# Americans suck at math **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 16, 2003, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410 "2003-02-16T07:03:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/81 "2003-02-17T00:58:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Space Cadet \* > **Ok, you know, I came here hoping for a serious dicussion of American energy interests, and the consequences of these interests, but it seems you Yanks aren’t in the mood. I’ll try pokin’ it up your ass again later - hopefully at some point you’ll realize you can’t be on top for ever - and maybe, just maybe, you’ll actually be willing to engage in an actual debate.** Ah yes. Serious debates always start with statements like > [@](#): > > _from the OP_\*\* > Do your math - shit, take night courses if you have to - and stop with the lies\*. > And BTW, think twice, then again three more times, about going to war for our Canadian oil. We have more friends than you do. > \*\* Get a life, **Space Cadet**. If you had _really_ wanted to establish that “we Yanks” are bad at math, you could’ve sallied forth with an in-depth examination of the popularity of state lotteries, to great glee from even American Dopers. Instead, you are just a :wally ---
**Author:** ![Lear\_s\_fool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/df788c/32.png) [@Lear\_s\_fool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lear_s_fool)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/82 "2003-02-17T02:00:05Z")
I’m proof we can’t spell to ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/83 "2003-02-17T02:07:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lear’s\_fool \* > \*\*I’m proof we can’t spell to \*\* :rolleyes: Its not to. Its iether. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/84 "2003-02-17T02:15:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Space Cadet \* > \*\*And where did I mention current _production?_ > > I said Canada is the single largest source (i.e. in possession of, by living on top of… ) \*\* You’re embarassing me and my country and everyone else in Canada. You’re making us look like jerks and idiots. You apparently don’t even know what “oil reserves” means. Please shut up and stop making Canadians look like fools. I’ve spent three years trying to foster a reputation of being a reasonably smart guy, and you’re making Canadians look like fucking idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/85 "2003-02-17T02:25:27Z")
Don’t worry about it, **RickJay**. He only made _himself_ look like a fucking idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/86 "2003-02-17T02:49:02Z")
_“Your war on Iraq has only to do with oil as “spoils” or profits from war. The war is about power, strategic dominance, etc., in short taking over the world.”_ Profits from war, uh-huh. There was an interesting commentary in the N.Y. Times in the past week that dealt with the “oil as spoils of war” theory. I could not locate an online version, but basically it estimated 5 years of work and $1.5 billion in cost to get some semblance of decent Iraqi oil production flowing again - and I don’t think that figure took into account probable massive sabotage of the oil fields by Saddam after the outbreak of war. Once the new Iraqi government takes over production they will not exactly be giving us the oil for free, plus OPEC will be cutting back production to keep up prices. And we will be spending a fortune to patrol and rebuild Iraq, after having spent a fortune to fight a war and protect against terrorist outbreaks related to the war. I believe it is absolute nonsense to refer to “spoils of war”. I don’t think even the most misguided of hawks believe the U.S. is going to make a fortune out of an Iraqi war. _“Do your math - shit, take night courses if you have to…”_ You should take your own advice. ---
**Author:** ![Lear\_s\_fool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/df788c/32.png) [@Lear\_s\_fool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lear_s_fool)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/87 "2003-02-17T03:40:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chandeleur \* > \*\*:rolleyes: Its not to. Its iether. \*\* see ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/88 "2003-02-17T04:03:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brutus \* > \*\* **I gladly welcome our Canadian Overlords. May their reign be merciful.** \*\* Well, if the Canadians are going to invade, I’m going to be on the front line, as I live about a mile from the border. Of course I’ve done an awful lot of fraternizing with the enemy, and, as I used to go to the University of Toronto, I would make a very useful double agent. Maybe I should start practicing my Canadian accent… And well posted as usual **Una**. Of course, I fear your efforts may be akin to trying to argue Calvinist hermaneutics to the sidewalk preacher. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/89 "2003-02-17T17:38:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*:rolleyes: x 6.02 x 10[sup]23[/sup] \*\* :rolleyes: x 6.02 x 10[sup]23[/sup] = :moleyes: 😃 Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/90 "2003-02-17T17:52:32Z")
Dear America, the dimrod known as Space Cadet does not speak for us. Signed, the Rest of the World. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/91 "2003-02-17T18:15:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*the dimrod known as Space Cadet does not speak for us. > \*\* You know, I’ve never understood this. Most intelligent people realize that, so there’s no need to emphasize it. It’s like when people fall over themselves to apologize profusely for the Bush/Chretien/Blair/whoever administration or government and beg people to realize that they don’t speak for all Americans/Canadians/British/whoever. I mean, really, does anyone ever really think that they do? And if someone does, does that person really merit an apology and pleas for forgiveness? I don’t get it. OK, I’m done. Suffice to say, there’s no need to explain that **Space Cadet** doesn’t speak for the rest of the world as the rest of the world doesn’t consist of lunatics. ---
**Author:** ![Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clint_in_Wichita)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/92 "2003-02-17T19:03:37Z")
I recently watched a comedian, though I forget who it was, who said, "Canada is like a loft apartment overlooking a really great party. Now fuck oooff. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/93 "2003-02-17T20:19:46Z")
> [@](#): > > (the above is an extremely obscure reference to a certain comic… if anyone gets it they have my admiration) I don’t know what comic it’s from, but are you playing off the “drug dealer” cracl earlier, and referring to the use of hemp seeds in bird seed (including parakeet feed)? ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/94 "2003-02-17T21:14:47Z")
**Monster** : It was a reference to a strip in a Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers comic. Fat Freddy goes to a head shop to buy some scales for weighing parakeet seed. Told you it was obscure! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/95 "2003-02-18T03:24:32Z")
I don’t have anything to contribute to the roasting of the moron, but: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mtgman \* > \*\*:rolleyes: x 6.02 x 10[sup]23[/sup] = :moleyes: > > 😃 > > Enjoy, > Steven \*\* **Michael Ellis** and **Mtgman** really made me smile. I’m such a dweeb. And I’m old too. I’m an old dweeb. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/96 "2003-02-18T03:31:40Z")
Oh yeah, I forgot. Does anybody want to talk about monkeys? 'Cause I’m sitting on a whole big bunch of monkey-related questions. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/97 "2003-02-18T06:20:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brutus \* > \*\*Very well then: > > **I gladly welcome our Canadian Overlords. May their reign be merciful.** > > \*\* Good news, guys! Their tactics are to screw our brains out until we don’t care about invading Canada anymore! Well, mine anyway. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/98 "2003-02-18T06:21:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mtgman \* > \*\*:rolleyes: x 6.02 x 10[sup]23[/sup] = :moleyes: > > 😃 > > Enjoy, > Steven \*\* Does that mean that 1/(:rolleyes: x 6.02 x 10[sup]23[/sup]) = :mole-asses: ? And how slow were they last month? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410/99 "2003-02-18T06:37:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duke \* > \*\*Well, if the Canadians are going to invade, I’m going to be on the front line, as I live about a mile from the border. Of course I’ve done an awful lot of fraternizing with the enemy, and, as I used to go to the University of Toronto, I would make a very useful double agent. Maybe I should start practicing my Canadian accent… > > And well posted as usual **Una**. Of course, I fear your efforts may be akin to trying to argue Calvinist hermaneutics to the sidewalk preacher. \*\* Know the language of our new Overlords! Canadian word: **Eh?** American translation: Get back to the salt mines, dirty dogs! (Note how often you hear Canadians say ‘eh?’. Now put two and two together. Scary, eh?) Canadian word: **Zed** American translation: Work harder, dirty salt mine dog! (‘Zed’ is often taught to Canadian Overlords at an early age. Indoctrination is key.) Canadian phrase: **Kraft Dinner** American translation: Chopped up Americans, who didn’t work hard enough in the salt mines. (And we all know how popular ‘Kraft Dinner’ is in Canada.) We should all start working hard now, to make sure our new masters will be comfortable and ready to rule (mercifully, we hope!) when they get here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/americans-suck-at-math/155410.md?page=4)