# Amount of people needed to print a book in human skin? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 30, 2008, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743 "2008-06-30T05:57:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/21 "2008-06-30T21:26:45Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] It really depends on your followers/victims - if they are large, you will get more source material. [/QUOTE] Yeah, you want someone big through the hips…roomy. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/22 "2008-06-30T21:51:53Z")
I’m presuming this will be written in blood, using a bone for a stylus? I have lots of tattoos, and a “farmers tan” so hopefully I’m safe… ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/23 "2008-06-30T22:10:41Z")
[QUOTE=Yllaria] Are you sure that’s a downside? [/QUOTE] Well, I guess it depends on how much goth whining one is willing (and reasonably able!) to subject oneself to… Tolerances may vary, but I’d guess even the most hardened unspeakably evil sorcerer would break down and start writing bad poetry about how noone _really_ understands him at some point. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/24 "2008-06-30T22:20:29Z")
The only thing this thread lacks is “…need answer fast” in the opening line. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/25 "2008-07-03T22:21:52Z")
Sorry for the late reply—and a hearty thank you to all! And concerning the issue of stretching…would this be predictable enough that it could be corrected for with some kind of lens if inscribing the unholy miscellanea “in vivo,” so as to minimize the distortions in the finished product? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2008, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/26 "2008-07-04T04:46:54Z")
[QUOTE=Don’t fight the hypothetical] **SkipMagic** , I await your [consistency](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=473594) [/QUOTE] [Moderating] 1. Standards for GQ and MPSIMS are different. In any case, **SkipMagic** is not a moderator of this forum. 2. Don’t drag complaints about moderation of threads in other forums into GQ. If you want to complain, do so in the existing Pit thread. Colibri General Questions Moderator. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2008, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/27 "2008-07-04T08:20:29Z")
[QUOTE=Ranchoth] Sorry for the late reply—and a hearty thank you to all! And concerning the issue of stretching…would this be predictable enough that it could be corrected for with some kind of lens if inscribing the unholy miscellanea “in vivo,” so as to minimize the distortions in the finished product? [/QUOTE] Just tattoo the edges of each page, and stretch the skin as it cures to the correct size. Should work. Si ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2008, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/28 "2008-07-04T12:21:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Amount of people needed to print a book in human skin? Most small printing presses need only one operator. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/29 "2008-07-05T07:51:07Z")
As long as we’re making this volume how long would poisons,hallucogenic drugs soaked into specific pages to affect the unauthorised reader through his touch remain effective? And how much liquid would be needed? ---
**Author:** ![bundykala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@bundykala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bundykala)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/30 "2008-07-05T11:09:16Z")
[QUOTE=Tengu] […] So, on that note, I’ll just say my calculations agree with WoodenTaco’s (once I fix the size of the skin), but I’d say the number of victims needed should be rounded to 50, for two reasons - it gives more wiggle room for our calculations of the number of usable leaves from one person, and it’s a much more satisfying number for the dark rituals no doubt involved. \>\_\> [/QUOTE] Oh, I disagree on the rounding. If you add up the values of the letters in the words ‘blood’, ‘evil’ and ‘pages’ (A=1, B=2 etc), they all add up to 48. That quantity is more than appropriate if you ask me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/31 "2008-07-05T12:34:44Z")
[QUOTE=bundykala] Oh, I disagree on the rounding. If you add up the values of the letters in the words ‘blood’, ‘evil’ and ‘pages’ (A=1, B=2 etc), they all add up to 48. That quantity is more than appropriate if you ask me. 🙂 [/QUOTE] But that presupposes (sp?) that the Evil Insane Universe-Devouring Entities ™ that the _Book Of Horrendous Evil And Doom_ is going to be dedicated to speak _ **English** _! What if they speak Xnoglodrian and the number 48 is associated with “happy fluffy kittens” instead? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/32 "2008-07-05T12:47:22Z")
[QUOTE=Lust4Life] As long as we’re making this volume how long would poisons,hallucogenic drugs soaked into specific pages to affect the unauthorised reader through his touch remain effective? And how much liquid would be needed? [/QUOTE] Well, if we want to deviate from a pure-poisons method (as unromantic as that is) to use _biological_ agents, anthrax spores would probably do the trick nicely. It may not even be without precedent—I’ve heard a few claims that statues of Sekhmet were coated with such as protection against defilers, and the disease has sometimes been associated with one of the [plagues of Egypt](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plagues_of_Egypt#Boils_.289:8_-_9:12.29_.D7.A9.D6.B0.D7.81.D7.97.D6.B4.D7.99.D7.9F), which does have a nice poetic ring to it. I have no idea what hallucinogens would be appropriate for such purposes, though. Or what effect, if any, such chemicals might have on parchment quality or longevity (it simply wouldn’t do to have to keep an Eldrich Tome of Unspeakable Images and Law in a climate controlled, Argon gas enviroment. It just wouldn’t). ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/33 "2008-07-05T17:49:32Z")
**Amount of people needed to print a book in human skin? Need answer fast!** :eek: 😛😃 ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/34 "2008-07-09T21:11:28Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] There’s also the option of scribing the book on the still-living bodies, before the flaying and curing of the parchment. Or better yet, forcing every “page” to write itself at the beginning of the process. [/QUOTE] “It puts the letters on the skin; it does this whenever it is told” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![r2xman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dec6dc/32.png) [@r2xman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/r2xman)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/35 "2008-07-10T23:53:53Z")
I work for a organ and tissue procurement agency- we obtain human tissues for transplant and research. I did the math: 340 sheets x 307mm x 445mm = 46,449,100 square mm. 46,449,100 square mm = almost exactly 500 square feet of skin. (499.97). On exceptionally large donors (in the 500+ pound range) it is possible, but rare, to get about ten square feet of donor skin. So, irrespective of shrinkage, and under ideal conditions, it would take about fifty very obese people to get that much skin. More realistically it would take perhaps twice as many people of a more reasonable weight, say, in the 200 to 250 pound range, from whom a 5 square foot recovery is more feasible. just thought you’d like to know. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/36 "2008-07-11T01:02:59Z")
[QUOTE=r2xman] I work for a organ and tissue procurement agency- we obtain human tissues for transplant and research. I did the math: 340 sheets x 307mm x 445mm = 46,449,100 square mm. 46,449,100 square mm = almost exactly 500 square feet of skin. (499.97). On exceptionally large donors (in the 500+ pound range) it is possible, but rare, to get about ten square feet of donor skin. So, irrespective of shrinkage, and under ideal conditions, it would take about fifty very obese people to get that much skin. More realistically it would take perhaps twice as many people of a more reasonable weight, say, in the 200 to 250 pound range, from whom a 5 square foot recovery is more feasible. just thought you’d like to know. [/QUOTE] This is why I love the Dope. Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/37 "2008-07-11T03:08:06Z")
[QUOTE=lizardling] This is why I love the Dope. Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it? 😃 [/QUOTE] No kidding. I told my parents about this thread and they just didn’t get it. Come on, where else could you get a serious and yet non-creepy answer to this? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/38 "2008-07-11T03:34:28Z")
Here’s [Cecil’s column](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040604.html) on a related matter. (I think I just Godwinized the thread. Sorry.) ---
**Author:** ![Will\_Repair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a698b9/32.png) [@Will\_Repair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Will_Repair)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/39 "2008-07-11T19:34:54Z")
Your book will have how many footnotes? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743/40 "2008-07-11T20:22:43Z")
Please make the index pages out of index finger skin. And make the glossary out of tongue skin. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amount-of-people-needed-to-print-a-book-in-human-skin/454743.md?page=3)