last year. I forget who it was - it may have even been more than one person. It may have been that Carmen girl actually. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/44 "2004-01-21T20:00:18Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > These are the auditions. Nobody who fails here gets recalled later. The wild Card selectgions will come from people who are cut in a later stage of the contest, when they’re cut from 32 to 12. Usually, yes, you’re right. But not always. Last year Carmen was pulled out of nowhere for the wildcard. I don’t think anyone had even seen her before Simon announced that she was his wildcard pick. I think Army Girl might make a reappearance. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/45 "2004-01-21T20:00:40Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > These are the auditions. Nobody who fails here gets recalled later. The wild Card selectgions will come from people who are cut in a later stage of the contest, when they’re cut from 32 to 12. Usually, yes. But not always. Last year Carmen was pulled out of nowhere for the wildcard. I don’t think anyone had even seen her before Simon announced that she was his wildcard pick. I think Army Girl might make a reappearance. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/46 "2004-01-21T20:01:19Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > …I can’t help but wonder what famous but unusual singers, if they could audition (and were alive) anonymously, would make the cut. I may be a bit hazy on some of the details, but late last season Simon, Paula & Randy were guests on the Howard Stern Show. Howard brought in a few people who wanted to get an opinion from the judges. Mixed in with the amateurs was Josie Scott from Saliva (“Hero”, from the _Spider Man_ soundtrack), who was completely torn apart by the judges (“There’s absolutely no way you should pursue singing. You could never get a record deal.”, etc, etc). Meanwhile, this guy was sitting at #1 on the charts. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/47 "2004-01-21T20:11:00Z")
Of course the blonde muscle-boy who sang to Paula (I can’t remember his name) will be around until the finals, especially if he shows some skin. He sings fine and he’s way too gorgeous not to get a huge following. The main thing I kept wondering about the audition process was whether everybody who auditioned actually got to sing for somebody somewhere. I’ve attended way too many musical events in Atlanta from church recitals to high school plays to gay choral groups to know that there is a LOT of talent in that city of 4 million that wasn’t represented last night. ---
**Author:** ![CheekyMonkey613](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@CheekyMonkey613](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheekyMonkey613)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/48 "2004-01-21T20:23:44Z")
**ddgryphon** : I must admit, I love Simon. I tell people he’s my future husband. Somehow they don’t believe me. ☹ Seriously, imagine having sex with him? He’d hold up a score card. :eek: **gobear & RickJay** : You’re absolutely right. I can’t believe I’ve (most likely) seen the end of Army Girl, on AI3. I guess I was deluding myself with the Wild Card chance. **Dung Beetle** : “Actually, that kind of skeeved me out too. I was afraid the left one was fixing to come off!” You’re absolutely right. I remember the scene. And I remember what was coming out of her mouth while they were G-Force on her: _HAW LEE WOOD! HAW LEE WOOD! HAW LEE HAW LEE HAW LEE WOOD!_ Last but not least, the “What A Feeling” Girl. Well, fuck me. She made an absolute spectacle of herself. First she rips her stripper pants off. Only to reveal her “new and improved 80lb. less body”. Lovely. Then she sings like the star of a “karaoke-gone-wrong” reality TV show. Not only that, she “dances” like some kind of combination of an epileptic seizure and arm flailing like you’re on deserted island and spot a plane above. Then she’s rejected. And then the kicker! She says she lost 80lbs JUST for this and the whole thing wasn’t worth it. Holy shit, bitch! You just lost 80lbs and the fact that you’re healthier and look better isn’t worth it? A major accomplishment flushed down the toilet because your ‘talent’ isn’t recognized and you’re not gonna be the next American Idol? Cause we all know that you have to be thin to win… (think of Reuben Studdard). And then your friend LIES to you on (inter)national televison; she covers the camera as if the paparazzi are after a superstar. You’re no superstar; you’re a FREAK. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/49 "2004-01-21T20:47:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Usually, yes, you’re right. But not always. Last year Carmen was pulled out of nowhere for the wildcard. I don’t think anyone had even seen her before Simon announced that she was his wildcard pick. I think Army Girl might make a reappearance Carmen was cut in the second round, but she passed the initial audition. You’ve seen the last of Army Girl. Regarding blonde muscleboy–he’s really hot, but way too young. What’s really awful is I find the redhead lounge singer attractive and he’s only 16! Ack! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/50 "2004-01-21T21:07:36Z")
> [@CheekyMonkey613](#): > > Last but not least, the “What A Feeling” Girl. Well, fuck me. She made an absolute spectacle of herself. First she rips her stripper pants off. Only to reveal her “new and improved 80lb. less body”. Lovely. Then she sings like the star of a “karaoke-gone-wrong” reality TV show. Not only that, she “dances” like some kind of combination of an epileptic seizure and arm flailing like you’re on deserted island and spot a plane above. Then she’s rejected. And then the kicker! She says she lost 80lbs JUST for this and the whole thing wasn’t worth it. Holy shit, bitch! You just lost 80lbs and the fact that you’re healthier and look better isn’t worth it? A major accomplishment flushed down the toilet because your ‘talent’ isn’t recognized and you’re not gonna be the next American Idol? Cause we all know that you have to be thin to win… (think of Reuben Studdard). And then your friend LIES to you on (inter)national televison; she covers the camera as if the paparazzi are after a superstar. You’re no superstar; you’re a FREAK. The “What a Feeling” girl and her sassy friend are [interns at a morning radio show](http://www.933flz.com/morning_home.html) in Tampa, and did the audition as a prank. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/51 "2004-01-21T21:19:37Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > I may be a bit hazy on some of the details, but late last season Simon, Paula & Randy were guests on the Howard Stern Show. Howard brought in a few people who wanted to get an opinion from the judges. Mixed in with the amateurs was Josie Scott from Saliva (“Hero”, from the _Spider Man_ soundtrack), who was completely torn apart by the judges (“There’s absolutely no way you should pursue singing. You could never get a record deal.”, etc, etc). Meanwhile, this guy was sitting at #1 on the charts. 🙂 What did the judges say when they found out Scott was in Saliva? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/52 "2004-01-22T01:37:41Z")
Halfway through Wednesday’s show: That black kid is the first contestant who ever got turned down before he sang, just because he had a lousy atitude. He is headed for trouble in his life if that’s his daily behavior. I like the blond girl with the twang–why Paula called her affected is beyond me, and that the girl was “putting on an act”-hey you dumb bimbo (Paula), there’s a reason why it’s called SHOW business. And why Simon is on her for “yodeling”–the girl is from Texas and that’s called country, ya limey bastid! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/53 "2004-01-22T01:45:10Z")
> [@Amanita](#): > > The “What a Feeling” girl and her sassy friend are [interns at a morning radio show](http://www.933flz.com/morning_home.html) in Tampa, and did the audition as a prank. Well, then she should be an actress, because her weeping had me totally convinced! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/54 "2004-01-22T01:55:12Z")
Man, that blonde sure went through quick. Two lines and she was in. I’m sure it helped that she was hot but she was one of the few that could actually sing. I’m constantly amazed by the ones who refuse to believe that they can’t sing. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/55 "2004-01-22T02:01:54Z")
I keep hoping someone will really knock it out of the park but even the ones who go through are pretty mediocre. Maybe someone will emerge in the later rounds. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/56 "2004-01-22T05:56:55Z")
Well, I for one was just blown away by that Marvin Gaye-sounding guy. There are certain songs that are guaranteed to bomb in an audition, if performed by anyone who’s not top, top, top-notch. “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”, as I could have told those twins, is one of them. “You Are So Beautiful” is another. But when that guy started, I didn’t cringe, and a few bars later, I was totally :eek:. If he doesn’t end up in the final ten, I can’t imagine who will supersede him. Overall, though, I have to agree with **Diogenes**. The selections we saw were mostly just the ones who didn’t suck. Apart from “Marvin”, there’s been no Frenchie, no Ruben, no Clay. Maybe it’ll pick up next week when they’re out here and in Hawai’i. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![xayoz306](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xayoz306](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xayoz306)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/57 "2004-01-22T06:35:30Z")
What amazes me are the number of people, who, upon hearing Randy, Simon and Paula criticize and critque them, who say “They have no idea what they are talking about. I have true talent.” Do these people forget that Simon is responsible for helping vreate some of the top pop bands to come out of the UK in recent years, and Randy does this for a living to begin with? I didn’t see all of Wednesday night’s episode, but what did Sion say to make that one guy made enough to throw the water? And why can’t people realize that they dfo no know how to sing? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/58 "2004-01-22T13:13:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Apart from “Marvin”, there’s been no Frenchie, no Ruben, no Clay. Well, they’re not showing us the good stuff during these early shows. Remember the clip where they showed different people coming out of the auditions, yelling “I’m going to Hollywood!” “I made it!” and we had heard none of them sing. They’re just showing us the junk they had to wade through for the most part. I comforted myself last night by reminding myself the really bad ones probably aren’t for real. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/59 "2004-01-22T13:52:12Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > What did the judges say when they found out Scott was in Saliva? I don’t recally exactly, but it think it was somewhere in the area of “That’s nice. You still can’t sing”. They certainly weren’t apologetic about it. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305/60 "2004-01-22T14:13:50Z")
…the first kid last night (Wednesday) who said that if he had a one-in-four chance of winning a $10 million, then he wouldn’t buy a ticket because it “not [his] style.” Playing it cool is one thing, that kid is a :wally > [@Rilchiam](#): > > Apart from “Marvin”, there’s been no Frenchie, no Ruben, no Clay. Okay, this just shows how bad of a judge of singers I really am. Wasn’t there a red-head girl who got through last night (Wednesday), who Simon said was “over the top” or something like that? (“Over the top” in a bad way.) I seem to recall thinking that she was fantastic. > [@evilhomer](#): > > You’d think that people, if they’d watched the show before, would have clued in to the fact that not only to the top x percent of people get to see the judges, but so do the bottom x%! I know if I was auditioning and made it through to see Randy, Paula and Simon I’d be wondering “am I really that bad.” They’re all The-Glass-Is-Half-Full types of people, I’d imagine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/american-idol-part-iii/225305.md?page=4)